Chapter 14: Paint the Silence
Bolton Residence…
Troy thought to himself as he was putting on his suit that this was by far the longest week of his life. The aftermath of the incident with Nick at Buffer's Park triggered a relapse of traumatic memories that reminded him of his Cousin Peter's death six years ago. This was the second time in his life he witness someone plummet off the fifty foot cliff out at Buffer's Park and frankly, it really troubled him. The last thing he expected was preparing to go to Nick's funeral although Frankie insisted that him and Gabriella come and pay their respects as old acquaintances, which they reluctantly agreed. For him and Gabriella, this was the longest week after they learned of what happened after the fall.
FLASHBACK: Earlier in the week…
Troy and Gabriella headed back to his place after coming home from the hospital and giving their statements as to what happened out on Buffer's Park. Jack and Diane were worried about their wellbeing and under Mrs. Montez's assistance, she allowed Gabriella to spend the weekend at their place. Troy and Gabriella waited in the living room to hear any confirmation or news on Nick's condition.
"Do you guys want anything to eat?" Mr. Bolton asked, "There's some leftover pasta on the counter if you're hungry. Hey kids I know it's been a rough night with the hospital, the police testimonies and all, but I'm sure he'll pull through."
"I…saw Nick fall over a fifty foot cliff while he was drunk," Troy suddenly spoke, "If…if I was able to grab him right before he went over the edge…then…then I wouldn't have to be watching on top with Frankie him lying completely motionless on the beach!"
"He…wasn't moving, he was…just still and his head completely cracked open," Gabriella replied crying, "I've…never witness anyone literally plummet or throw themselves over a cliff!"
"I did and the reality is no one would survive a plummet of over fifty feet off a cliff!" Troy snapped with frustration, "Besides…now I know why Buffer's Park is now Albuquerque's landmark for teen suicides and deaths, what tourists spot that is!"
"Troy you can't blame yourself for what happened to Nick out there tonight…none of us didn't expect it happen and we told the police he slipped and that it was an accident. He just wasn't thinking straight and he was hurt and upset over what happened with Sharon. This was something beyond your control and you have to stop beating yourself over that."
"Whatever Gabi I'm going to the bathroom…at least this one didn't involve a gun and a dead girl falling over," Troy sighed as he headed to the bathroom.
"Mr. Bolton what did he mean by that? Does this have to do with what happened to his cousin Peter six years ago?" Gabriella asked.
"Troy was only eleven years old when he cousin died and our family believed that he just took his own life but…the only person who knows the truth of what truly happened to Peter is Troy and he'll never talk about it," Mr. Bolton sighed, "Anything that involves self-mutilation, bodily harm or attempted suicide traumatizes him because it reminds him of his cousin…his mom and I made him see a psychologist for eight weeks after Peter's death." A minute later they heard the phone ring as Mrs. Bolton picked it up.
"Hello?" Mrs. Bolton replied as she turned to Gabriella, Mr. Bolton and Troy who came back into the room, "It's the hospital."
"Probably they have news on Peter for us," Troy replied.
"Okay…oh I see," Mrs. Bolton said on the phone, "I'm very sorry… tell them that our condolences is with them. We'll keep on prayers with them."
"Mom…what happened? Was that the hospital?"
"Mrs. Bolton…will Nick be okay? How is he doing?"
"That was Nick's friend Frankie on the phone," Bolton sighed, "Apparently Nick suffered from severe trauma to the head that fractured his skull and he loss a lot of blood. There was severe damage to the brain…as a result of the fall. I'm so sorry kids…but Nick passed away about an hour ago during surgery."
Jack and Diane spent the rest of the night counseling both Troy and Gabriella as they were lost in thought over Nick's death as they explained that arrangements would soon be made for Nick's funeral during the week.
END OF FLASHBACK
"Troy…sweetie Gabriella is here," Mrs. Bolton called, "Troy, are you alright?"
"Oh hi mom, yeah…I'll be down in a minute," Troy replied, "Can…you send Gabriella upstairs?"
"No problem sweetie just take your time," Bolton said as she called Gabriella upstairs to Troy's room, "I'll…leave you two alone for a minute."
"You…still struggling getting the tie on?" Gabriella replied as she helped tie Troy's tie, "I…don't know why guys still struggle with these things. Hey you're wearing your necklace."
"You're wearing yours too…maybe it will bring us good luck," he replied as they referred to their yin-yang necklaces, "But…not at a time where we get to watch someone get buried six feet under today."
"Troy don't worry…I'm here and I promise we'll both help each other through this, or is there something you're not telling me?"
"It just feels like déjà vu all over again…first Peter, now Nick and they're dead because they got hurt by people they loved and gave their hearts to. It shows how double-edged love can be that it sometimes destroys the innocence of people…I just don't know."
Cemetery…
The ride to the cemetery was quiet for the both of them as they arrived for Nick's funeral and they were introduced to Nick's family by Frankie. Nick's parents learned from Troy and Gabriella about their history with Nick at St. Luke's and the Dyers were glad that they were able to pay respects to their adopted son. The funeral proceedings went on and all of Nick's family and friends were in attendance, and to their surprise Sharon was there. The two of them notice the look on Frankie's face as he glared at Sharon during the funeral as if he was telling her that it was her fault for Nick's death. After the funeral proceedings finished and the casket was lowered, everyone paid their last respects while Troy and Gabriella stood with Frankie at the grave.
"The school has been holding a eulogy for Nick all week," Frankie sighed, "So…they ruled Nick's death as an accidental fall which was partially true. The autopsy proved that there was alcohol in his system and he blew a point eight."
"Why…do you think that's only half the truth?" Gabriella and Troy asked.
"You guys were there at the cliff and we all know what drove Nick over the edge," Frankie added as he looked at Sharon, "The nerve of her to show up after what she did to him…but he wouldn't want that. I may hate her now for what she did, but I know that in her heart she truly loved Nick, if only things didn't turn out the way they did."
"She must feel guilty and remorse for what happened with Nick…if he didn't find her phone that night and got wasted and ended up at the cliff, then Nick would be alive. Everyone has a choice of how to deal with their problems but people go about them the wrong way!"
"Troy it wasn't your fault or mine and if we were able to grab Nick before he slipped…then…it would have been a completely different day right now. He was my best friend since we were in kindergarten and sometimes…I just wish to go back to that time we were kids before the whole growing up aspect, where me, him and Sharon were little kids playing on the playground and stuff…but it's nothing but distant memories."
"Memories you want to forget…and some memories that end up haunting you for the rest of your life," Troy added, "Nick's death reminds me of a time warp…and suddenly I'm back to my eleven year old self reliving those memories." Troy walked off away from Gabriella and Frankie as Frankie looked at Gabriella.
"Did something…happen to Troy before?" Frankie asked, "Your boyfriend said that night that…he's been through the same situation before like what happened with Nick."
"It's not in my place to say anything about it, but I know Troy loss someone almost the same way Nick died at Buffer's park six years and he witness someone kill themselves. He doesn't talk about it…but Nick's death is triggering memories that still haunt Troy." Gabriella walked away as Frankie was making his way to the Dyers for the post wake party, "I'll see if we can come by later to the Dyers for the post wake party."
Troy walked up towards his cousin Peter's grave as he just stood there silently and thought back to what happened to Nick at Buffer's Park. He rarely comes by his cousin's grave and this was about the first time in six years he ever visited his cousin's grave and closed his eyes.
FLASHBACK…
"Nick you got to get back from the edge," Troy replied as he was trying to get close, "I know you're hurting but you're not thinking straight and you on the verge on getting yourself hurt if you don't back away from the edge."
"Troy what the hell are you doing?" Frankie asked, "It's too dangerous."
"Sharon put you up to this to try to save me and make it look like that our relationship can be fixed but that's not going to happen because I know…I know…she had me fooled. If you save than it will make her try to love me more! Hey Sharon was this your plan all along to prove you loved me by trying to save me at the last minute?"
"Listen you got to careful alright please Nick," Troy said as Nick took another sip from the bottle and his foot slipping on some rocks, "Listen to reason Nick you don't wanna do this!"
"You know what I truly believe that you guys are the lucky ones Troy Bolton and Gabriella Montez because life for you turned out great. At least your girl loves her and you'll do anything to save her. If my girl was up here she'll try to stop me from falling because I might fall and then at last second she'll grab me. Sharon would send some lackeys like my best friend and a guy I haven't seen in eleven years to save me!"
"Nick just get back from the edge!" Troy yelled.
"Or I might fall because and then Sharon would take credit for saving the…"
END OF FLASHBACK
"You know it's been six years and I know I should have come by every year on your anniversary or your birthday to pay respects," Troy said, "But how could I after everything that happened at Buffer's Park that night with Lucy? You know for six years I been haunted by the events of that night and I was only a kid back then when it happened…and now six years later it's like a time warp all over again and now Nick is dead. Congratulations…I just feel like I'm living this nightmare again except the difference is Nick slipped off that cliff by accident."
At this point Troy was at the verge of tears and frustration, "It was better…than witnessing someone shoot a girl for cheating on you and turning a forty-five revolver on themselves and falling off that cliff. You stupid son of a bitch why did I have to come with you that night and witness your psychotic breakdown end in homicide? No one didn't know what really happened to you or Lucy that night at Buffer's Park and it's a burden carrying the memories of that night and I'm fed up! I loved you, but yet I hate you so much…but I can't!"
"I'm so sorry Troy," Gabriella sighed as she quietly gave Troy a tight hug, "My gut…told me you'd be here despite it being the last place to find you, and I promise I'd be here."
"Nick's death was accidental compared to what happened to Peter. Gabi…it's been six years and in light of Nick's death it reminded me of what happened to Peter, except no one doesn't go to the extreme to deal with the pain."
"You said you couldn't carry the burden of remembering what happened six years and although you may love or hate Peter…you guys were close like brothers." She grabbed Troy's hand, "Please…I know you're in so much pain talk to me please."
"My aunt Kristen moved away three months after her son Peter died when they found out…what he did to his girlfriend Lucy out at Buffer's Park that night. I was there that night when it all happened. My parents were away for the weekend six years ago and I was staying at Peter's place and he picked me up from Chad's that night. Something was off that night and that he told me he was going to meet Lucy at Buffer's Park. I waited at the foot of the cliff that night and Lucy showed up and he found out that Lucy was having an affair with his best friend Steven. He knew for awhile and in the weeks leading up to Peter's death he suddenly changed."
"What happens next Troy? What happened that night?"
"I watched them up on the cliff and he suddenly lost it on her and they were arguing saying that he loved Lucy and that she didn't have the right to try to end their relationship. The Peter I saw that night wasn't the same one who taught me about sports or played videogames with…but a guy in pain. He yelled at her and he wanted her to say that she didn't love him anymore and then I heard Lucy tried to walk away, but that's when Peter pulled out the gun and threatened to use it. Lucy tried to reason with him and the last thing I heard come out from Peter's mouth was 'Love is forever…you don't wake up and stop loving somebody.' The next thing I remembered…was a gun shot and then Lucy's body falling over the cliff and on the floor. I looked up at Peter and he was shocked of what he did…he looked at me and didn't say anything because he knew what I might have thought of him. Then…I saw Peter turn the gun to his head and shoot himself."
"That's how Peter really died," Gabriella said, "First he shot his girlfriend, and then he shot himself because she was ending their relationship. What did you do after?"
"I was eleven years old and no one…no one should lay witness to crap like that at such a young age, especially by someone you thought would never hurt anyone they loved! Peter's last words I still remember when he said love is forever that you don't wake up and stop loving somebody was so ironic that if he couldn't be with her living, and then why not end it now and forever! Look what happened to Peter, to Nick, the girls they gave their hearts to hurt them and they snapped! My aunt figured out the truth that Peter murdered Lucy that she moved away ashamed of how her son's last moments went down and she avoided contact with Lucy's family after their deaths. I told her a year later what happened and they wouldn't book Peter for Lucy's murder… but rule both their deaths as accidental suicides. Since then…I spend everyday trying to erase what happened that night at Buffer's Park and avoid any momentums that would remind me of my cousin."
"Despite everything that happened you shouldn't have been the one to witness what happened to Peter and Lucy. I know what they did by ruling their deaths as accidental suicides were a way to not tarnish the reputation they had at their schools. It hurts when parents lose their child, and the thought of someone taking their own life or the life of someone they love would be too much pain to bear. But you can't hold animosity towards him because you loved him like he was your older brother. You can't let one night destroy what you remember about him because in spite of it all…deep in heart you know that there was good left inside of Peter."
"And what good was there left in him? He made me watch him die, him murder some innocent girl and maybe in the afterlife he's probably asking for forgiveness for all the pain, hurt, agony and aguish his death left on all of us. I'm afraid…that what happened to Peter, Lucy, and now Nick that if you love someone so much and if it takes one ounce of pain and agony to destroy the very foundations of a relationship…you're going to hurt the one you love unintentionally and end your life…with a broken heart."
"You're afraid if you love someone too much…you'll end up going down the same path like Peter or Nick," Gabriella said, "Nick's death is making you think…if you love me too much and I end up hurting you that you might do something you'll regret. Is…that what scares you?"
"I…can't say…in the wake of all of this somehow they ask for forgiveness," Troy sighed as he walked with Gabriella to his truck, "How can someone ask for forgiveness after all the damage is done? If nice guys like them were able to do those things, take actions like that…what makes you think I'm not capable of that too?"
East High…
A few days later, it was another day of school and Gabriella became more concern about Troy after he revealed at the cemetery how Peter died and how's he coping with Nick's death too. Their friends knew what they were going through and tried to avoid conversation of the events of Buffer's Park for Gabriella and Troy's sake. Both of them had their own way of dealing with grief, and half the student body heard different stories about what happened to Nick Dyer of West High out at Buffer's Park that they didn't want to hear about it. During lunch, Gabriella sat with her friends quietly, but she hasn't seen Troy all day at school.
"Hey Gabi…how you holding up?" Taylor asked.
"It could have been better, but I'm trying to deal with it," Gabriella said, "I meet up with Nick Dyer after twelve years and then a few days later…he's dead. It makes you wonder why things like that happen to such good people."
"No one can ever imagine what it's like to take your life," Sharpay said seriously, "Or have life end suddenly like that. No matter what people talk about or the gossip you hear…Nick Dyer was a good person, that's all I can say because there is good in everyone."
"That's what everyone believes that there is good left in people despite doing harmful things to the ones you love," Gabriella replied, "That's what Troy is worried about…I think Nick's death hit him harder that after six years he's now opening up about Peter. It's like he's suddenly changing and that it takes another person's death to re-evaluate everything. I'm really scared and I want to help him…but for the first time I don't know where to start."
"He's been going all emo since Nick's death and it's like he's losing touch," Chad sighed, "I've never seen Troy like this before. Whatever he's going through…he'll always open up to you Gabi but even though he'll try to push you away…in heart he's hurt and he needs you more than ever."
"Thanks Chad," Gabriella slowly smiled, "Listen…I'm going to go find Troy."
"Take care Gabriella," Ryan replied as she got up, "I know they're be okay we just hope so."
"Hey Chad what are you listening to?" Taylor asked as he was listening to his Ipod.
"Oh it's some song called Paint the Silence by South," Chad replied, "You want to hear it?"
"Hey let us listen too," Sharpay and Ryan replied.
How
can you say your life is empty? Don't
paint the silence black now save me Now the violence sleeps inside Now the violence sleeps inside
So late in the day
Why would
you stay another second?
Now your sight got in the way
A
combination
Of love and aggression
Another second lived
Don't leave it a day
You
got a right to stand or die so maybe
You take chances all the
same
Pain comes in stages
If we don't make it
Nothing
changes
Abandoned feeling
for just a piece of mind
It's the reason why your teething side
frustrates me
Abandoned
feeling for just a piece of mind
It's the reason why your teething
side irates me
Troy was up on the roof eating his lunch alone and ironically listening to South on his Ipod still lost in thought. He didn't feel like eating lunch in the cafeteria with the gang because he didn't want to burden them with his problems, especially with what happened with Nick although they are now aware of what happened. However, it was what he told Gabriella about how Peter truly died and the reason why Nick's death reminded him so much of Peter's. The last thing he wanted was to hurt someone he loved so much if they ended up doing something terrible, especially Gabriella. He was scared and both deaths were making him think of karma.
Don't
leave me to pick up on your questions Now the
violence sleeps inside Now
the violence sleeps inside
Not even a day
It's
alright to finish up your sentence
You talk all the same
Pain
comes in stages if we don't make it
Nothing changes
Abandoned feeling for just a piece of
mind
It's the reason why your teething side frustrates me
Abandoned feeling for just a piece of
mind
It's the reason why your teething side irates me
"The cafeteria was quiet without you in it Wildcat," Gabriella said as she came up next to him.
"I just…felt like eating alone for today you understand," Troy said, "It's hard trying to go on with life and imagine what it's like to move forward after something big happens. I...don't know if I'll be alright after all of this. How did your appointment go with the school counselor?"
"What's there to say…except I'm still expressing how I truly felt being a witness of Nick Dyer's final moments and watching him fall was not one of them, but I'll live with it. You know there's so much we can tell our friends, but we can never tell them everything unlike how we always used to tell each other when we were kids."
"Things were so different when we were kids because we were orphans who lost everything but then we had a second chance after we both got adopted. Things you lose in the past somehow end up being returned to you…like you Gabi after twelve years. Sometimes you want to hold you to the things you hold dear to your heart and since I first met you…I wanted to hold onto you, even after I got adopted. But somehow…you may have to let go at one point of the things you hold dear. I did for twelve years and then I had other people come into my life I wanted to hold onto, I think that is why Peter and Nick went to extreme measures to hold onto what they held dear, Lucy and Sharon."
"I know…and what makes you think I'm going to end up doing what Lucy or Sharon did to Nick or Peter? Things don't stay the same for twelve years and with our time apart, I too had people I wanted to hold onto, but I had to let go or some twist of fate intervenes. Please look at me and tell me…what are you feeling? We've seen each other at our low points whether it was us at five at being adopted and separated from one another, or you seeing me discover the truth about Bernardo, or meeting up twelve years later and realizing we fell in love with each other at a time we were alone in the world without any guidance and wanted to forget the fact we were orphans at one point, or even witness someone from our distant past fall off a cliff one night. Despite it all…we were there for each other and we made a promise to protect one another from whatever obstacles or traumas life threw at us."
"Yeah and I know…I would do anything to protect you and keep the promise I made to you Gabi when I was five years old, despite what happened to Nick, to Peter, to us when we were small…I still keep going because of that. It's the good that I know that comes out of love…but yet if I hold onto and love you too much than it can destroy any innocence or good left. Going back what I asked you how someone can ask for forgiveness after all the damage is done. If nice guys like them were able to do those things, take actions like that…what makes you think I'm not capable of that too?"
"What are you saying Troy?" Gabriella asked concerned, "Even in life and death after what those guys did, somehow they'll find peace and forgiveness for what their deaths did to those around them…but you can't shut yourself off because of it, and I'm beginning to think you're trying to shut me out because you're afraid!"
"Yeah that's the point because what happened to Peter to make him shoot his girlfriend and to Nick to go up that cliff and deal with discovering the truth about Sharon makes me afraid that I can't risk getting hurt by someone I love and kill them or myself! I love you Gabi…but if I love you too much to hold onto you, then I would be dependent on that and that's all I got to live for and only that. There are other things besides love to live for I know that but, I would go to the ends of the world for you...but I don't know if I can risk breaking your heart or my own."
"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear you say that you're afraid that if you love me too much you're going to hurt me," Gabriella started crying hugging him, "I love you and love is all about risking everything on the line just to be the one you're with! It's about staying with them through thick and thin and leaning on them! We don't know what the future holds for the both of us and it wouldn't be fair just to let someone's death make us think otherwise of what love is! Troy…you can't let Peter and Nick's deaths destroy what you know in your heart and soul because I know there's still good inside of you."
"I know and I believe that there is still some good despite all the crap that happened," Troy replied as they kissed, "I can't…I can't risk going down that same path a third time around and I'm sick of being burden to carry those memories forever, but I have to live with them. If there is good left in love…then I need a break to save myself from putting what I hold dear at risk of self destructing. I love you too much…that I can't risk hurting or you watching me witness me self-destruct like I saw with Peter or Nick. I can't…do that to you, not ever."
"Troy…don't do this," Gabriella sighed as he walked off the roof, "You're letting it get to you again, please we can do this together. You know I'll hold onto you whatever happens."
"I know you would…and I'm sorry," Troy sighed, "I love you…but I can't let my love for you self-destruct itself that one day I'm going to end my own life or yours or someone else."