I guess you've now figured out that things in Underland don't work exactly like they would here in our world, still less if a certain Hatter is involved! ;D Hope you're still enjoying the story nevertheless. And thanks for all your kind reviews, they really help me to improve and stay motivated! :)

Chapter 13 – Strawberries In Plenty

She sat there, dumbstruck, unable to utter a single word, completely overwhelmed by what he said, completely stunned by the wishful tone of his voice and the possibilities that were unfolding before her. But could it be? Would she be able to? Alice did not in the least doubt that in Tarrant she had found her match, that in him she had, at last, found someone who allowed her to be herself and that she would gladly stay by his side forever – but what about the life she had become used to? She had always dreamed about living in a place less restricted, less narrow-minded than her own world. But would she still want this if it meant leaving her family and staying in Underland forever? Would she be strong enough to exchange the life she had become used to, stiff and boring as it sometimes was, yet usually interesting and adventurous ever since she had taken up the reigns, for a life in a world full of madness and astonishement, where almost nothing was as it seemed, ever-changing, ever-challenging? Would she bear leaving her family, who she loved despite their stuffy view of life? This was what kept Alice from answering instantly, and when she finally felt capable of speaking again, only inconsistent, hesitant words came over her lips.

"This is all... Well, I... How could I say..."

Tarrant's hopes were going down the drain before his very eyes. His bold, helter-skelter venture had failed, and his heart sank while Alice was stammering random bits of answers. Every inch of his appearance conveyed the impression of defeat, fists clenched in his lap, bowtie limp, jacket a shade duller and darker than usual. Had he been too fast? But he couldn't allow himself to waste time when he didn't know how long she was going to stay this time! Last time she had stayed for four days only, had turned his world upside down (and saved it, by the by) and had vanished. Maybe he should have asked her first how long she intended to stay and then have adjusted his plans? Anyhow, no use in crying over spilt tea. When had a Hightopp ever given up? No one ever had, not even if he was down on the ground and almost beaten, and neither would the last one of them, certainly not! As always, he still had one hatpin tucked away, as the old saying went in his trade. With a sudden smile he turned to Alice and, in a lithe, quick and unexpected move leaned over, placed one of his hands behind her neck, gently pulled her a little towards him and placed his lips on hers.

His kiss tasted of strawberries. It was the first thing that came to Alice's mind, long before she noticed the oddness of the situation: a stolen kiss over upset china und spilt tea; tender lips on hers, demanding yet gentle in their doing; the Hatter's hand on her neck, four soft fingertips and one bethimbled, a touch that sent a slight shiver down her spine and caused a pleasant tickle deep down; yes, this clearly was what would have happened that day in the chamber of the Red Queen's palace, if she hadn't been so ridiculously large... But she barely had time to react in what way ever ere the kiss ended and Tarrant sat back again.

"Forgive me. Have you changed your mind?" he asked eagerly.

Alice noticed that his expression did not at all correspond with his words. No one would ever bring forth such an apology with this sincerely joyful, hopeful, trustful look of his! No one but him.

"Changed my mind to what?" she blurted out, glad to find that she had recovered her ability to speak. "You didn't even give me time to answer your question, so how could I change my mind if I haven't even made it up yet!"

The Hatter's joyful countenance left him for good and was replaced by a glum look. Naught fer usal. All lost. No hope. Why had he spoken, why hadn't he waited, why wasn't she willing to stay, why could... A hand touched his, stopped his thoughts that had started to spin and whirl.

"It's not because of you," Alice explained, her voice very soft so as not to hurt this man who had just, in this rash and unconventional way of his, presented her his heart on a silver platter. A heart she would never want to treat unkindly.

"Not?" His voice sounded worried, doubtful.

She shook her head in affirmation, her other hand joining the first one in enclosing the Hatter's.

"No. What should be wrong with you?"

"I don't know. Maybe that I've lost my mind? That I'm just a hatter, and a mad one, at that – albeit the very best hatter around – who might not be fit for the Champion of Underland? That I tend to overwhelm you continuously by stuffing you into teapots, getting you in head-risking trouble, forcing you to do things you don't want to, like slaying, and making proposals that upset you?"

"But it didn't upset me," Alice interjected. "It just – well, caught me unawares. Like a bandersnatch from behind!" She gave a laugh, but it was not answered.

"My proposal is not like a bandersnatch!" The Hatter frowned, inducing in Alice the wish to gently skim her fingers along his distinctive eyebrows so they would slide back in their proper place and unfurrow his brow that she did not want to see clouded.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I was just trying to make you smile again. I like it much better when you smile."

"So do I! It's by far not as exhausting as frowning." Thankfully there was already the first shimmer of a smile to be seen on the Hatter's face, and Alice's expression relaxed.

"What made you ask?" she queried. "I mean, I've been here for not even one full day – how can you be sure, how can you know?" How could he be so sure, and she not? She was good at making decisions, she ought to know...

"I know," was the answer. Suddenly Tarrant was sure that never before in his life he had given an answer as perfectly clear and logic as this. "I simply know. Why did I suggest you stay here after you had slain the Jabberwocky? Why did I hope for your return all the time so intensively that all of my friends thought I had gone round the bend again? Which would mean, assuming that sanity is a rectangle, I would have to go round the bend once more and would return to sanity, provided I had started at one corner..." He giggled at this thought, and also Alice couldn't suppress a smile. Then he gently moved one hand over her cheek, rested it there, looked at her with these bright, green eyes, mirrors of a self deeply hidden in the tangles of madness. Eyes that now were unclouded, clear and hopeful. "I would do anything to make you stay, and I figured that asking you this question must be the only way to keep you here." He paused. "Are you not sure?"

Alice knew that this was the moment when she could win what she had always dreamed of – or lose everything. A moment more fragile than glass. She felt her heart rage in her chest with nervousness, then decided to speak the plain and simple truth.

"What made me hesitate was the thought of my family," Alice admitted at last, after a moment so long Tarrant had already begun to wonder if Time had stopped again. "I don't know if I'm ready to leave them forever. And I don't know if I'm fit for a life here in Underland. It's all so unfamiliar and... wondrous, and yet part of me knows that I belong here. It's not easy, you see..." She could feel that her stammering was definitely not what Tarrant had been waiting, hoping for, so she just came to the point to end his suspense. "But if I found a way, if I could make up my mind at last, I would like nothing better than to be with you, Tarrant."

The Hatter showed no reaction. That was, unless one looked very closely. Alice had expected some exuberant demonstration of delight as was his custom, but instead, she saw an expression of deepest, most perfect joy spread over his face, this slight smile spoke of it just like the shimmer in his eyes and the softly brightened colours on his face, all this more sincere than any outburst of mad happiness.

"You see, there was no need to change my mind!" she added softly and gently pressed his hand.

"Oh dear, so it was one kiss spent in vain..." Tarrant said after a short, thoughtful pause.

"What..." As quickly as Alice had found her tongue, as quickly she lost it again.

The Hatter assumed a serious expression.

"Well, as to kisses," he explained, soft-voiced, "they should never be given lightheartedly, you know. As no one has so far been able to find out how many kisses you have in store, it is rather unwise to give them away thoughtlessly, for you can never know when you might run out of them. And running out of kisses would be most, most unpleasant, wouldn't you agree?"

Alice gave a hearty laugh, she just couldn't contain herself anymore and only hoped it would not raise the wrong impression.

"Oh Hatter, you truly are the most unbelievable, most insane and most wonderful man I have ever met. But –," she paused for a little smirk, "I can return this kiss to you, if you want..."

"That you would do?" It was impossible to tell whether his incredulous countenance was genuine or contrived. Alice strongly suspected the latter and snickered.

Yes, there it was again – this much-beloved Alice-grin! She had not changed, his sweet Alice. Except for growing up, that was. Considering this, he truly had to thank Time for getting stuck for him and his teaparty until little Alice of years ago had grown to this Alice. Could be a good thing, to kill Time every now and then. And it felt good to repeat the name Alice in his mind again and again. Almost as good as feeling it on the tip of his tongue every time he voiced it. Whereas, it was still more wonderful to feel Alice herself on the tip of his tongue, as he had just experienced...

"Well, actually I would very much like to keep yours, but a few of mine in return should make up for it..." he heard her whisper in answer to his previous question when she leaned towards him, interrupting his contemplation.

No doubt, she decided. Strawberries.