Comments –

I can't freaking remember if Gaignun was elsewhere during the dive! Oh my, who cares? I've fiddled with the storyline enough throughout the last few chapters (last time I remembered, Gaignun wasn't in love with a Realian that was … o … *thinks* … about eight years younger then him). Ahem, yeah anyhow. This chapter really is going to suck guys, I rush through chapters 13 and 14, only because of my hatred for those numbers (yeah, the author of this story is a complete freak). Anyhoo, thank you guys so much for the reviews! It means so much to me that you're enjoying this story so much. I'll try to keep the standards as high as I can per chapter. I'd also like to apologize for the fact my chapters are slowly getting shorter, and shorter as they go on. I'm trying to add as much detail into chapters as I can, thus lowering the length. If anyone minds just say and I'll try to make them longer (I prefer shorter chapters to be honest, but I'm not the reader of this story XD). Thanks for taking time to read it, and a bigger thanks if you review =) And don't worry – Albedoness is coming up in chapter 15 (WHOOP). The fun part... XD I hate all this lovey dovey stuff. It's quite boring and frankly, I can't write it. Chapter Fifteen will definatly be better, where I can write what I'm comfortable with so just hang in there guys XD

Xxx Sweet Sedaytion xxX

| Chapter [Fourteen] |

What I Need

Chaos' hands were quickly moved onto her shoulders, hoping this soft touch would someone calm her down, or maybe tear her from whatever thoughts she would be having. Depise, hatred or regret could be lingering around in her mind: or perhaps all three, mixed in with some other emotions. Whatever would be inside her mind, he couldn't even begin to contemplate how … confusing it must have been for the girl. One day she had thought herself as a Realian, with nothing in her life to look foreword, with nothing to look back at. Once it had all been simple for the young woman: as simple as A B C, but now. Now everything was muddled up, all she had known what not really her reality. And worst of all she had killed her own father for no real means as far as they knew. Though he had held a gun to her, threatening to kill her, there was something in his eyes both chaos and Faith had picked up on: he was not going to pull the trigger. But the younger Faith, blind to the emotion, reacted too quickly: too impulsively to maintain a good level headedness, resulting in his murder. And now there was someone else being pulled into the catastrophe, and God knew who this person would be. Chaos hesitated to watch, wondering whether the next person entering the room would fall victim to Faith's temper, to be murdered by her o-so strange powers he had just seen.

Faiths skin shivered under his touch, the warmth of his gloved hands could be felt underneath her thin gloves. This time she didn't try to pull away from the touch, though she wished someone kind hearted like chaos wasn't touching her. A murderer: she was a murderer. But it didn't make sense. Though she saw it, she saw herself kill someone, she couldn't remember it. Perhaps the girl sitting on the bed wasn't really her. That little bit of hope was clung tightly onto by Faith: her eyes glistened with it, praying and praying the blond headed, blood drenched girl on the bed wasn't her. Though she knew she had those darkened thoughts, about wanting to emotionally harm Gaignun, never had she thought about murder. Never had she thought about rudely taking away someone's life. And as she thought harder about it, she began to feel disgusted by herself. What right did she have for taking the life of someone else?! She wasn't The Grim Reaper, she didn't have the damn right! Ugh, just thinking about it made her stomach knot up, the anger pumping through her veins as she wanted to lash out at the blond headed bitch that sat contently on the bed, happy to be drenched in blood.

"It's a good sight," Faith couldn't help but muster under her breath. She gritted her teeth. "But one should not kill. She …" her chest clenched as she paused, her hands turning into such tight fists her knuckles turned white. "I shouldn't have killed. It's wrong, it's sick!" her voice began to get louder, grabbing the slightly shocked attention of chaos, who watched her with wide eyes. "It's Goddamn fucking sick!!"

Faith raised her left arm then swung in down fiercely in pure rage. "Faith!"

Her body froze, trembling as she heard his voice. No, she couldn't bear it – Gaignun had watched through the screen in the real world. He had witnessed the murder she had committed years and years ago, whilst being a beautiful blonde headed human. Faith couldn't entirely understand the circumstances, not knowing why the young version of herself had killed, why she had those strange powers or even why her hair was blond, though Faith knew all too well her natural shade was the unusual pink with beautiful ruby red highlights running through. Being defensive, and not thinking properly Faith hissed cruel words to him, not knowing what she was saying until she had said it. "You killed a man too. You were just as cruel as me, so don't even begin to feel pity or think that you are better."

"Faith … I …" Gaignun's voice was quiet, unable to create words. She could hear the hurt in his tone, and she immediately felt a tang of guilt. Her head hung as she looked down to the floor. His terrified face came back into her head: Gaignun was much better a person then Faith was. Faith had just killed her Father on impulse; Gaignun had reasons: she could see it in his eyes. She had no idea what these reasons were, but they were good.

"I'm so sorry …" she whispered, hating herself. "I was … rude. More then rude. I should never have said that about you, Gaignun. You … the old you had reasons. Oh God … I'm such a terrible person. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry … sorry, sorry, sorry …"

Chaos looked at her, his expression soft. The scene in the background seemed to have stopped playing, the younger Faith that had been sat on the bed had disappeared; the memory ending. Knowing Gaignun would've wished to do it, and because of chaos' kind nature, he took a step towards Faith, whose head was still hung. He wrapped his arms gently around his slim, fragile body, pulling her close to him. Faith stood still, unsure of what chaos was doing. Her stiff body was pushed against his warm one soothingly, trying to calm her down. Awkwardly, she began to wrap her arms around chaos, hugging him less tightly then he was hugging her. She rested her head on his shoulder, being just a mere inch shorter then him. As she breathed deeply, she realized chaos was the only person apart from Gaignun to hug her closely, and she couldn't understand why he was doing it.

"There's no need to apologize, Faith …" Gaignun softly said. "Please do not worry. I understand … your upset… I want to be there for you … I want to hold you close, tell you it'll be okay."

Faith sighed deeply. They were almost working together: chaos trying his best to do what Gaignun wanted, to sooth her. Though it was working ever so slightly, it wasn't what she wanted. She wanted Gaignun to hold her, to tell her it would all be okay. "Then do it … I need you."

That was it – that was the thing that would push Gaignun to her. Standing to his feet, he ripped the headset off his head, messing up his jet black locks ever so slightly. He threw the headset onto the desk, tucking the chair underneath the desk. Eyes were set on him as he searched the draws of the desk, looking for a pair of red glasses, so that he too could get into the Encephalon. It would make more sense that way. Pulling her back would most defiantly piss her off. Either that or she would feel useless. Just pulling her back into the real world would've made her think Gaignun thought of her to be weak. Even admitting she needed him would've been classed as weak in her book – at least that was what Gaignun believed. Even though he knew it would be better to bring her back into the real world, where no more of those horrible memories could chase after her, he didn't want to be the reason she felt weak. He wanted to be the reason she could pull through it all, even if he had to hold her hand ever step of the way (which he would be happy about – helping her was what he wished to do).

He groaned deeply as he slammed shut the last draw. "Where the hell are they?"

"There's a spare set here, Master Gaignun," Mary's soft voice said. Turning his head to her, he saw the pair of red glasses in her hand. She was smiling sheepishly as he walked over to her, taking the glasses.

"Thank you," he nodded, walking out of the room.

"Ah, Master Gaignun!" Mary called, just as he was about to walk through the door. Gaignun turned around to her, raising a brow. "Are ya' sure you'll be alright down there? Don't ya' wanna' just stay here and leave chaos to take care of her?"

"He can't take care of her as well as I can," he said, slipping through the door.

Quickly, Gaignun made his way to the dive room, standing between chaos' and Faith's bodies. He pulled off the black blazer he wore, taking his tie off as he did so – for once looking extremely casual. He undid the top button of his shirt, which he had untucked, and then slid the glasses onto his handsome face. With a nod from Allen, he soon felt the dizzy spell anyone gained from entering the Encephalon.

Now she hated herself for saying that. Her body had pulled away from chaoses as she stood by the window, staring out to the dark garden below. She could see two figures, one of them was her mother, with her beautiful hair and face, the other was her brother. Both were looking quite distraught as they paced the garden, their legs moving quickly. In the hand of her mother was a cigarette, yet she was rarely taking anything of it, instead she held it close to her head, letting the substance burn itself away. She could see her eyes red with tears, her mouth opening to speak, yet shutting just as quickly. Her eyes were glazed to the floor as she paced, whilst her brother was looking at their mother with concern. Faith just hated how she had to say it. How she had to say I need you.

It was what the weak would say. She couldn't understand it – why was it now that she needed someone? She had survived years of torture from Albedo, emotional and psychical. She had come close to death many a times, cried herself to sleep and drunk herself until she was fully out of it on several occasions, just so that only bit of pain she'd have to think about in the morning was the dreaded headache signalling a hangover. But when she was finding out about her own life, a terrible murderous life in which she had brought upon herself, she was suddenly weak. There were still many unanswered questions, like how many other people had she killed? What were those strange powers and did she still have them? And ultimately … why had she been turned into a Realian? Was it her mother and brother who had made the decision? It would make sense if they didn't want their family member being put down for murder. And erasing the memories was a lovely idea – Faith didn't want anymore dark memories clouding around in her head, though she knew she deserved it.

There was a little bit of movement behind her, yet she just ignored it, not wanting to turn her head around just in case. Biting her lip, she could hear a set of footsteps drawing close to her. Before she knew it, a set of strong hands were on her arms, soothing over her skin. The touch was Gaignun's, she figured that out straight away, but it was the fact he was touching her that caused her to swiftly turn her head. The pure shock of her beloved being there was something she didn't expect. Her eyes stared up into his beautiful emerald ones that showed nothing but pure love for her. Her heart melted as she slammed her body into his, wrapping her arms around him.

He hushed her gently, though no words were leaving her lips. His fingers ran through her hair deeply, his head nuzzling deep into her locks. Possessively, he held her close to him, never wanting to let go. He felt a strange sense of relief as he held her, happy to be protecting her – to be there for her. They had only spent a few minutes, probably half an hour, separated yet he hated it. He hated watching her through the screen as she got angry at herself, as her emotions became muddled and confused. There was an urge to pull her out of the dive, yet somehow he had managed to hold it back. "It's okay …" he gently said, feeling her skin trembling. "It happened long ago, Faith. You're not that girl anymore, okay? Your sweet," he moved her head gently to kiss her forehead. "Your kind, your loving," again, another peck on her forehead that caused her cheeks to burn red. Gaignun smirked. "And you're cute."

"What the hell happened to you, Gaignun?" she laughed, trying to lighten the mood. He looked down at her, a frown on his face. She smiled playfully, moving her hands down his white shirt. "You're not as smart as you usually are. Aren't you worried about the impression you'll make?"

"In an Encephalon dive?" he smirked. "Now who would I want to impress here?" he laughed, tucking some of her hair behind her ear.

"Well, me of course," she smirked, her eyes more playful.

"I don't need to," he said. "You're already mine, are you not?"

That sentence made her hear flutter. She was his. Her cheeks turned to a bright shade of red as she looked down at the floor, her heart pounding quickly. Then, as she stood there, the area seemed to change in a flash. From being in the bedroom, the three of them were stood in a garden, unlike the one at the first house or Faith's old house. It was much more … posh compared to them, and there was a large, extremely large building that it belonged to. It was just like any other smart building on Miltia, the walls silver and the windows oblong shaped and clear as crystal. Faith had pulled away from Gaignun as her curious eyes glanced around the new place. There were Doctors and other sorts of clever people walking about, glancing around carefully. And then there were children. A few had blonde hair, all of them boys and all wearing the same uniform: grey and blue. As Faiths' eyes searched more and more, she noticed more of the boys; all of then identical in looks. Their eyes were a dull, almost dead, shade of blue with their hair a standard shade of common blond. Even their skin colour was exactly the same. Then it dawned on her. U.R.T.V's. She had gained a vast knowledge about them from Master … Albedo … when they had her in his possession. During his rants he would speak about them, speak about his disgust towards them and how he was grateful neither him, Rubedo or Nigredo were like them.

Curious about what expression may be on Gaignun's face, Faith turned around, only to be disappointed. He remained his usual, unclouded self: not allowing Faith or even chaos to see within his emotions and understand what was going through his mind. Though Faith knew better – he was thinking about it all. She could sense that and she could see his eyes busy in thought. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed as well, which could show a sign of distaste towards the entire situation. From what Master had told Faith, the younger years of their childhood were not good ones. And from what Faith had earlier seen with Gaignun killing the blond headed man (who as she thought about it looked quite like the U.R.T.V's), it would defiantly be an almost disturbing time for him. Faith edged close to him, and wrung her fingers around his assuredly.

"You can go back if you wish," she said to him, once she had gained his attention. "You do know I have to stay here though, don't you?"

"I understand," he nodded. "But I am not leaving you. I was stupid, foolish enough to do that earlier. God knows what else you may see from your past."

"My past, Gaignun," she outlined, locking her eyes with him as she spoke seriously. "My past that I have had brought upon myself. I killed Father; I killed others I do believe as well. I don't know what state I had been under, but I did it. Me and only me," she sighed deeply as she continued. She suddenly hoped all this murderous speak wouldn't make Gaignun hate her. "Facing my past is something I have to deal with. Otherwise what will I be? It's what I deserve."

"Not true," Gaignun said. "You said you don't know what state you had been in. This Faith, this new Faith, doesn't deserve pain."

He kissed her head gently, and then sighed. "We had better go find Jr, don't you think?"

"That would be a wise decision," chaos nodded. "I'm afraid me and Faith got separated from them whilst going through a teleported whilst in Sakura's home."

"It's understandable," Gaignun nodded.

About to pull Faith away, he froze, noticing her own stiff posture. Her eyes were wide in fear as she stared foreword, her skin trembling as she stared at the white headed, young Albedo.