Disclaimer: I don't own a thing that you recognize…
Standing in the doorway, I saw the ceiling of the nursery in flames, a baby wailing in the crib, and the frantic voice of a mother I only saw in my dreams. That's how I knew it was dream, after all. Nonetheless, it all seemed so real, and I couldn't seem to shake myself from it. I had no choice but to see what it was trying to tell me.
I ran in the direction of Mom's panicked yells, and found her lying huddled in a corner, a deep wound on her abdomen. This was all wrong, though, wasn't it? Wasn't my mother supposed to be on the ceiling? And where was Missouri to rescue me--the infant me--from the fire?
I knelt by Mom's side, and to my utter surprise, she looked up at me with a pained, tear-streaked face. "Alyx." she whispered. How could she see me? How could she talk to me?
"Mom?" I said, uncertain. Confused. I was extremely confused…but then my own panic mode kicked in, and I found myself thinking, 'Can't I save her?', even though I knew none of this was really happening. I grabbed her hand--it was so cold compared to the heat of the flames that I thought I was actually feeling. "Mom," I repeated. "Please, let me help you…I can get you out of here…" Mom shook her head.
"No," she said weakly, yet firmly. "No, Alyx, it's not meant to be."
Okay. What was that supposed to mean? Why couldn't she come with me? Why couldn't I have a mother? Why does it have to be this way?
"Please--" I begged.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I love you…I was just trying to protect you, Alyx…"
I awoke just as my mother's hand went limp in mine. I sat up in bed and scanned the room, disoriented and sweating. It was 5:30 in the morning. The sun was slowly beginning to come up, and with it, the Christmas holiday. I yawned and sat with my back against the headboard. Heaving I sigh, I leaned over and started rifling through the stuff under my bed. When I found my mother's diary, I sat back with my comforter draped over my shoulders to keep warm. With it being the middle of winter, it was a tad bit chilly. I yawned again and stared down at the book in my hands.
So, this was it. All of my answers (hopefully) were in this one, little book…the key to my freaky dreams and premonitions, as well as my mother's past…
I drew a deep breath and opened it.
The first couple of entries were about events in my mother's childhood; she didn't write much, only her feelings after her father died, and stuff about hunting, the Roadhouse, and things that she had picked up from other hunters along the way. It was interesting to see her perspective on things, but the first entry that really caught my eye was dated back to when she was around my age.
Dear diary,
Today, I was helping Mom in the back room of the Roadhouse, taking inventory, when I got this killer headache. I swear it was as if my head was about to explode. And then, I saw something. It was almost like a movie reel was playing in front of my eyes and only I could see it. I saw Mom drop a glass and me accidentally stepping on a broken shard, only to have a nasty looking cut on the bottom of my foot. It was so strange… Mom asked if I was all right, and I, of course, lied. I don't know what's going on with me.
Jo
Taken aback, I flipped to the very next entry, which was much shorter.
Dear diary,
You know that weird headache thing I got the other day? Well, what I saw came true. Right now, I'm too freaked to write anything else. I'm also debating whether or not I should tell Mom. I probably won't.
Jo
I stopped right there, shocked. Well, that explained one thing. My mother had premonitions like the ones I was now getting. My mother was a psychic, and apparently no one but her knew of this. And, (lucky me) I was the one who had inherited her "gift". I guess me and Mom have a lot more in common than I thought. I'm just as stubborn as she is with the whole visions thing.
I scanned through the next few entries, reading bits and pieces of my mother talking about meeting my dad for the first time and getting all girly with the details. The entry after that one skipped forward a year, and Mom was talking about Dad proposing to her. I stopped to read an entry when I saw my name.
Dear diary,
Dean and I visited the doctor's today to get another ultrasound. We found out that we're going to have a little girl; we couldn't be happier! I already had knowledge of the baby's sex prior to the ultrasound, because I had one of my visions again. I haven't had one in a long time, and this one came in the form of a dream. I saw myself and our baby girl, Alyxandria, (I had always liked that name, and it has a strong meaning to it as well, since it literally means "defender of mankind". Fitting for the child of two hunters, don't you think?) getting attacked by the same demon--The Demon--that killed Dean and Sam's mother. I knew from the moment Dean and I found out that we were going to have a child that he was dreading that six month mark. Needless to say, I am, too. But now I know the Demon is going to strike for sure--that he wants to use our daughter in some way; that maybe she is a 'special' child, like her uncle. I want to protect her from him. I know the only choice I have is to fight him off myself and sacrifice myself in the process because it's meant to be. I know it's meant to be, since the other part of my dream was seeing Alyxandria growing up, with Dean and Sam to take care of her. I know they'll raise her well. This is my decision, as a parent, to look out for her well-being. And by sacrificing my own life for hers, she'll get the chance to grow up into the strong woman that I know she's destined to be.
Jo
I wiped a tear that had managed to make its way down my face. So this was what she was so incredibly sorry for? She gave up her life so that I could live that night. She knew the Demon was definitely coming beforehand, and she sent my dad and Sam on that hunt anyway, and told Missouri to come to the house, knowing the psychic would arrive just in time to get me out of the fire.
It wasn't fair.
Yes, it was a very brave, compassionate, selfless thing for her to do, but it left me without a mother. I was about to throw the stupid book across the room when I noticed a folded piece of paper that was paper clipped to the page following the last entry. Curious, I pulled it out and unfolded it. I was surprised to find that it was addressed to me. It was dated as the day before her death.
To my beautiful daughter Alyxandria,
By the time you will discover this, you will be a teenager. I know you'll be upset and angry with my decisions, but you should know that I did the right thing, Alyx. It was my own choice to give my life to save yours. Don't ever blame yourself for my death, either. It wasn't your fault. There is no one to blame but the Demon. And by now, you, Dean and Sam have already taken care of him. I've seen it all, Alyx.
Before you were born, I had premonitions of your life; I saw you grow up. I knew you'd be a Healer. I also knew that you'd inherit my psychic abilities at around the same age when I first discovered I had them. But please, Alyx, don't make the same mistake I made. Tell your father and Sam about it. It's no use keeping everyone in the dark about this. Sam can help you, too, Sweet Pea. I know you're a little freaked out about it, believe me, but you can't hide this forever like I did.
I know about Oliver, as well. He's a great guy, Alyx; you're very lucky to have him. You two have been through a lot together. Trust me, the obstacles aren't over yet, though. There's still people and things out there that are unhappy about your relationship. Demons and hunters alike. I'm telling you this to give you a heads-up, especially when you start having a family of your own. Protect your children and yourselves at all costs, Alyx.
You are a great person, Alyx, and a great hunter. I was never very good at the job, but you…hunting is in your blood. Whether you choose to pass it on to your children is yours and Oliver's decision.
I want you to remember one thing, Alyx: Family is everything. No matter what happens in your life, stick by the family you have. Dean, Sam, Oliver, Missouri, Bobby, Ellen…they're all good people. They'll take good care of you if you watch out for them in return.
All of my love,
Mom
Once I was finished reading, I placed the diary back under the bed in its original hiding spot. As for the note, I tucked it under my pillows and made my bed. It was 6:00 in the morning now; I knew that no one in the house would be awake yet, even if it was Christmas morning. I got dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt, and sat on the edge of my bed with a yawn.
I knew we weren't the type of family to spend a very normal holiday together. It just wasn't us. But the line in my mother's note bearing the message, 'Family is everything' got me thinking. Why couldn't we spend this Christmas as a family for once? I smiled and picked up my cell phone from my dresser. I dialed Missouri's number first.
"Hello, Alyx. Merry Christmas." she said as soon as she picked up.
"Merry Christmas, Missouri. Hey, listen, I was wondering if you'd like to come over and help cook up a nice dinner for everyone."
"Everyone? What exactly are you plotting?" she laughed.
"I was planning to surprise Dad and Sam; have you, Bobby, and Ellen over for the holiday." I whispered.
"That's very thoughtful of you. I'd love to come. What time would you like me head over to your house?"
"Three o'clock?" I asked. "Would that give us enough time to cook dinner?"
"Hmm…I'll tell you what…I'll cook the turkey over here, and we'll make everything else at your place. Sound good?"
"Yeah. Thanks, Missouri."
"No problem. I'll see you later, then."
I hung up, and dialed Bobby's number. I knew Ellen would most likely be at his house; we hadn't gotten word yet on whether or not she had found a new house or apartment to settle into. I think Bobby called once in the summer to tell us she was working on getting the Roadhouse rebuilt or something.
Bobby picked up after a few rings; I was almost afraid that he wouldn't be home. "Hello?" he asked. His voice was rough and groggy, indicating that he had been asleep prior to my phone call.
"Merry Christmas, Bobby. It's Alyx."
"Oh, Alyx…everything okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, everything's fine. Is Ellen at your place right now?"
"Yeah, she's here. Why?"
"Do you think you two could make it to Lawrence for dinner?" I wondered. He chuckled on the other line.
"I think we could." he laughed.
"Great. Thanks, Bobby. See you later," I said. I hung up and threw my phone onto the bed. I crept across the hall to Oliver's room, knowing that I'd need his help with this to pull it off. He was sound asleep, face buried in his pillows. I stood over him and shook him a little. "Oliver…Oliver, wake up." He groaned and rolled onto his back. His eyes opened slightly to look up at me.
"Alyx?" he smiled. He glanced at the clock. "Merry Christmas." He sat up and hooked his arms around my waist, pulling me onto the bed. Oliver cupped my face in his hands and kissed me before I got a chance to tell him my plans for the day.
"I invited my family over for dinner. Dad and Sam don't know." I explained after we broke the kiss.
"Awesome. And, I'm guessing the reason you woke me up is that you need my help, right?"
"Yep."
Oliver got dressed, and we snuck out of the house while Dad and Sam were still sleeping to make a run to the store. This time, I left a note. The two of us had to get food for the night's meal, as well as a nice tablecloth and other holiday accessories for the dining room table. Setting everything up without them asking questions would be the real challenge, though. We decided not to set the table until Missouri arrived.
When the doorbell rang at three o'clock, I chose to let either Sam or Dad answer it. Sam ended up opening the door; he was shocked to see Missouri standing there, with a large platter covered in aluminum foil--what I guessed to be the turkey.
"Missouri? What are you doing here?" he asked, ushering her inside. I casually made my way into the living room.
"I believe your niece invited me over for dinner." she laughed. Sam looked at me and I smirked. Missouri followed me into the kitchen, and when Dad saw her, his expression was the same. I was helping Missouri get out all of the supplies that Oliver and I had bought when Dad gave me an odd look.
"Alyx, this is a lot of food for four people…" he mused.
"Who said it was just going to be us?" I questioned, a mischievous smirk on my face. Dad raised an eyebrow.
"What did you do?" he asked, jokingly.
"Nothing…" I lied in a singsong voice.
Oliver and I were setting the table when our other two guests arrived. Dad and Sam were in the living room as I opened up the door to reveal Ellen and Bobby.
"Merry Christmas." I said, giving Ellen a hug and letting the two of them inside.
Ellen gave Dad a hug and reading the surprised look on his face, said, "Why do you look so shocked to see us?"
"Because," I cut in with a smile, "the two of them had no clue that I had invited you all to dinner."
Ellen put her hands on her hips, glancing at me with a little grin. "You put this together yourself?"
"Yeah--" I began, but Oliver cleared his throat. "With Oliver's help." I laughed. "I just figured that we all needed a…somewhat normal holiday to spend time with each other as a family."
We went into the dining room and sat down at the table, which I had adorned with a red tablecloth and a few green candles in the center. The food was laid out in the middle; the aroma of turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and other foods was amazing. Missouri always knew how to cook a great meal. We ate, passing around plates and dishes of food as we talked, swapping stories and memories and jokes.
Ellen told me about Mom when she was a little girl, Bobby shared stories of his most exciting hunts with Grandpa John, Dad told everyone about certain memories of him and Sam growing up. This was probably the best semi-normal holiday we've all spent together. (Semi-normal in the respect that most of our conversations involved talk about hunting. But what could you expect? It wasn't like we were going to stand around the Christmas tree and sing carols or something. Well, not unless Dad, Sam, or Bobby got drunk enough to do so, which would be entertaining…and provide me with some good blackmail…) I was glad that I had decided to plan this whole thing.
Maybe our holidays should be more like this one…