Author's Notes:
Thank you to everyone who took the time to review Chapter 13! I'm so excited that Derek and Meredith are finally really together. He's going to need her just as much as she needs him in the coming chapters.
Real life is stressful, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to get this up sooner. I'm hoping to post Chapter Fifteen next Monday.
I will say that your reviews are what makes me want to churn out chapters and they seriously make my day. I love hearing what you all think. And even though I know where this story is going, I totally get ideas from your comments, so if you want to see something happen, leave it in a review and I'll see what I can do :)
Enjoy!
Old Scars, Future Hearts
Chapter Fourteen
Sunday, September 12th
"Watch out, Abby!" Amy shouted. "Alex is catching up to you."
Derek and Mark grinned from their places at the kitchen island in Mark's apartment. Leftover Chinese food covered the counter in front of them. Mark swore it would get put away eventually.
Alex was on his hands and knees chasing a giggling Abby around the living room.
It had been a good weekend.
Abby had been thrilled to learn Derek had two whole days off from the hospital to spend with her and it showed. She was her usual bright and shiny self, her smile barely leaving her face. Derek's smile hadn't left his either.
"Have you talked to her yet?" Mark asked quietly.
Derek shook his head. Both Mark and Meredith had urged him to talk to Abby about why he had to go to work, but he was waiting for the right time. He tried to find the courage all weekend, but he couldn't bring himself to potentially ruin Abby's mood.
"Dude, she's going to flip out in the morning," he warned.
"I'm going to talk to her tonight," Derek insisted. "I asked Amy to hang out here for a while until I get Abby to sleep. She said she didn't mind. I hope that's okay with you."
Mark nearly snorted. Amy must be so put out at Derek encouraging her to spend more time in his apartment with Alex. What a hardship.
"Of course," Mark agreed. "How do you think she'll take it?"
"I'm expecting to hear the word hate come up again," Derek couldn't hide the hurt from his voice. "You know I called Kathleen about that? I mean, I can't have my 4 year old talking about hating people every time she gets upset."
"Definitly not," Mark nodded. "What was Kath's advice?"
"To explain to her what hate means. How do I do that?"
"Abby is a smart kid, Derek," Mark sighed. "She's a really smart kid. She'll get it."
"Daddy!"
Derek laughed as Abby ran into the stool he was sitting on.
"What's the matter, Abby?"
"Daddy, help me!" she shrieked in between her giggles. "Awex gonna get me!"
"Oh no!" Derek gasped, playing along. "Come here, I'll protect you."
Abby's laughter got even louder as Derek picked her up off the ground.
"Can't get me now, Wex!" she shouted happily, leaning into Derek's chest.
"Oh, come on, Derek!" Alex whined playfully. "You're ruining all my fun."
"Sorry, Alex," Derek grinned. "Abby asked for help."
"Sorry, Wex," Abby agreed.
Her eyes lit up at the extra fortune cookies on the counter. "Oh Daddy, I have anoder one? Pwease?"
"Sure," he helped her open one. "Want to know what the fortune is?"
"Uh huh!" Abby nodded as she chewed on part of the cookie.
"Are we supposed to talk with food in our mouths?" Derek corrected gently.
"Sowwy," Abby said as she swallowed.
"Thank you," Derek kissed the top of her head. "Okay, let's see."
His eyes widened a bit as he read the paper in his hands. Well, this certainly fit.
"Don't give up," he said quietly. "The beginning is always the hardest."
Abby had been living with him for less than a month. She had no frame of reference for what a normal family life meant. She had no idea what it was like to have a parent that loved her. Three months ago, Abby didn't even know what the word love meant.
Derek knew what it was like to have parents, but he had no real idea how to be one. He hoped he was doing okay. It had been a very tough few weeks, and things weren't likely to get easier anytime soon. There was a lot to get used to, for both of them.
And then there was the whole him having a girlfriend thing.
Meredith had spent hours with him trying to come with a way to tell Abby without sending her into a giant fit.
So far, they had come up empty.
Cristina's contribution was that Abby was going to pitch a fit no matter how they told her. She suggested they just rip the bandaid off.
Clearly, Cristina had never witnessed an Abby tantrum.
This was his life now. His daughter alternated between adoring him and hating him. He had to sneak around with his girlfriend like a horny teenager.
The beginning is always the hardest.
Things had to get easier. They just had to. None of them could keep living like this.
He thought about the fortune from the first cookie Abby had gobbled down earlier.
Good things come to those who wait.
Well, he could wait to tell Abby about Meredith. But he could not handle another 'I hate you, you don't love me' tantrum in the morning. He just couldn't.
"I think we should probably get going," Derek said, Abby held firmly in his arms as he stood up. "Thanks for dinner, Mark."
"I don't wanna go!" Abby protested. "I stay."
Derek fought the need to groan. "It's almost your bedtime, Abby. We have to go. Say goodbye to Mark and Alex."
"No," Abby pouted. "Stay, Daddy!"
"That's rude," he replied. "Bye, guys. See you all tomorrow."
"Mean!" Abby shouted. "I stay! No go!"
"Stop it," Derek said seriously. "I'm really not in the mood for your tantrums tonight, Abby."
"Don't care!" she kicked him. "You mean! Hate you!"
Mark's apartment went silent.
Amy had heard Abby shout that at Derek before, but it still sucked to hear.
Alex stared at Abby in shock. Where was the happy little girl who couldn't stop carrying on about her Daddy the superhero?
"Night, Derek," Mark said, moving to finally put the leftovers away. His heart broke for Derek, but he hoped he stood his ground. Abby was being a brat. She was saying things she didn't mean to get a reaction out of Derek. Unfortunately for Abby, it was working. Derek had just about reached his breaking point.
Derek was ready to snap by the time he got his door open. Abby continued yelling and kicking him the entire time.
Once he put her down in the corner of his office, though, her anger quickly turned into tears.
"No!" she cried. "No Daddy, no sit here!"
"Put your head down," he said softly, rubbing her back. "Just breathe, Abby. Once you calm down, you can come sit with me on the couch in the living room."
Abby hiccuped, tears streaming down her face as she buried her head in her arms on the Fischer Price table.
This was a Liz suggestion. Abby's 'calm down' corner had a table and chair in it. When Abby got too worked up, Derek asked her to put her head down and calm herself before she got up. He hadn't really enforced many actual time outs. Regardless of what the experts said, Derek didn't think they worked. At least not with Abby.
Liz said they didn't start working with Meg or her other kids until they were 5.
He leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, and watched Abby carefully.
If he left the room, he knew she would get up before she was really calm and just start fighting with him again. He had learned that lesson the hard way.
A few minutes later, Abby picked her head up, sniffling. "Daddy?"
"Are you better now?" Derek asked her.
"Yes," she nodded. "I come sit with you?"
"Yes, you can," he smiled. "Come on."
As he sat down on the couch, Abby quickly climbed up onto his lap and snuggled up against him. "Sowwy, Daddy."
"You need to stop this, Abby," Derek said quietly. "Remember my rule? When I tell you something, you need to listen. I said we were leaving. You can be sad, but you can't yell or kick me. Kicking is bad. That's going to be rule number two- no kicking, no hitting. Not me, not other kids in daycare, not anyone."
"Okay," Abby agreed. "I got it."
"Good," Derek rubbed her back. "I think we need to talk, kid."
"We talkin' now," she said, a puzzled expression taking over her face.
"What does hate mean?" he asked her.
"Oh. Dat kinda talk,"
Derek nearly snorted. Oh Abby.
"Yea, that kind of talk. Do you know what hate means, Abby?"
"Not like," she told him.
"Sort of. Hate means you really, really don't like something. Saying you hate something or someone is a very mean thing to say. When you tell me you hate me, it kind of feels like you're saying that you don't love me at all and wish I wasn't your Daddy."
Abby hugged him as hard as she could.
"Dat's so not true, Daddy. Not true, not true, not true!"
"I'm happy to hear that," he said softly. "Because I love you and I am so happy I'm your Daddy."
"I no say dat word anymore!" Abby promised. "Never ever."
"Thank you, sweet heart," Derek hugged her tight. "But why you said it in the first place? You knew it was mean, I know you did. So why did you say it?"
Abby shrugged. "I mad. You go work and not play with me."
"Do you know why I have to go to work?" he asked her seriously. "I have to go to work to save lives and because I need a job to pay for all your stuff."
"But I don't need stuff!" she protested. "I happy just wit' you!"
His heart swelled with happiness. He knew it wasn't true. Abby loved having toys to play with and new clothes to wear. But it was the thought that counted. Abby was happy. Somehow, he hadn't screwed this Dad thing up yet.
"We need to eat," he pointed out. "And it costs money to live here. Being a grown up means having a job and making money."
"Being a grown up no fun," Abby told him.
No kidding.
"Sometimes it is," he argued. "Being a grown up means I get to come home from my crazy day at work and play with this adorable little girl everyday."
Abby giggled. "Play with me fun?"
"It's my favorite thing," he smiled. "Remember that, okay? I love playing with you. I look forward to coming home every single day because I get to come home with you. Before you came here, I spent all my time at work. And that wasn't fun."
It actually had been kind of fun sometimes. But he would never admit that to Abby. At least, not until she became a surgeon and could see for herself what he meant.
"Daycare no fun," Abby told him. "I stay here and play and wait for you?"
"You have to go to daycare, Abby. That's how I know you're safe. Your teachers watch you for me."
"I no baby!" she protested. "I watch myself."
"I don't think so," he disagreed. "You aren't a baby, but four years old is still way too little to watch yourself."
Abby huffed. "Okay."
"Daddy?" she asked after a moment. "How come Mark didn't hafta work?"
Meredith was right. Abby was comparing living with Mark to living with him. He didn't blame her. It made sense. Mark was a surgeon and he stayed home and played with her all day. How come he couldn't?
Derek sighed. "Mark quit his job when you were in the hospital. Richard asked him to come work here, and he said yes but it took a while before he could move. He didn't have a job all summer, but luckily he had money saved to pay for everything."
"And now Mark works here?" Abby asked. "Cause his job here now?"
"Exactly," Derek agreed.
"Dat makes 'cents," Abby said quietly.
Derek grinned. He had one smart kid, even if she was too smart for her own good sometimes.
"So you aren't going to fight with me tomorrow?" he asked. "You aren't going to say mean things to try and get what you want? Because that's rule number three- don't say mean things to people. Words can be very hurtful, Abby."
"I no fight," she agreed. "And I go to daycare even though it boring."
Derek hoped against hope that Abby kept her word. He didn't have any energy for a fight at 5am tomorrow.
Tuesday, September 14th
"No." Cristina said drily. "No way."
"Aww, come on!" Alex laughed. "I like it."
"Like what?" Meredith asked as she walked through the door. "Why are we hanging out here today?"
"Amy didn't want to risk Derek walking in on this conversation," Cristina informed her. "Because if he did, I would totally out Amex. Evil Spawn thinks my ship name should be Burka."
Meredith was very glad she hadn't taken a sip of the beer Alex just handed her. She probably would have choked.
"Burka?" she asked Alex in disbelief. "That's the best you've got?"
"Mer!" Cristina snapped. "Please don't encourage him."
"If you out us to Derek and I manage to survive that encounter, I'll out you and Burke to the Chief," Alex threatened. "And yes, Mer, Burka. I think it fits."
"What about Burtina? Burina?" Meredith speculated. "Something more 50/50 for each name?"
"I'm still partial to Prestina," Amy spoke up.
"Oh!" Meredith said. "I like that one. Wait, what about Bang?"
By the time Cristina finished glaring at Meredith, Alex was rolling on the floor laughing so hard he could barely breathe.
"Oh my God," he said, tears leaking from his eyes. "Bang is perfect."
"Vetoed," Cristina yelled. "I veto that."
"I didn't have a say in my couple name," Meredith retorted.
"Yours is normal!" Cristina fought back.
"Okay, okay, everyone calm down," Amy said grinning. "This is supposed to be fun. So, here's the list. Meredith, since you are Cristina's person, you narrow it down to 3 and then we'll all vote."
Cristina huffed.
"We have: Burtina, Burina, Burktina, Prestina, Criston, Bang, and Burka."
Meredith couldn't hold in her laughter anymore. No wonder Cristina was getting annoyed. MerDer was actually cute compared with all of those.
"I pick 3?" she asked grinning. "Okay, I pick Bang, Burka, and Prestina."
"Can I change MerDer or Amex to something awful too?" Cristina asked. "If I get a porny name, so do you guys."
"Which one is porny?" Amy asked curiously.
"You don't think Bang is porny?" Cristina asked in disbelief.
"I'm trying not to think about Burke having sex period," Amy informed her. "I honestly don't know what you see in the guy, Cris. He's more arrogant than my brother, and I didn't know that was possible."
"He's a cardio God," Cristina protested weakly. "He's allowed some arrogance."
"And Derek's a neuro God," Meredith said. "But he doesn't act like a stuck up prick all the time. When he does, there's usually some shit going on in his personal life, and he apologizes. When is the last time Burke apologized for being a jerk to you, Cristina?"
She had no response.
"He's your teacher," Amy said softly. "He's an incredible surgeon and he's interested in you. I get it. Just be careful, Cristina. Addie's slutty intern comment rings true here too. The difference is, Derek would make sacrifices for Meredith. I don't think the same is true of Burke."
"Derek risked a lot by going to the Chief," Meredith agreed. "He's an attending dating an intern. He's just as in the wrong as I am. Webber could have reamed him. I'm still surprised Webber was as okay with it as he was. If it came down to it, Derek would pick Abby first, but I think he would pick me second. Burke would pick surgery over anything, and I don't want to see you get hurt."
"None of us do," Alex said quietly. "Derek and Mark hate the guy, Cristina. There's got to be a reason for that."
"I'll be careful," Cristina sighed. "I appreciate your worrying, but you don't know him like I do."
Amy, Alex and Meredith exchanged defeated looks. Burke was going to hurt Cristina. It was only a matter of time.
At least she had them to help pick up the pieces.
"So back to the couple name," Alex said after a moment, hoping to diffuse the tension.
As they all relaxed and began to joke around again, they missed something that would have definitely put a damper on their moods.
Izzie was glaring at them from the hallway.
Some secrets wouldn't be staying secret for long.
Wednesday, September 15th
"Why aren't you sitting with them?" Derek asked, confused. "I thought we were having lunch with Mer, Alex, and Yang."
"They make me nauseous," Mark sighed. "Trust me, you do not want to be a fly on the wall to their conversation right now."
"What are they talking about?" Derek was curious. Very little could make Mark uncomfortable.
"Shipping," he said drily.
Derek looked at him like he had three heads. "Shipping? Like, shipping packages?"
"No," Mark rolled his eyes. "Like relationship shipping. Ship names. Couple names. The kind of ridiculousness that is classic Amy but I never thought Yang or Karev would participate in."
Derek honestly had no idea what Mark was talking about.
Mark sighed. Sometimes Derek was really clueless.
"Bailey!" Mark shouted, catching her attention as she walked past them. "I need your help."
Bailey narrowed her eyes. What did Sloan want with her? And why did Shepherd look so baffled?
"Can I help you, Dr. Sloan?" she asked, glaring at him. "I was hoping to enjoy a quiet lunch away from all you fools."
"Derek doesn't understand the concept of relationship shipping," Mark said. "And I don't know how to explain it to him."
"And why do you need to explain it to him?" Bailey asked with a sigh, sitting down at the table with her two attendings.
"Because the three amigos are having quite the in-depth conversation about it."
"Shipping is basically rooting for a relationship," Bailey said with a sigh.
"Right," Mark agreed. "And when you 'ship' a couple, sometimes they are given a ship name. Like Brangelina, for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie."
Derek looked even more confused. "I thought Pitt was married to that chick from Friends."
Bailey snorted. The man was brilliant, but he lived under a rock.
"He is," Mark agreed. "But there are rumors that he got involved romantically with Jolie on set of their last movie."
"So shipping involves ship names?" Derek asked. "I swear I'm not an idiot but this is blowing my mind a little. Why are they talking about this anyway?"
"Because Amy gave you and Grey one," Mark informed him. "And now they are trying to find one for Burke and Yang."
Derek kicked him as Bailey's jaw dropped.
Sloan had better be kidding.
"Yang and who?" she hissed.
Mark gulped. If Yang survived Bailey's rage fest, she was going to kill him. She knew where he lived. He made a mental note to barricade his door tonight.
"I have a ship name?" Derek asked in disbelief, trying desperately to change the subject.
"Yes," Mark grinned. "MerDer."
Bailey rolled her eyes.
Derek just gaped at him. "This feels like middle school."
"Welcome to my world," Bailey said, glaring daggers at her interns.
"Dr. Bailey," Derek said quickly. "I know you aren't happy with what Mark just stupidly said, but you need to calm down. Killing one of our best interns won't help anyone."
"Oh I'm not planning on killing her," Bailey assured him. "Poor girl is getting herself in over her head with that cardio jackass. She'll suffer enough in the long run without any help from me."
Derek sighed. "If I didn't think Meredith would kill me, I would talk to Cristina about that. Burke's not a good guy. And he's definitely not the right guy for her."
"Stay out of it, Shep," Mark warned. "You have a million and one reasons to dislike Burke, I know that, but Yang doesn't. She won't appreciate it and her person will take her side."
"Fine," Derek conceded. "I'll stay out of it for now."
"But the second I think he's going to hurt her, I'm speaking up," he said evenly. "And none of you can stop me from that."
"You can't save everyone," Bailey said softly. "Sometimes you need to let people make their own mistakes."
"I am well aware that I can't save everyone, thank you, Dr. Bailey. But that doesn't mean I can't try."
"Uh oh," Mark said quietly. "I think we might have a problem."
Derek glanced at him questionably.
"Stevens looks ready to pick a fight," he said.
Derek and Bailey looked towards the Three Amigos' table. Mark was right, Izzie Stevens was storming over to them, closely followed by George O'Malley. She looked ready to riot.
He stood up, but Mark grabbed his arm.
"I'll handle this," Mark told them. "I have a feeling this is about you and Grey. You shouldn't go over there."
"If it is about Shepherd and Grey, neither should you!" Bailey argued. "We all should..."
"Oh please!" Izzie's shouting cut her off. "It must be so tough for you, Cristina. Having to work so hard to get any recognition. It's not like you're mother is a surgical God or anything. But wait, that's you, Meredith. It's bad enough you get everything handed to you because you're Ellis Grey's daughter, but you're sleeping with the Head of Neuro too!"
Derek shrugged off Mark's grip and moved towards the table. He was not going to let Meredith have to deal with this alone.
Mark and Bailey were steps behind him.
"What I do in my personal life is none of your business!" Meredith snapped. "I'm Dr. Shepherd's girlfriend, yes. I'm Ellis Grey's daughter, yes. I'm not getting special treatment, so you're just going to have to deal with it!"
"You're not getting special treatment?" Izzie asked in disbelief. "Are you kidding me?"
"No!" Meredith nearly shouted, only calming down when she felt Derek wrap an arm around her back. "If I get good surgeries, it's because I deserve them. Maybe if you worried more about becoming a surgeon and less about other people's lives, you'd deserve more surgeries too."
Miranda Bailey smirked. Way to go, Grey.
Izzie rolled her eyes. "The three of you always get the best surgeries. But why should that surprise me? I mean, Meredith's sleeping with Shepherd, Cristina's sleeping with Burke, and Alex is sleeping with Shepherd's sister."
Meredith's jaw dropped. She glanced up at Derek, but he showed no reaction to Izzie's bombshell.
Alex looked like a deer caught in headlights.
"Are you questioning my judgement, Dr. Stevens?" Derek asked coldly.
Izzie jumped. She hadn't noticed Derek. But then her eyes hardened.
"You pick them for everything, you favor them!"
"I don't favor them, Dr. Stevens," he said. "I give them exactly what they deserve and nothing more. If they scrub in on good surgeries, it is because they were able to answer my questions during rounds and proved themselves. As Dr. Grey said, maybe if you focused a bit more on your own career and less on theirs, you could scrub in on exciting surgeries too. Instead, you'll be spending the next week in the pit. I do not tolerate gossip or making scenes, Dr. Stevens. This is not middle school. Grow up."
Izzie rolled her eyes. "Of course you're defending them!"
"Drs. Karev, Yang, and Grey were sitting here minding their own business. I saw you barge in here and start yelling in the middle of a packed cafeteria. If this bothered you so much, you should have confronted them in the locker room, or I don't know, the house you share with Grey. You made a choice to make a scene and spread gossip. You wanted people to overhear and talk about them. Now you'll pay for it. Get to the pit, now."
Izzie looked around for someone who would back her. Her eyes lit up when she spotted Bailey.
"Dr. Bailey, I..."
"You heard Dr. Shepherd," Bailey said coldly. "The pit."
"Come on!" Izzie protested. "Meredith and Cristina can sleep with attendings and no one bats an eye. I call them on it and I get in trouble?"
"Dr. Webber has been aware of my relationship with Dr. Grey for several weeks now," Derek said icily. "He didn't seem to have a problem with it, so excuse me for not caring that you do."
Her eyes widened. "I... I hadn't heard anything about that."
"Because I know how to keep my personal life separate from my job!" Meredith snarled. "My dating Derek is none of your business, that's why you didn't know anything about it."
"Get to the pit, Dr. Stevens," Derek repeated. "That's an order."
Once Izzie raced away, Derek sat down next to Meredith.
"So, did you guys agree on a couple name for Burke and Cristina yet?"
Cristina just gaped on him.
Izzie just told the world Alex and Amelia were together, and Shepherd wants to talk about ship names.
"Uh," Meredith tried to pull herself together. "No, not quite. We were interrupted."
"What are the options?" he asked curiously. "I like ours, by the way."
Alex, Meredith, and Cristina felt like they had entered the twilight zone.
"How do you know about yours?" Cristina asked.
"Mark told me," he shrugged. "I have to admit I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about at first, but if this is actually a thing, I can get onboard with it."
"He had no idea what shipping meant," Mark informed them as he sat down too. "Bailey had to help me explain it to him."
"I don't have a life," Derek admitted. "Ever since Amy left for New York last year, I have no idea what's going on in the world. Did you know that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are now a thing?"
"Have you lost your mind?" Cristina demanded. "Did you not just hear a word of what Izzie said?"
Derek sighed. "I heard it. I'm choosing to ignore it. What's done is done. We can't do anything to change what happened, and we'll just have to deal with the blows as they come. You can sit here worrying about things you can't change, or you can choose to let it go."
"Don't let Stevens jealousy ruin your day," Mark advised them. "You three did nothing wrong, you should be able to enjoy the rest of your lunch. So, as Derek asked, what are the options?"
"We narrowed it to 3," Alex finally spoke. "Prestina, Bang, and Burka."
Derek and Mark shared a glance before bursting out in laughter.
"Oh God," Derek said weakly. "I vote Bang."
"Seriously?" Cristina demanded, ignoring Meredith's smug grin.
"I'm partial to Burka," Mark argued. "Though Prestina's good too."
"Come on, Bang could be a classic!" Derek told him.
"Bang sounds like the name of a porno," Mark said drily.
Alex sniggered.
"Thank you!" Cristina nodded. "I agree with McSteamy."
"I agree with McDreamy," Meredith grinned. "Bang's too awesome to pass over."
Mark looked thoughtful. "You know, I think Bang might be growing on me."
Cristina looked like she was about to protest again, but she deflated instead. "You all like Bang?"
"Yes," the table agreed.
"Fine,"
Meredith high-fived Alex as Derek and Mark began to laugh again.
"But I'm never referring to us as Bang," she warned them. "That can be your thing, so I hope you enjoy it."
She tried so hard to keep a straight face, but after watching her friends laughing around her for a moment, she started to laugh too.
Team Bang.
If someone told Cristina a year ago that she would be spending lunch with two attendings and her friends talking about couple names, she wouldn't have believed them.
This was her life now.
Somehow she had found herself a part of the make-shift Shepherd family.
She guessed that saying was true. Friends are the family you make for yourself.
And she wouldn't want it any other way.
"Keep an eye on Cristina," Derek whispered to Mark and Bailey. "Burke's not going to like what happened at lunch, and I'm worried about his reaction."
"I already planned on it," Mark said quietly. "He's going to be a madman."
Bailey felt her affection growing for both Sloan and Shepherd. The way they protected their make-shift family warmed her heart. Carolyn Shepherd had done one fantastic job raising them.
"I told them they could go home if they wanted," Derek informed them. "But they all said no. Alex said he wasn't afraid of a bit of gossip, and Mer and Cristina agreed with him."
Bailey was proud of her interns too.
Even if she did think Yang was an idiot for getting involved with Burke.
The Karev-Amelia Shepherd thing surprised her. Shepherd's lack of reaction surprised her more. From the look on Alex's face when Izzie said that, Shepherd had no idea. So why wasn't the overprotective brother in him going ballistic?
"How long have Alex and Amy been a thing?" he asked Mark curiously.
Maybe she spoke too soon.
Mark gulped. "I've known since your birthday," he admitted. "But apparently since Alex left New York."
"Huh," Derek said thoughtfully. "That explains a lot, actually. Hey, can you hang out in my apartment tonight once Abby's in bed? I promised Mer a late night pizza and a movie, and since we can hang out at her house now, that's probably better. The way our luck is going, Abby would walk out on us having sex on the couch or something."
"You have sex on your couch?" Mark asked, horrified. "I sit on that couch."
Derek rolled his eyes. "Welcome to my life. Do you remember college, Mark?"
Mark grinned. "Vaguely. Sure, I'll stay, I don't have any other plans."
"I'm a little surprised you're still being McChaste now that Abby doesn't live with you," Derek commented.
"Mc-what?" Mark stuttered.
"McChaste," Derek repeated. "You haven't slept with anyone since getting custody of Abby in May. I'm surprised you haven't croaked yet, actually. This has to be a first."
"You're both a bunch of fools," Bailey glared at them. "Grow up."
"You know we are your bosses, right?" Mark asked, raising an eyebrow at her while Derek smiled and shook his head.
"Just shut up, McSteamy," she sighed. "And watch out, here comes the Bang-fight."
Mark barely contained himself. How had they gotten Bailey to call Burke and Yang 'Bang'?
Derek watched from the sidelines warily as Burke cornered Cristina. He looked furious.
He couldn't hear what Burke was saying, so he kept an eye on Alex to judge when he should step in.
And he was very glad he did.
"Karev!" Derek shouted as he grabbed Alex and shoved him away from Burke. Alex was seconds away from punching him.
Derek had a lot of pull, but he didn't have enough pull to keep Alex in the program if he punched the Head of Cardio.
Mark helped Derek push Alex further back, while Derek turned on Burke.
"What the hell is going on here, Dr. Burke?" Derek demanded, glaring at both of them.
"He's..." Alex started.
"Shut up, Karev," Derek snapped. "You're in enough trouble."
Burke's eyes widened. "I was just talking to Dr. Yang."
"I'm sure you were," Derek said drily. "And I'm sure you were rationally discussing what happened in the cafeteria, recognizing that Cristina did nothing wrong. Secrets don't stay secret for long, not in this hospital. You were both wrong to keep this from the Chief, but what happened earlier was no one's fault but Dr. Stevens."
"Well, I..."
"I'm sure you weren't being rude or condescending to your girlfriend, Preston," Derek said warningly. "Because the one this could hurt the most is Cristina. You've already proven yourself to be an outstanding surgeon, Cristina's just beginning. And now she's going to have to do it with the whole hospital knowing about her relationship with you. That's going to suck, I know, because my girlfriend is facing the same thing."
Burke gulped. Derek could see the regret in his eyes. Good.
"I would never dream of saying or doing anything to make this harder for Meredith. I suggest you think hard about that. I personally think you're an ass, but Cristina swears it's because I don't know you. Don't prove me right, Burke." Derek hissed. "Because if you do hurt her, Webber is going to be the least of your problems."
"Now," Derek stepped back and looked at the interns. "Grey, Yang, go home. I don't need you to do anything else for me today."
Mark was still holding Karev back.
This was just what Derek needed today.
"Karev," he said, grabbing him by the arm. "Come with me."
"Dr. Shepherd, don't," Cristina tried to cut in. "Alex was just..."
"Go home, Yang," Derek repeated.
"He was defending me!" Cristina pleaded, "Please, just let this go."
"If you noticed, Dr. Yang," Derek said more gently. "I defended you too. And I didn't use my fists to do it."
Alex flinched as Derek slammed his office door behind them.
"Have you lost your mind?" Derek demanded.
"Dr. Shepherd, I..."
"You nearly decked the Head of Cardiothoracic surgery in the middle of a hallway!" he seethed.
"He was being an ass!" Alex protested.
Derek glared at him. "And what the hell was punching him supposed to accomplish?"
Alex hung his head.
"We've talked about your temper before, Karev. I told you that I wasn't going to tolerate it. I told you that I was going to make your residency a living hell if you ever spoke to another surgeon like you spoke to me."
"I didn't speak to him," Alex muttered.
"No," Derek snapped. "You just tried to hit him. You're welcome for stopping you, by the way. That would have been a one way ticket to instant termination."
"Am I suspended again?" Alex asked bitterly. "Stuck in the pit for months?"
"I don't know," Derek said, his frustration growing. "I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do with you."
A knock on the door prevented Derek from saying anything else.
"Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Karev,"
"Dr. Burke," Derek was shocked. He hadn't expected Burke to talk to him. He actually expected the man to run and hide.
There was no doubt he was being a jackass to Cristina earlier. Karev had been doing a great job at controlling his temper lately. For him to lash out like that, Burke had to have said something awful.
"I didn't take what happened in the cafeteria well," Burke said quietly. "I lashed out at Cristina and she didn't deserve it. Dr. Karev was just trying to defend her. You shouldn't punish him, Shepherd."
Alex gawked at him. Burke was defending him?
"He tried to attack you," Derek said slowly. "He would have hit you if Dr. Sloan and I didn't get there in time."
"I would have deserved it," Burke admitted. "Just let it go this time, Shep. Please."
Derek didn't know what to say. Today was the last day of their post-suspension punishment. He had planned to let each of them scrub in on his surgeries tomorrow. There was no way he was letting Alex scrub in now, that would look like favoritism.
What the hell had the kid been thinking?
"He's on your service for the rest of the week," he eventually conceded. "What he does or does not get to do is up to you. Get out of here, Karev."
Alex didn't need to be told twice.
"Thank you. I should have gone to Webber," Burke informed him after Alex left. "If I had, Stevens flipping out today wouldn't mean anything."
Derek stayed quiet.
"You were right, this is going to affect Cristina and Meredith the most. Instead of trying to support her, I almost made it worse."
"I meant what I said," Derek said curtly as Burke turned to leave. "Cristina's a part of my family. Don't hurt her."
"You almost punched Preston Burke?" Amy shouted as Alex tiredly walked into the apartment. "Where have you been? Are you drunk?"
"Yes and yes," he groaned tiredly, collapsing onto the couch. "I went to Joe's after work. And cut the yelling. Your brother already read me the riot act."
"You're lucky he didn't fire you," she snapped. "Damn it, Alex. What the hell were you thinking?"
"I was thinking that Burke had no right to accuse Cristina of whoring herself out for surgeries."
Amy's eyes widened. "He said what?"
"The guy's a jackass," Alex hissed. "And I'm stuck on his service for the rest of the week. He pleaded my case to Derek, actually, otherwise I think he was going to suspend me again. But I still hate the guy."
"I don't know why you're mad about this. It doesn't impact you at all. Besides, we have bigger problems," he said with a sigh as she sat down next to him.
"It bothers me because you're my boyfriend. You getting fired would impact me, thank you very much. Derek firing you would absolutely affect me. And bigger problems? Of course we do. We can never catch a freaking break. What now?" she sighed.
"When Dr. Model flipped out in the cafeteria, she informed everyone that I'm sleeping with Shepherd's sister."
Amy froze. Derek was going to flip.
"Oh God," she moaned.
"Your brother hasn't said a word to me about it," Alex informed her. "And that is scaring the crap out of me."
"He's going to kill us," Amy said fearfully. "He thinks since our Dad isn't here to threaten my boyfriends, that's his job now."
"He's not going to kill either of you," Mark said as he walked in. "He seems fine with it, to be honest. He said it explains a lot."
"I don't believe you," Amy argued. "Derek does overprotective brother like it's his job."
Mark shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you, Amy. Derek seemed fine with it today. Don't give him a reason to flip out and I'm guessing he won't. Maybe he's waiting for one of you to tell him."
They both snorted. There was not a chance that would happen. Not in this lifetime.
"Oh and Karev, I overheard him talking to the Chief. Apparently he's going to make you attend anger management sessions or some crap. Don't argue, please. You're lucky two days with Burke and this are all you're getting."
"As long as I don't get stuck with a peer mentor, I'm happy," Alex nodded. "Actually, I'd even take a mentor as long as it's not Sydney Herron."
"Maybe it will be Derek. Derek had anger issues when he was younger," Amy said thoughtfully. "Didn't Rob make him go to anger management when he was an intern?"
"He did," Mark said. "Derek got in a fist fight with a senior resident in the lobby. He just barely managed to not get thrown out of the program. Rob was strongly considering it."
"Shepherd punched a resident?" Alex asked in disbelief.
"Derek got in a brawl with a resident," Mark corrected. "They were on the floor beating the crap out of each other. It took me, Rob, and Nancy's ex-husband to break them up."
Alex was stunned. Just when he thought he had Derek Shepherd figured out, he got slammed with another doozy.
Though, maybe it shouldn't be so surprising. Alex recalled his conversation with Derek the day after Abby's surgery.
"Sure, you have a temper and you don't listen and you piss me the hell off sometimes. I have a temper. Mark doesn't listen to anyone and he's been pissing me off since we were 5."
"I've said plenty of stupid things to Webber in my day."
"To be honest, Karev," Mark said gently. "There are a lot of things about you that remind me very strongly of Derek when he was younger. If you can figure out your temper and manage not to get thrown out of this program, you're going to make a phenomenal surgeon. I'm glad Derek talked sense into you and kept you from walking away."
He flung an envelope at him.
"Webber asked me to give this to you. It's your board results. You passed. Congratulations."
Amy squealed as a huge smile broke out on Alex's face.
Alex was glad Derek had talked to him too.
And he was so glad he didn't walk away.
"Get out!" Meredith demanded, throwing Izzie's duffle bag down the stairs.
"Come on, Mer!" Izzie argued. "You can't throw me out!"
"Watch me," Meredith hissed. "How could you possibly think I'd still let you live here after the crap you pulled today?"
"Meredith, maybe you should think about this," George tried to intervene. "Take a day or two and..."
"Burke was a complete jackass to Cristina afterwards. Alex nearly got himself fired when he tried to defend her. I don't need to calm down, George. I need her out of my house!"
She threw one of Izzie's books down the stairs next. It nearly hit Derek.
"What are you doing here?" she huffed.
"Abby's asleep," he said, his eyes widening at the scene before him. "We had a pizza and movie date, remember?"
"I can't tonight," Meredith said petulantly. "I'm kicking Izzie out."
"Mer," Derek said softly, stepping over a pile of who knows what to reach her. "You have every right to be upset, but are you really going to kick Izzie out onto the street at 9 at night?"
"Yes."
He raised an eyebrow. "Meredith."
"No," she sighed. Turning towards Izzie, she said, "Fine. But I want you out in 30 days, so I suggest you start looking for another place to stay. You were awful, Iz. Absolutely awful. We didn't deserve that. Derek and Dr. Burke didn't deserve their personal business shouted around the cafeteria like that."
"I was jealous," Izzie admitted. "I've had to kill myself to get here, and you've got this reputation already made."
"You think it's easy to be Ellis Grey's daughter?" Meredith asked in disbelief. "People expect me to be perfect, to be the second coming of her. I spend everyday hoping I don't screw it up or look like an idiot or come up short. You had a blank slate. No one expected anything of you. You didn't have huge expectations waiting for you. I would do anything to have that blank slate, Izzie."
"Everyone talks about you, Cristina, and Alex," Izzie said. "The three amigos and the the three best interns in the program. Do you know hard it is for everyone that isn't you?"
"Don't compare yourself to them, Stevens," Derek spoke up. "The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday. That's who you're competing against. Not Meredith. Not Alex. And not Cristina. Don't think of it as a competition, because it's not. Your job is to become the best surgeon you can, not the surgeon Cristina can be. You're all different. You all have different talents and interests. Alex isn't as good as Cristina at cardio. Meredith isn't as good as Alex at pediatrics. Everyone is good at something, you just have to figure out what you want and go for it."
"Easy for you to say," Izzie scoffed. "You're the God of Neurosurgery."
Derek rolled his eyes. "So what? I was an intern just like you not so long ago. I had to fight and prove myself every single day to get here. I did it by minding my own business and worrying about myself, not what Dr. Sloan or Dr. Montgomery were doing."
"Look, this drama is getting old, Iz," Meredith told her. "I have enough actual crap going on in my life, I don't need the extra stress you bring. So you need to decide if you want me as your friend or not, and if you do, stop acting like we're a bunch of teenagers. I'm tired of it."
Friday, September 17th
Blocks.
They want me to play with wooden blocks.
I spent most of the morning practicing writing letters like Aunt Amy showed me last week, but now these 'teachers' told me to play.
With blocks.
Don't they know who I am?
I'm not going to waste time playing with blocks like a baby.
I should be learning something!
I'm going to be a brain surgeon. What good is playing with blocks going to do me?
I like to play, but with fun stuff. I like to play surgery and Go Fish and with the dolly Daddy got me from the medical school.
Learning stuff is way better than building with pointless wooden blocks.
Give me a scalpel! Give me a brain! Or, at least, Play Dough to make one with. Uncle Mark showed me how to do that. That's fun. You make a brain and then you use the Play Dough knife as a scalpel and operate.
Daddy says I do a good job.
My Daddy gets to save lives and I'm stuck in this room with a bunch of whiny cry babies.
This is so not fair.
Maybe he needs help.
Maybe I can watch more surgery from the gallery.
Now that sounds like fun.
The words 'thank God it's Friday' were never more true.
Meredith had won the jackpot and had Saturday and Sunday off this weekend. Sure, her schedule next week would be a bit rough, but two days off in a row was so worth it.
Suddenly, something caught her eye. Her eyes widened and she did a double take. This couldn't be right.
Nope, she wasn't seeing things.
Abby Shepherd was strolling down the hallway all by herself.
Where was Derek?
Meredith glanced frantically up and down the hall, hoping Derek or Mark weren't far away.
What was Abby doing here?
Derek and Mark were both in surgery, she noticed, as she looked at the OR board.
Which meant Abby was definitely supposed to still be at daycare.
"Abby!" Meredith shouted, taking off after the girl.
From the way Abby walked and ran now, you would never know she was recovering from a brain tumor that had stripped her of those abilities for months. It was a remarkable recovery that spoke volumes for how good a surgeon Derek was.
But right now, Meredith hated how well Abby had recovered. It made it very hard to catch her.
"Abby, stop!" Meredith yelled as Abby neared the elevators. If Abby got on one, who knows where the hell she would end up.
"Hi!" Abby grinned up at her. She was trying very hard to look innocent.
"What are you doing down here?" Meredith asked. "Why aren't you in daycare?"
"I 'scaped," Abby smirked.
She actually smirked. What four year old knew how to smirk?
"You what?" Meredith asked, her heart hammering with fear. Anything could have happened to Abby. How incompetent was the hospital daycare that Abby had been able to escape?
"I looking for my Daddy," Abby informed her. "You Wex's friend, right?"
Meredith sighed as she picked Abby up. "Yes, I'm Alex's friend. Your Daddy is operating right now. We need to get you back to daycare so he doesn't get scared when he goes looking for you later."
"No!" Abby protested, trying to get down. "I bored. No go back!"
Derek was going to be furious when she told him about this escapade. Meredith didn't envy Abby tonight.
"Fine," she conceded. What was the point of bringing Abby back to daycare? She would probably just try and escape again.
Maybe this was a good thing. Watching Abby this afternoon would give her a chance to have that talk with her. Derek told her that Abby had been better this week, but they all knew that wouldn't last.
"How do you like Seattle, Abby?" Meredith asked her as they sat down in Derek's office. She figured this was as good a place as any to wait until his surgery was over.
"Daddy work lots," Abby said quietly. "He gots to save lives."
"He does," Meredith agreed. "He's very good at that. And he needs to work so he can buy you things."
"He said 'dat," Abby nodded. "But I miss him."
Meredith felt her heart break. She knew that feeling very well, and she hated that Abby felt like that.
"He misses you too," she said gently. "Your Daddy loves you very much. He talks about you all the time."
Abby's eyes widened. "He does?"
"Oh yes," she grinned. "You are very lucky to have him as your Daddy."
Abby didn't say anything.
"My Mom was a surgeon too," Meredith told her.
Abby gaped at her. "Like Daddy?"
"No," she shook her head. "Not like your Daddy. She was a general surgeon like Dr. Webber. But she wasn't like your Daddy in other ways too. She worked all the time. She never wanted to spend time with me, not ever. Surgery was her most important job.
All of a sudden, Abby looked guilty.
"Daddy say being my Daddy most important," she whispered. "He wuvs me lots. He plays with me all da time."
"Because being your Daddy is most important," Meredith said. "That's how it's supposed to be. He loves you so much, Abby. You are his whole world. He hates that he has to be away from you while he's working. And he hated when you were in New York and he was here. He is so happy to have you here. You should never, ever doubt that."
"People weave," Abby said seriously. "What if he weave me too?"
Forget broken. Her heart was shattered. She pulled Abby into her lap for a cuddle.
"He's not going to leave you," she said fiercely. "You're everything to him, Abby, absolutely everything. Has Mark left you?"
"No," Abby said. "Mark live 'cross the hall."
"Yes, he does," Meredith smiled. "What about Alex and Aunt Amy? Did they leave you?"
"No," Abby's jaw dropped. "Dey not weave eider."
"See? Everyone hasn't left you," Meredith said softly. "Maybe the people that left you before had to leave. If they hadn't left you, if you hadn't been with Mike at the hospital that day, you never would have met Mark. Look how great things have been since you met Mark!"
Meredith could tell that Abby was processing everything she said. She hoped it wasn't too much, that it hadn't gone right over Abby's head.
"It met to be," Abby whispered. "Daddy not gonna weave me."
"Yea, I think it was meant to be," Meredith agreed. "You're right, Abby. Your Daddy is not going to leave you. He loves you."
"Being my Daddy come first," Abby sighed. "I say bad things, Merdith. I hurt Daddy."
"Apologize," she said. "Everyone makes mistakes, just tell him you're sorry and try not to say those things anymore."
"Are you my friend, Merdith?" Abby asked curiously.
Well, this was one scenario Derek and her hadn't explored. Being friends with Abby would make it much easier to spend time with Derek for now, instead of having to sneak around. That was getting really old, really fast. It also bought them more time to figure out how to explain dating.
She liked the idea of being Abby's friend.
They had covered the biggest issue Abby had with Derek today, but this was far from the end of it. Abandonment issues didn't go away overnight.
Abby knowing she had Meredith in her corner could only be a good thing.
"Yes," Meredith smiled. "I am your friend. If you want me to be."
"Oh yes," Abby nodded. "I like friends."
"So why is daycare so boring?" Meredith asked curiously.
Abby huffed. "Dey want me to play with blocks."
Meredith didn't follow. "Is that bad?"
"Blocks boring," Abby told her. "Coloring, Go Fish, playing surgery, all dose much more fun."
"Blocks can be fun too," Meredith protested. "I love legos. Those can be challenging. I'll get us some to play with. I think you'll come around."
Abby giggled. Playing with Meredith did sound fun. Even if she wanted her to play with blocks.
"So you escaped daycare because it was boring?"
"Yep," Abby nodded, not picking up on the disapproval in Meredith's voice. "And to look for Daddy."
"Did you tell your Daddy you don't like daycare?" she asked, looking Abby in the eye.
"He said I gots to go," Abby said bitterly. "Cause he gots to work and I needs to be watched. I say I not a baby. He says four too little to watch myself."
That made this much easier, though, it made her much more sure that Derek was going to be quite upset with Abby tonight.
"Do you think your Daddy is going to like you leaving daycare?" Meredith questioned.
Abby's face dropped. "Uh oh. We not tell him?" she asked hopefully.
"Your Daddy's my boss," Meredith shook her head. "Not telling is just like lying, I can't lie to him."
"Lying bad," Abby echoed. "Daddy no like lying."
"No, he doesn't," Meredith glanced at her watch. Derek's surgery was just about finished. "We need to go."
She picked Abby up and headed towards the door.
"Where we go?"
"To find your Daddy, his surgery is over now."
Abby gulped. "He gonna be very mad at me."
"Probably," Meredith agreed. "Escaping daycare was not a good idea. But he loves you, okay? If he gets mad, it's because he loves you and he wants to keep you safe."
They didn't have to wait long outside the OR. Derek came out shortly after they got there.
"Hey!" his face lit up when he saw Meredith. "I thought you were done for the weekend? Figured you would bolt out of here."
Meredith motioned to the child in her arms.
Derek looked at her in confusion. What was Meredith doing with Abby?
"Daddy, this my friend Merdith," Abby told him.
He cocked his head, trying to figure out what he was missing. Abby was supposed to be in daycare. He had listed Meredith as an emergency contact, but shouldn't they have paged him first? His pager hadn't gone off during surgery, and neither had his phone.
"I know Meredith," he told her. "She's my intern and Alex's friend. You've met her before. How did you wind up with Meredith today?"
Judging on the look Meredith was shooting him, he was not going to like this story one bit.
"I found Abby wondering the hallway," she said quietly. "Apparently daycare was boring, so she escaped."
Derek didn't know what hit him harder- sheer terror or overwhelming anger.
Abby had been wandering the hallways. Anything could have happened to her. How the hell had she managed to escape daycare? How had no one bothered to notice or tell him that his child was missing?
And what the hell was Abby thinking? He had just explained the whole thing to her again this morning. She needed to go to daycare because four year olds weren't old enough to watch themselves. She told him she understood.
"Tell Dr. O'Malley to talk to the family," Derek said, barely keeping the anger out of his voice. "And to tell them that I'll be by the recovery room in about an hour to check in if they have questions."
He took Abby from Meredith's arms. "Thank you for watching her," he said sincerely.
"Anytime," Meredith said softly, squeezing his arm. Her heart went out to him. Abby was not making this crash course in fatherhood easy for him at all. "Bye Abby."
"Bye, Merdith," Abby said quietly. "Daddy, I..."
"Not right now, Abby," he said evenly. "We'll talk in a few minutes, but not right now."
"I sorry," she whispered, tears starting to pool in her eyes.
Derek sighed. "I love you," he reassured her. "But I'm very upset right now. You know better, Abby."
"I in trouble?" she asked.
"Oh yes," Derek nodded grimly. "You are in big trouble, Abigail Mackenzie. You are in very big trouble."