A/N: Y'know how I gave you guys two chapters in one day? Well, since it was my birthday (I'd only just remembered), I started on a third! *Blows on miscellaneous device that goes "ploot"* Unfortunately, I didn't finish it, so you get it today instead.
You want a screenshot? I GIVE you a screenshot! Go to "i (dot) Imgur (dot) com/XuoAT (dot) png" to see, without spaces and bla de bla. You know the drill. Enjoy the screenshot. I've got an account there now (imaginatively titled "TWIWWF") so I'll probably post more pictures, including stuff of the town if you want. ;)
I leapt out of bed with a spring in my step, joyous because the wondrous chernobylvictim302 had helped me fix the issue of buggy pumpkins and diamond armour. Of course, there was no change to the world directly around me, but Steelfeathers Enchanted felt all the more enchanting just because I knew the errors had been fixed. I went outside aimlessly and did a little dance in the street before heading right without any clear destination in mind. Soon I was out onto the plains where I couldn't resist dancing again, skipping back and forth on the edge of a pond and delighting in the beauty of the Minecraft morning. I hoped dearly that I wouldn't get over this. Iron sword in hand and clad in protective leather, I felt rather more confident about heading back to the caves and getting some more ores. I'd love to see their textures, too. I turned around and headed back towards my mine, breaking into a sprint and letting out a little laugh of pleasure. I loved this. Suddenly I discovered that I was beyond the town's borders; I had totally missed the entrance to the mine.
You must be completely blind.
I turned around, frowning, and made my way back at a far slower pace. Ah, there it was; I headed down the steps and into the torchlight, marvelling at the truly smooth stone. Everything seemed so much more real. I moved quickly down the steps when a dark thing to my right caught my eye; gravel! I could use this to repair the street! I harvested fourteen pieces of it and dashed back to the surface, where I found the broken path and repaired it.
Well, that looks better. On to murdering things.
Cheery.
I try. Let's go kill us some horrible evil little venomous bugs, eh?
No! Not those again!
Triston will give you an achievement, won't you, Triston?
"I will? Oh, uh, I will!"
Yes. You will.
I rolled my eyes. Fine. Back down the stairs and into the caves, down Loony's Passage (as I had come to think of it) and past the grass-bridged pit, to the lava-fall (a deeper maroon thanks to the texture pack) that illuminated everything faintly red and to the end of the tunnel where the cave spiders were. Here goes... I mined away two cobblestone blocks and then a staircase down to the water. I placed a torch on the wall; already those horrendous arthropods were piled up trying to get at me, bodies jet-black and eyes glowing red. Their AI eventually guided the around the mine shaft's supports and towards me; I flailed at them with my new iron sword and stained the waterfall greenish-black for a moment with their insides and death-dust. Ew.
This is no time to be getting squeamish, fool. Go bust that spawner.
The string that the spiders dropped was washed away by the current, but I didn't care about that so much; the fires of the spawner stood out clearly in the dark. Oh, gosh... I dashed through the water, droplets flying everywhere, and machete-sliced some cobwebs out of the way. I slammed a torch down on the floor in a clear spot and whipped out my pickaxe, wincing at the deafening clang, clang, clang, as I brought it down on the alien material that made up the bars of the cave spider spawner. In the texture pack it was a forbidding cage with silver bars and a brownish top, the fires inside grinning at me evilly as they flickered, threatening the creation of another coal-dark beast. The tongues of flame gave no empty threats, though, for a cave spider poofed into existence that moment and stared at me for a second as though contemplating how I would taste.
Charming things, aren't they?
I stared at for a moment, horrified, right arm still hacking at the spawner rhythmically. I had mere seconds before the creature leapt; ! CLANG! The cage burst into a thousand silver shards and the arachnid leapt, managing to get its venomous fangs into my neck before I could throw it off and run it through, guts and then death-dust flying everywhere. Ew.
Squeamish little girly-girl.
I just slaughtered a nest full of spiders! I am not squeamish!
I'd call you not-squeamish if you hadn't said "ew".
Oh, come on! Can't you at least give me a little- hey, I'm not poisoned anymore...
You're welcome.
You did that deliberately to take my mind off of it? That's so sweet, Mélodieux!
No. That was just a fortunate side-effect of my taunting.
Oh. Y'know, I kind of hoped that-
There's another spawner.
NO FREAKING WAY. Where is it? I sliced some more cobwebs out of the way – the following hallway was choked with the things – and looked down a passageway to the left. There were the cage's flames, leaping and dancing in the dark to show off their brilliance. Oh, great. I swung my sword around randomly to get rid of the cobwebs, managing some pretty skilful tricks if I do say so myself.
Of course, if anyone else had their say on the matter...
Quiet, you. Soon I neared the spawner and was greeted with the sight of another cave spider's red eyes rushing towards me, uninhibited by all the sticky matter in the air. I yelped in surprise and swung my sword, but it got a hit or two in before I killed it. This was just wonderful. I was closer to the spawner now and whipped out my pickaxe, planning on smashing it to smithereens, when suddenly it seemed three cave spiders sprung into existence and pounced on me, hanging on with dagger-like claws and trying their best to rip me to shreds...
"YOU DIED."
WHAT. Triston, how could you? I was floating in the void now, staring at a red-tinged view of a bunch of cave spiders that appeared to be eating me. WHAT. I had died. Again. Seriously. Well and truly kicked the bucket, gone sleeping with the fishes, was pushing up daisies, done whatever other euphemism for dying one can think of.
Well. That was pretty spectacular. Hurry up, now; all your things will disappear in about eight minutes or whatever it was.
I sighed. "Respawn me, please, Triston," I asked aloud, voice echoing strangely amongst the nothingness below the world.
"Respawning now," he informed me.
I woke up. My head was being attacked by some jerk with an electric drill and there was a ringing in my ears, then the feelings were gone as my health returned to full.
All that was left was the silence of the void.
"Hello?" I said aloud. At least, I thought I did; I couldn't even hear the sound of my own voice. "Crap," I added, not that I could hear it. I shook my head and looked out the window; the sky was deep indigo and monsters roamed the grass, their calls and cries falling on my deaf ears. My hands and backpack were empty and I knew I'd lost my armour, too; eight minutes to retrieve my items or they'd be lost forever. Great. My hearing probably wouldn't come back that quickly, either; I fiddled with the volume control on my computer, but that worked perfectly and the one in-game made no difference despite the fact that it was on one hundred per cent. How far into the night was it? There was no way I'd have time to get my things come morning; I was doomed.
Stop being so depressing. You still have the equipment for a sword; make one and get down there! There's no time to lose!
I went outside to check the time; it wasn't even past midnight. There would be no time to get the contents of my bag in the morning. I'd have to go now. Back downstairs, I nearly broke the clasp on the chest in my haste to open it, flipping the lid back in a rush. A stone sword that looked more like a knife caught my eye and I ripped it out with fervour. There were no iron ingots in there, though, and I knew I still had a great many of them; even more incentive to return to the underground and reclaim my possessions.
Onwards and here's to hoping you don't die again!
Herrrrre! BAM! My hearing made a triumphant return in a blaze of glory or something along those lines, revealing to me a zombie growling as it knocked charitably on someone's door, hoping to grace them with an early Christmas carol or maybe a free vacuum cleaner.
In your dreams.
Yeah, I know, I thought with a sigh. It was nice to dream; at least I could hear now. Sound couldn't have returned to me at a more inopportune or bloody terrifying time, however. I supposed that, as guardian of Ir Qas, I'd have to save the testificates under attack. Darn.
So much for not dying again.
SHUT. UP. I took a deep breath and rammed the door open before I could think, frantically trying and failing to close it behind me. Eventually I just gave up and whipped around, conveniently to the left and in the direction of the house that was being attacked. I charged with a noisy battle cry, but the two zombies that were trying to break down the door barely noticed me as I hacked at their backs, focused as they were on the easy prey inside the house. They weren't dying quickly enough, though, and I was running out of time so I left them as one figured out how to turn the handle and politely closed the door behind him. I killed the other (it had dropped an iron helmet, score!) and dashed off the street and onto the grass, dodging an arrow and panicked out of my mind. A spider seemed to yell my name as it began to pursue me; I skirted a creeper, but another one and a group of skeletons conversed up ahead next to a wheat field. The spider was on my tail, but I backed up and found myself falling down a hole. Wait, a hole? I turned to the left, where stairs led downwards; I had found my mine! I scuttled down the steps and ran the wrong way a few times in my haste, but finally I was in Loony's passage and dashing down there towards the grass-bridged pit. Okay, stop here and put your helmet on... I did so but fwiit-thuk! An arrow barely missed me, hitting the stone block behind me. I yelped in surprise and turned around; a skeleton was staring at me with empty eye sockets, grinning its deathly grin. I nearly swore with frustration and tenseness, charging it and taking an arrow to the shoulder before killing it with a few swipes of my stone sword. Perfect; I collected the two bones it dropped before skirting the moonlit grass-bridged hollow and leaping down the stairs towards the lava-fall; both these places would need better names, I decided, but that would have to wait. Perhaps my loyal reviewers would be creative and suggest some-?
GET YOUR BLOCKY BUTT INTO THAT CAVE RIGHT NOW, GIRL!
Ah! Right! Yes! I jumped down the cobblestone stairs and down what was spontaneously the Spider's Way, across the waterfall beyond and there was a dark pit, on the other side of which the mine shaft continued. I could have sworn this hadn't been here before.
"Brrd-rrd," an enderman said.
Shcee-ee! At a spider's cry my jaw dropped open and anger flared within me.
"AS THOUGH I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW! BUZZ THE NETHER OFF, YOU HORRIBLE CREATURES!"
Oh my goodness. Temper, temper.
"ACHIEVEMENT GET! 'Absolutely Terrifying,'"
"YOU BET I AM!" I screamed again as though my voice was on caps lock before shaking my head as though to clear it. Now was no time to be getting distracted by fury. I backed off a little, preparing to take a run-up and sprint-jump across the gap between the mine shaft and where I stood now.
Go.
I broke into a sprint and soared over the chasm, preparing for a hard landing on the wood...
My head hit a support in the way and I stopped in mid-air slapstick style before plummeting into the pit.
I may or may not have sworn.
TO BE CONTINUED!