AN: I'm trying a different technique with this chapter since it's a big deal for Kenny…

The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak
XIV. How to Vie…

i. strive…

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. People occasionally are talking to me, asking about the stalker list, but I hear none of them. My mind is completely on Tweek. I see him so much more in the hallways today than I have any other day. I think it's because I'm making more of a conscious effort to seek him out, and no doubt he's doing the same for me.

When I see him in the halls my hormones pick up ten fold, and I usually have to press along and keep walking as I am normally with Stan and Kyle. The one time I'm not I drag him into an unlocked, dark and empty classroom to shove him against a wall and attack his lips. I'm not usually this rough, but everything feels pent up, and Tweek doesn't seem to mind.

As I'm sucking and pulling on his bottom lip slightly, he lets out a little whine that makes me want to do unspeakable things to him. But he's still Tweek, and Tweek has a sense of time, so before I can, he pushes me away gently, but all the same, against my will.

"W-we have to get to, ergh, we have to get to class." He stutters.

"Who fucking cares," I half growl and move back towards his mouth but he stops me.

"Umm, ergh, ah, well… I do?"

I groan and rest my forehead on his shoulder, "goddamn Tweek, ugh, okay fine, we'll go to class."

He smiles at me and as much as a fool as I feel I smile back. I probably resemble a lovesick idiot. Tweek takes my hand and starts to pull me out of the classroom, actually drag me out sounds more appropriate. I really don't want to leave this room.

"K-Kenny come on!" He whines, "We're going to be late!"

I let him continue to pull at me, and I know we have to get going, but I just like the feel of his hands in mine. He has such girl hands. When Tweek manages to pull me outside the classroom, the halls are empty, there aren't even lingering students. We walk side by side, talking idly and I'm well aware that Tweeks left hand is playing with my right hand. It's as if he he's too anxious to just grab it, so instead I grab his.

ii. struggle…

Dear Journal,

I'm not super sure, but I have to tell someone. I think Kenny and I are a couple! I mean, I think… I don't really know. I kissed him, and I know I made a big deal about kissing him on the cheek before, but guess where I did it this time? The lips! And he didn't push or pull away!

I got so tingly, and then he held my waist and pushed me closer to him rather than away! Then after that we had to go to our separate classes, but the whole day in school I kept looking for him, and I think he did the same for me too. We never really did anything or said anything to each other in the halls since for the most part he was always with Kyle and Stan, and I don't know if he's told them anything… he probably will soon, and I guess I'll have to tell mom and dad too…

I don't want to think about that yet.

Anyway, at one point when we saw each other alone in the hallways he grabbed me, and I wasn't scared, I got really excited, and he pulled me into a classroom and we just kissed. For a really long time, and I got that tingly feeling again and I'm so happy and I felt so happy when we were close.

There's just one little thing, and its not even little, its smaller than that, its tiny… when we left the room we were holding hands, and I was so giddy and I couldn't wait till someone ran into us to see that I was with Kenny. But then, when we did… when we saw people in the halls I noticed him drop my hand. It's probably not a big deal right? My hand was getting kinda clammy and sweaty so he probably just wanted his hand to breathe…

You know Journal that was probably it. I wouldn't want to hold a clammy hand.

Your friend, Tweek

"Craig said he saw you and Tweek acting funny," Stan tells me, nudging my shoulder annoyingly.

"Stan leave him alone," Kyle says walking back into his living room where the three of us have gathered to catch an after school movie. He tosses two cans of pop to both Stan and I before settling himself down on the overstuffed chair.

"You're not in the least bit curious as to what he meant by that?" Stan asks, raising an eyebrow as he pops open his soda can.

"Of course I am, but Kenny will tell us when he wants too." Kyle retorts.

"Thank you Kyle." I say to him.

"Sure, so what did happen?" He asks and Stan smirks at me, "Because last I saw you, you took off with Tweek when that mob surrounded us about the stalkers list. Then the rest of that day when I saw Tweek nearby neither of you so much as glanced at each other. What'd you do?"

"What did I do! I didn't do anything!" I exclaim.

"Then why does it seem like you and Tweek are ignoring each other?" Stan asks, taking a sip of his drink.

"Are we going to watch this movie or talk about my personal life?"

"Kenny your personal life is ours too, and you're going to tell us anyway, so just spill it now. The movie can wait; we've all see 'Asses of Fire' a million times since we were nine."

I sigh in irritation. Of course I'm going to tell them what's happened up until now but do they have to know me so well? I start filling them in from when Tweek and I left up till the point after school, where I told Tweek I'd stop by his house later on today. I study my friends' reaction when I'm done. Kyle looks a little pleased, but Stan looks unsure.

"What?" I ask him, after he doesn't say anything for a time.

"You like him then, you really like him?"

"Yeah, I do." I tell him quietly.

Stan stares at me for so long that I start to get uncomfortable, I want to avert my eyes, but something tells me it'd be best if I let him do whatever it is that he's doing.

He's probably seeing if you're full of it.

"What about all the others?" He asks me after awhile.

I know what he means by others, Kyle looks slightly lost but after a few seconds his eyes widen and he nods remembering. The others, all the people I'd fuck for the fun of it. I was on a spree when Tweek ignored me for those past few days. There was a new person everyday, and I loved it when it was happening. But I really only did it so I wouldn't have to think of Tweek.

To image that his ignoring me had affected me that much…

I shake my head at the both of them. "I'm not doing that anymore." I tell them, but they look as if they don't believe me. I guess I understand, as it has been my behavior for almost the majority of my life. "I'm not." I say again.

"So what are you guys now?" Kyle is asking, "is he your boyfriend?"

Stan looks at me curiously as Kyle asks this, and while I want to give a forward answer. I can't, not about something like this. "I don't know," I say with a shrug.

"Does he think you're boyfriends?" Stan asks.

"Probably," I respond. "I mean, its Tweek."

"Yeah," Stan says, sliding further down into the couch. "And you like him, and he loves you. And Kyle likes Butters."

"We're talking about Kenny," Kyle interjects, his slight anger obvious.

"Point being," Stan continues. "Is things aren't what I thought they'd be like. I didn't think Kyle would be gay. And I didn't expect, of all people Kenny would want to be faithful to, for it be Tweek. The one person you're actually going to stop fucking around for is the same person just a few months ago we despised. Its interesting…how things work out." He muses, softly.

Kyle nods, "Kenny it's so hard for anyone to get past your iron outer shell, and here it took Tweek like two months."

I fold my arms, "I haven't told him anything. He overheard my dad yelling at me once, but he doesn't know anything else."

"You'll have to tell him eventually," Kyle says solemnly. "He'll find out on his own if he hangs around you enough."

I cast my eyes at the Broflowski's carpet. "What goes on in my house, stays there. Don't you think he might try to interfere if he finds out? What if calls the cops or something? I don't want to deal with that. I'll be gone soon, I won't have to deal with it anymore."

"But then what about your brother?" Stan asks. "Isn't he the whole reason you're taking all your dads bullshit? Kevin's not getting into any college you want to go to Kenny. He hasn't got the brains or the athletic ability. You're just barely going to slide by getting in, what about him?"

I bite my lip; I had realized this of course. That I'll be leaving my brother with our monster of a father, but I hadn't thought of an alternative on what to do. I refuse to stay at that house longer than I need to, but I can't just abandon him either.

"I'll think of something," I mutter.

"You've been saying that for years, but nothings happened." Stan tells me.

"Well what do you propose?" I ask, my anger starting to erupt as I glare at Stan. "Have you got any fucking ideas Stan? Because I haven't been able to think of any without getting the police involved," I say just as he opens his mouth to interrupt and suggest just that.

"I'll never understand why you won't tell them." Kyle says quietly. "No one's going to blame you, some are going to think what you're doing is brave and admirable."

"No." I say firmly, "they won't, not after it's been so long, people will just think I'm sort of sick fuck that enjoys it."

"I'll tell someone." Stan says slightly.

My head immediately whips over to look at him. "You guys said you never would. You said you'd let me deal with it."

"And its getting out of control, you know, I can't even believe I agreed to keep this a secret. What sort of friends does this make us Kenny?"

I'm so angry, I want to lean over and hit Stan. I won't, but I want too. Instead I stand up and make my way to leave. "Go ahead Stan, tell them, but I'll deny it, and so will my dad. Not to mention I'll never talk to your ass again."

"You're being irrational Kenny!" Stan yells at me, standing up and following behind me. "You've been so wrapped up in this cover up for so long that you're starting to think it's a good idea, well it's not and it never has been. And then all this sex with these random people you don't know, every day, all the time, to pass time, to take your mind off of going home, its not working is it Kenny?" Stan's raising his voice and from my side vision I can see Kyle standing wearily from his chair.

"When's the last time you've been to a hospital to get checked out? How many diseases do you think you have!"

I spin around, expecting my fist to come in contact with Stan's face; instead it makes contact with Kyle's. I gasp, and I can hear Stan's as well.

"Kyle, why did you-" Stan and I start but stops us from finishing.

"Are you two done?" He asks. "Feel better hitting me Kenny?"

I look off and I see that Stan has done the same.

"Stan, stop badgering him about it. You know Kenny is still clean," he says to him looking in his direction. His head turns to look at me next, "for now." He finishes, "but you're done right? With the play time sex?" I nod silently, still not looking at him. "And Kenny you know Stan's bugging the shit out of you because he cares. We both do, and soon, very soon you are going to have to tell someone what's going on at your house. You can't protect your brother from something like this, it isn't your job. Your dad should be locked up with the other sick perv's. I'm happy that you were able to confide in us but I'm disappointed in myself and I know Stan is too, for agreeing to keep it between the three of us. Good friends don't let their friends get hurt like this. It's fucked you up in so many ways Kenny and you know it. Now, we're all going to sit down, I'm going to grab a pack of ice for my jaw and we're going to sit here, and watch 'Asses of Fire' before you have to go meet Tweek."

Stan and I nod, and make our way back to the couch as Kyle nods, and turns heading back into the kitchen. As we sit awkwardly beside each other, I sigh.

"Sorry." I say to him.

"Yeah, me too, I know it's been hard." He replies.

Kyle walks back in with the ice pressed slightly against his cheek, as he sits down on the couch beside me, instead of the chair. He leans over to the side table to grab the remote and turns on the television. Going to the right channel, we watch the TV switch to DVD mode, and the loud obnoxious opening tunes of 'Asses of Fire' fill the air.

iii. contend…

Dear Journal,

I'm so excited! Today Kenny is going to come over to my house and we're going to… well, actually I don't know what we're going to do, but since I'll be with Kenny it shouldn't matter.

I'm starting to wonder when I should tell mom and dad that we're together, I mean, they don't have to know right away that I'm gay. And I don't even know that I'm gay, I just love Kenny. Does that make me gay? Because I don't look at other guys like I look at him and I don't think of other guys like how I think of Kenny. It's only Kenny, so maybe I'm not really gay. Then again, I haven't really been interested in girls, but I'm still assuming that's because they're not interested in me. I wonder how they would take it… They've never said anything was wrong with gay people, but parents tend to change when they realize their kid in particular is gay.

Like I heard Craig's dad had a huge fit and almost beat him up, and he was supposedly okay with gay people… but that could just be one of those rumors that floats around town.

Your friend, Tweek

KTKTKTKT

Dear Journal,

I'm starting to feel like Kenny doesn't really want to be with me the way I want to be with him. Every time I started to try and start a conversation he'd only want to kiss me and touch me and stuff. And I liked it at first, but I'm starting to see that always happens. And when I pulled away he looked really annoyed at me. It doesn't seem like he wants to talk to me at all. But I don't want to be like another Craig for him, I've heard about what they always did together, what they only did.

I don't know what I should do… maybe I'll ask around, and see if other people have had this problem with him. I think he and Craig are still on good terms, and I'm pretty sure that Kenny and Butters may have had a thing at one point. I'm not quite sure… And he still doesn't hold my hand or anything when we're at school or in public.

Your friend, Tweek

KTKTKTKT

Dear Journal,

Talked with Craig today. He told me lots of stuff about him and Kenny. None of it was really good. All Craig knew about him was how good in, um, how good in bed he was. Can't believe I just wrote that… but it's what Craig said. I never knew that he had fallen for Kenny the way I have. Craig said that he always tried to talk with Kenny, but that he never seemed very interested in the conversation.

Butters said something just like that. He said that every time he tried to get Kenny to talk about himself Kenny would close up and sometimes snap at him, telling him it wasn't any of his business, and Butters said that after that Kenny sort of made himself busy all the time so Butters couldn't talk to him.

When I asked other people, it's always the same thing. Kenny never talks about himself, he doesn't like conversation, and all he wants is sex. Is that how it's going to be for me? I don't want to be just another Craig or Butters to him! I thought he said he liked me! But, but… the others said Kenny said the same thing to them.

So, I don't, I don't know where I stand. Am I just another guy for him to play with and then get rid of when I start to ask too many questions? It hurts to think of that. I want to be with him all the time and I do like kissing and touching and just being held by him but if it's only so he can get in my pants… then I'm better off alone right Journal? The thing is he always seems to be genuine when he's around me, and I think that for the most part I make him happy they way he does for me.

I don't really know and I don't know what to do about it. But I do know that no matter, no matter what he says to me I won't let him get as far as he wants. I only want to do it with someone who loves me. I've always thought that, and Kenny has never said he's loved me, even though I say it all the time now. Maybe that's what's making him uncomfortable, and why he won't talk to me? I think I saw on Oprah or something about not saying the 'l' word too much… Okay. That's what I'll do, I won't say it so much.

Your friend, Tweek

Something's wrong. I notice that right away when Tweek lets me into his house. I came over to have dinner with his family tonight, practically the millionth time since we've been together, or whatever it is that we are.

Usually when he lets me in, he gives me this tight, bone crushing hug, this wide twitchy smile and kisses me quickly and sloppily before his parents walk in on us. I'm pretty sure he has yet to mention to his parents that he's in love with a guy, but that doesn't bother me. I could care less if he decides he ever wants to tell anyone. As far as I know, Kyle and Stan know we have a thing going on. We act pretty normal around each other in school, even though it kills me not to touch him every five seconds.

But its no ones business but ours what we are and what we do together anyway.

Instead of his usual greeting, he gives me a normal smile, but minus the death hug and fish kiss. When he starts to walk off, letting me close the front door, I reach ahead and grab his hand. He turns to face me curiously as I look at him funny.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Y-Yeah, why?" He questions.

I turn my head slightly, and narrow my eyes a little, looking at him closely. "No reason I guess," I resolve.

Tweek turns away, "do, do you have yo-your bags?"

"Just the one on my back." I say. Tonight we're having a sleepover. Which was entirely his parent's idea. Since they assume Tweek and I are such great buddies they've been harking me to stay over the night, and for the most part I've refused for obvious reasons of not being able to control myself if left alone with Tweek in a bedroom. Finally though, they started to look concerned about my refusals, so I caved.

"Kenny!" Mrs. Tweak walks into the room and gives me a hug. Something I'm almost used to from her, not quite though and I give her an awkward one back. "Is that your stuff?"

I nod, and she smiles wide, taking it from me, "well I'll put that in Tweeks bedroom for you then. Why don't you two head downstairs to the den, and I'll get on ordering a pizza!"

"Thanks, sounds good." I say and watch her walk upstairs.

Damn, she looks overly happy.

She does and as I question her sanity Tweek speaks up.

"I've ne-never had anyone, ergh, anyone spend the n-night before. So, um, my mom's a little excited."

"I can tell," I muse and look at him with a smile. "Are we going downstairs?" I question.

He nods, jumping around slightly, and I follow down the stairs in the kitchen. The Tweeks den is like any other in South Park, half den, half basement. To one side it's covered in boxes stacked neatly on top of each other, and on the other side is a TV, couches, chairs, and a small coffee table. All arranged tastefully, just how I imagined it would be. I plop myself on the couch and watch as Tweek does the same.

Something is wrong. Instead of practically laying on top of me, he sits on the other side of the couch, being almost careful to not touch me. I stare at him for a moment in wonder. He's twitching around like a leaf ass usual, his eyes blinking more than the average person, but he's not acting normal.

After sitting in silence, I touch his arm slightly, sending him jumping and shrieking up.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I ask him, ignoring his flinch from my swear.

"N-Nothing," he mutters.

"Bullshit Tweek, you're not telling me something. What is it for christssake?"

"I, um, well…" He rubs his arms slightly completely dodging my looks. "C-can we talk?"

I raise my eyebrow in confusion, "isn't that what we're doing right now?"

"That's, that isn't what I meant. I mean, ev-every time I try to find out more about you, you don't let me and sometimes I don't think you, ergh, um, I don't think you care what I have to say most of the time…" He trails off on the last part but I heard perfectly well what he said.

"Where's this coming from all of a sudden?" I ask him quietly.

"I-I, oh Jesus, I talked with C-Craig and B-Butters and some other people about you. And, and they said you're always like this, and that you only wanted them for, for," he pauses to breath, "for s-s-sex and stuff…"

Oh. Don't blow up.

Of course I fucking am.

iv. fight…

"You asked Craig, Butters and who the fuck knows who else, about me?" I watch him flinch and shift further way from me. "If you had any questions, you ask me, you come to me, not them."

"I- I've tried!" He argues, "b-but you never, you always change the subject, or ignore me all together! A-And you only want to do stuff, you never want to talk!" He's starting to gain more confidence as his stutter begins fades away.

"Half the time I- I wonder if you're even listening to me when I talk! I mean, I like what we do most of the time. I like the kisses and touches, but if we're not doing any of that we're watching TV or doing something else where you don't have to talk to me. And I tell you all the time that I love you, and you never say it… I mean you don't have to tell me if you don't feel like that, but I feel like this is all physical for you. I don't want to be another one of your Craig's. I want to mean more to you than that."

I hear all of what he's saying and I knew eventually he'd probably question my verbal distance, but for him to consult others like my past fuck buddies? That, I can't and won't deal with. We are not going to have this conversation until I am good, and fucking ready for it. Rather than answer him I turn away and stare at the blank television set, too angry to say anything to him.

"K-Kenny!" I hear him protest, but I refuse to hear any more of it. I don't need this right now, today wasn't one of my better days, not with my dads usual shit. When I came here I expected to relax and have a bit of fun. If I wanted to be bitched at I would have stayed home and dealt with it there. In fact… I stand. I'm leaving.

I hear his sigh, as I stand and make my way back toward the stairs. I'm stopped when the door at the top of the stairs open. Mr. Tweak is standing there with a box of pizza.

"Ah, Kenny! I was just coming down to give you boys the pizza and I brought some iced coffee to go with it!"

He must see the expression on my face, and his excitement drops, "something wrong?" He peeks over the staircase to look at Tweek. "Is everything alright with you two, Kenny you're not leaving are you?"

Yeah, you are, slide past and go home.

I shake my head at him.

Oh, honestly…

"No, Mr. Tweak I'm not going home. I was just coming up to use the bathroom." I lie to him. I don't look at Tweek and walk around Mr. Tweek to head to the bathroom. I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. Why can't I just go home?

After awhile, I leave and talk with Mrs. Tweak briefly in the kitchen before heading back down to the den. When I open the door, I hear the loud voices of a commercial, and I see Tweek watching the television, with the pizza box still closed on the coffee table. As I make my way back down, I expect him to say something to me, but he doesn't. He doesn't even look at me as I sit down where I did before.

As the night wears on, we watch movie after movie, all of them being comedies, none in which either of us laugh. At some point, Tweek turns off the set once one of the movies finishes.

"We should go to bed," he says softly.

I nod, saying nothing and grab the empty pizza box before he can. He looks at me slightly, but doesn't make a sound before I follow behind him upstairs. I dump the box in the trash and we silently make our way up the next flight of stairs to his bedroom. The only sounds are the creaking of the floor boards beneath our feet and the muffled snoring of Tweeks dad.

Going into his room, we see that his parents have set up a place for me to sleep on the floor beside Tweeks bed on an air mattress. Tweek says nothing as he grabs a change of clothes and leaves his room, heading toward the bathroom. I sit on the mattress and listen for the sounds of him getting ready for bed; the toilet flushing, the running of water… when he comes back in, he's changed and I leave for the bathroom to do the same things. As I come back in, the rooms dark. Tossing my clothes in a corner I settle myself on the mattress, huddling under the comforter, looking at Tweeks backside.

His chest is rising and falling, but he's not breathing deep, so I know he's still wide awake like I am. Sighing to myself, I turn so my back is facing his back. Looking at his closed door I think of what he said to me earlier and what Kyle and Stan had said to me days ago.

You don't have to tell him.

I know.

v. let go, and decide…

An hour must have passed by now, and I still can't sleep. "Can I tell you something Tweek?" I ask him suddenly, as my eyes stay open. My voice is pretty quiet, but given the absolute silence it carries well.

There's no response and I should maybe assume that he's asleep by now but I have a feeling he's not, and that he's heard me.

"Remember when I told you that I was my dad's favorite?"

"Yeah," he finally responds. I knew he wasn't asleep.

"I didn't always used to be; in fact I wasn't supposed to be. Dad favored Kevin at first." I stop for a second, when I hear Tweek shift in his bed. I know he's turned to face me.

He doesn't need to know all this.

I go on when Tweek settles. "I found out he favored him, and I knew what that meant…to be his favorite," I whisper. "Kevin may be the oldest but, he isn't all the way there you know? So I had to look after him like he was the youngest the majority of my life." I stopped to take a deep shaky breath; I never thought I'd be telling this story again to someone new.

"One night, he came home really drunk and pissed too. I don't even know why, I never know why half the time and I bet he doesn't either. Anyway, it was the middle of the night… and his stumbling woke me up so I crawled out of bed to see what the hell was going on. I opened my door to see him just about to go into Kevin's room. He heard my door open and he turned to look at me… I asked him what he was doing, since Kevin had just gotten to sleep. Sometimes it's hard for him to fall asleep because of… his problems…. So I didn't want him woken up because then he'd be a huge pain in the ass.

When he looked at me, I kind of saw this, this glint in his eye. I'd seen it so many times when he hit my mom. An anger, but there was something else in there and I couldn't even believe that I saw it in his eyes. They were lusting, and after my fucking brother. I could tell and I knew what he was going to do, I knew what that fucking bastard was going to do to Kevin, as if he isn't messed up enough."

I stop and squeeze my eyes shut, remembering those eyes I saw that night. I wonder if Tweek is still listening, maybe he's even fallen asleep. I wouldn't know because I refuse to look, just in case I meet his eyes.

"After seeing that look in his face and the determination behind them I knew he wasn't going to just stop his intentions just because of a little set back of me coming across him…

Like I said before, he was drunk and somehow I convinced him I was Kevin, as if we look a thing alike." I snort to myself before going on. "The funny thing is Kevin's pissed off as fuck at me because I get all of dad's attention. Fucking messed up isn't it? Like I want that assholes attention, I'm just doing it to save his ass."

"If he knows that why would he be so angry with you?" It's the first time Tweek has talked and I'm a little startled at the sound of his voice. I thought for sure by now that I was talking to his ticking alarm clock and nothing else.

"He doesn't really… know what I'm doing." I admit to Tweek.

"Is that what you meant before when you said that name calling wasn't the worst of what he did to you?" Tweek asks me, and I nod, realizing he can't see me nodding in the dark. There's silence for awhile as he processes everything.

"It isn't that I don't want to talk to you Tweek, it's that I don't usually know how. Telling stuff like this… well, its hard and only Stan and Kyle know. Most of my life I've had this… wall, and I don't like telling people stuff they don't want to hear. No one wants to hear about how someone's dad… how someone's dad…" I trail off with a sigh toward the door.

I want to turn and look at Tweek, to be able to see his face. But I don't think I could handle it if it was filled with a disgusted loathing. That's something I don't need or want to see from someone like him, who I care so much about.

"Not talking to people has been my way of protecting them from knowing about my situation. I don't want to drag others into this crap. I don't."

"…why don't you go to the police? Or tell your mom?" He asks in the darkness.

Who knows. I don't. I should have long ago and years just keep going by.

"At first I thought he'd lay off and stop, but he hasn't. It's just easier to keep it all a secret I guess. At this point, who knows what people will think of me, and what they'll say. I'd rather people blatantly get in my face about it then whisper among themselves like I can't hear."

I tense sharply when I feel someone crawl beside me. I relax when I remember Tweek and turn to look at him. He doesn't look disgusted, or even sympathetic, which can sometimes be worse. Tweek looks a little sad.

"I'm sorry I made you say all that." He says to me.

I shake my head brushing some of his hair out of his face. "I don't want to give you a reason to stop loving me," I say suddenly. "It makes me feel better to know that you do…"

Tweek gives me the saddest smile, and I have to tear my eyes from him before I do something I'll regret later, like cry. I melt into him when I feel him wrap his arms around me, despite how awkward it must be for him. I'm usually the one to hold him, its nice to be the one held.

His radiating warmth starts to make me sleepy and when I close my eyes against his chest I hear him whisper something. I don't acknowledge it, but I heard him and he knows I heard him.

"You're going to tell someone tomorrow okay."

It isn't a question; it isn't a statement or a demand. It sounds more like a decision he's made up for me, and I don't have the stamina to fight him on this one. Tomorrow's a long way off.

At some point during the night when I'm half awake, I faintly hear his door open and a small gasp from someone. I wonder if it's his mom or dad who saw us.

vi. refuse to fade out…

End of chapter 14ourteen

AN: How long will this story be? Not much longer, one, two, three more chapters. I don't decide that, the story sort of does. Then next on my agenda, I'm thinking of a Damien/ Pip story, what do you all think of that? Please R&R, I'm getting more each time, and I really love that everyone loves the story so much.

Faery Goddyss