Somehow these chapters keep getting longer and longer, and I have no idea why that is, but I'm hoping you guys think it's a good thing. I'd just like to address a few reviews.
Ryoko05:I know what Santana did was incredibly rude, but I hope this chapter will address some of her motives and make it seem a little more forgivable.
Gen58: I'm sort of moving slow with the Sugar and Santana part of the storyline, I think it'll be a unique approach and something that isn't obvious in the slightest.
Enjoy.
Santana's POV
"You what?" I asked slowly. She ran her fingers through her hair and looked at the floor where I'd discarded the check that I'd just torn to pieces only a few moments ago. "Y-you quit?"
"Well you told me to, you have me the courage to follow my dreams, and you just…you ripped up the check and now I-."
"I'm sorry. God I'm such a fucking idiot…I'm sorry." I said utterly ashamed of my actions. Why did I always do this? I was overbearing, I was always trying to control everyone. It's because of my position in the army or maybe because I was a cop, and I was always trying to fix everything. I couldn't save the world, I learned that in Afghanistan. I couldn't save this city, I learned that on my first day in New York. And I couldn't save Quinn, I knew that now. "I do this thing where I make everyone around me my project, trying to make things perfect…I just didn't want him to have any control over you."
"He doesn't have any control over me." She assured me. "But the money is for Beth-."
"How much was it?" I asked pulling out my wallet.
"You're not paying for this." She said snatching my wallet out of my hands. "Like you said, I don't need anyone controlling me, protecting me, or paying for me. What happened, happened, and I can deal with it." Quinn assured me. "It's was kind of valiant in an incredibly stupid I sort of want to smack you kind of way." She held my face in her hands and kissed my cheek a moment later.
"You aren't mad at me?" I asked.
"No of course not." We both heard the door open and a cheerful Beth and Brittany coming in. Before I got the chance to apologize further Beth had latched herself onto my leg and started yelling something about ice cream. "She practically thinks you're a superstar. So much so that she doesn't even say hi to her own mom." Quinn said. Beth rushed over to her mom and gave her a big hug, as if trying not to disappoint her.
"I love you mommy." Beth said looking up at Quinn who bent down and lifted up her little girl.
"Hey Santana will you help me get something out of the car?" Brittany asked. I nodded and followed her outside, towards the trunk of her car. When she opened it and nothing was inside I gave her a curious glance, she took a seat on the ledge of the trunk and patted the spot next to her. I took a seat too.
"Is there something wrong?" I asked curiously.
"Promise me you won't hurt her." Brittany said suddenly. I could see that she was flustered and emotional, and I wanted to hug her or tell her it was okay, but I just sat there looking at her. "Promise me." She repeated.
"I promise." I told her.
"Puck hurt her, and I know you don't get it, I know that you wouldn't be able to understand…because you weren't there. She was a mess, she didn't know if she'd be able to finish school or even get a job. And he hurt her, badly, and if you do something like that to her then I'll…I won't ever let you near her again." I was surprised by Brittany's words. She was usually so quiet and sweet, so getting a threat from her meant something. I learned from work that I shouldn't take threats lightly, I guess I learned that overseas too.
"I wouldn't dream of hurting her, I'm not in this for any other reason than to be with her. She's wonderful, Beth is amazing, it's just…I don't need a reason when it comes to them." Brittany's smile grew and she wrapped her arms around me, I held onto her because I knew where she was coming from. I'd been in her footsteps before. I'd showed Sugar's dates my gun, I'd threatened them in the hallways of clubs, and I'd protected her without her even knowing it.
I respected Brittany, and I understood her.
"Santana!" Quinn shouted from the front steps. "Beth says she wants ice cream but she'll only go if you take her." Quinn said with a laugh. She spun around and said something to Beth. "Sorry, she says I have to call you Santa." Quinn rolled her eyes but smiled anyway.
"Oh ice cream, that sounds yummy." I said just loud enough for Beth to hear. She pushed past Quinn and ran outside towards me. I will never understand Beth infatuation with me.
…
"What kind of ice cream do you want Beth?" I asked as she held onto my hand. "I'm getting rocky road." I told her.
"I want rocky road too!" Beth exclaimed. I smiled. This girl was an angel. "I want that seat over there." She said pointing to a cozy couch that was placed near a window that was partially opened to the bustling streets of the city.
"We can sit wherever you want, but first, if I let you get two scoops you have to promise not to tell your mom." I held out my pinky and Beth took it, crossing over her heart and telling me that she would never tell Quinn that she got a double scoop.
I paid for the ice cream and took both our cones over to the couch, grabbing a few extra napkins for Beth on the way. We sat down side by side and I handed Beth her cone warning her not to make a mess because Quinn had already done enough washing today.
"So Beth, I saw your dad today." I didn't know how to approach the subject. I wanted to know how Beth felt about her father, I knew how Quinn felt, but I needed to keep my emotions in check when he's around because I don't know how Beth feels about him. It's not really my place to get in the middle of this family, Puck is still Beth's father no matter what.
"Hmm, was he nice to you?" Beth asked. I laughed because, really, what kind of 3 year old would ask something like that?
"Do you like him?"
"I don't really see him. Mommy says that I have a lot of fathers, like Sammy and Kurt and Blaine." I nodded my head in understanding while licking some of my ice cream off the side of my cone.
"So do you enjoy hanging out with Rachel?" Now I was just curious about what Beth had to say about Quinn's friends. I had my impressions, but the impressions of a child were always so honest.
"She talks a lot, but she let's me play on the stage when she's done practicing." Beth said with a smile. "If you're a cop why don't you have a gun?" Beth asked.
"I never bring my gun when I'm off duty or around you because I want to make sure you're safe." I explained to her. She nodded like she took everything I said as law.
"What do you think of me?" I asked her. It was stupid to even ask, she was 3, what was she going to say? I just knew that Beth was the most important person in Quinn's life, and I needed her honest opinion of me to make sure I was presenting myself right.
"I think you're cool." Beth said. "And you make mommy happy." She added shyly.
"Yea she makes me happy too." I said quietly.
"Were you sad before Santa?"
"Yea." I told her honestly. "I think I was." I didn't really know, after I came back I felt numb, but that didn't mean sad. It just meant I was afraid to face a lot.
I still am.
I hated thinking too much about anything, especially in this moment. I'd been so focused on things that happened in my past that I didn't notice the ice cream dripping from my cone. I looked down at my shirt and frowned. Leave it to me to be the messy eater.
"Santa! You spilled!" Beth exclaimed for the entire ice cream parlor to hear.
"Yes ma'am I do believe I did. Let's head back to your house, maybe I can get cleaned up there."
…...
Quinn's POV
They were already barging into my house before I could stop them, and it wasn't until Blaine mentioned something about a soccer game that I realized why Sam and Rachel were wearing opposing jerseys and sitting on opposite sides of the couch. Brittany of course sat in the middle and ate most of the food while Rachel was the loudest.
Blaine was never really that into soccer, but Kurt was and I guess that's why he went to Manchester last summer just so he could see a game, that was love.
"Where's my Betty-Boo?" Blaine asked me.
"Getting ice cream with Santana." I told him.
"You look…what's wrong Quinn? Something's up, you did that cute little nose twitch so I know something is up." How on earth was he able to read me that well. He might have been a friend since high school, but he had always been sort of on the outskirts of our group, up until he and Kurt started dating their sophomore year in college.
"Do you promise not to tell anyone?" I asked him.
"Of course, you can trust me, you know that." He placed his hand on top of mine and gave me a half smile.
"I quit my job." I told him, his eyes went wide. "I know, I know it's crazy and so…so-."
"So awesome!" Blaine said with a smile. "And so not something I would expect from you. I mean, no offense, Quinn you can be sort of a perfectionist at times, but when you're impulsive and passionate, you're a different person, better even." I didn't feel better. I felt terrified.
"What if I fail?"
"Quinn Fabray, single mother of one, failing? I don't think so." Blaine said with as much sass as Kurt normally brings to the table.
"I've got more to lose than just my dignity, trust me I could deal if it was just that, but I have to pay for groceries, Beth's preschool, and this house. I'm nervous."
"We could-." I could tell he was about to offer to help, financially at least.
"I'm no one's charity case." I warned him. "I can handle it…I'm just saying that if I go crazy and end up in my very own real life version of Girl, Interrupted I'm going to need you all to raise Beth and make her into the next Hilary Clinton…or Maya Angelou, I'd settle for either."
"And people say Kurt is dramatic." Blaine said with a playful nudge. "I'm proud of you anyway, I mean focusing on art is something you've always wanted to do."
"If my dad knew about this he'd freak out." I said. "I don't really know how my mom would feel."
"Feel about what?" Kurt asked walking in and grabbing the bottle of wine that Santana had given me out of the refrigerator. He was always so casual when he was stealing stuff from me.
"About penguins and global warming." Blaine lied.
"Oh I see, you two have secrets now. Well you better not have told her about what you swore not to talk about."
"Oh come on why would I tell Quinn that?" Blaine questioned.
"I dunno, maybe she's had experience where there was a penis bitten and blood involved." I stood up slowly and uncomfortably.
"I'm now going to give up eating…forever." I said as I exited the kitchen, figuring that I needed to let Kurt and Blaine talk things over first. I plopped down on the couch between Sam and Brittany, because I figured if I sat next to Rachel then she'd probably end up screaming in my ear, or accidently punching me in the face because she has never learned to control her excitement. "I'm exhausted." I said before yawning and cuddling up next to Brittany.
"From what?" Rachel asked with an arched eyebrow. "I thought you stayed home today and Beth was out with Brittany…" She paused and walked over to the kitchen looking in the room and then spun on her heels to look at me. "Who fixed your stove?" She asked almost like this was some sort of interrogation.
"Inspector Gadget." I muttered and Rachel smiled and Brittany looked me dead in the eyes from just a few inches away.
"Aww." Brittany exclaimed.
"Aww indeed." Rachel replied.
"I don't get it. Aww, what?" Sam interjected.
"What the hell are we aww-ing about?" Kurt asked as he and Blaine finally joined us in the room. "Hon, do you know what we're aww-ing about?" He asked Blaine who only shrugged.
"I have no freakin clue so if someone wants to tell me, that'd be nice." I said waiting for a response.
"Santana fixed Quinn's stove." Brittany said with wide eyes. "How romantic!" She said dramatically putting her hand over her heart.
"So what'd she want in return?" Rachel asked, everyone looked at her, but I glared.
"Why does everything have to be about sex with you?" I questioned with a frustrated sigh.
"Because everything is about sex." Rachel said with a shrug. I knew what this was, and I appreciated it on a deeper level, but on the surface, I was pissed. Why didn't Rachel trust me with my own choices, it was like she wasn't even trusting me with my own emotions. It was unfair and I sort of wanted to smack her for it, but I also really needed it. She was right, I didn't want to get hurt like I did with Puck.
"Santana isn't Puck." I assured her. "She's sweet and caring and I don't need you to think you have to protect my heart."
"Quinn she didn't mean to-." Blaine started but I held up my hand to stop him.
"I know what she meant, but this is my personal life and if I want to have sex with Santana I will, and if I don't I won't. I don't need you shaming me or praising me for either choice." I knew what this was, it wasn't about what Rachel had said, it wasn't even about this moment. I'd learned about projection in my 11th grade psychology class and I knew that was the real issue. The way my father treated me about sleeping with Puck was something I probably never will get over, but there was so much guilt and shame placed on me that I never want to feel like that again. Especially if the guilt comes from expressing my admiration for someone else. It's my body and I can do what I want with it.
There was so much tension in the room and I really didn't want to be there anymore, especially with Rachel looking at me with those big doe eyes of hers.
The doorbell rang and I went to open it, Beth was in Santana's arms and Santana had a chocolate stain on the front of her shirt. "I spilled." She said with a light chuckle. "And this one is exhausted." Santana said and I could see that Beth was fast asleep as she walked inside. The soccer game was still on and Santana raised her finger to her lips to warn my friends not to yell as she told me she would put Beth to sleep before she came back out here.
I sat back down on the couch and waited patiently for her, I knew that Rachel had created some tension, but I wasn't sure if Santana could tell or not. Luckily it didn't take long for her to come back out and I could tell that she'd probably went to the bathroom and tried to get out the stain herself with no avail. "I should head back home." She said before glancing at the screen.
"No, come on stay." Sam pleaded.
"I would really love to stay and see Barcelona win-." Sam jumped up and gave Santana a high five while Rachel crossed her arms over her chest with a loud humf . "But I have to get up early tomorrow." I stood up and wrapped my arms around her neck.
"You sure?" I asked.
"Yeah." She leaned down and I thought she was going to kiss me, but instead she gave me a quick kiss on my forehead. I pouted and looked up at her. "Sorry, but your friends are looking at me like they're going to stone me to death." She whispered. I grabbed the front of her shirt and lead her over to the front door, out of the purview of my friends. "Did I walk into the something or what?"
"No, don't worry about it." I told her. "Call me tomorrow so we can figure out where we should eat." She nodded her head and leaned down to kiss me, this time on the lips. I felt her hands on my shoulders, my back, and then my backside. Of course. I giggled and pulled away. "What is your deal with my butt?" I asked playfully poking her stomach.
"Sorry next time I'll handcuff my hands behind my back." Santana said.
"Can I handcuff them myself?" I questioned flirtatiously.
"That's kinda kinky." She said with a smile.
"We can hear you!" Kurt shouted. Our eyes went wide and we scrambled to get out of the house so we could burst out into laughter outside.
"I'll be more careful next time." She said as she unlocked her door.
"You should be careful all the time." I reminded her before kissing her cheek and waiting until her car was all the way down the street. I returned to my house and just before I was about to go to the kitchen to grab an apple as a late snack, Brittany stopped me.
"Hey what's that in your back pocket?" She asked, and I reached into my left back pocket to check but nothing was there. "No your right." I reached back and pulled out a check with a sticky note attached to it. I looked at the note, which read:
You're not my charity case
I'm not even trying to protect you
But this time I owe you one
And I know I made a mistake earlier
But don't hold that against me
I'm replacing what I took from you
I stared blankly at the check; it had the same amount that Puck had given me earlier today. Santana had given me the money without even making me feel patronized or like a child. This was amazing, she was amazing, and this was something that I would never forget.
Thank you for reading, tell me what you think.