AN: Just a bit of Christmas humor. This idea popped into my head and I decided to give it a try. Poetry has never really been one of my strong suits, regardless of my interest in it. Hope you like it. As with all my other chapters in this tale, the characters are not of my property.
(Also since this is a repost, this was originally posted around Christmas, so it fit at the time.)
The Night Before Christmas at Youkai Academy.
It was the night before Christmas,
And all at the school
Were monstrous and scary,
Save for one brown haired fool.
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The students were all stranded
The bus broken down
Most students were sad
Upon their faces, a frown
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One student, though
Saw this as her turn
To catch a blonde yoko
You would think she would learn
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After all, Mizore was
The jealous kind
Snow and ice would come
Rendering most girls quite blind
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The young Yuki Onna
Lay all enwrapped
By her boyfriend's tails
So comfortably trapped
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A pink haired vampire
Through the window peered
Feeling quite certain
There was nothing to be feared
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She saw her food source
Comfortably sleeping
Moka's stomach roared
Her hunger led to weeping
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Thinking herself quiet
Toward the dorm room she crept
Ignoring her surroundings
At the blonde's throat she leapt
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Suddenly she stopped
Thinking this all too easy
A memory of the last attempt
Made the girl quite queasy
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Looking down the girl saw
Traps, tripwires, and ice
In a multitude of forms
And none of them nice
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Cursing to herself
Moka retreated from the room
Scared of everything
Lying in wait in the gloom
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Quickly she left
Then to the girls dorm she went
To borrow a few things
It was time well spent
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Leaving the dorms
She spotted hair of blue
A succubus out flying
"I need your help Kurumu!"
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The succubus landed
Showing severe lack of sleep
From Moka's request
From laughter she did weep
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The vampire in a rage
Knocked the succubus out
She quickly saw the worth
Of a human shield to tout
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Quickly leaving
The scene of the crime
Moka laughed quietly
She would get him this time
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Kurumu dreamed
Of a blonde fox so fine
Unknowing that soon
Moka would be crossing a line
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The pinkette slid Kurumu
Face first on the floor
The trap that she sprung
Threw Moka out the door
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The vampire fumed
How could this be?
The trap caught Kurumu
Yet the one hurt was me.
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Moka took out a box marked
Naruto hunting gear
Putting on a suit and goggles,
She opened the door with trepidation and fear
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The goggles showed her
A floor filled with traps
And a blue haired succubus
Spread across the sleeping pair's laps
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Moka raised an eyebrow
That didn't seem fair
She was the one blasted out,
Yet her decoy was the one who was deep in the lair
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Mustering up her courage
Over the first tripwire she stepped
Only for her foot to hit a pressure plate
Over gouts of flame and poison darts the vampire leapt.
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Snarling in frustration
Moka tried again
Only to be rebuffed
At a speed that felt like Mach ten
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Suddenly the vampire
Had the immediate thought
Of the student that
Naruto was supposed to have taught
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She went to Tsukune's room
And opened the door
She was shocked by what she saw
Tied up on the floor
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In a very quick moment
Her hair wasn't the only part of her pink
Whoever knew it was
Yukari that had a bondage kink
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Ignoring the muffled pleas
Of the boy tied up on the ground
Moka quickly backed away
And softly shut the door with nary a sound
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Moka trudged back
To Naruto's room
Trying to forget
What she had seen of Tsukune's doom
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Moka had taken out a box
Marked Explosives, Don't Touch
She emptied it out
Then a voice asked Overkill Much?
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There stood Tsukune
All decked out in bright green
Moka had only one thought:
He looks like a string bean.
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Tsukune gave a thumbs up
His white teeth gave a ping
You have the flames of youth!
Through Moka's ears, this did ring.
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Dynamic Entry! Tsukune leapt
Through the now open door
Then came stumbling out
Looking much worse than before
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Smoke rose from his form
And who should appear
But Yukari with a whip
And her face set in a leer
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Moka I'm sorry,
Tsukune shouldn't have left
I'll take him back now,
Tsukune moan, of hope, was bereft
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Purging her thoughts
Of this very strange scene
Moka set her sights
Once more on the blonde teen
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Moka's hunger waxed stronger
Her Rosary gave a rattle
Then to her surprise
Her inner vampire began to prattle
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You are just a weak little girl
You call yourself a vampire
You are nothing but a limp leech
Now get some blood before we both expire
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Stacking the dynamite
Just inside the door with care
She figured the blast radius was small
And Naruto would still be there
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Setting the match to the fuse
Moka ran for the hills
She just hoped Mizore and Kurumu
Had updated their wills
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Moka counted down quickly
Then she heard a loud pop
When she saw the room
Her jaw, boy did it drop.
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She turned to see the carnage, yet
To Moka's shock and surprise
Instead of a scene of burns and charring
A fog of confetti covered her eyes.
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Moka's mouth was open
She fumed, it was a dud
Her inner self laughed,
You are just like Elmer Fudd.
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All these plans you have hatched
Blew up in your face
Looking at the results
You stink at the chase
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Let me take over
I'll show you my dear
How a vampire operates
Or else we'll be here till next year
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The sweet tempered Moka
Transformed with a glow
She jumped into the room
Then was thrown out into the snow
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Shock and frustration
Showed on her face
She jumped back screaming
Naruto! Know your place!
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Meanwhile, Naruto and Mizore
Laying cuddled and snug
The Yuki Onna watched the vampire
With an expression quite smug
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While she had been awake
Almost the whole time
Her thoughts on the matter were
Ah, the revenge is sublime
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This uppity vampire
This pink haired wench
Thinking only of herself
And her monstrous thirst to quench
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If only the girl would ask
Instead of jumping to take
She wouldn't have smashed
Her face with that rake
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The inner Moka
With rage was seething
She was a vampire, the best!
Not a babe who was still teething.
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These traps they all seemed
To be evil and cruel
It might have helped Moka
To remember the Golden Rule
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Moka thought for a moment
Who else could possibly help
Pass this gauntlet
Created by an impudent whelp
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Her thoughts turned to Gin
He could use his werewolf speed
To pass through these traps
And their danger not heed
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She went in search of the boy
She found him asleep on his bed
With pictures of girls
Laying all around his head
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Seeing one of herself
In clothing rather skimpy
Her rage bloomed and made
Gins abilities seem quite whimpy
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The battered wolf plead
"I'll do anything I swear!"
Moka snarled, "To Naruto's room!"
She then quickly followed the were. (my beta pointed out that I should say this should be read like were in werewolf.)
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Gin stood by the door
His eyes filled with fear
"You want me to go in there?"
He sniffed with a tear.
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Squaring his shoulders
The wolf set out
To conquer the traps
And show his own clout
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However, before the wolf
Could bring his speed to the fore
A note near his eyes read
Gin, those pictures, I've got more!
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The wolf paled slowly,
He had a choice to make
Be beat by the vampire
Or a blackmailing Naruto to wake
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Gin made his choice
Broken bones, those would heal
But if those photos got out
He wouldn't get a last meal
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Slowly turning towards
The girl with silver hair
He cried, "There is no way
I will go in there!"
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Frustrated, the vampire attacked
And pounded the wolf bloody
A passing sleepy student was asked
By Gin "Help me buddy?"
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Moka fumed! She raged.
"I'm hungry!" She did cry
Then she had a thought
There was one more person to try
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The witch Ruby
Although quite sweet
Wouldn't mind helping her
In getting a Naruto treat.
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Moka woke the witch
"Ruby, go to your master."
Moka continued, "I need spells,
And you to be the caster."
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Ruby woke slowly
Moka seemed possessed and in a hurry
Not too unlike the incident
With that awful, atrocious curry
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Moka why did you wake me?
The witch slowly mumbled.
Moka pushed her through Naruto's door
And watched as through the traps she stumbled
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Moka soon realized her error
She had woken the witch
With a need for her spells
Her plans now had a small hitch
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Her jaw lowered further and further
As Naruto's defenses were tested
And yet the sleepy witch succeeded
In getting through them unmolested
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Ruby tripped then landed
Quite safe on the bed
There was even a pillow
In a spot for her head
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Ruby just nodded
"Thanks Moka. I need the sleep"
Yet out in hallway
The now pink haired vampire did weep
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She had tried all night long
Just for a little blood
Yet she was the one
Often face down in the mud
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For hours she tried
Tripping traps through the night
Valiantly she refused
To give up this fight
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Then she noted that dawn was arriving
She had spent the whole time
In an effort for food
She huffed "This hunger is a crime."
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She sat in the hallway
Her face full of dejection
She just couldn't crack
The room's terrible protection
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She sighed and then turned
To face the dreaded door
To see a brightly colored box
Just sitting on the floor
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She then spent five minutes
The box poking and prodding
Trying to determine
What the blonde fox was plotting
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She read the tag, and slowly opened the box
Tears came down her face in a flood
It was filled to the brim
With packets of blood
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Sitting atop the pile was a note
Upon which was written
I like to be asked
Before I am bitten
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The note continued
Remember I said ask first
Had you done so,
Assuaged would be your thirst.
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Moka drained a few bags
Reveling in the taste
So thirsty was she
Not was drop went to waste.
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Moka sat and thought
Of her words and her deeds
She had been quite hungry
But hadn't thought where her actions might lead.
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Moka sat thinking of what was done
She sat there depressed and listless
Hoping her actions hadn't lost her friends
Or ruined their Christmas
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A clone of Naruto
Had watched the whole night
Seeing every step, plot, and fail
Yet the pinkette wouldn't give up the fight.
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The clone smirked as it saw
The girl's eyes begin to close
He wrapped her in a blanket
From her shoulders to her toes
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Nudging the sleepers to one side
He set Moka on the bed
Softly placing a pillow
Underneath her head
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Moka finally was able to enter the room
Her last thought as she drifted off to rest
I hope their Christmas is good
This one has been the best.
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When he had tucked in the girl
And turned off the light
The clone whispered as he faded from sight
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
Thus ends my flight of Holiday whimsy.