I looked up from my book when headlights swept the front windows. Jake was back finally. I glanced at the clock as I stood, stretching tiredly. I was not looking forward to what was about to happen, especially not at two in the morning, but I couldn't avoid it. Joys of parenting and all that.

A few minutes later, the back door opened and Jake and Lucas came in, their faces so similar it was eerie. Jake's had more lines and sharper angles, but they both wore the same furious expression, their black eyes alight with angry fire.

"Lucas, are you ok?" I breathed, stepping forward and pulling my tall son into a hug. He resisted at first, his body stiff against mine before he finally relented and hugged me back.

"I'm fine, Mom," he muttered. "Just a little sore."

I nodded and stepped back, assessing him in the brighter light of the living room. His face was cut and bruises were forming, as was a black eye. His lip was swollen and there was dried blood on his chin and the front of his shirt. His knuckles were also swollen and bleeding.

"What happened?" I asked quietly as Jake settled in Dad's chair.

"Can we talk about it tomorrow?" Lucas scowled. "I'm really tired."

"Tough shit. Sit down and talk," Jake growled.

Lucas shot him a mutinous glare but obeyed, sitting on the couch with his arms crossed petulantly over his chest. He stared at the empty fireplace and refused to look at us.

"Lucas, honey, what happened?"

"I was arrested. That's generally how you end up in jail," he retorted.

"Lucas," Jake's voice held a hint of warning "you'd better watch your tone."

"Or what? You'll hit me like you hit Mom?" Lucas demanded defiantly. "Go ahead. I won't take it like she did."

I stared at him in shock. "Lucas."

He turned to me. "How many times has it happened, huh? I read somewhere that it's never just once."

"In this case it was," I said firmly. "And we are not here to discuss problems your father and I had in the past. We are here to discuss why the hell you were arrested for battery. What happened?"

He scowled and stared at the fireplace again. "Some guy was mouthing off so I hit him."

"Lucas, where the hell did you ever get that that was acceptable behavior?" I sighed, settling on the couch beside him.

"I just said: Dad."

"You did not learn that from me," Jake said angrily. "I pushed your mother once and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I also apologized, groveled and begged for forgiveness. You did not learn that hitting was the first go-to in an argument from me."

Lucas didn't say anything but his scowl intensified.

"Who was it and what did they say?" I asked gently.

"Some asshole from school and I won't repeat it."

"Lucas, sweetie, you could be sued for this. You broke someone's nose."

"The guy's an asshole, Mom. I already told you that. Anyone who knows him wouldn't convict me."

"The judge doesn't know you or him. Maybe if we knew what he said we could help…"

"He called me a worthless half-breed, ok? He said my father was probably an alcoholic who beat my mother and my mother was a whore who couldn't do any better than an ignorant lazy redskin and the reason there's five of us is because you're too stupid to use birth control."

I stared at him, horrified. Jake's hands curled into fists automatically. "Who?"

"Jake," I said sharply. "Remember what we're doing here? No violence."

"No one talks about my family that way," Jake growled.

"I'll say."

We looked up and saw Dad standing in the stairwell, his eyes flashing angrily, just like Jake's and Lucas'.

"You give me the name son, and I'll make sure he doesn't speak about my daughter and grandchildren again."

"Enough," I said tiredly. "Yes, he's an asshole but he clearly doesn't know us if he'd say such a thing. None of that is true and you know it so why let it get to you?"

"Because it does," Lucas exploded. "Dammit, Mom, we don't fit in anywhere. We're half white so we don't fit in here, we're half Quileute so we don't fit in out there. We've been fighting this shit since we were old enough to understand what they were calling us and believe me, that was pretty damn early."

I stared at him again, surprised. "Why haven't you said anything?"

"Why? So you could talk to the other kids' moms and make it worse? No thanks." He shifted in his seat, his arms still crossed protectively over his chest.

"Yeah, Bella, talking to kids' parents rarely helps." Dad sat down on the other side of Lucas. "Especially with a situation like that. They probably learned that malarkey from their parents."

Jake stood up suddenly, startling me. He started to pace back and forth in front of the fireplace. "I should have known," he muttered, more to himself than to any of us. "I had to face some racism growing up. I just didn't think it'd be that bad for them since you're white, Bells."

"Who the fuck cares what color our skin is," I sighed, rubbing my face. "It's just the shit that keeps our insides in."

Lucas finally looked at me then, his eyes wide. I flushed slightly and patted his knee. "You didn't get your foul mouth from just Dad, kiddo. I could swear with the best of them at your age."

Jake chuckled softly, the tension lifted slightly.

"So what do we do?" Dad demanded. "Do I get to shoot someone? I haven't shot anyone in a while."

"I'm sorry Dad, but no. I really think that this situation warrants a conversation with parents. I know it's the pussy way out and it loses street cred for all of us, but that's what I think. As the mom, I know I don't get a lot of thought around here, but I should get some say in what we do."

There was silence in the living room as Jake continued to pace and Lucas started picking at the dried blood crusted on his face. I swatted his hands away and pushed myself up, heading into his bathroom and grabbing a wash cloth. I wetted it and came back out and sat on the coffee table in front of him, wiping carefully at his face. He winced but didn't say anything.

"Ok. We'll do it your way," Jake said finally. "I'd rather kick some ass, but your way is probably better."

"Of course it's better," I muttered, pressing the cold wet cloth against Lucas' eye to help with the swelling. "I'm a wife and mother. My ideas generally are about preservation of my family."

Dad sighed. "Can I come and bring my gun?"

"No."

"Even if I promise to bring it unloaded?"

I hid a smile and shook my head. "Go to bed, old man. You'll need to be here to watch the other kids."

"Ness is old enough," he pointed out as he pushed up from the couch. "Fourteen is old enough to be babysitting."

"It is, but not her 10 and 11 year old siblings."

Dad waved a hand dismissively as he climbed the stairs back to his room. Jake settled back in his seat and I resumed my place beside Lucas while he held the rag to his eye. Water dribbled down his cheek and wet the neck of his t-shirt.

"Who is it?" I asked quietly.

"Steve Newton. We were hanging out with a bunch of guys at the beach and he started talking trash about a couple of the other guys. I told him to shut up and he turned on me. I told him to leave me alone and he didn't so I hit him. Then I just…didn't stop."

I stiffened. "Newton?"

"Yeah. His dad owns the sporting goods store in Forks."

"Fuck me slowly," I groaned. "I went to school with his dad."

"Mike?" Jake sounded incredulous. "Mike got someone to sleep with him?"

"Apparently," I sighed.

Lucas looked at us with confusion. "So you know Mr. Newton?"

I nodded. "He had a thing for me in high school."

Jake snorted. "He was your stalker, Bells. You know how many times I caught him outside your window?"

"You caught him outside my window?"I asked, startled. "When?"

"Shit, I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

Lucas looked back and forth between us. "Wait…you know Mr. Newton? You didn't date him or…anything…right?"

I grimaced. "God no. Have you met him? I'm sure the years haven't changed him much if at all. No, the only other guy in town you have to worry about me hooking up with is Dr. Cullen."

Lucas' face blanched. "You had sex with my girlfriend's dad?"

"Yes."

"I'm gonna be sick."

I grinned. "Yeah, but at least now your problems with Steve seem less horrible, right?"

Lucas shot me a look. "Can I go to bed now?"

"Yeah, go on. But you're in deep shit, kid. You're my bitch until you've repaid your mom and me the bail money. Plus, you'll have to pay for Steve's medical expenses and whatever else the Newton's ask. It sucks, but that's how we're doing it."

Lucas nodded and stood up. Jake and I stood with him and I sighed tiredly, pulling Lucas against me in a hug.

"For what it's worth, thanks for sticking up for me, sweetie."

He hugged me back but didn't say anything. I released him and stepped back, heading towards the stairs. I paused at the foot when I realized I hadn't heard Jake following me and turned. Tears sprang to my eyes when I saw Jake and Lucas hugging. I hadn't seen that in years. Lucas had been so angry at his father for so long.

Jake said something I couldn't hear and Lucas nodded, wiping at his face discreetly. I turned and kept up the stairs.

I sighed again when I reached the top.

"Ness, go to bed."

"Is Lucas going to go to jail?" she asked quietly, looking up at me with her dark eyes full of worry.

"He was already in jail, but I seriously doubt he'll go back."

She nodded, toying with the tops of her socks. "I can watch the others if you need Grandpa."

"Thanks, sweetie, but we'll be fine. Go back to bed, you've got school tomorrow."

She nodded again and stood up, turning to go back to her room.

"Ness," I said suddenly.

She turned. "Yeah?"

"Do you really get picked on a lot?"

She shrugged one slim shoulder. "It's not too bad."

I nodded. "I'm sorry. I feel like it's my fault."

"In a way it is, but we learned about stuff like that in biology and if it weren't you and Dad, we wouldn't be us."

I smiled and stepped towards her, pulling her into a hug. "I love you, you know."

"I know."

I released her and watched until she was safely in her room before making my way on up to mine. I could hear Jake behind me, locking doors, checking on the other kids as he made his way up to me. I sat down on the edge of the bed to wait.

He shook his head as he came in. "So now what? Can I kick Mike's ass in a dark alley again?"

"That was you in high school?" I gasped. "Jake, he had a broken rib."

"I caught him spying on you, Bells."

"You think that may have something to do with his son's hatred of us?" I wondered as I slipped under the covers. "Your bullying of Mike and my ignoring him?"

"Mike was a tool and it sounds like his son's one, too," Jake grumbled. "Bella, he didn't just watch you, he…you know."

I stared at him, uncomprehending at first. Then "Oh ew."

Jake chuckled as he crawled in beside me. "Yeah, he was a pervy little fucker."

"Have you noticed how our language has deteriorated since the kids have gotten older?"

Jake grinned. "I just quit swearing so much around them. I still swore at work all these years."

"Cheater."

He laughed and kissed my forehead. We lay in silence for a bit. "I have to say," he said after a moment "I'm pretty damn proud of him for standing up for his family. Not a lot of teenagers do that."

"True, but we can't let him get away with it."

"I know. I don't intend to. I won't have a son who spends time in jail or gets arrested on a regular basis. I just wish I'd seen it before now."

"Live and learn. We can't predict the future, especially not when it comes to raising kids. We think we know what's going to happen…"

"And they throw us for a loop," Jake finished, twisting his fingers in my hair.

We were silent for a long time then. I thought Jake had fallen asleep when his voice cut through the darkness.

"I had no idea he was so angry about that shove."

"He wanted to hit you that day, you know. I stopped him."

He nodded. "Maybe you should have let him. Maybe we wouldn't be here now with him hating me."

"I don't think he hates you, I think he just doesn't understand."

"I don't understand," Jake muttered.

"What'd you say to him, after I left?"

He was quiet for a beat. "I told him I loved him but I loved you more than anything else and I didn't want him to have to live with the same demons I had to live with and that if he didn't turn things around and soon, he would have worse ones."

"A single shove gave you demons?"

"No, the years of distance between us did. A couple of times I even regretted having kids and moving back, like maybe if we'd stayed in South Carolina we would have been fine."

"We're fine now. That's all that matters."

He nodded and kissed me again. "And Lucas will be fine. I'll make sure."

I hugged him close to me. "I love you, Jake, and your demons."

"I love you too, Bells."

***

Tali: Dude, I know. This is lame. Sorry. On the other hand, this and the chapter with the shove are based on some real events in my family. Loosely, but based in reality none-the-less.

On a slightly less lame note (or maybe lamer, who knows) I'm now on twitter! Its very exciting. I have random discussions with friends about random things. Come find me and let me know who you are! Talipatra. Easy enough, right? ;-I