Tweek rolled over in bed, eyes fluttering open to the familiar sight of their castle bedroom. It was almost like a second home now, with how often they'd slept there. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to recall how he'd gotten there- when did they go to bed the night before? His attention turned to the large window, the sun just starting to rise. His memory began to return to him as he sat in silent thought. Ah, that was right. With the exciting news, everyone had a few drinks in celebration.

Tweek slowly looked back to the bed, a soft smile on his face. Feldspar lay beside him, still fast asleep. He had been so tired the night before, he had forgotten to remove his hat before going to bed. The barbarian smiled, gently brushing a few stray hairs from his sleeping fiancé's face before kissing his forehead. He would let him rest a bit longer. He was likely a little hung over again, knowing his drinking habits. Besides, today was a big day. Extra sleep wouldn't hurt.

Carefully, he climbed out of the bed, the cold floor under his feet sending a shiver up his spine. Well, if he wasn't awake before, he sure was now. He tiptoed over to the small dresser on the other side of the room, glancing into the mirror. His hair was a wild mess, paint smeared all over. He really needed to stop wearing it to bed. With a sigh, he picked up a cloth lying neatly on the dresser and began to wipe at his face, glancing every few strokes at Feldspar through the mirror. If they survived tomorrow, this could be their future together. He could wake up beside him every morning, do his paints and head out into the barbarian village, the two of them leading side-by-side. It was a nice thought; perhaps unrealistic given the circumstances, but nice nonetheless. The whole point of the wedding was a safety precaution in case that fantasy never came to be.

Wedding. That's right!

He jumped slightly at the thought. He was really, really getting married today! He knew it all along, but the realization had truly set in. It was today. He scrubbed faster at his face, watching the paint disappear until he was back to his pale, freckled complexion. His hazel eyes looked himself over in the mirror, trembling slightly as he examined his features. Under all of the paint and tough act, he was really just a small, thin, timid eighteen year old boy. This wouldn't do. Not at all.

He dropped the rag back onto the table, making his way back to the bed and climbing onto it. "Craig?" he whispered, looming over his boyfriend and poking him in the arm.

Feldspar grumbled a response, still half asleep. "Hmm?"

"Do you really, really love me?"

Feldspar opened one eye, glancing up at him. "We're getting married, dumbass," he muttered sleepily, rolling back over and attempting to fall back asleep.

"Craig!" Tweek whispered again, more urgent. "Are you sure?"

"We're getting married," he repeated.

Tweek clicked his tongue, shaking his head as he muttered to himself in barbaric. "Idiot…"

"Pardon?"

"Nothing. Go back to sleep."

Feldspar didn't have to be asked twice. There was a moment of silence before the sound of his heavy breathing. Tweek shook his head in amusement, climbing back off the bed. He guessed his boyfriend had a point. Even if he was a mess, he must really love him if he agreed to get married. With that anxiety pushed to the side, he made his way back to the dresser, examining himself in the mirror again as he smoothed down his hair.

The sound of someone knocking on their door pulled his attention away from the mirror again. "What?" he called out.

"Sorry to disrupt," came a voice on the other side. Tweek couldn't quite tell who it belonged to with how soft they were speaking, but he assumed it was Chris by the formality. "The kings have prepared breakfast, for when you're ready."

"We'll be down soon," Tweek stated, glancing back at the mirror. He moved for his bag that he had left in the castle during their journey, pulling out his paints. Oh well. Might as well get started while he waited for Feldspar to wake up. Today was a special day, and he wanted to look his best. Using his index finger, he began to trace the intricate patterns along his cheekbones.

"Already gettin' all dressed up?"

Tweek jumped, attention turning towards the bed. Feldspar was sitting up, looking a little disheveled as he rubbed at his eyes.

"You always tease me for taking forever. I was hoping to be done before you got up. I thought you were tired." Tweek continued to paint as Feldspar climbed down, walking over to join him by the mirror.

"It looks different today," he said bluntly, staring at his boyfriend through the mirror.

"It's celebratory paints. You know, for special occasions." Despite his usual shaky nature, Tweek's hands were perfectly still as he decorated himself. "It's tradition."

Feldspar carefully sat beside him on the stool near the vanity, intrigued. "Do me too?"

"Hmm?" Tweek again broke focus.

"Put some on me too, then. I mean, don't wanna break tradition."

Tweek smiled at him before quickly finishing up his own face. "Take off your hat, let me see."

Feldspar quickly pulled it off, brushing his wild hair with his fingers. "Eugh…"

"Here, look up at me," Tweek said, stepping closer. He gently placed one hand under Feldspar's chin, tilting it upward. "I mean, you look fine without it, but I could do something."

Feldspar let a small laugh escape him, closing his eyes. "Do whatever you want."

"I'm surprised you're as coherent as you are," Tweek commented, beginning to paint his lover's face with the most gentle, steady hands he could manage. "I figured you'd be hung over this morning."

"Oh no, trust me, I feel like shit," Feldspar muttered, eliciting a few giggles from both of them. "But I'll manage."

Tweek shook his head at him as he finished up, admiring his work. Feldspar didn't look half bad all done up like this. "Look in the mirror. What do you think?"

Feldspar opened his eyes, looking over at himself as instructed. He didn't say anything at first, too captivated by his reflection.

"Well?"

"I look like you," he said, a hand gently touching at his cheek as he turned his head side to side. "I mean, that's not a bad thing. I kinda like it."

Tweek smiled. Mission accomplished. "Alright, let's head down to breakfast then."

"Breakfast is ready and you didn't tell me?" Feldspar gasped, giving him a playful shove. "Wow, ruuuuude."

"Don't hit your husband," Tweek teased back, beginning to put his things away.

"You're not my husband yet," Feldspar corrected, standing up and brushing at his shirt.

"You have my ring on your finger."

"Technically it's Jimmy's ring."

"Whatever," Tweek scoffed, holding out a hand to him. "Let's just go eat, okay?" The two of them took hands and exited their room, heading along the long hallway and down the stairs. When they entered the dining hall, they found Jimmy, Token, Stan and Chris already waiting for them.

"Nice paint, Feldspar," Chris said, eyebrows raised. "I thought that was your boyfriend's thing."

"It's a special occasion," Tweek said, unable to help smiling. "We thought it might look nice."

Feldspar surveyed the table's members. "I shouldn't even bother asking where the kings are at," he teased, taking a seat and marveling at the large buffet of food set out for them. They always did feed them well at the castle.

"Well, i-in case you w…want to know, they're c-coming down soon," Jimmy said, looking towards the ceiling. "They're j-j-just getting ready."

"At least they'll be joining us this morning," Tweek said, slightly shocked. With how they'd be acting, he was surprised they'd be willing to throw a wedding at all.

Just as Jimmy predicted, the two kings came walking down the stairs and into the hall.

"Good morning," Kyle said, voice sharp but still full of anxiety.

"Your highness," Stan said, a little surprised, "are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Stan," he replied, taking his seat at the table. "Just a bit excited is all." He laughed nervously to himself, shaking his head. "I've spent the last week in my dying son's bedroom; I just needed a distraction…"

Eric shot him a glance, grimacing. "I don't like it when you phrase it that way."

Kyle ignored him, trying to keep the conversation going. "I tried to see if I could get him up so he could celebrate but…ah…" He trailed off, lowering his head a bit as his smile faded. He took to quietly eating his breakfast.

Feldspar made an awkward face, feeling the tension in the room. This wasn't the way he wanted to start the day. The threat of battle and Clyde's worsening condition was going to put a damper on the celebration no matter how he looked at it. Suddenly he lifted his head, an idea coming to mind. "Can…can I go see him?"

"What?" the kings gasped in unison. Someone dropped a fork. It was silent.

"Craig?" Tweek asked, glancing at him.

"No, I'm serious." Feldspar looked around the table. "I…I haven't seen him since we left to find the monks. He was my king… if he can't come to the celebration, I want to include him somehow- especially if… if things aren't looking too good for him."

The High Elf just stared at the table, shaking his head a bit. "I…"

"Please, your highness, does he even know?" Feldspar begged.

"I…I don't even know if he's coherent enough to hear me at this point. I didn't tell him."

"Then let me."

The two kings shared a glance. "Fine," Eric said, gesturing towards the hallway. "If you insist. You know your way there."

"I'm coming," Tweek said hurriedly, grabbing for Feldspar's hand as the thief moved to stand up. "I want to be there too." He wasn't sure if Feldspar could handle what he was about to see. They stood up together, abandoning breakfast and the rest of the group to head down the hallway.

"I know he's a childish pain in the ass, but I can't help but want him to be okay," Feldspar said softly, squeezing Tweek's hand. "He was my king, my best friend… even though the kingdoms are united again, I'm still his thief. We saved him once already. I don't want that to be in vain."

Tweek nodded, leaning closer in an attempt to comfort him. "Clyde's going to be okay, remember? We're going to kill Douchebag once and for all. We have nothing to be worried about."

Feldspar just nodded, but his mind was elsewhere.

The two approached the child king's door. It had been left a crack open, the soft gleam of candlelight just barely glowing inside. With a deep breath, Feldspar pushed open the door, stepping inside.

"Oh jeez," Tweek whispered, eyes darting the other direction. Clyde lay in the bed, looking horribly green. He was almost no different than the monsters they had defeated outside of the castle. It was hard to look at him like this. His eyes were closed, as if he were resting, breathing slow. Kyle wasn't exaggerating when he said he was close to death.

"That fucking monster did this," Feldspar hissed, stepping closer. "I can't wait until we get the chance to murder him…"

Tweek only patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Me too, Craig… me too."

They approached the bed, finding two stools sitting beside it, left by the kings. They each took a seat, staring quietly.

"I almost don't want to disturb him," Feldspar whispered, voice wavering. "He looks like he's already dead…"

"We don't have to do this," Tweek reminded him.

"No, we're going to do this." Feldspar took a deep breath, trying to get himself to calm down. He extended a hand, gently shaking Clyde by the shoulder. "Your highness? Clyde?"

The boy's eyes slowly opened, but they seemed distant and unfocused as he turned his attention to the thief.

"H-hey," he said, trying to think of what to even say. "I'm… we're back, and we have the Nagasaki now. We're gonna kill Douchebag for you, okay? We're gonna fix this." Clyde just stared blankly at him.

"Just keep talking," Tweek said, trying to encourage him. "I don't know if he's going to respond."

Feldspar took another breath. This was harder than he thought. "I…Clyde, there's something I wanted to tell you. We wish you could come and see it, but… me and Tweek are getting married."

For a split moment, Clyde's eyes appeared to light up as he stared at Feldspar, the corner of his lips twitching into a smile. Very slowly, he extended a sickly hand from under the sheets, reaching it towards him.

"Yeah, yeah… we are," Feldspar said, a little more hope in his voice. He took the extended hand, smiling. "We're going to get married before battle tomorrow. Kyle said we can do it in the field behind the castle. Tweek gave me face paint, and maybe he'll convince me to wear something nice…" Tweek giggled. Clyde almost seemed amused. "Jimmy gave us rings, so it'll be proper. I thought you might like to hear about that. You always liked parties."

Clyde only smiled weakly again, still unable to speak.

Feldspar almost didn't want to let go as he set his hand back onto the bed, watching that look in his eyes fade away. He was back to being so still and quiet… back to being nearly dead.

"I'm glad he at least got to hear that part," Tweek whispered, leaning his head onto Feldspar's shoulder.

"Yeah… me too. I just wish he would be able to see it."

"Maybe after this is all over we can have another celebration?" Tweek's voice was full of hope. "I mean, a bigger one. Maybe with more people, with more time to plan. One he can watch."

"I'd like that I think," Feldspar replied. He hoped they could make it to that point. "Let's just get through the first one, alright?"

Their hands met again as they stood back up, getting one last look at Clyde before turning and walking out the door. They went back the way they came until they reached the dining hall. Everyone turned to look at them.

"I told you, he doesn't even respond…" Kyle sighed, staring at his plate of food unhappily. "It's hard to even talk to him. It's like he isn't even there."

Feldspar nodded. "I… I think he understood me, at least a little. He smiled when I told him about the wedding."

Kyle looked up, a sad smile on his face. "If only that wasn't out-of-the-norm, these days…" He sighed, pushing back his seat as he stood up. "Enough of that now. I promised you a wedding, and we're having a wedding."

Feldspar smiled, the excitement finally setting in. "What do you have planned?"

"Well," Kyle said, "we were thinking about that field behind the castle, but… since this is a special event, maybe we should try something a little more… grand."

"As in?" Eric asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Kyle, don't be fucking this up."

"I'm not!" he snapped, shaking his head. "Trust me, it'll be great. I know what I'm doing."

"Sure," he sighed, rolling his eyes. "Where is it, then?"

"I was thinking the village just below the hill. You know, Red Robin? I thought it might be nice to get out of the castle."

"A Red Robin wedding, huh?" Stan said, considering it. "That would actually be pretty nice."

"Then it's settled," Kyle said, standing up from the table. "I'll get everything prepared and we'll have the ceremony at sun down. That gives us the rest of the day to get ready."

"We have a little time to ourselves then," Tweek said. "Should we be preparing for battle in the meantime?"

"That should be the least of our worries right now," Kyle corrected, still clearly trying to distract himself.

"But-"

"Barbarian, that'll be enough."

Tweek fell silent, shaking his head in amusement. "Alright, I trust you. Don't fuck it up." With that, he grabbed Feldspar's hand and began to leave the room, relishing in the shocked expressions on the royal guard's faces as he exited. That's right, I just told the king not to fuck something up, he thought, grinning.

"Dude, if you weren't the hero of Zaron, he'd probably execute you on the spot," Feldspar said quietly, rushing alongside his fiancé as he was pulled down the hall.

"What can I say? I love abusing my privilege." Tweek couldn't help the cocky tone in his voice. With how well things were going, he had every reason to be acting out. It made him feel proud and strong. It was a stark difference from that morning.

Feldspar just giggled, rolling his eyes. "Whatever, your highness. What are we gonna do until the wedding, then?"

Tweek glanced over at his boyfriend, eyes full of mischief as he studied his painted face. "I just thought some time alone might be nice. You know, since the wedding is tonight and the battle tomorrow. We're gonna be awfully busy."

Feldspar's eyes lit up, catching his drift. "I see," he said simply, realizing that Tweek had been leading them towards the castle bedrooms.

"Well?" he asked, stopping in front of the room, his hand on the door.

"Don't mind if I do." Feldspar placed his hand on top of Tweek's, allowing them to open the door together…

"This is looking amazing, your highness," Stan breathed, looking around the village square, hands on his hips with admiration. The area had been prepared beautifully. The entire place was surrounded by tall, thick trees that had been decorated with lights and flowers. Near the center was an archway, covered in similar florals that cascaded down to the stone pathway. A long rug had been laid on the ground leading up to it, sets of white benches sitting on either side. It was clean and traditional- exactly what the warrior had expected of his king.

The High Elf stepped forward, brushing off his hands on his robe. "I'm not really sure how those barbarians have weddings, so I decided to just go more… simple." He admired the setup for a moment more before heading towards the arch, standing under it. "I'll administer the vows myself, of course… I don't trust Eric to do it."

"I wouldn't trust him either, sir." The warrior placed his hands against his chest, a sympathetic smile on his face. He almost hoped it was him under the archway with his king… or perhaps the beautiful warrior he'd met on his quest. Both options seemed nice. "It'll be great, I'm sure of it."

Kyle laughed to himself, looking back at his right-hand man with exhausted eyes. "I remember when I was that young… even at your age, it was fun to imagine what my ceremony might be like. It's a bit late for that now, though… I didn't think I'd see something this grand come along until Clyde was old enough." He laughed again. "Boy, was I wrong."

Stan shook his head, almost embarrassed to be called young by the king. Sometimes he forgot just how old the elf was. "There's been a lot of surprises lately, though, hasn't there?"

Kyle smiled, nodding. He continued admiring the archway, almost lost in thought. "I sent Chris to deliver the word to the kingdom this morning… hopefully we'll get a decent turnout. It is our last hurrah until the battle, after all. We could all use a little hope right now." He extended an arm towards the flowers along the arch, plucking one out and sniffing it gently. "You never know what's going to happen out there."

Stan remained silent, watching attentively as the king circled the area in a final check.

"I think we're about ready. Would you mind going back up to the castle and bringing down the betrothed? People will probably be arriving soon."

Stan nodded, heading towards his horse and climbing up. "Will do, sir. I'll have them down in no time." With that, he began to ride the short journey back up to the castle.

Tweek looked in the mirror, hazel eyes examining his every feature for the second time. The day had been a rollercoaster of emotions, going from anxiety to excitement to pride right back to anxiety. They had both reapplied their facial paints, combed back their hair, and dressed in the ceremonial robes they had worn just a week before at the celebration that had put their quest in motion. This was real. This was happening. The barbarian played with his black-thorn crown, trying to calm himself. It was almost time.

"Hey, we'll be fine," Feldspar said softly, noticing Tweek's anxious behavior. He stepped beside him, meeting his eyes through the mirror. "It's just a dumb wedding."

"Yeah, but…it's important, you know? We're gonna be like… official now." Tweek closed his eyes, trying to avoid the eye contact.

"I'm gonna be right here with you no matter what happens, wedding or not. You've got nothing to worry about." Feldspar quickly pecked his cheek, stepping back away from the mirror. "You look amazing though, if that's what you're stressing about."

Tweek opened his eyes, a small giggle escaping his lips. "You look handsome, too." A knock at the door distracted him before he could say much more. "Oh jeez…"

"I got it," Feldspar said, making his way towards the door. Tweek moved over to the bed, quickly moving the blankets back into a more suitable position to try and focus elsewhere.

"Uh… sorry to disrupt, but everyone is ready down in town." Stan's voice caught the barbarian's attention despite his best efforts. His head jerked upwards to look at Feldspar, holding the door open.

"You ready?" the thief asked, holding his hand out towards him.

"I guess so," he replied, leaving the sheets and walking over to join his boyfriend. "Ready as I'll ever be, I guess. And that's not really, if you're wondering."

Feldspar laughed again, pulling him close. "Come on, we got this." He led his boyfriend down the hall with Stan, right out the front gate of the castle to the horses waiting for them. The two climbed up in their usual position, Feldspar holding tightly to his fiancé as they took off towards the town at the bottom of the hill.

"What'd you think the place looks like?" Tweek asked, trying to distract himself.

"Probably all flowery and stuff. You know, elf-ish." Feldspar rested his cheek against the barbarian's back. "Trees and shit. I dunno."

"You're great at explaining things, aren't you?" Tweek teased, giving him a nudge with his elbow. "Is the Elf King doing the vows, too?"

"Yeah, I think so." There was silence.

"You're talkative," Tweek commented sarcastically, rolling his eyes. He pushed his own anxiety aside, glancing back at his boyfriend. "You nervous too?"

"Yeah… maybe a little." The thief buried his head into Tweek's cape, embarrassed.

"Hey, don't worry... I think it's kinda cute." Tweek watched as the town came into view. He could just make out the gathering of people. "Oh jeez… there it is."

Stan took them right up to the edge of the clearing before stopping their horses. "Here we go, you two." All three dismounted, looking around.

"Well, I guess you weren't wrong," Tweek said, admiring the setup. "Your descriptive 'trees and shit', I believe it was, is fairly accurate."

Feldspar blushed, smirking. "Whatever, let's just get this over with. Where's Token and Jimmy?"

"Right here," came a familiar voice. The two turned around to find Token walking towards them, Jimmy following close behind with Butters at their tail end. "You two ready?"

"Yeah, but I don't think my stomach is," Feldspar commented, looking at the ground.

"You're just nervous, dude." Token patted his shoulder, a sympathetic smile on his face. "I felt the same way when I got married to my wife. You'll be fine."

Jimmy stepped forward, holding out his hand. "H-h-here, give me the rings. His Highness w-w…wants to do this properly, s-so I'll bring them do…down to you during the ceremony."

Tweek and Feldspar exchanged glances, quickly sliding them off their fingers and into his hand.

"I'll keep them safe," Jimmy teased, closing his hand. "Now g-g-go get out there."

"Yeah, we're all heading to our places," Butters said, gesturing towards the crowd of people surrounding the arch. Kyle was already standing beneath it, the crowd at their seats. "It's time to get started!"

Tweek bit at his lip, his hand grasping for Feldspar's. "Here we go, then." The others hurried to their seats as the couple walked towards the end of the aisle that had been created for them. Both family-less, they made their way down the carpet together until they reached Kyle. Everything went silent, the audience staring in anticipation.

Kyle cleared his throat, the happiest look on his face the two had seen in weeks. "Dearly beloved," he said calmly, "we are gathered here to celebrate the binding of these two souls in holy matrimony- the two heroes of Zaron will become one."

There was a smattering of applause.

"Would you care to recite your vows?" the king asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh jeez, I didn't prepare anything," Feldspar muttered, looking at the floor.

"We were kinda busy doing other things," Tweek muttered in return, causing Feldspar to give him a glance to shut up. "Fine, I'll go first then." He stood up a bit taller, hands shaking as he gripped both of Feldspar's tightly.

"Craig… we met in the most unlikely of circumstances. You barged into my camp, threatened to kill me, and I almost killed you instead." There were a few giggles from the audience. "When I looked into your eyes as you sat on the floor of my wagon, I knew there was something different about you. When my amulet kept leading me back to you, I knew that you were going to change my life. It wasn't the way I expected, but you changed it anyway. In the short time I've known you, you've helped me conquer my fears, become a better leader, and just… be a better person. I was an asshole because I wanted to hide that I was scared. I'm still scared… but you showed me that's okay." He took a deep breath again, shaking starting to calm. "…and I love you for that."

Feldspar took it as his cue. "And…Tweek, you've changed me too. I didn't think that I was going to find companionship, let alone love when I walked into that camp. I betrayed my orders; I went on journeys I never imagined I'd go on because of you. In the end, it wasn't about finding the stick or the amulet or any of that other shit we managed to get into. It was about meeting you. I'm glad I did… and I'm glad you didn't shoot that arrow into my face." There were more giggles. "I love you too."

There were some 'awwws' and more applause from the crowd.

"Jimmy?" Kyle said, gesturing to him. "The rings?"

Jimmy stood from his seat, the rings sitting on a white cloth in the palm of his open hand. He made his way towards the archway, presenting them to the couple.

"You may exchange them," Kyle said, watching as they picked up their partner's ring. With trembling hands, they slid them onto each other's fingers before glancing back at the king.

"With that, I now pronounce you husband and husband," he said, grinning. "You may now-"

Before he could even finish, the two threw themselves at each other, embracing tightly as they kissed their first time as newlyweds. The audience went wild with applause and cheers. Soon, they pulled apart, gasping heavily as they stared at each other.

"We did it," Tweek breathed.

"We did it," Feldspar echoed, kissing him again.

By the second time they pulled apart, the High Elf had been joined by the Grand Wizard under the arch. The crowd had settled.

"You have both served this kingdom, even in the most unlikely or unsuitable circumstances. For that, Eric and I would like to honor you with the biggest act of trust we can bestow." Kyle's tone had shifted dramatically to something more serious.

"Your highness?" Tweek asked, still holding on to his husband, "is everything okay?"

Kyle nodded, but his expression was somber. He reached into his robe, slowly pulling out what could only be the Stick of Truth.

"Sir?" Tweek asked again, staring with confusion.

"We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow at that battle. If Douchebag manages to win, he's going to get ahold of the Stick to disastrous consequences," Eric said, refusing to look up from the ground. "In case that happens… we need to destroy it."

"But…" Feldspar finally spoke, breaking the silence. The entire procession was quiet, unable to comprehend what they were witnessing.

"Please… the risk is too great. The Stick is too powerful. I know we fought so hard to find it, but… it's better if its magic doesn't exist." Kyle held it out to the two of them. "Please. You gave it to us so we could save our son. We want to pay respects to you by allowing you to do the honors."

Tweek hesitated before taking the object in his hand, now trembling again. "Craig?"

Feldspar quietly placed his other hand towards the top of the stick, both of them holding opposing ends. "Are you sure we want to do this?"

"The kings are right. It's what's best for the kingdom." With grim expression, the two of them pulled from their respective end, firmly snapping the artifact in half. Nothing happened. It was as if it was just a regular piece of wood.

Everyone remained silent, heads bowed in respect.

"…and so it's done," Kyle whispered, taking the broken object back from him. "I'm sorry to end this on such a low note. With that, I conclude this ceremony-"

"Not so fast, your highness."

Everyone froze, heads turning quickly towards the end of the aisle. A familiar figure stood, his blue cape blowing quietly in the breeze, remnant magic swirling around him.

Stan and Chris quickly jumped up, drawing their swords.

"Stand down, soldiers," the echoing voice teased, stepping forward. Everyone cowered away from him as he made his way down the aisle at a leisurely pace. "You've still got one more day… I just came to see the newlyweds for myself."

"Get away from him," Tweek snarled, arms wrapping protectively around Feldspar. The thief immediately returned the embrace.

"I'm not here to hurt you," Douchebag said, laughing. It rumbled so deep the ground below them seemed to quake. "If anything, you've hurt me. I'm so upset, you see, that you didn't invite me to your little party. It's such a shame. I love parties." He stopped just before the archway, arms crossed in amusement.

Nobody dared to move, let alone speak.

"I'm sorry I'm so late, though. I heard through the grapevine that the ceremony was going to be in the field behind the castle… but I was informed wrong." He paused, staring right at them from under his hood. "Feldspar, why did you lie to me?"

"I didn't tell you anything," the thief said through gritted teeth, stepping backwards towards the kings. "You're trying to fuck with me again."

"Oh no, I remember very clearly. Let's see here…" Douchebag paused, his voice changing until he perfectly mimicked the thief's. "We're going to get married before battle tomorrow. Kyle said we can do it in the field behind the castle."

Feldspar let go of Tweek, lunging forward. "I told that to CLYDE, YOU SICK FUCK!" Tweek scrambled to hold him back, begging him not to listen. "YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LISTENING!"

"You listen in to my conversations so often in your dreams, I figured I'd return the favor. That boy is such fun to listen through." Douchebag extended a hand from his robe, curiously curling and uncurling his fingers. "I believe the High Elf knows what I mean. He tells such wonderful bedtime stories."

"You're disgusting," Kyle hissed, struggling to restrain himself. There was nothing they could do with Douchebag so close. An attack of any kind could risk the lives of everyone at the procession. "You get your disgusting hands off of my son and your disgusting ears away from our conversations."

"Whatever the fuck you think you're doing crashing our wedding," Tweek threatened, pulling Feldspar closer, "it doesn't have an effect on us!"

"Maybe so, maybe so." Douchebag giggled, almost childishly. "I just thought I'd stir the pot a little... things were getting too hopeful around here. Congratulations on your little engagement. Let's hope that myth your people tell about souls binding after death is true. I think you'll need it tomorrow." With that, he turned sharply, cape fluttering in the wind as his magic transported him away.

The crowd was left in shaken silence, staring at the place where the powerful man had just stood.

"…God have mercy on us," Kyle whispered, pressing his hands to his mouth. "Please…"