"Do you have the list of questions ready?" Xander asked.
"Here it is," Batman replied, passing it over.
Xander scanned the list. "Number one is useless, I bare some of the responsibility for creating Metallo, so of course the answer is yes."
Batman made a correction.
"I'm still indirectly responsible, since I'm the one who set him against Superman, and thus all Kryptonians," Xander pointed out.
Batman scratched the question off the list.
"The rest of the questions seem reasonable," Xander allowed, "but remember no asking me anything not on the list and that includes someone pulling a fast one and writing questions on it in invisible ink or questions composed of the words in the other questions rearranged to form a different question."
"That's twisted," Superman said, shaking his head.
"But a valid interpretation of the agreement," Batman allowed.
"You'll make sure they keep to the written questions and cover my mouth if any other questions are asked?" Xander asked Wonder Woman.
Wonder Woman wrapped her magic lasso around her hand. "I swear by Hera's name that if anyone asks any question you have not agreed to they shall feel my wrath." She was not about to trade questions with Luthor like she had with Mercy!
"Alright then, I'm ready," Xander said extending an arm for Wonder Woman to wrap her lasso around.
Once everything was ready, Batman picked up the list. "Why did you save Power Girl?" he asked.
"Because she was in trouble and I could help," Xander replied.
"Remove the lasso," Batman instructed Wonder Woman.
"But this is only the first question," Superman said
"Yes, but I'd like to modify the questions and I can't ask for his consent if he's under the lasso's influence," Batman replied.
"Can I ask if you had any ulterior motives and what would they be?" Batman asked. "That would eliminate several of the questions we have listed."
"Sure," Xander agreed with a nod.
Wonder Woman wrapped his hand with her magic lasso once more.
"Did you have any ulterior motives for rescuing Power Girl?" Batman asked.
"Sure," Xander agreed.
"Ah ha!" Superman exclaimed feeling justified in his suspicions, but all Xander did was chuckle.
"What were they?" Batman asked.
"Let's see… There is the natural male chauvinism on my part that says a man can't be a man if he stands by and allows a woman to be assaulted, there is also the little monkey hind-brain that says showing off will impress women and improve the chance of mating, there's a small selfish part that says I can show up Superman by doing what he can't. I've also got a bit of a belief in karma and by saving Power Girl, who will go on to save countless others, I'm doing far more good than I'd ever manage on my own and lowering my karmic debt. Also, I can't overlook that saving others will improve my own popularity and my opinion of myself."
The three stared for a second and then exchanged glances.
"Did you have any prior knowledge of Metallo's new weapon and where he acquired it from?" Batman asked.
"While reading a book on Celtic Demon summoning in high school, I came across a reference to 'The Fire of The Gods', which was just a fancy way of saying 'Living Flame'. They used a magical device called an alchemical furnace to turn the mana generated by magical items into Living Flame. The use of Kryptonite (which are just pieces of Krypton that radiate tainted mana) as a power source was rather ingenious, but as you saw it was in no way able to handle that amount of power," Xander explained, wistfully recalling all the research parties he attended.
Xander shook his head as the magic of the lasso encouraged him to continue. "Sorry, just got lost in thought for a moment. I'm not aware of where he got it from or even who could actually modify it for his use."
Batman nodded. "Did you know the weapon couldn't cause you any permanent harm?"
"Nope," Xander replied. "Being magic it could very well have killed me and I wouldn't have been surprised."
"I think that about covers everything," Superman said looking at Luthor like he'd never seen him before.
"Last question," Batman corrected holding up the list. "Do you have any plans for Power Girl?"
"Plans?" Xander asked himself, as the lasso guided him to the truth of the matter that he hadn't even consciously known. "I have no plans, just a lot of fantasies that I was not even aware of until this moment. Apparently, I have a weakness for blonde heroines."
Wonder Woman quickly put her lasso away before Luthor could start giving details.
"I feel better about giving you that pie now," Superman said.
"It was good pie, tell whoever baked it that they did a splendid job," Xander said.
"I will," the man of steel promised before extending his hand. "Thank you for saving my cousin."
Xander shook his hand. "It was my pleasure."
"I'll escort you to the teleporters," Wonder Woman offered.
"Thanks," Xander said, following her out of the conference room and into the hall. "By the way, how is Mercy doing?"
"Quite well," Wonder Woman replied. "The priestess of Athena has confirmed that she has the same blessings from the Gods that all Amazons carry and we may have determined who her mother was."
"Really?" Xander asked hopefully.
Wonder Woman smiled, pleased that he was showing concern for her new sister. "One of our fishing boats strayed outside of the boundaries of Themyscira and was caught in a storm a few decades ago. One of our sisters was lost overboard and thought to be dead, but from the looks of it, Persephone at least lived long enough to reach Gotham and birth a daughter."
"I really wish she could have reached a more... wholesome place," Xander said. "If she had, Mercy could have grown up with a mother."
"You think Gotham is at fault?" Wonder Woman asked, giving him a disbelieving look.
"Have you been there?" Xander asked. "It's like the city was designed to be the backdrop of every horror movie ever."
Wonder Woman smiled. "Better not let Batman hear you say that."
"The next time some alien shows up shrinking cities and trying to steal them, I'm going to 'accidentally' restore Gotham somewhere else," Xander said seriously.
"I don't think you can get away with something like that," Wonder Woman said, "too many people will be watching, like Batman."
"I'll bide my time," Xander said growing a goatee to stroke, "and when they least expect it… *BAM* the Bahamas gain a new island."
Wonder Woman burst out laughing.
"Yeah...That may be a bit much," Xander admitted. "Maybe Montana?"
"I would suggest somewhere warmer," Wonder Woman suggested. "How about Florida?"
"Too warm." Xander disagreed. "How about…"
In the Conference Room
"He really has changed," Superman said, still trying to wrap his head around the concept.
Batman meanwhile had been accessing the recordings in the conference room and had discovered Xander had accessed the computer system. "I'm still wondering what traumatic event occurred to cause that change and there is no guarantee that his change of heart is permanent."
"Yeah," Superman said perking up, before sighing. "It may be easier and less frustrating to deal with the old Lex, but everyone deserves the chance to change."
"Yes," Batman agreed absently as he read through the files Luthor had left for them to review. He tapped his com device. "Mr Terrific is Zatanna available for a consult?"
That evening
Ma smiled at seeing how their family had grown. Clark and Diana were sitting on either side of Lois… a bit of a surprise but a welcome one; she'd like to see some grandkids before she passed. Karen was sitting next to Kara, a little uncomfortable to be there, unused to family, but she'd adapt.
"So, how did he like the pie?" Ma Kent asked.
"He loved it," Clark said. "I was a little hesitant to give it to him, knowing him as I do and he knows me well enough to tell, so he volunteered to let Wonder Woman use her lasso to question him on the matter."
Everyone turned to look at him.
"Why did he save me?" Karen asked.
"Because you were in trouble and he could help," Clark replied. "He didn't even know if the flames would kill him as they turned out to be magical in nature."
"I feel better about sending him a pie now," Ma said with a kind smile.
"Could he have been lying?" Pa Kent said.
"No," Diana said shaking her head, "my lasso was forged by the gods and even they are forced to tell the truth while under its influence."
"Batman believes something traumatic has happened to change Luthor for the better," Clark explained, "and I think he's right."
"He's certainly more...humorous," Diana offered.
"He is at that," Clark agreed. "Flash has floated the theory that gaining Plastic Man's power may have something to do with that."
"But he is honest in turning over a new leaf?" Kara asked hopefully.
"It seems so," Clark agreed.
"Why so interested?" Lois asked curiously, sensing a story.
"No reason," Kara said quickly before turning to Karen. "So… going to marry him?"
It took a minute for the table to settle down enough for Karen to explain, "I was joking. I told Kara that since Lex saved my life, gave me a new outfit, and I didn't have to worry about hurting him that if he was still a decent guy after a year had passed I'd allow him to propose."
"Well you are his type," Diana offered.
"Magic lasso?" Karen asked, figuring it had somehow come up under questioning.
"It surprised him too," Clark offered.
"Regardless we rarely interact so I doubt him having good taste really changes anything," Karen said with a smirk.
Kara grinned, relieved her distraction has worked.
"Enough about work," Ma said Turing to Clark. "How did you three get together?"
"Well," Lois began, "it started with me discovering that one of my great-great-great grandmothers was Kryptonian."
This time, everyone stared at Lois.
"Did I forget to mention that?" Lois asked.
"Yes, but considering what was going on I can see how it slipped your mind," Clark replied.
"Well, as it turned out, my Kryptonian genes conflicted with yours so I had the computer search for a compatible gene set," Lois explained.
Ma Kent gave a happy little squeal
"That's what you were celebrating," Diana realized. She smiled. "I had just dealt with Poison Ivy, and that rather strange Dryad had covered me with pollen of some sort that I needed some help with."
"We got…. rather involved and found it agreeable," Clark said, trying not to blush.
"Very agreeable," Lois added with a smirk.
"What DNA did you use?" Kara asked, not wanting to contemplate her cousin's sex life.
"No Idea," Lois replied unconcerned, "it was discovered during one of Batman's cases and is from somewhere in time, probably the future, but it allows me to do this."
Lois stood up and split into three.
"I can do my job as a reporter," one said.
"And be a stay at home mom," the second added happily, making Ma Kent grin broadly.
"And paint," the third one added.
"That looks to be very useful," Pa Kent said with a smile.
"If you think three is useful..." Clark said with a grin before pulling out his cellphone. "Batman was kind enough to give me a copy from the Watchtower files.
He pushed a button and the sounds of the village people began to play…
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Xander winced as another panel blew up in a shower of sparks. "They never show all the explosions an evil genius goes through when trying to invent something," he complained, before signaling for a couple of technicians to replace the board.
"Sir," one of the scientists said nervously, trying to catch his attention.
"Yes, what is it?" Xander asked distractedly.
"I believe the problem lies with the sensors, sir," she said nervously, well aware of her boss' temper. "It's too sensitive and is causing feedback."
Xander considered that for a moment. "You could be right. Set them to minimum sensitivity and adjust the targeting to… early to mid 1800s. I'm pretty sure there a lot less chronal intrusions in that time period. We can adjust sensitivity while slowly zeroing in on a chronal event for calibration."
"Right away, sir," she said, rushing off to make the necessary adjustments.
"It's a brilliant design, sir," another of the scientists said, attempting to suck up.
"Tony always was a genius at whatever he did," Xander agreed, "even becoming a time traveling ruler of all humanity while screwing with his past self to make sure he'd become him."
"Ruler of humanity?" the scientist asked confused.
"I stole the design from a time traveler from another Earth and modified it for my own use," Xander explained.
"So, we're working with stolen technology?" he asked, surprised that Luthor would admit such a thing.
"Pretty sure he wouldn't bother coming back a couple thousand years into the past of a foreign Earth to patent anything," Xander replied. "Stole just sounds more impressive than 'I examined the remains of his armor and memorizing the sections I could use'. Stole at least sounds a little exciting."
The scientist chuckled. "Stolen it is, sir."
Three Hours and many explosions later...
"Finally," Xander said as the machine hummed along, monitoring tachyon particle disruptions and absorbing an infinitesimal amount of chronal energy without causing an overload of the insanely sensitive sensors they were connected to. His fingers danced across the keyboard as he designed a program that would translate the incoming data into a visual format.
The image on the screen resolved into a blond man in buckskin breeches and a white shirt, wearing knee high teal boots and teal leather gauntlets, vanishing in a flash of lightning.
"The calibration isn't enough to pinpoint the date," a female scientist noted, "but a rough estimate puts it at late eighteen thirties to early eighteen forties."
"But what are we seeing?" another asked.
"Max Mercury," Xander replied, "AKA Windrunner. He's the first Flash and he just broke the time barrier."
"The rumors about The Flash are true?!" one of the scientists exclaimed in horror.
Slav-erhmm Typing by: Dangasaur