The following day at the office was eventful, leaving no time to sit around and wallow in my thoughts. Ferg, Vic and I were all out and about on separate calls throughout the day, and I feel like I only saw Vic for a total of twenty minutes the entire day. Then when I got back to the office later in the afternoon, she had already gone home for the day. I headed out shortly after, stopping out at the Red Pony for some dinner before retiring to the cabin for the rest of the night.

Now it's just after 11 o'clock and I'm about to head to bed when I hear a knock on the door.

I open the it to find my beautiful deputy standing there nervously.

"Vic?" I can't explain it but her expression scares me a little. I look around to make sure she's alone.

"Hey, can I come in?" Her voice doesn't seem as panicked as she looks.

I relax a little. "Uhh, sure." Opening the screen door, I step aside and let her slip inside. "What's up?"

She walks in and stops in the middle of the room, looking back at me. "I can't sleep."

I frown. "I'm seeing a pattern starting to develop here."

She starts pacing back and forth in the living room. I'm not sure what to do or say, which also seems to be a pattern, so I just stand there and watch her silently. She looks like she wants to say something, but instead she just goes back and forth.

I wait.

I realize that this whole thing is my fault, and it makes me feel bad. I'm the one dragging my feet with this, not her. I'm trying to figure things out, but it's hard when I see her every day. I can't sort the feelings in my head out when she's around, she makes it too hard. I hate to stress her out like this but it's not fair to her if I dive into something I'm not ready for either.

I really do feel bad that I got us into this whole mess. "I guess it's probably my fault you can't sleep."

She snorts, and continues to pace. "Pretty much. I see you're not sleeping either."

I sleep. It's just not very restful sleep when she clouds my dreams. Even there I can't escape from her.

There doesn't seem to be an easy solution to our problem. Well, I guess I'm the one with the problem. "So, what do we do?"

"Well, we're both awake, I can think of a couple of things to pass the time," she smirks over at me as she continues to pace. I think she was kidding, but when I don't respond she stops in her tracks and looks over at me.

Of course I'd love to take her up on it, but I just can't. It's not fair to her.

She walks over and stops right in front of me. She reaches out and grabs the front of my shirt, running her hands over my chest. "That wasn't a no," she cocks her head to the side and looks up at me.

"I didn't say yes, either." I do that, remember? My mind tends to wander when she's around and I forget to speak.

She grins up at me. "Ok. You don't have to say anything." She reaches up and places a kiss at my jaw just by my ear. She locks her eyes on mine for a second as she moves to do the same at the other side of my face.

There's this other problem that I have. I'm not very good at telling her no.

She moves to my neck and I feel her tongue graze the skin. I grab her waist and try to push her back gently before this goes any further. I'm not ready for this. She grabs my hands with hers and continues on my neck.

"Vic."

"I told you not to say anything."

I move my hands from hers and try to push her back again but she stops me. "I know, but–"

She silences me with a kiss, and I want so badly to kiss her back but I freeze. She realizes I'm not returning her kiss and a few seconds later she pulls back and stares up at me, her eyes a little wide. I see the hurt in them and I instantly feel terrible. I don't want to keep letting her down.

She takes a deep breath and leans forward, resting her forehead on my chest, I'm assuming she does this to hide the tears that are starting to well up in her eyes. She speaks softly into my chest. "I'm sorry. I need to stop kissing you."

"It's okay." I don't like that she's sad now. I can't seem to do anything right. I bring my hands up and rub her shoulders gently.

"I'm not trying to pressure you… but sometimes I can't help it."

"It's not your fault, I'm pretty irresistible." I try to cheer her up.

She laughs into my chest, and it's a good sound.

She pulls her head back so she can look up at me. "If I promise to back off a little bit and give you time and space to think, will you do me a favor? No questions asked?"

I try and swallow the lump forming in my throat. "That sounds dangerous."

"It's not. Promise." Her eyes don't leave mine.

I might regret this, but I've already turned her down once and I can't bear to see disappointment on her face twice in one night. "What do you want?"

Her hands at my waist begin to tug at my shirt, untucking it from my jeans all the way around. I trust her when she said she would be backing off, but I can't stop my heart from racing at her touch. She starts at the top and undoes each button one by one. When she gets to the last button, she slides her hands slowly up my stomach. It's taking just about every ounce of will power I have not to kiss her right here. She continues her hands all the way up my chest so she can slide the shirt off of my shoulders. I bring my arms up a little allowing her to tug it the rest of the way off.

I realize that I've been holding my breath this entire time, and I let it out slowly as I watch her raise up my shirt and clutch it to her chest.

Does she even realize the effect she has on me?

She stares back at me for a few moments, her eyes locked on mine. "If I'm going to keep my promise, I better go."

She's probably right, my will power is lessening by the minute. I lean forward and kiss her gently on the forehead. "Goodnight, Vic."

"Goodnight." She walks towards the door, but once she reaches it she glances back at me. "Don't make me wait too long."

I nod my head and force a smile as I watch her walk back to her truck.

It's not until she's already driven down the street that I finally form a response.

"I'm trying not to, sweetheart."