Chapter 14:

Sasha POV

I felt a little better after the chat with Mom last night. And I suppose as I was strapping my bag over my shoulders and joining my friends in going to school was a normal teenage thing to do. I mean what is more normal than boring classes and detention. Morning classes were combat classes and in the afternoon we had academic classes.

I didn't know what was more boring. At least in the academic classes, they covered stuff we didn't know, even if it wasn't worth knowing. In the combat classes, the teachers had given me and my sister free reign a while ago. This morning at least Eric was there.

Eric and Christian had made a case of getting Eric in the combat classes instead of their magic classes. Eric, like us knew much more than the teachers and was bored out of his mind in those. The standard defense classes, which were now a part of the curriculum, weren't nearly as challenging for Eric as they should be. And Dani as a Dhampir was following magic classes instead of combat classes so Eric had made the point asking why the reverse couldn't be true as well.

Dani was a witch like her mother. She was sweet and kind and studious and the thought of her punching anybody was hilarious. She was a warrior in her own right but with a brain, not brawn. Eric was a little bit the opposite. He was using much more brawn, even if he sometimes could use a bit more brain.

A lot of students didn't want to train with him though. Not because he was Moroi. Not because he could be an ass sometimes, but because he wasn't just Royal, he was a Dragomir prince and the son of the queen. They were afraid Mommy would blow a gasket if they hurt him. And pissing off the queen wasn't something they wanted to risk. So like always we were stuck with teaching Eric the move the teacher wanted us to learn and in sparring matches, it was always the three of us.

When we walked in from the dressing rooms I say my sister was going out of her way to stay as far away from Eric as possible. I rolled my eyes. They have been dancing around each other for months. I didn't know why she was resisting so hard. Eric seemed amused by her reaction.

"So why are you avoiding him again."

I whispered to my sister.

"Because if I get to close to him, I am afraid I'll break his nose today so I am doing this for his own protection."
I chuckled. My sister was much more in control of her emotions than I was. But when she did blow, she went nuclear. I didn't want to be near her when she did and neither did Eric, especially seeing as he was her target at the moment.

The demonstration part of the class over, we moved to the mat trying the technique out. We had to take turns. It was a take-down technique where you spin first, taking the arm of your opponent with you in the momentum and then reversing the inertia on him, taking your opponent off balance, and bringing their arm to the ground letting their body follow suit. You either use the technique to incapacitate by locking the arm or, staking with your free hand, ending your opponent.

First, it was Eric and me. We took turns doing the technique. Despite Eric's cocky nature and obvious spoiled Royal attitude, he was a good fighter, who put in the time and energy to not only learn how to defend himself but also to fight on the front lines. He wanted to join a slayer unit the moment he graduated. I doubt his mother would allow him, but as his future guardians, Lera and I were thrilled. We would go with him. We had wanted to be in a slayer unit since we were four. Of course, that had more to do with seeing our parents getting praise over their work in the slayer units and their solo missions than anything else.

Now it was Lera's turn to practice the technique on Eric. She wasn't taking it easy on him and Eric was hitting the mat hard every time. Lera would let go of his restrained hand at the last moment, so the momentum didn't bring him down but send him flying. In a Strigoi fight, it was useless because they would heal from the damage immediately and escape your grip to come back to you, but it was productive in working through her issues I suppose.

After a few tries, Eric called it quits and they switched. Lera was mostly ignoring him and was actually putting in enough resistance without making too it difficult for Eric and he was able to take her down a few times. On the last try, he held on a little long and lost his balance as well. He ended on top of her, his hands catching him on the side of Lera's body. I felt my sister's heart rate going up and it had nothing to do with fear. I rolled my eyes as I saw their position. Eric seemed to be realizing it too. His muscular body pressed against hers and his leg between her thighs. They seemed locked in place for a few moments, then Eric presses his leg a little further into her core and her face distorts into anger. If I didn't feel her bodily reaction I would have never caught the moment of bliss before the anger settled on her face.

I don't think Eric noticed either since her fist was pretty damn fast with punching him in the face.

She got up and went to the girl's locker room. The class was almost over anyway. I walked with her to our next class. Stupid Moroi studies.

"So, want to tell me what is going on between you and Eric?"

"Nothing is going on between me and Eric."

"Convincing, you should keep that exact tone when Dad asks, he might actually believe you. But you can't lie to me and you know it."

She sighed deeply.

"He kissed me again, yesterday." I was a little surprised I hadn't noticed anything yesterday. But I was wallowing in my own pain a little yesterday.

"I don't understand why you keep denying you want him too. I can tell Lera. Why do you resist so much, seeing as you clearly want this too."

She stopped walking for a moment and looked at the dark sky above us. Even without transforming we could see more than others. The countless stars in the sky reminded her of Christmas lights. Lera's favorite time of the year was Christmas. We would celebrate Christmas here at court and head over to Baia after new year's to celebrate Christmas there. She always said we were lucky because we got two Christmases whereas there were people in the world that didn't celebrate any.

"Because one of us has to keep a level head and it certainly won't be Eric."

"Why do you need to keep a level head? What is wrong with a bit of romance and passion in your life? I would kill for someone to look at me like Eric is looking at you."

She looked at me a bit apologetic. She knew how much I was struggling with fitting in and how much it was bothering me I didn't think I would ever find someone who could love me.

"Because it isn't just about giving in now and having a good time. Would I still be able to guard him even if I am seeing him? What if it doesn't work out, we will still be his guardians. Could we still be around each other? Could I still be around him without strangling him? He does tend to be a dick you know. And what if we did make it together. What in a few years when he is expected to continue the Dragomir line and all I can give him is Dhampir children. Or freaks like us? No, it is better to stop it before it starts."

She had been overthinking this way too much. But that was Lera. She overthought everything. She was a born general because she planned for every contingency. Very helpful in battle but the 'what ifs' were hurting her now. I was personally more of the jump in now, figure out how to swim later but I understood her reservations. But I also knew she wasn't covering at least one way this could turn out.

"Do you think you could watch him be happy with someone else?"

She stopped walking again. But by the look of shock and horror on her face, I knew she hadn't considered that particular scenario. I saw she was imagining it now and wasn't liking what she saw.

"He isn't your normal Royal Moroi, he doesn't care you are Dhampir, somewhat, you know that."

"He doesn't care now, but eventually he and Rosie will need to continue the Dragomir line and truth is he can't do that with me. It isn't fair to expect Rosie to pick up all the responsibility for that one."

"Jill married Eddie. She didn't procreate for the Dragomir line."

"That isn't fair. Jill didn't know she was a Dragomir until her teens. She already gave so much up to have Lissa be queen it would be unfair to ask her to give up her boyfriend as well. Besides, many people don't consider her a true Dragomir anyway, because her mother wasn't royal and she was born out of wedlock."

"So the reason you don't want to date Eric as a teenager, while you are still a teenager, is because in what ten- twenty years you might have kids that don't carry the right name?"

"Sasha, I haven't felt like a teenager in a long time."

With that, she led it rest as we walked into the cafeteria. I knew my sister took things more serious than me. But I was glad to know she was struggling too. She didn't feel like any of these people either. She hides it so well, sometimes I don't see how much it is bothering her as well.

We sat down at the table with our friends. Eric was spotting a bit of a black eye but his baby sister was quick to heal him. Rosie had been trying out different powers. She had been showing signs of being a spirit user since she was ten and under the guidance of her mother, uncle Adrian, and Sonia she was trying to figure out what particular set of spirit powers she had. So far she had a knack for healing just like her mother, but she also seemed to be able to dream walk, while Lissa had been abysmal at that. Aura's were still hard for her, but she was picking up a stray thought here and there. And like her mother, she was diagnosed with depression. But since we had found a way to counteract the spirit darkness she had it under control with regular check-ins with the psychiatrist.

"You still doing okay Rosie. No need to feed yet?"

Dani asked. She was sitting across from us looking over at Rosie and to Eric. She was concerned for Rosie but was also very curious how he got the black eye in the first place. Seeing as Lera was making a point not looking at Eric, she was quick to deduce Lera was the culprit.

Dani was a scholar and a witch and was mostly serious and studious. She had that in common with Lera. But Dani was also in the loop of all the gossip and was a real gossipmonger. She definitely got that from Uncle Adrian.

"No, I am good. I'll let you know."

It had been Adrian and Sydney who had figured out the 'cure' for spirit darkness. I didn't want to know how, but they discovered that feeding from a witch would restore the power they lost. Aunt Sydney said it was probably because witches blood was coated in magic and life. They drew strength from the world around them and stored it as energy in their blood. It was why Strigoi couldn't feed off of them and why giving back some of that 'life' was beneficial to spirit users. The coven, Sydney belonged to each donated their blood every once in a while to spirit users in the form of an actual blood bag but Dani always kept an eye on Rosie and let her feed on her when she needed. Fresh blood was the best and Rosie spend a lot more power than most spirit users because she still had to control her gifts and was practicing a lot. Also, nobody wanted to see a fourteen-year-old go insane.

I knew Dani would let her feed on her wrist instead of her neck and Rosie would heal the wounds after because there was still a stigma on Moroi-Dhampir feedings. But I was imagining Rosie at her neck drinking her fill with Dani, letting the delicious blood drip down her neck. I shook my head. These images of people feeding were getting in my head too frequently.

"So all excited about the dance?"

Rosie asked trying to take the topic off of herself and she ever presents the chance of insanity.
Everyone merely gave a few groans. Actually, I was a little excited. It was such a normal teenage high school thing to do and I was looking forward to it.

"Well, you guys are no fun. All my friends are super excited, now that we are no longer on the elementary campus we can actually attend our first dance." Rosie was bouncing up and down.

"I am with you, Rosie. Don't let these boring people get you down. I am always up for a party." I saw Lera roll her eyes.

"I got asked by Brian, he is a sophomore."

Rosie said all dreamy. I had to remind myself she was fourteen almost fifteen and just entered high school. This was a big deal to her. And being asked by a boy who was a grade higher was apparently an accomplishment. I didn't want to break it to her that her title gave her as much popularity as her personality did.

"You are fourteen Rosie, you are not going to the dance with a boy if I even allow you to go at all."

Eric may be a dick sometimes, but he was a very protective older brother.

"Mom already said I could go."

Rosie like a true little sister stuck her tongue out at him.

"Well I am telling Dad, I am sure he won't be happy about this."

"Dad is chaperoning and so is Dimitri, It is just a dance. It isn't like I am going to lose my virginity to him or anything."

Eric visibly shuddered at the thought of his little sister being sexually active. In part because she was his little sister and because he himself was a virgin. I imagined the thought of being beaten by your little sister in that respect would be embarrassing. I certainly would be. Hell, I am if Rosie would find someone before I did.

"I am so glad you and I are twins. None of this protective crap between us."

Lera whispered to me.

"And I am the younger sibling so you should be protective of me."
She smiled.

"So Eric, you have a date yet?"

Dani asked trying to steer the conversation away from the sexual appetite of a fourteen-year-old.

Eric glanced over to Lera for a moment before confirming he didn't.

"Not that people haven't asked. Lots of girls have asked me, but I think I am going solo."

"Same here."

Lera answered. Making a pointed look towards Eric that if he even tried asking her, he would already know the answer.

I have had a few cards in my locker from girls, but I wasn't interested. They would run away if the saw the real me. Besides most girls here were spoiled bimbos. There were a few I wouldn't mind hanging out with but none that really caught my fancy.

"What about you Dani. Anyone special asks you?"

She started to blush. Dani never blushed.

"Andy asked me."

"Ooh." We all said in unison. She rolled her eyes.

"So does your Dad know?" She blushed again.
"I have been trying to tell him, but there never seemed to be a right time. Besides wouldn't he already know? He can read my aura you know."

"How did your Mom react to finding out Andy is taking you," Lera asked. She shrugged.

"She wasn't very surprised. Asked me if I wanted to go and wished me luck."

And as if on cue Andy came around the corner.

She was a tall Moroi with a few curves. Her most prominent feature was probably her blond hair with the tips dyed a deep purple. She had that alternative vibe around her, the artsy fartsy kind with ripped jeans and a multicolored shirt. The fact she went by Andy and not Andrea was also right up her ally. She sat down next to Dani and I saw Dani blush when Andy grabbed her hand.

"I got the tickets. I got couple tickets, you get a free photo if you do. I hope that is fine."

Dani was deep beetroot red by now and simply nodded not being able to utter a word. Andy was the take charge kind of girl and exuded confidence and alpha energy. Dani was in no way insecure but was a little more subdued. They made a cute couple.

"I'll pick you up next Friday at your place?"

Dani looked a little panicked but nodded anyway. Not only because Dani's place wasn't exactly on court grounds, it was located a couple of miles outside of court but was still warded, but because it meant uncle Adrian would see Dani being picked up for her date by a girl. I think uncle Adrian had known her whole life Dani was more into girls than boys, we certainly did, but Dani had only recently made the realization. Before she simply wasn't interested in anyone, boy/ girl, it didn't matter. She was interested in knowledge, but Andy had changed that. They had been dancing around it for a while but now Dani was able to accept she was into girls and Andy had apparently broken the ice by asking her to the dance.

If even the witch gay Dhampir girl can find love, it shouldn't be so hard for me right?

Lera's POV

I was lying in my bed. I should have turned off the light a little while ago. Tomorrow I had an algebra test and I should be prepared by studying and being rested. I did the former but was failing miserably at the latter. I was thinking about the things that happened today. The incident in training and Sasha's words.

Could I watch him be happy with someone else?

I always told myself I could. It was the logical conclusion of my current behavior. Although I never really got that far. I considered every scenario, but somehow me standing on the sidelines watching him live his life with someone else hadn't been one. I imagined us being together and breaking up. I considered us never getting together and always being frustrated with each other. I imagined us working out having kids and him leaving me down the line because he realized he needs to fulfill his duty to his Royal line. But us never being together and me watching him as his shadow while he lives his life hadn't been a consideration.

Did I want him? If I should believe my body I did. Every time he kissed me I melted into him. His hands on my hips and back felt so natural. I wanted more, I needed more. But he was playing with fire.

Even now I could feel the effects he had on my body. Eric never took it any further than a kiss, but today he had pushed his leg against my core. The position had been accidental, the action of his leg pre-mediated. I could feel the heat rushing to my nether regions thinking about it. I was imagining his strong thighs pushing more than just his leg in there.

My hands were subconsciously moving down my body, over my breasts and down between the apex of my thighs where I needed it the most. The moment my hands came into contact with my already dripping core I gasped. One finger was circling my clit while the fingers of the other were slowly making their way inside. I curled my fingers finding the sweet spot and started to pump them in and out while my other hand was sensitizing my clit by making large torturous strokes. I turned over now on my knees and leaning on my shoulders. My face buried into my pillow. I was pumping my hips into my hand as if someone was taking me from behind. I was getting close, my movements becoming more frantic with every thrust of my fingers and hips. I was glad my moans were somewhat stifled by my pillow.

I felt the fabric of the pillow tear and the feeling, only moment away from the high vanished. I let go of my core and jumped out of bed. I walked into my bathroom and checked the mirror.

Shit. My fangs were out and my eyes were red. Yet another thing keeping me from Eric. I knew why I had never considered several scenarios: Him being happy with someone else because I was in denial. Him ever being with me and staying with me because he would take one look at when the beast came out and run the other way. Sure he had seen us transform a thousand times. In battle, in training, on a dare, but seeing me like this in our most intimate moments, was something else. He would be sleeping with an animal and like an animal I had little control over my basic instincts. Eric took control away from me. Maybe with someone else, I would be able to separate sex from transforming, but with him, I knew I couldn't. I hated him for stripping me of my hard-fought control.

Sasha's POV

Oh naughty, naughty sister. Not that I was a stranger to self-gratification. I was a seventeen-year-old boy. But it was rare for my sister to indulge. Usually, our physical link was more of a hum at best and I could block it out. And although I could do that now, I assumed she did it with me, I hoped she did, I didn't because it wasn't the fact that she was masturbating that had me worried. It was the fact she suddenly stopped that was getting to me.
I walked the few meters to her room and knocked. I heard her groan as a sign of giving me entrance.

She was lying on her bed with her hands over her face. Her face had been splashed with water but it obviously hadn't helped. I recognized the position because I had been in an identical position nearly twenty-four hours ago. I guess we really were twins.

"So… why did you stop."

She looked at me and realization was on her face including a little blush.

"You kept tuned in? Pervert."

I chuckled.

"I was about to tune out and put my headphones on when I felt you stop. Why?"
She sighed.

"When you… you know… Do you transform?"

I laid down next to her.

"Every time. I try not to, but I can't seem to help it."

She groaned. Not the answer she wanted to hear.
"Now, when I think about anything sexual I feel my fangs extending. The reverse is also true. Whenever I think about feeding or someone else feeding, I get turned on."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

"How are we supposed to ever have functional relationships?"

I shrugged.

"I doubt Eric cares. He might even return the favor. There is a reason why blood whores exist you know. To a certain extend Moroi feel the same need during sex to feed."

"Yeah, but if I lose control, someone could die… Besides, I doubt Eric loses control. He doesn't have that beast inside of him trying to claw their way out."

Funny. My sister named it too. Beast, monster, animal it was all the same thing, referring to our ever-present inner struggle for control. But at least I knew Eric understood.

"I'll let you in on a little secret, but if he finds out about it, he is going to be pissed at me so you better keep your mouth shut."
She nodded.

"Although not exactly the same, Eric burns things when he is turned on. He had a hard time explaining to his mother how his shower ended up with melted tiles. He doesn't have much control either although he is working on it. He confides in me about being scared of ever being with a girl because he is afraid to hurt her. It is why he has turned down so many girls. That and you of course."

At first, she was relieved. This was something they had in common and something they could maybe work out together. Then she was mad.

"Oh so now I am just a suitable bed partner because he knows he can't hurt me. Great, just what I always wanted to hear. 'Oh, how I love your regenerative powers'."

I chuckled.

"He doesn't want you for that and you know it. He has had a crush on you ever since he figured out what a crush was. I am just saying that he has these fears too and if you let him burn you, he might let you bite him."

I winked at her and she rolled her eyes as she punched me.

"Still doesn't solve a lot of problems."

"Solves some."

I got up from her bed seeing as we really should be getting some sleep.

"Oh and Lera, biting your own wrist while you climax tends to help. Trust me it is better than being frustrated all the time. Makes you more dangerous."

She nodded.

So for those that have read the bloodline series, I really believe Richelle Mead was hinting at the fact witches blood might be a cure for spirit darkness. But I suppose if she doesn't continue the series, we will never know, but I thought I would put it in.