As requested, this one's for you miceaholic... *grins* hope you like it! (if you noticed a recurring theme here it's mainly because I kept lots and lots of one particular rodent when I was younger).

Alternative Endings: When things go horribly wrong

11. Big Trouble.

"Is it just me, or is he really dumb enough to think she's ever going to fall in love with someone like him?"

"Can't blame the guy for trying... Just wish he had done it the normal way... not like some sort of bizarre fairy tale."

The mouse's assessment of their latest predicament was not far off the mark. Having completely messed up the latest orders from his bloated boss, failing spectacularly at pulling off a heist of raw sulphur, the fumbling flunky Greasepit had accidentally managed to make himself the size of a 3-story building. Well, no, that wasn't quite the whole tale. He had first only made his left fist the size of a SUV, but was gullible enough to think stepping entirely into the path of Karbunkle's latest ray gun would actually fix him.

Limburger was hoping his newly enlarged henchman would take the opportunity to stomp around the city, destroying a few city blocks whilst flattening the furry hides of those do-gooding rodents. He hadn't considered the oil-covered oaf would take some time off to go and play 'house' with his latest infuriating infatuation...

Falling head over heels for Charley had been the last thing the Plutarkian, or the three mice, expected the half-wit henchman to do.

"How come she gets to live in that neat little house and we're stuck in here anyways?" The white-furred Martian mouse pressed his face to the bars of their cage and stared longingly towards the mansion-like structure opposite.

"It could have something to do with the fact she is human... and we're not..." Throttle glanced around their impromptu accommodation with a distinct air of bemusement. This had actually been quite clever of their captor really, a sign that perhaps there was something between the thick thug's ears after all.

"Yeah well... I can't say I like this arrangement much. I miss my own bunk, and I really, really miss having a bathroom." For the grey mouse, this strange situation was far too much of a reminder of somewhere else he had been forced to live once. "And i'd kill for a root beer right now too."

Whilst the amorous intentions of Greasepit had made him want to treat his love-interest like a queen, he hadn't felt the need to extend the courtesy to the angry trio who had stalked him the entire way to his house. He had gotten fed up of them shooting at his ankles (which to him felt a bit like being bombarded by vicious nettle stings) and as soon as he had arrived home he had torn off the roof of the modest-looking semi and pulled out an old hamster cage from the attic below. After zapping it with the ray gun, the cage was now more than big enough to house the three rodent rascals, who were still pestering him to let go of their human friend.

From the elevated position in Greasepit's free hand, Charley groaned as she saw the three furry bodies being grabbed by their tails and deposited in the dusty pen. She had been hoping they would have saved her from the lusting lug-head before he tried to woo her with anymore ridiculous poetry. Oh guys.. this is getting old now, any time today would be nice...

Half an hour later the swooning simpleton had extracted another of his childhood toys from the roofless house, and having placed it carefully on the trampled flowerbeds outside, he turned the particle enlarger on that too.

"Here you go miss Charley-ma'am, a nice big house just for youse..." The gushing goon placed had his precious cargo inside the gigantic child's dollhouse, and sank to the floor to watch his beloved settle into her new home. "If only I was smaller... we could lives happily ever after..." He giggled, imagining the two of them together forever, with no more bad-smelling Plutarkians to come between them and spoil their fun. Pity those mouseys had to come too... but at least now I gots myself these three new furry pets, and i'm sure my lovely lady would wants me to keeps them. His mouth turned into a thoughtful frown. He still didn't know how he had lost the last nine hamsters he had tried to keep in that wire-topped cage.

The dazed damsel took in her own new surroundings with bewildered amusement. She never knew Limburger's stupid super-villain even had a home beyond the tower's walls... let alone such a normal-looking dwelling on the city limits. Or that the child-like cretin had once had such an obvious liking for traditionally girl's toys.

This doll house was actually in very good condition considering the clumsy nature of its owner, indicating it had been either ignored or a well-loved and cared for play-thing. She suspected the latter. He was giving her a verbal tour of the wooden building with the detail and skill of the best realtor money could buy. I hope he doesn't actually expect me to stay here... does he think the kitchen and bathroom appliances are really going to work just because he made them bigger?

"Urm, not that I don't think this place is lovely and everything... but I really want to go home now if that's ok?" Charley spoke at the top of her voice to try and be heard over the ramblings of her romancer. He had just finished describing the master bedroom, and had been quite explicit of what he wished would happen in that room. Eeww... gross... though I do think it's kinda sweet he's going to fill every single vase in here with my favourite flowers.

Her plea went completely unnoticed, and Greasepit moved on to musing about whether or not the lounge needed redecorating. The woman rolled her eyes, and decided to find her own way out of the multi-story building.

She had nearly made it out the front door when her oleaginous observer spotted her. He quickly slammed the swinging front panel to the house shut, locking her inside. "Oh noes you don't miss lovely ma'am. You stays right there now, I gots to go get something nice for our romantic little candle-lit dinner..."

Charley groaned. This wasn't how she planned on spending her first weekend off in ages. Might as well get comfy... she thought, flopping herself down onto the king-sized four poster that had been detailed to her earlier. His parents have a lot to answer for... who the hell gives a henchman in the making the most expensive toy mansion ever made to play with?

Meanwhile, three jealous Martians were themselves considering taking an afternoon nap. Somehow in the process of enlarging the small-animal enclosure, the ray gun had also strengthened the material it was made up of. Modo had had no luck in blasting them out with his arm cannon, and even the combined force of all their laser weaponry had not made the slightest dint in the rusting metal. The bars of the cage were also mostly vertical in alignment, which made it near impossible for them to find enough leverage to push the hinge-door above them open either.

After their fruitless exertions in trying to escape, they had looked at the lump of fibre-bedding that had been shoved in the corner of the cage with a strange longing. The urge to get off the scratchy sawdust litter and snuggle down into something a little softer was almost overwhelming.

"Umm... you know seeing as we can't do anything else... why don't we... you know..." Vinnie gave his two bros a 'no one's looking... why not?' kind of look whilst gesturing discretely to the material the goon had provided. Despite their outward objection to lowering themselves to such a thing, they too found the temptation irresistible. Before long, three velvet-coated bodies were curled up in the wool-like nest together, their tails wound around each other's legs whilst their soft snouts nuzzled into warm fur of their companions.

From the top floor window Charley could see the weird yet infinitely adorable pile of fluff in the cage corner. Muscle-clad warriors they may be on the surface, but curling up together like their smaller Earth-counterparts suggested something else entirely. Oh guys you are so damn cute when you're not acting all macho. Darn it, i'm missing out on some good blackmail material right now.

She lay herself back down on the model furniture. This wasn't so bad, she thought, and it was only a matter of time before Greasepit shrunk back to his normal size again. The only thing that really worried her was what would happen if their respective dwellings did the same whilst they were still inside them.

The next morning the mechanic woke to find a huge pair of eyes staring right at her. After the initial shock ("YIKES don't do that!" Urgh... it wasn't a dream then...) she realised her love-struck warden had managed to somehow prepare her a full plate of cooked breakfast (she suspected that the misguided monster's mother still lived in the 3-bed suburban semi) and a steaming jug of black coffee.

She had no intention of starving herself whilst in his 'care' and so tucked in, whilst keeping half an eye out for any signs the gargantuan was reverting to his normal size.

By contrast, the three jailed 'gerbils' were not impressed by their meagre offerings.

"What the heck is this stuff?" Modo prodded the rock-hard green and pink lumps in the ceramic bowl before him. The dish also contained a variety of seeds and dried fruits (the latter at least looked edible), and was quite clearly the result of the ray gun being fired at a shop-bought mix of rodent chow.

"Uh... this looks a lot like..." Throttle picked up a sliced of dried banana the size of a hub-cap and sniffed it suspiciously. "Yup. Hamster food. Yay for us... let's hope he doesn't expect us to... VINCENT!"

The tan mouse had not relished the idea of once again being regarded as nothing more than someone's captive animal, although this time round it had at least been a lot more comfortable, but when he spied his youngest friend clambering onto the large wheel affixed to the side of the cage...

"WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" He yelled much louder than he really meant to, but it was an indignity enough being forced to use one corner of their housing as a bathroom in full view of anyone who might care to investigate (and why no one had yet was a mystery...), without his bro taking his new role of petrol-head's pet mouse seriously as well.

"What? This is great fun, I always wondered what it would be like to have one of these..." The white mouse carried on running on the exercise wheel with no thought as to the significance of their latest situation to his two bros. "Uh, when we get home can we get one... for the scoreboard?" His innocently cheeky grin revealed far more about the Martian's secret desires than either Throttle or Modo cared to explore.

The gentle grey mouse gave his tan-furred comrade a knowing look. "He's forgotten hasn't he?"

"Uh huh... add it to the list bro, we can remind him about that one at a later date." Throttle's stomach clenched with anxiety. He had hoped he would never, ever have to speak about that particular set of memories buried deep inside his mind, and he knew that Modo shared his sentiments. They hadn't spoken about their long interment in the despairing depths on the edge of the city to anyone. Not even to each other.

The two bikers resigned themselves to their unappetising fare, and each took a piece of the engorged dry fruit to nibble. The lack of moisture in their meal made them incredible thirsty, and to their dismay they realised there was, unfortunately, only one source of water available for them to access.

"Oh man... you mean we gotta use that thing too." Throttle looked at the stainless steel spout with its ball-bearing controlled drip-feed. "I hope you brushed your teeth before we left the garage bro..."

"Speak for yourself Throttle, my mouth is as clean as a whistle. Can't say the same for him though." Modo pointed his thumb at the mouse on the wheel, who apparently had tired of running bipedally and was experimenting with doing it 'hamster style'. "Remind me to smack him when we get back... jeez..."

Grimacing at the thought of sharing a water bottle with the foul-mouthed white mouse, Throttle lapped as much water as he could whilst the tube was untainted. He felt like a complete idiot the whole time his pink tongue worked the steel ball, and vowed to find some very nasty way to repay the humiliation the giant goon had subjected them to.

Inside the house, Charley tried her best to suppress the laughter at the site of Vinnie pedalling the plastic wheel like a rat on steroids. She knew that the other two mice would be horrified enough without her adding insult to injury.

It's been ages... how long does it take for this to wear off anyway? She was of course still thinking of the effects of Karbunkle's impractical invention. Surely can't be much longer...

She had her fingers crossed the transformation was impending. Greasepit had just pulled out a box of clothes from the roofless-loft, and they looked suspiciously like the kind of things a young girl might borrow from her mother. He liked to play dress-up? This guy's got some serious gender issues he needs to sort out. Charley groaned. That box was heading her way, and there was no way she was modelling its contents for anyone, especially not the ogling orang-utan practically oozing with romantic desires.

Thankfully for both the mechanic and her three studly hamster-boys, Greasepit was not doomed (or blessed... depending on perspective) with spending his life as a giant whilst dressing up his living, breathing human 'doll'. As soon as he shrunk back to his original size, Charley whipped out her holstered gun and stunned the disappointed dunderhead; then quickly found herself the means to free the three mice from their prison before it too returned to normal proportions.

It turned out the unconscious employee of Limburger's spent most of his free time at the house in the suburbs, and according to his mother still liked to get out his old toy box from time to time. She herself was a sweet little old thing, and had no idea what her son got up to when he was working. She pointed Charley to her late-husband's tool shed, and the mechanic quickly found some rope and scaled the mice's cage to its metal roof.

After a bit of a struggle, she managed to wrench open the rusty hinged door, and the mice used the rope to clamber out to safety. Moments later both the cage and the doll house were back to their original, miniature dimensions.

Afterwards, they were treated to a full, home-cooked meal by their captor's generous maternal host, who also delighted them with albums full of pictures from his youth. Three very grateful mice and one very happy human then clambered full-stomached onto their motorcycles, and returned to the comfort of their preferred abodes in high spirits (they couldn't contain their mirth at the image of baby 'Greasykins' in his fairy outfit at his infant school's Christmas play).

Whilst Charley made sure never to let the two older mice know how amusing she had found their predicament, when alone with the third she teased him mercilessly, and threatened to send the non-existent photographic evidence she had supposedly taken of him on the hamster wheel over to his friends back on Mars. It was an excellent way to make sure Vinnie actually did remember to brush his teeth before bed.