CHAPTER 14

It's been three weeks since the funeral, all in all four weeks since Donna's death. Believe it or not, things have been great. Me and Jax haven't had to jump through any hurdles yet. I've been spending almost every night at Jax's house helping out with Abel. Even me and Gemma have been getting along.

As for Opie he's been out of town, trying to clear his head. It bugs me that he isn't spending time with his kids the way he should be, he's the only parent they have left. Therefore, Mary is still in town to help out and unfortunately when I want to see the kids she is there.

I asked Gemma to bring by Abel to run some last minute tests.

"He's perfect." I tell her

"The echoes?"

"Absolutely clean. CBCs, CMPs were all normal. His weight needs to come up a little. Other than that"

"He's still real fussy with the feedings." Gemma says

"Could be the lactose, we can try a soy base."

"I don't wanna turn him into a little vegan pussy."

I laugh and joke "He can drink it in his wife beater onesie."

"Oh. Dr. Funny."

"How's his sleep apnea? - You're there pretty much every night."

"Times I'm there, he is sleeping fine." We got lucky with that.

"Good." She nods at me and smiles down at Abel in the car seat.

"I gotta call Jax, let him know everything is ok. I'll catch you later?"

"Sure thing Doc."

I smile at her and start ringing Jax's cell, I'm excited to talk to talk to him. When he answers I'm the first to talk.

"Hey, baby."

"How's the kid?" he jumps straight into asking.

"That is one tough little man, Lab work is all good. Heart and tummy looking strong."

"That's great." He say seeming a little off.

"You okay?" I ask him

"Yeah. I'm just in the middle of it."

"Am I gonna see you later?"

"I don't know. I gotta drop something in Hayward. And then we got Bobby's party. You gonna come? Would be good for him to see you. Gemma said she'd stay with the kid."

"Yeah I'll come by."

"Okay. That'd be good."

"Wait, before you go I wanted to ask you if you have heard from Opie at all?"

"Yeah err actually he came back today."

"Really? Well erm I'll pop by and see him later"

"He'll be at the party; you can see him then."

"Yeah right if of course, well I'll see you later, Love you." I tell him

"I love you too." He tells me back and my heart melts.

We started telling each other that we loved one another right after Donna's funeral because it just felt right. Our feelings where clear and the timing was perfect. We were lying in bed one night and I was reading Johns manuscript, out of the blue he turned to me and said "I love you" I said it back and we didn't need to discuss it further.

I decide to not wait till the party to see Opie so I drive over to his house on my lunch break where he's fixing something up in the garage with dad.

"Hey stranger!" I tell him and he looks pleased to see me and jumps right into a hug.

"Hey sis."

"I keep telling him to get out this damn garage and go see his kids." Dad interrupts us.

"Dad" I tell him off.

"No Cara its gotta be said. I don't give a shit how bad you feel Ope. You need to pull your sad little head out of your ass and go be a father. I'm tired of carrying your damn water, boy. It ain't your fault. And it sure as hell ain't theirs." He yells then storms off to his bike.

"Love you too, pop" Opie says to himself.

"Well that was … unexpected."

Opie doesn't say anything and gets back to the bike he was trying to fix.

"You know; I can hear a little bit of sense in what he's saying."

"If you are here to give me a lecture about how to bring up my damn kids then you can get going too."

"Look, I'm not. It's just, don't you wanna prove to our mother through there that you can actually look after your kids? If I had a kid I would."

He looks so pissed. I hold my hands up at him "Just saying."

"I'm getting shit done, ok?"

"You mean like pre retaliation?"

"Actually, I was talking about the bike. I'm not discussing club business with you. You're an old lady."

"What the hell happened to you?"

"My wife died."

Just then Mary came walking through from the back.

"Why don't you just give him a minute Cara." She tells me.

"Oh please, why don't you do us all a favour and shut the fuck up."

And I figured that was my que to leave so I got back in my car and went back to work.

It was time for Bobby's party, when I turned up it was already getting roudy and so was Bobby himself. On my way to find Jax, Bobby comes staggering towards me.

"It's good to have you back Bobby"

"It's good to be back Darlin" and we both hug eachother. "There' someone verrry special waitin for you in there."

"ooo really?" and I start laughing, pat him on the back and headed towards the clubhouse.

Jax is standing by the pool table area smoking next to Tig and Chibs.

"There she is" Jax says to me and lifts me off the ground in a hug. He leans down and kisses me "missed ya"

"You gonna hand me a beer or what?" I ask him and all the guys start laughing.

"Anything for you." He winks and grabs me one from the bar.

Jax puts his arm around me

"I went to see Opie." I tell him and take a sip of my beer.

"Where?"

"At his house? Where else?"

"Aw just wondered that's' all."

"What's going on?"

"Nothin" he stands behind me kisses me on the neck and starts massaging my shoulders. "Just relax"

"mmhmm"

He leans down to my ear to say "I'm gonna head soon, you comin?"

"But I just got here?"

"Did you really wanna come in the first place?"

"True" I say and turn around to face him. "I'm gonna go find Gemma first then I'll meet you back at the house?"

"You willingly want to talk to my mom? You're really stepping out of your comfort zone today don't ya think Doc."

"Oh shut up" I tell him and kiss him on the lips and go find Gemma.

Gemma is in the church room with Clay when I find her.

"Sorry to interrupt but I'm gonna call it a night soon and was wondering if I could talk to you for a sec." I say look at Gemma.

"Well I know when I'm not wanted" Clay jokes "Good night Cara" he tells me on his way out the door.

"Goodnight" I tell him back and I close the door.

"Everything ok?" Gemma asks me

"I just wanted to run something by you actually."

"Rigghht."

"How do you um – how do you know when someone is lying to you."

"I know a lot of things Cara but that's a trick question right?"

"No I mean like with –"

"Would ya just come out and say it? Gemma ushers me

"I think Jax is lying to me about something."

"Like what?"

"Well I think maybe with Ope. When I mentioned going to see him he was all on edge and stand offish"

"That's weird" she says and put her hands on her hips.

"Yeah"

"Probably club shit. Does he tell you anything?"

"Not really, I mean I don't ask. I have a rough idea of what goes on"

"You need to decide if you want to know everything or nothing. Either one – that's it."

"So I've just gotta hit the nail on the head?"

"Yeah, sometimes it's easy if you do it in the moment like sucking his cock or something, when he's weak and vulnerable you know?"

"I am not doing that. Like ever"

"You'll figure it out."

"I hope"

She walks more towards me, puts her hand on my shoulder and says "Go home to your man, Cara."

And that's exactly what I do.

When I get back to Jax's house he's in the shower and he's left the door wide open and all his dirty clothes on the floor. This is the life I now live, picking up laundry and having to tell him to shut the bathroom door in case the nanny walks in.

I smile at his naked body and lean down to pick up his stuff from the floor to put it in the dryer, I stop when I feel something a little damp coming from his jean pocket. When I pull it out it's his handkerchief covered in blood. Now I feel like I know what he's being hiding.

He begins to come out of the shower and wraps a towel around his hips when he looks at me he notices what I'm holding.

"You wonder why I run away from shit all the time?"

He looks down.

"It's because I don't trust anyone. If you had just told me what you've been getting up to which clearly involves my brother because of your awkward responses – we wouldn't be in this situation right now."

"You wanna know?"

"Yeah, I do. And not just what you think I can handle. All of it."

He takes the handkerchief from my hand and says "I helped your brother kill a man today – retaliation for Donna. Shot him in the head."

I don't know what to say.

"The reason I acted strange when you said you wanted to see Ope was because I didn't know where he would be and what state he would be in. I didn't want you walking into somethin and I didn't know if it was my place to tell you what we did."

I still don't know what to say.

He wipes his face and tells me. "I'm going to bed."

I'm left standing in the door way of the bathroom. I want to tell him is ok for what he did, I mean really I expected it but after what he just told me it tallied it all up and I didn't have a reason to yell at him anymore.

When I go through to the bedroom he is asleep on the bed. I climb next to him too put my arm around his waist, I woke him so he grabs my arm and kisses my hand.

I whisper into the back of his head. "Thank you" and shortly fall asleep.