A/N: OMGEEEEEEZ! Never thought this story would last this long and I've still got a million ideas for this! Okay, let it start!
So I spent the night at Hunny's house again. It wasn't too bad and his parents were really great about it. Yasuchika happened to have a project to do with Satoshi so it was just Hunny and I that evening. (PLUS HIS PARENTS! Geez I'm not that irresponsible.)
The next day, the Club was waiting for us at the gates. Kyoya immediately sent me to the infirmary. (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANNA GO!) I went calmly. (…sure…) And they did a general check-up on me, (aww, Kyoya actually cares) then I went to class in my piss colored uniform.
At the Club that afternoon, we had a generic look-good-and-serve-tea day. I was sweet, Hunny was cute, Mori was silent (as usual), Tamaki was annoying, Kyoya wrote…something, Haruhi was naturally charming, and the twins were slightly yaoi-ish. Ah, just another normal day.
Afterwards, when Haruhi and I had finished cleaning, Tamaki called a meeting. "It's time to announce the cosplay theme for Halloween."
"Wait," I said. "It's still September! Why are we planning Halloween now?"
"Correction my darling neice! (Neice? Wtf since when am I related to him?) It is now the second to last week of September and we must plan for our Annual Halloween party!"
I perked up. Party? Halloween? YAY! I've never been to one! Seriously! We always had one of our own, but my dad and I reeeally wanted to have one of those crazy classic ones, bobbing for apples, cakes with hands coming out of them, punch that looked like blood, all that cool stuff. Mom of course was the party pooper…we had a party, but it was all prim and shit…you know, dress like Marie Antoinette, sexy maid costume for the maids (Zakuro wore fangs with hers…it looked badass.), NORMAL stuff. I hated it…so when mom's party was over, she allowed my dad and I to have a mini party with the maids and other people. Ichiru made the food a couple days before and we all watched scary movies until we passed out in the home theatre. It was sooo much fun.
"Really? I'm in." Tamaki blinked, surprised (oo shocker) and continued. "Every year, we have a theme, last year was vampires, and the super amazing awesome theme for this year…is…"
doon Doon DOON! We looked over. Mori used a timpani for the sound effect…he seriously had one...right next to me. (WHERE DID HE COME FROM? AND HOW DID I NOT NOTICE?)
"Any way, the theme this year…is…" We all leaned forward a bit. "…I don't know." We all slumped over. Seriously? We even brought out the musical instruments and got excited! No fair!
"BUT! I have someone who does know!" He snapped his fingers and I heard a generator. The floor began to shake…THE APOCALYPSE? Then from the middle of the floor, a platform raised itself up and on top of it was a girl with light brown hair, a bow, and she wore…a Haruhi Suzumiya cosplay uniform*? Okay…can you say fangirl?
"Kotone, this is Renge Houshikugi, class 1-A. She is the manager of the Host Club, she helps us with some of our themes," Tamaki said, helping her down from her platform.
"Yes, thank you Tamaki-senpai for that introduction. I am…! [insert enthusiastic spin] The manager." [cricket cricket] She caught sight of me. She walked over and began inspecting me. She pointed at me, "YOU ARE PERFECT FOR THE PART OF FUMIKA FROM SHIGOFUMI*!"
Umm….wtf? "Uh, no that's okay…I'm Suzuki Kotone-"
"Class 1-B huh? Or have I missed seeing you in 1-A?" She gave me a cheesy smile.
"Um, actually I'm class 2-A with Kyoya and Tamaki…" She blinked.
"NO WAY! SO YOU'RE ANOTHER LOLI TYPE? Oh wow that works perfectly, your Club character can be an adorable sensitive girl who hangs out with Hunny-senpai, the mean bully from Class 3-A! And-"
"Renge?"
"Yes?"
"Um…I'll say this in otaku language so we both know what I'm saying." The twins' eyes grew large.
"She speaks her language?" I took a deep breath and said calmly:
"Renge, I'm not an anime character…I, like you am human." [Host Club gasp] "I'm not like Fumika, whoever that is, but if you wanted to describe me, label me as a sidekick in a shonen manga." Her eyes dawned comprehension. "I'm kinda like Rukia* because I'm short but pack a punch if you mess with me. And I'm kinda like Luffy* in the way that I can sail and I love the water…only I can swim. I do hang around Hunny-senpai, and like him I have a sweets complex which resembles Naruto's* affiliation to ramen. Around the customers, my character is like Tohru Honda* on steroids, you know like the cute, innocent, take-care-of-you type? I serve tea and help Haruhi clean. I also play the harp about as well as Mitsuki sings in Full Moon wo Sagashite*, or Ikuto in Shugo Chara* with his violin. I used to live in America*, though I doubt my character is anything like his except I like burgers, and that about ties up everything."
The Host Club was lost…they had no idea what I said. Renge nodded however. "I understand you perfectly!" We shook hands.
"Nice cosplay by the way."
"Thanks! Okay everyone, let's gather around so we can discuss Halloween!" Everyone carefully walked back to the table…still baffled by our confusing otaku speak.
"So, after researching for hours on a suitable theme that will best appeal to ALL the customers, this year's theme for our Halloween party is…" [Mori again played the timpani.]
"SAILOR MOON*!" No FUCKING WAY. She did a happy dance. The rest of the Hosts (except Haruhi who had no idea what that was) looked horrified. (Well, Mori's eyebrow twitched and Kyoya adjusted his glasses, but it still counts.)
"Renge?"
"I'll get all the measurements and we will begin constructing the costumes immediately!"
"Renge?"
"Of course only Kyoya could be Tuxedo Mask, and then that means I would have to be the lovely Sailor Moon. I-"
"RENGE!" She glanced at me. "As interesting as that is, you're forgetting that you are asking guys to dress up as FEMALE superheros. Search deep within your fangirl self and I'm sure you know that this is NOT appealing to customers."
She blinked. Then her face fell. "Yeah…I guess cross-dressing is only for yaoi-fangirls…" She brightened, determined again. "Okay then! Our new theme is going to be-!"
Please let it be something awesome! "Fullmetal Alchemist cosplay!"
A/N: From here on out, beware of Fullmetal Alchemist character spoilers.
I couldn't help but fist pump. "YES! SCORE!" I did a mental happy dance, then turned to the rest of the Club…
…who had completely clueless looks on their faces.
Tamaki broke the silence first. "Kotone, what is Fullmetal Alchemist?" Oh geeze how do I explain this… "Well, umm…"
"TO MY HOUSE!" Renge screamed. For the next couple hours, she lectured all of us on what Fullmetal Alchemist was and the series and the characters and anything else you could possibly want to know about them. We met up the next day to further discuss the theme (since no one really knew much about it). Everyone was given homework of watching the first 5 episodes. (Cinch for me, I already watched that series like 3 times, BOTH seasons.)
"So! Now is the pivotal point. We must choose…" She slapped down a pen and paper (which looked an awful lot like the one Kyoya used) on the table. "…who shall cosplay as who!"
Tamaki raised his hand enthusiastically. "OOoh! Since I'm the King of the Host Club, I recommend myself for the part of Edward Elric!"
Renge nodded in approval and began writing on the paper. "Um, Tamaki," I asked. "I have no problem with you being Ed, but…"
"Isn't he supposed to be short?" The twins finished for me.
"Well, yeah," I said. Tamaki returned to his emo corner.
Hikaru yawned. "In that case wouldn't Hunny-senpai be better for the part of Ed, since he's about the same height?"
From atop Mori's shoulders, Hunny called out, "No, that's okay Hika-chan! I already had my eye on another character."
Renge's head snapped up. "Ah-hah! I like your dedication Hunny-senpai! Who would you like to be?"
"I'd like to be Wrath from season 1. You know, the kid."
"You know Mitskuni, I think that would suit you, it would be completely opposite your character, but that would be really cool. Don't you think?"
I turned to Haruhi, who looked bored, who was also being molested by the twins, who were now staring at me.
"Did you just call him 'Mitskuni'" OH SHIT I DID! BAD KOTONE! Quick subject change…
"Um…Haruhi, who do you want to be?"
"I don't know. I've never done an anime themed dress up before…"
"Then you can be Winry, my darling daughter! Only you would be suitable as the female protagonist," Tamaki said WAY too enthusiastically.
She pushed her way away from the twins. "Who is Winry again," she asked me.
"She's Ed's childhood friend, whose also his mechanic for his automail arm. She's kinda a tomboy and she enjoys throwing wrenches at Tama-Edward…" I gave her a wink. She smiled slightly.
"Sure, I guess I could be Winry."
Hunny looked down at Mori. "Who do you want to be Takashi?"
His eyes swiveled up to meet Hunny's. "Colonel Mustang."
I snorted, smiling. "The Flame Alchemist?" He ghosted a smile and nodded. He knows the awesome! I inwardly giggled.
"That leaves Hikaru, Kaoru, Kotone-senpai and of course myself," Renge counted off.
Hikaru raised his hand. "Can I be Greed? I think he looks cool."
Renge shrugged and wrote it down. "That's good, but who would Kaoru be?"
"I did a bit of research, and I thought that I could be Envy, that way we can still do our twincest act in character and we would both be Homunculi."
"Very well! Then that only leaves Kotone and me!"
"Which characters are left? I'll be whoever so it works out even."
"Well we are still missing Al, but I think you're a little short to be him…you could be a Homunculus…OH! I KNOW! You would be perfect as Lust!"
No FUCKING WAY. "No." Renge blinked, as did the rest of the Club.
"Why not Koto-chan," asked Hunny.
"Because…she's…not really my character…"
"Well isn't that the point of doing a cosplay? You both look a lot alike," she said holding up a picture. The boys of the Host Club blinked.
"Wow, er…that's Lust," Tamaki asked, put off by the girls' Double D's.
"You see why I don't wanna play her?"
"Well someone HAS to be Lust," Renge wailed.
"Renge, if you're so determined that someone should be Lust, why don't YOU play her."
"Kotone-senpai, you wouldn't mind?"
"Nope."
"Oh good! Truthfully, I already have a costume for her, this is gonna be great!" Wonderful! Have fun looking like a slut. Don't get me wrong, I like Renge so far, but I don't feel like parading around in a Lust costume…ugh. "So who are you gonna be?"
I thought a second then grinned. "I'm gonna be Lieutenant Hawkeye."
The Club knew enough to fear me. Tamaki had already started crying. "My niece is gonna have a gun!"
"No I'm not! It'll be a water gun or something, I'm not gonna shoot anyone!" Well, maybe the twins…"Besides, my duty is to protect Colonel Mustang, that's all…"
Mori patted my head. "Please take care of me," he said with a small smile.
I grinned. "You mean protect you from Wrath whose gonna be on your shoulders the entire time."
"Ooh! Irony," said the twins. "We like it." They gave it two thumbs up.
Then it occurred to me…"Um…Hey Renge, can I see that list you made?"She nodded, still in her fangasm and I took it.
"Aww SHIT!" Renge stopped twirling, and looked positively horrified. The twins looked mildly surprised at my language, Haruhi raised her eyebrows, Hunny was daydreaming of cake (I think) Mori had covered Hunny's ears, Kyoya was adjusting his glasses, and Tamaki died.
"Kotone-senpai…what's wrong?" She looked scared. YES OTAKU! YES! FEAR THE WRATH OF THE SHORT ONE! MWUAHAHAHA!...ahem.
"Renge, please have a seat…this may come as a shock." She sat down faster than I could say 'upholstery'. "Renge…" I said solemnly. "WE DO NOT HAVE AN ALPHONSE ELRIC!"
"WHAT? NO!" She burst into tears. "This is terrible, the cosplay is ruuuuuiiined!"
"Um…Koto-chan, what's the problem," Hunny asked, finally freeing his ears from Mori's grasp.
"We don't have anyone to play Ed's little brother…and he's got a pretty big part in the cosplay."
"Then why don't you do it Kotone? After all, you're the one who said you would play anyone," Kyoya said.
"Kyoya, I already have a part, and plus I'm not tall enough to pull off the 'empty suit of armor look'. You're not playing anyone, why don't you be Al?"
"I've already got a character picked out. I'm going to be the other main antagonist, Scar."
"The Ishvalan?" Wow, didn't see that coming, but hey, it kinda suits him…
"Hmm…this is a problem…" Tamaki said reincarnating himself. "We don't have any other Club members, is there anyone we could ask to play him?"
"I guess we could, but who? We need someone tall-ish…but not taller than Mori-senpai because the armor needs to look empty, someone with great mental discipline, and someone who is good at martial arts…how the hell are we gonna find someone like that?"
We all paused to ponder a second…then…Renge lost it.
"OH IT'S NO USE! WE SIMPLY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH PEOPLE TO DO THIS! WE HAVE FAILED! THE PARTY IS GOING TO BE A COMPLETE DISASTER! WE WILL NEVER RECOVER!" She blew her nose loudly in a handkerchief, then the door burst open.
"WILL YOU KEEP IT DOWN? WE CAN HEAR YOU ALL THE WAY FROM THE MIDDLE SCHOOL DOJO!" It was Yasuchika, the bastard coming to complain about something or another.
Wait…Yasuchika. Pause. Lightbulb*.
"Hey Yasuchika," I said walking toward him.
"What do you want you freaky alien genotype*?"
I will ignore that statement…for now…"Can you fight in armor?"
A/N: *I don't own the Haruhi Suzumiya series, Shigofumi, Bleach, One Piece, Naruto, Fruits Basket, Full Moon wo Sagashite, Shugo Chara!, Hetalia, Sailor Moon or the Fullmetal Alchemist series.I also don't own Dispicable Me or TFS Dragonball Z Abridged.
Yes, this is gonna be good. But like I said, beware of Fullmetal Alchemist character spoilers. Also if you want explanations why who is who, leave a comment and I'll tell next chapter. BYEEE!