AN: Sam's five. Dean is nine.
I Was There…The First Time…
When you were about five, you started asking questions.
Questions, questions and more questions.
Normal kid stuff.
"What does that word say Dean?"
"What do caterpillars eat Dean?"
"How do birds fly Dean?"
Just normal stuff.
You started asking the hard questions too.
I begged you to stop asking me.
But you always had to know why.
"Dean, where does dad go?"
"He's working Sammy."
"Dean why do we have to move all the time?"
"Cos of dad's job Sammy."
"Dean, how come we don't have a mum?"
I hated to talk about her.
I tried not to think about her.
It just hurt too much.
"Cos we don't that's all!" I yelled at you one day.
I just couldn't take it.
You just kept bugging me about her.
And I didn't want to talk.
Didn't want to remember.
Didn't want to think.
I stormed out of our motel room.
I stood just behind the door.
Trying to calm down.
(There was no way I was leaving you alone again.)
A few minutes later I came back inside.
You were sitting on your bed, looking down at a picture.
It was mum, one of the few dad was able to salvage from our old house.
Tears were dripping from your cheeks.
I sat down next to you.
It was then I realised that It hurt me to remember her.
But it hurt you, cos you couldn't.
"You know she's dead Sammy." I whispered.
You looked up at me, tears still spilling from your eyes.
"But why?" You sobbed. "Everyone else has a mum. Why did she leave us?"
"Sammy, she didn't want to." I told you pulling you in for a hug.
"I m-miss her." You sobbed.
I wondered if you could miss some one you never got a chance to know.
"I do too Sammy." I said trying not to cry myself.
"I wish I could talk to her." You told me.
I took your hand and we went over to one of the windows.
I dragged a chair over for you to stand on so you could see.
The stars were glistening against the night sky.
"She's up there Sammy."
"Is she watching us?" You asked wiping your eyes.
"I hope so." I answered.
And I really did.
"Can she hear us?"
"Maybe."
"I miss you Mummy." You called out into the night.
A shooting star shot across the sky as if in an answer to you.
"It's her Dean, did you see it?" You said excitedly, bouncing up and down on the seat.
"Yeah Sammy, I saw."
"It was her, wasn't it Dean?"
"Yeah Sammy, I think so."
"She is watching us." You said convinced.
And I really wished that you were right.
That she was up there some where amongst the stars.
Please review all you lovely readers.