Chapter 14

Travis' POV

When I left the cottage, I started to wander in the woods. Grief struck me again. I couldn't stand seeing how Rose woke Bella up. She woke me up like that. It hurt me even more. Only Alice kept me truly sane. She was like her in so many ways. I craved for her company, for her presence even though all I do is irritating her. I can't believe I had her banned from her therapy as she liked to call it. That was so sick! I am such a jerk. Why can't I stop being a player right now? I did it before and why can't I do it now? Why can't I be the sweet and caring guy I used to be when she came? I can answer that easily though. That part of me was taken away when I was turned. Everything and everyone I love was taken away from me and that made me sad and angry. I could have had a good life ahead of me if I wasn't changed. I'd be happily married and have a family. I'd be saving lives instead of taking it away. If being the operative word.

Despite everything, I still love my grandfathers and friends in the Volturi. They gave me a different kind of joy. They were somewhat destined to be a part of my life- of my forever. They still took care of me. They made me feel loved and welcome and I'm happy that I make Grandfather Caius happy. They told me that he never smiled for happy reasons so at least I was of service.

I sighed. I headed back home and proceeded to Alice's room since I liked her calming scent. I barged in, not bothering to knock. Alice was lying down on her bed, reading a fashion magazine. She looked at the clothes longingly and that made me feel guiltier. Her eyes turned its gaze to me and there was shock.

"Have you ever heard of knocking?" she asked.

"I might have heard it before but where's the fun in that!" I shouted. Great! Say sorry dimwit. My conscience told me but those words didn't want to come out my mouth. I bit my lip and flopped myself beside Alice.

"And if I was dressing up?" she asked expectantly.

"Well, that would be a sight for me." I told her which earned me a smack. Nice going, jerk. You'll never be a gentleman with what you say and do. I thought to myself. "Ow! I was kidding. Sheesh. Anyway, do you want to go out? Watch a movie or something?"

"How many times do I need to turn you around?" she asked me.

"Why won't you just give me a chance? It won't hurt to do so."

"Because you're a player which means trouble and I'm not in the mood for trouble." She told me, emphasizing the word player much to my demise.

"You don't even know why I'm like this." I mumbled.

"Care to explain? So that I could understand why you hit on everyone within a fifty mile radius."

Oooohhhh…. Low blow. That got me fuming. What right does she have to say that?

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHY I'M LIKE THIS SO SHUT THE HELL UP!" I snapped. She was startled and her face fell. She looked genuinely sorry and remorseful and that made me feel guilty for having her feel that. She bit her lower lip. She shouldn't have said that. Those words would make me snap every day.

"I'm- uh…. I'm." she stuttered.

"Shut up. I'll tell you my story." She nodded and I sighed. Here goes nothing!

"It was just a few years ago. I was only fifteen when I met Tiffany. Since I was advanced, most of my classmates were older than me, including her. That made me have low self-esteem. Believe it or not, I was very shy but Tiffany brought out the best in me. She was my lab partner. She was gorgeous, smart kind and funny! I realized that I had fallen in love with her. I built up all the courage I could muster and I asked her out. She said yes and we got together. I loved her with every fiber in my body.

"On our fourth monthsary, she asked me to finally do her and since I loved her so much, I agreed. The morning after, she broke up with me. She told me that she was feeling guilty since everything was just a bet and that she didn't love me at all and that she had a boyfriend and he dared her to take away my V-card. I was broken. I never trusted girls with my heart from that moment. I learned that being vulnerable could break you in all ways. I started playing with girls' hearts ever since. I had a new girl with me every week or sometimes, everyday. I gained quite a reputation and I got a lot of new friends. Some were real and some became friends with me just to tell people I knew him or her.

"I was happy with that kind of life until I met her. Two years ago, when I was in my third year in med school, I met Kaitlin Brown. She was advanced as well. She was a year younger than me and she was in her first year in med school. We took the same course for our undergrad years, psychology. It was like love in first sight. Actually, at first, I thought it was all lust and that I just needed her in my bed but after a month of trying to get her into bed and failing, I realized that I was in love with her. I pursued her and after three months of pursuing her, we finally got together and we were in love.

"She was the one and I knew that. On my graduation, I asked her to marry me and she said yes. It was a month before the wedding when I went to Italy. I wanted to buy her a pre-wedding gift and an anniversary gift. I was bitten. I couldn't face her again once I knew what I had become. I was a monster, am one and forever will be one. I couldn't risk them getting hurt so I didn't come back and called the wedding off which got her depressed. I didn't want to love again, seeing the fact that I lost the love of my life, twice. I do not want to feel pain again. The pain I felt was something hard to bear and bearing it again would completely kill me." I finished and finally broke down.

Alice's POV

I've never seen Travis look so weak and vulnerable. He has been through a lot. He lost the love of his love twice. I cradled him in my arms and said soothing words. He was so torn. I could tell that Kaitlin was everything to him. Although, I feel that he's not telling me something but I'd rather not push it.

The Volturi ruined everyone's lives. I hate them so much. Travis had a good future ahead of him. How could Caius just take that away from him? And I'm sure that they're going to fake his death and what would that do to his family? To his friends? To his fiancée?

Travis is truly a caring person although he could be annoying but he was also so forgiving. He didn't hate the Volturi. He forgave them. And among all the human blood drinkers, he was the one who truly respected our diet, apart from Garrett. He didn't make fun of it even though he had no desire to follow it. I totally misjudged him. He soon wriggled to break free and I let him go and he smiled a genuine smile

"I'm sorry for everything, Alice. You just remind me of Kaitlin." He apologized.

"I should have never been judgmental. Listening is sometimes better than talking." I replied.

"I'll have the ban lifted and I'll never blackmail you again." He promised.

"Thank you." He smiled and I smiled back.

"It's nothing. Can I stay here for a while?"

"Sure." I said with a shrug.

I stood up and walked to the door and before I could go out, he called me.

"Alice. She was pregnant when I left. Eight months pregnant. I just wanted to get it out." I was about to say something when he dismissed me and I went downstairs. What could I even say? That I'm sorry? Sorry won't make things better and I am sure that he hates being pitied. I just had one thing to say actually. Travis is not a monster, he's a fallen angel.

Travis' POV

My baby. I know that she's a girl. That's all I know about her. She's probably alive right now and I'm not there to raise her and guide her. I won't be there to drive horny boys away from her.

I just bore my soul to Alice Cullen. I feel exposed. I wanted to check on my fiancée and child. How is Kaitlin? One phone call wouldn't hurt, right? My grandfathers don't need to know about it, right? But first things first, I had to get that ban off Alice. I brought out my phone and texted my dad.

Dad,

Travis here. Please have the ban off Ms. Mary Alice Cullen. It was all a misunderstanding. Love you.

Travis.

Travis,

I understand and I'll have it removed. Love you too. Please come home.

Dad.

I then dialed Kaitlin's number. I desperately needed to talk to her. I pressed the call button and it started ringing and she answered after three rings.

"Travis?!" she exclaimed.

"Kaitlin." I mumbled and I heard her crying. "Don't cry, baby." I told her and she cried even harder and I just listened to her crying until she finally stopped.

"You finally called. Your voice is so much different but in a good way. Are you coming back?" she asked hopefully and it hurt me that I had to burst her hope bubble.

"No. I'm sorry."

"Don't you care about me anymore? How about our daughter?"

"I do care. I always have. Things are just complicated."

"Complicated?! That's an understatement. We need you. Sarah needs you."

"Is that her name?"

"Yes."

"Tell me more about her."

"She's a beautiful kid. She has my emerald eyes but she has the color of your hair. I think she has my height but your face." I could hear her love for our child.

"Sarah, my daughter." I liked the way the word daughter rolled off my tongue.

"Come home."

"I'll try. Not now. Please. I'm not even supposed to be talking to you."

"WHY NOT?!" she snapped.

"I told you that it's complicated. I have to go." I replied.

"Okay. Bye. I love you."

"I love you too." I hung up.

Sarah was my daughter's name. It was beautiful. I wanted to see them badly but my grandfathers will never allow me. I will never endanger them either. I love them and I'll protect me from myself. Most especially from the Volturi.

I have to admit that I have the best façade. No one saw through my playful mask. I was known as the playful, happy-go-lucky, dirty and naughty player but deep down inside I was a wreck in all aspects. I just don't like being seen as weak and helpless. That would make me a loser. I can't be a loser. I had to be strong for everyone I knew. Alice saw me in my weakest state and she didn't mock me. She gave me comfort. Somehow, she was light.

"Alice." I uttered and she was already in front of me.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Your ban is lifted. You can go shopping tomorrow. If you don't mind, I'd like to come with you. I'll stay away if you want once we get there." I told her and she smiled at me.

"You can come and I'd like your company." She replied and I beamed.

"Thanks…. Uh….. What time are we leaving?'

"Nine. You should hunt. Your eyes are red..I want to see it blue before it turns violet."

"Sure. Where can I hunt?"

"Humans?" I nodded. Animal blood repulses me. "You can go to Port Angeles or Seattle."

"Okay. Whose car can I borrow?"

"Take mine." She told me and she threw her keys and I easily caught it.

"Thanks." I said and I ran to the car which smelled a lot like Alice. It was a soothing scent. I inhaled her scent again and I drove off.

Maybe this is why God took all the people I loved away from me. Maybe I was meant to be an unloved monster.

A/N: That's chapter 14. Classes have been suspended so I was able to update. Anyway, tell me what you think.