"Hotch," Reid's voice breathed into the cell phone, sounding anxious but relieved. "Can you – can you come?"
Hotch immediately grew concerned and moved to put on his coat. "I'm on my way. Can you tell me what's wrong?"
"I'm.. I ha.. He.." Reid apparently couldn't decide what to say, increasing Hotch's worry. Hotch was in his car now. "You have my key," Reid said finally.
"I'll be there in twenty minutes," Hotch promised. "You're at your apartment, right?"
"Yeah?" Reid's breath speed increased. Then the phone shut off.
Hotch hit the gas pedal and sped to Reid's apartment, arriving there in thirteen minutes.. never mind that it was a twenty minute drive.
He held his hand on his gun as he entered the apartment. Reid was sitting in the corner of his living room, hands behind his back, eyes closed, hyperventilating. Hotch knelt beside him. "Reid?"
Frightened eyes opened. "H-hotch?" he gasped.
Hotch laid a hand on Reid's knee. "I'm here. Are you alright?" he asked gently.
"Can't get them off," Reid said. He moved his shoulders and arms. "Can't – urgh!" Reid moved forward fast. The sound of metal clashing sounded.
Oh.
Reid was cuffed to the radiator and was tugging at the handcuffs, obviously trying to break free. "Reid, is there someone else in your apartment?" Hotch was pretty sure the answer would be no, but asked anyway.
"Just you 'n me," Reid said.
Hotch nodded. "Are these your own cuffs?" They were standard issue handcuffs, and Hotch thought they were Reid's – Reid's had a distinguished scratch next to the lock, just as Hotch's had one next to the chain and Morgan's had a few on the rotating arms.
Reid blinked and nodded.
"Reid, calm down," Hotch said softly. "Breathe in .. and out.. In.. out.. There you go. In.. Out.."
After two minutes or so, Reid's breathing calmed. Hotch nodded approvingly.
"Where is the key?" Hotch asked.
Reid blinked again and tugged at the cuffs. "Fell," Reid said. "Under the.." Reid, again, tugged futilely. "Thingy. Radiat.." Reid's voice trailed off.
"Alright. I'm going to look for them. You just breathe calmly, okay?" Hotch stated. He kept a hand on Reid's knee, hoping it would prevent him from panicking.
He found the key easily enough and unlocked Reid. "Easy," he said. Reid sighed in relief as he was freed and immediately moved his arms to the front of his body, hugging himself.
Hotch waited for Reid to get his composure back. "Can you stand?" he asked after a few minutes.
"I.. think so," Reid said after a moment. Hotch moved to his feet and extended a hand. Reid took it and stood, a little wobbly.
"Let's sit down," Hotch said, checking Reid for injuries as they went to the couch.
As Reid sat, Hotch thought for a moment. "Can I get you something? A glass of water, perhaps?" Reid's lips were dry, he probably hadn't drunk anything in a few hours.
Reid nodded. "Please."
Hotch returned with two glasses of water and handed one to Reid, placing the other on the coffee table. He then also sat down on the couch. Reid sipped slowly from his glass.
"What happened?" Hotch asked eventually.
Reid set down his glass and hugged his knees, which he had pulled on the couch. "I can't.. Georgia.." Reid shuddered. "I'm not gonna talk about it."
"Okay," Hotch agreed mildly.
Reid nodded sharply, although it appeared to be more to clear his head than to acknowledge what Hotch had said.
After a while, he spoke. "I couldn't handle pressure on my wrist, afterwards," Reid said. "Not even – not even cloth. Like – sleeve cuffs."
Hotch nodded. He suspected he knew where this was going.
"So I started.. training," Reid said softly. He let out a dry laugh that was more like a sob than anything else. "It didn't go so well today."
Hotch hesitantly reached out his hand. Reid took it, apparently drawing strength from it.
"I can't – have them behind me," Reid whispered. "But I want to.. just want it to be over." He clutched Hotch's hand closer to his chest. Hotch moved closer to Reid, if only to prevent Reid from moving his arm into an uncomfortable position. "Forget."
Hotch didn't reply, just squeezed Reid's hand softly.
"Gideon.. Gideon said it was okay to struggle," Reid nearly gasped, upset. "As if I need his fucking permission."
Hotch was surprised by the bitterness in Reid's voice, but if Gideon had said that.. "He said that?" Hotch asked, a little angrily.
Reid didn't move. "Yeah," he said. "Wonder why I called you?" He said in an empty voice.
Now that Hotch thought about it, that wasn't what he would expect. "Now that I think about it, it's rather unexpected."
Reid shrugged and glanced at Hotch, then looking away and dropping Hotch's hand. Hotch didn't retract it, though, keeping it available.
Reid picked up his glass and stared into it, sipping now and then.
"How were you planning to get your cuffs open?" Hotch asked, curious. The question was neutral enough – not asking about emotions – to distract Reid.
"I taped the lock to the radiator," Reid said. "But I.. panicked, moved and it fell."
Hotch nodded, sipping his own glass of water. Reid appeared calm enough for the next question.
"What now?"
Reid blinked. "What d'ya mean? You're not ordering me another psych eval, are you?"
"I'm not," Hotch assured him quickly. "I'm here as your friend, not as your boss. What I mean is, are you calling me again next week? I'm glad you called me, but I'd rather not have you in distress."
Reid ducked his head and didn't answer.
After a few moments, when it was clear Reid wasn't going to say something, Hotch reached out to move Reid's chin into a position where they could look at each other. "How about next time you call me before you try something, and I'll tie you up?"
Reid moved his head away. "Hotch, you don't have to.."
"Spencer, you're my friend," Hotch said sincerely. "I don't want you to be in distress, or at least, not alone and in distress. If I can do something to prevent that, I'll do so gladly."
"Alright," Reid said, hesitating and unsure.
INSERT LINE
The next Saturday, Hotch went to Reid's apartment at two, wearing semi-casual clothes.. a dress shirt, but no suit jacket and no tie. Over the week, he'd researched some safety measures regarding bondage, mostly. Something that just about every book and website stressed was the necessity of a safe word, so he planned to install that.
Reid was nervous, but let Hotch in and offered him coffee. Hotch accepted.
"How do you want to do this?" Reid asked, nervously.
"I think you should pick a safe word," Hotch said mildly. "I'll unbind you immediately if you use it."
"Uh.. Quantico," Reid said.
Hotch nodded, registering that to his memory. "Where do you want to do this?"
Reid blinked. "Not on a kitchen chair," he said slowly. "Not on the couch, either, because that wouldn't be real."
Hotch ran through the places in Reid's apartment in his mind. "That would leave the ground or your bed, I suppose. Preference?"
"Ground," Reid said quickly. Hotch had expected that, because binding someone in the bedroom hinted at something else.
Hotch finished his coffee. "Come on, then."
After surveying Reid's living room, he decided to bind Reid to the coffee table. The radiator didn't seem such a good idea after the last time.
Both sat on the ground, Reid with his arms behind him. When Reid started to get antsy, Hotch decided to distract him. "What inspired the Pirates of Penzance?" It was the first thing he thought of.
Reid blinked, looked at Hotch, and started talking.
An unforeseen consequence of this, though, was that while talking, Reid usually moved his hands.. a lot.
After a few minutes, during which Hotch asked Reid next to anything about the play, Reid's breathing grew erratic and he stopped talking. Hotch laid a hand on Reid's knee. "You alright?"
Reid nodded sharply, but it didn't convince either of them.
Hotch didn't remove his hand from Reid's knee, not until a few minutes later, when Reid whispered "Quantico". Then he quickly uncuffed Reid, who didn't seem to register a lot.
Hotch brought Reid's hands back to his – Reid's – front and started to massage his wrists, which had red lines around them. That appeared to bring Reid back to reality, because after ninety seconds or so, he snagged his wrists back. Hotch nodded to the couch, and Reid stood shakily and sat down, as did Hotch.
Hotch handed Reid a glass of water, which he sipped gratefully. As he set it down, he shuddered. "That was.." He trailed off.
"Awful, but it could've been worse?" Hotch supplied.
"Yeah. That," Reid said.
Hotch nodded. "I think you did a good job."
"Do you think so?" Reid didn't appear to believe him.
"I do," Hotch said, making eye contact. "You didn't go so far past your boundaries that you lost yourself, and I think that's good. Does the metal of the handcuffs bother you?"
"What do you mean?" Reid asked, confused.
"The material," Hotch said. "Because if the issue is both being restrained and the feel and sound of metal, I can just as easily bind you with something else. A belt, rope, flexicuffs.. even a tie should work."
Reid nodded slowly, again apparently glad for the distraction. "A tie would be inappropriate.. and a belt wouldn't ease anything. Rope should work."
Hotch agreed with the tie comment.
After Reid had emptied his glass of water, he looked indecisive for a few moments, then started talking. "Would you mind if I take fifteen minutes for myself, and then we try again?" he asked, hesitating.
"Of course not," Hotch said. "Take as long as you need."
Reid nodded and stood. "There's a coffee maker in the kitchen." He then disappeared to what Hotch suspected was his bedroom.
Reid returned after exactly fifteen minutes. Hotch was reading one of Reid's magazines, but looked up when he heard Reid come in. He studied Reid carefully, noting he was composed and calm, although nervous. He wasn't anxious or scared, though. That was good. He was also determined.
"Rope or cuffs?" Hotch asked after Reid had sat down.
Reid blinked. "I don't think I have a suitable rope."
Hotch held up some. "I brought some. I wasn't sure what you had in mind when I came here. This stuff shouldn't give you too much of a rope burn."
Reid nodded, a little thrown off track. "Rope, then?" He shivered.
Hotch looked at him with concern, but nodded. "Go sit down if you're ready," he offered, making it clear that he'd wait as long as needed.
Reid took a minute before sitting down, his back against the coffee table. Hotch sat down next to him. "Ready?"
Reid closed his eyes, leaned back and nodded.
Hotch took care with the knots, making sure they were not so tight they would cut off circulation, but not so loose they would fall off, either. As it was, Reid would probably be able to get out of them if he tried, but not easily.
This time Hotch questioned Reid on different interpretations of the Fifth Amendment.. then some articles from the USA PATRIOT Act.
After ten minutes or so, Reid stopped talking. He appeared to be forcing himself to calm down by not doing anything he didn't have to do.