Picture this:
You've never been the girlfriend type. Actually, you've just never been a good girlfriend. Your history is a little scattered. You had a boyfriend when you were a Freshman. Because hey, he thought you were cute, he was pretty cute, a lot of your friends had boyfriends. And sometimes, being fifth wheel when you went to the movies just wasn't fun. Having a boyfriend might be convenient. You could go to movies, have someone over for dinner, hold someone's hand.
So you went out with Ryan Decker. He was decent enough. To be honest though, that was before you really knew what you wanted. He got kind of annoying and you didn't like to call him. You never answered your phone. When you hung out, you just kind of wanted to leave to hang out with your friends. And when he kissed you? Well, you were bored. It was sloppy and his tongue was just not nice.
He eventually broke up with you after a while because you showed no interest in him. You were a crappy girlfriend. Your next step into that kind of territory was with your best friend. She had a boyfriend, but God did you love her. She made you feel better, she was softer, gentler. But she wasn't your girlfriend. She was…a kind of fling. She never got a chance to break up with her boyfriend for you.
And now you have a gorgeous brunette to feel for. And honestly, you have never felt like this with anyone. Not Ryan. Not Bethany even. Because this girl, well she just makes your mind and body mush and you're quite sure you can't get enough of her.
Do you want her to be totally yours? Of course. You don't want her to act like she does with you, with anyone else. But your past dives into girlfriend waters are making this one seem like a high jump. How do you ask? So you just say it?
Part of me wants to just write her a note that says Ashley, will you be my girlfriend? But to pull that off, one needs to be cute and adorable. I'm not sure I am those things.
"What are you going to do for Ashley's birthday?" Fora asks me as we sit in a coffee house sipping our lattes.
I shrug, but smile kind of. "I don't know. I, um, I wanna do something special for her though."
Fora grins like a seven year old on Christmas morning. "Aww. That's so sweet. Who knew Spencer would ever be a nice girl."
"Yeah, thanks." I roll my eyes at her. "And who knew my two best friends would be screwing each other."
"We have not had sex yet!" Fora yells way louder than necessary and then immediately slaps her hand over her mouth. Her eyes go wide at her own outburst. I just smirk knowingly.
"Well now." I look at her still wide eyes. "I didn't even know anything was going on, but thanks for telling me." I laugh and sip my drink.
"Whatever." Fora mumbles. "We've just made out a couple of times." She smiles at the thought and I am having a hard time actually picturing it. Not that I want to actually picture it, but you know what I mean.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask her, a bit hurt. I thought either of them would have let me know.
Fora gives me a pointed look. "It just started, I was going to. And please, Spence, like you shared everything." She raises her eyebrows to accentuate her point.
My face blushes a bit and I look away. "Call it even?"
"Deal." I shake Fora's hand and we both chuckle. "So seriously, Ashley's birthday."
"Well, I was thinking of maybe places I could bring her. Like a surprise or something."
Fora smiles softly. "I think that would be cute."
"Yeah, she's just been so…perfect. In every way." I say and look away because I feel my face and neck get hot.
Ashley's birthday is this weekend and I've been trying to think of the perfect thing to get her. I went to the mall. I went in every store. I found nothing that screamed out at me for her. I found nothing that said happy birthday, I'm pretty sure I love you but I am way too nervous to tell you yet. It's really a shame there is no t-shirt that says that. So then I thought about maybe throwing her a surprise party. But I'm selfish and decided I wanted her all to myself on her birthday. Right now I am stuck on the idea of bringing her somewhere. Not like to dinner or to a movie, but somewhere special and pretty.
There is really no way to describe the way she has been the past couple of weeks. Amazing is a good word. Phenomenal, maybe. Fucking fantastic is my personal favorite. Every time I see her, I'm in a good mood. Her smile makes me smile like a fool for the rest of the day. And when she kisses me softly, with the care I know she uses for me, I melt just a little bit more every time.
And there is no doubt in my mind that I want her. So far, we've kept it around PG-13. Never going totally too far but somehow crossing more and more lines. It's just hard, because once you kiss her, it takes super-human strength to pull away from her lips.
Plus there's the whole girlfriend thing. I'm still figuring that one out.
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Friday morning, the day of Ashley's birthday, I immediately text her and wish her a happy birthday. I am kind of bummed I won't see her until tonight, but I can deal with that. She texts me back and says thank you and that she can't wait to see me later. I grin throughout all my classes.
I meet up with Noel and Fora after school at our lockers. They are not acting different at all. Maybe a couple more playful punches. A tiny bit more flirting. But that's about it. Anyway, I really don't want to think about their foreplay.
"Did you decide what to do for her birthday?" Noel asks me as I put my book back into my messy locker.
"Yeah, you but her any toys?" Fora in an unfortunate suggestive way. I just stare at her.
"Um, no Fora. And yes, I know where I'm taking her." I smile to myself and turn back to my locker. I see Noel and Fora look at each other.
"And where would that be?" Noel asks, leaning on the locker beside me.
I slam my locker shut. "That's a surprise."
Noel rolls his eyes but Fora clicks her tongue on her teeth and a devilish smile appears on her face as she speaks. "You're taking her to Piermont."
I whip my head around to face her. "How the hell did you know that?" I ask her roughly, eyeing her up to see if she has some kind of strange mind power. That would totally put into perspective her whole weird personality thing.
Fora shrugs and drops the smug smile. "I saw you writing it in your planner in history."
Noel laughs and I punch his shoulder hard. "Douchebags." I murmur as we walk out of school.
"Piermont, huh?" Noel says when we get to his car outside. It's a nice day out and I'm hoping it will be even nicer tonight. Chilly but not freezing. "That's quite romantic."
"Maybe." I say quietly. "It's just, a nice town. And there are boats there." Fora giggles and I glare at her hard.
"Right. That's why you're bringing her." Noel says with a smirk.
Piermont is a small town right on the water. It's pretty much a picture of perfection during the day when it's sunny and at night when the stars are out. It's a bit of a drive because it's right on the border of New York and New Jersey but I think it's worth it.
"To woo her." Fora adds in.
Noel laughs. "She doesn't need to woo her, she has her already. Right Spence?"
I look between the both of them for a few second. "Stop asking me so many questions." I say gruffly and start to walk away.
"Good luck!" I hear Fora yell from behind me.
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"Hi Spencer." My mother greets me as I walk through the back door. I look it over and contemplate repainting it. It is starting to chip a bit, even though I painted it a little while ago. What is with that door?
"Hi Paula. What are you doing home?" I ask her out of pure curiosity. Because it is nice to have her here when I get home.
My mother is still wearing her work clothes, bustling about the kitchen like usual. There's something about someone doing things in a small, cozy kitchen that calms you. Ashley has the same effect when I see her in my kitchen. Except the difference between them is that my mother's domestication is happy and Ashley's domesticated habits are just plain sexy.
"Well, it's Ashley's birthday today, right? So I didn't want to her to have to watch Harley, even though I think he is in the process of making her a gift right now."
"Making her a gift?" I ask as I out my bag down and grab a stool. My mother puts some new apples, oranges, and pears in the bowl on the counter. I pick through them.
"Yeah." She chuckles and shakes her head. "He brought up a whole box of macaroni and some glue."
"What a weirdo." I laugh as I start to peel an orange.
Paula nods and sits down across from me and opens the newspaper. "Did you get her anything?"
I shrug. "Not really, I think we're going to hang out later." I say and glance at my mother. Her eyes are watching mine curiously. As far as I know, she doesn't know about me and Ashley. Not that I'm keeping it a secret, it has just never come up. Unless my mother asking are you being nice to Ashley? counts as it coming up. I always say yes, of course. Because well, I am being nice to her.
"That sounds nice." She says with a smile, flipping to the Local section. "You two seem to be getting along nicely."
I nod. "We definitely are. I like Ashley a lot."
My mother nods absentmindedly. "Good."
"No." I say a little bit more seriously, and her head looks up at me. Blue eyes meeting blue eyes. "I really like her, mom."
We have some kind of weird staring contest for about ten seconds. My mother's expression doesn't change except for the slight smile appearing on her face. "I think she really likes you too, Spence." And she smiles at me knowingly, before going back to reading the paper.
I hear footsteps running at a dangerously fast pace down the stairs and then Harley is right next to me with dried glue all over his hands a large piece of construction paper folded in half. "What do you think?" He asks giddily. He's literally hopping up and down.
I take, what I am assuming is a card into my hands and look it over. The front is a large heart outlined in pieces of pasta. Happy Birthday! is scribbled inside the heart with a smiley face in the corner. Inside, it says the same exact thing. There is also a short little note that I don't get to read because Harley snatches it out of my hands.
"That's private." He says seriously.
"It looks great, Har." I tell him, choking back a laugh. I just smile at him and return to eating my orange.
"Ashley is coming over later, right?" Harley places the card down delicately on the counter and goes to wash his hands off.
"Yep." My mother assures him.
He's all smiles. "You better get her something good, Spencer." He gives me a once over. "She likes you a lot. For some reason."
"Thanks." I say dryly and roll my eyes.
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Later, as I am upstairs getting ready, I hear my mother and Harley greet Ashley at the door. Their voices are mumbled, but I mostly hear Harley continuously talking over my mother in a very high pitched tone. I grab my keys and head downstairs.
Harley, Ashley, and my mother are in the kitchen and I see that she is reading the wonderful birthday card my brother made for her. I stand in the doorway, leaning against the molding, as I watch Ashley chuckle and thank Harley with a large hug. He looks like his blue eyes are about to pop out of his small head.
"Hey." I say and see her and my mother turn around to look at me. Ashley smiles wider than I've seen her in a while as her chocolate eyes meet mine. And in that moment I really want to kiss her in front of my mother and Harley.
I settle for a very warm hug and I kiss her softly on the cheek. "Happy Birthday Ash."
"Thank you." She says quietly.
We are interrupted by my mother rustling around some kind of package. "Here! Happy Birthday sweetie."
I had no idea Paula got Ashley a present. To be honest, I'm kind of scared to find out what it is.
Ashley takes apart to flawless wrapping paper delicately and opens a small box with a card inside. She reads the card first and her smile widens. But her eyes get jut a little bit watery, and I am confused as to why my mother would want to make Ashley cry on her birthday. When she looks up, Ashley goes to give my mother a hug.
"Thank you Mrs. Carlin." She whispers.
"I mean every word." My mother answers with a smile on her face. Her eyes meet mine and she winks. My mother just winked at me.
Ashley opens the rest of the present to find that my mother has bought her a necklace that is actually very cute. After all the thank you's and Happy Birthday's, Ashley and I head out.
"Have fun girls. Don't be too late. Oh, and be careful!" Paula yells as we head to the door.
I laugh. "Alright Paula."
"Bye buddy, thanks for the card." Ashley smiles at Harley and kisses his cheek fondly as we walk outside.
When we get inside the car I turn in the drivers seat to face Ashley. "Happy Birthday." I tell her again, but more quietly.
"Thanks Spence." She says shyly. Then her hand comes out to cup my face. I meet her half way in a very soft and gentle kiss. One I so badly want to deepen. I pull her closer by bunching up part of her sweater in my fist.
We pull away, both breathless. "So seriously, where are we going?" She asks with her eyebrow lifted.
"Can't tell you." I laugh out as I put the car into drive and head down the street.
It takes us about forty minutes to get there. My hand is intertwined with Ashley's the entire time we're in the car. We just talk randomly, but I like the easy silence with her soft hand in mine the best. Even though it makes it tougher to drive with just my left hand, it's definitely worth it.
When we get to the small town on the river, the sun is just starting to go down. So it's still light out, with pink and yellow in the sky. Ashley is looking out the window curiously when I park it safely.
"Come on." I tell her and get out of the car.
"Where are we?" Ashley asks me as she takes my hand. Her eyes are wide, looking round at the small houses, cute shops, the water out to the side, the dock lined with small boats.
I pull her hand over to where you can see the calm river. "Piermont." I point across the Hudson River. "That's New York."
Ashley just stares out into the water and the breeze blows her curls around her face. She pushes some behind her ear. "Wow. It's so nice here."
I nod. "The first time I ever came here I thought it was the coolest place. It's so calm and simple. I-" I meet Ashley's large brown eyes and I see her watching me intently. "I wanted to share it with you." I end quietly, giving her a small smile.
Ashley's beautiful lips form into a heart-melting smile. And then her arms are around me, her head in the space where my neck and shoulder meet. I feel a delicate kiss placed on my skin there and I shiver a tiny bit. Her lips trail their way up my neck so slowly and by the time she gets to my mouth my eyes are closed. "Thank you." She whispers to my lips before she meets them with her own.
We end with our foreheads pressed together and I only speak after I have memorized every part of her eyes. "Let's walk around." I take her hand in mine and walk towards the center of the town.
We spend about an hour looking around. Exploring the small town, finding abandoned houses and barns on the road. By the time we get back to where the pier is, the sun has set and there are a bunch of stars out. Exactly what I had hoped for.
With Ashley's hand in my own, I walk her down the pier past many, many boats. The water looks dark, but it's calm. And I'm happy for that, because when we get to the end I sit down on the edge of the pier and tug Ashley's hand to do the same.
"What do you think?" I ask her as I look up into the sky.
I sense Ashley turn her head and her eyes trace over my face. "I love it." She answers sincerely. I meet her eyes and she smiles. I am thankful for the darkness, even though I'm sure in the glow of the bright moon you can see my blush from across the river. "This was probably the best birthday I have ever had."
"You must have had some shitty birthdays before." I chuckle. I receive a hit to the shoulder for my comment.
"Seriously." Ashley says, after she has stopped laughing. "I mean it."
I look at her watching the sky. Her neck outstretched. I lean over slightly and press my lips to the side of her neck and I hear Ashley's breathing hitch just a small amount. "Good." I mumble as I bring my mouth to her cheek.
The moon is nothing short of amazing as it makes the girl sitting beside my practically glow. "You look so pretty right now." I whisper to her.
Her eyes meet mine and she doesn't say anything, just kisses me. It's more forceful than the kiss in the car and the one when we first got here. I've needed it for about an hour and it's perfect. I steady myself by letting my hand fall on her thigh, rubbing it softly. I feel Ashley's hand come around my neck, massaging the back of it while pulling me closer.
When my tongue meets hers, her soft moan goes right through me. Even though I have to breathe, I leave my lips on the side of her mouth and I bite her bottom lip gently when I regain breathing. I feel Ashley smile and that makes my lips mimic hers. So I let my head fall gently into her neck. She smells all sweet like honey. With her hand in my hair, I could fall asleep just like this. The thumping of her heart against mine could lull me to bed.
When I do pull myself away from her, I see her eyes are closed. They open a little bit and she smiles at me. "So we're not going in a boat?"
I laugh genuinely at her randomness and shake my head. "Boats scare me." I tell her seriously.
Ashley chuckles, grabbing my hand. She runs her fingers through mine repeatedly and looks once again at the stars.
"Ash?"
"Hmmm?" She keeps her eyes on the sky.
"I- I want to tell you something." I say seriously. This grabs her attention, she meets her chocolate eyes to mine and she looks a little worried. "But, I don't want to scare you."
"Spence, you can tell me anything." She says gently.
I nod, because I know that. I duck my head down but bring it right back up to meet her eyes. I mean, if you're gunna do it, then do it all the way, right?
"I love you." I say gently. It comes out kind of cracked. But the second I say it I cannot believe how incredibly true it really is. My hearty gets all fluttery and I bite my lip while Ashley just stares at me.
Her face soon breaks out into a grin. "Spencer."
"Ashley." I say with a light laugh.
"I love you too. I have for a while."
The butterflies that were making my heart all fluttery are now thrashing intensely and they have multiplied by a hundred. Ashley leans over to kiss me, saying the same exact words I just said but in a different way.
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