Title: The Curse of Bittersweet Kisses
Chapter 14
Summary: AU: As a god, Castiel does care for his subjects. He bestows gifts to those who are faithful and after considering Dean's words, he decides to give Dean a gift to display his own benevolence.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Supernatural was created by Eric Kripke. No disrespect is meant with this work of fan fiction.
Notes: The Dean J. Mahogoff reference is from S2 'Playthings' and 'Born Under a Bad Sign', credit card and cell accounts.
When Sam emerged from the bathroom, Dean was still the only one in the living room. Ellen and Bobby weren't there and neither was Jo. "Where is everyone?" Sam grabbed a straight chair and sat the wrong way, crossing his arms on the chair back, his glance falling on the wall behind the desk.
Chuck was there, standing against the wall with his arms crossed, watching them. Seeing Sam notice him, he lifted two fingers in a wave, like a friend would do.
Some of the tension drained from Sam's shoulders. At no time had Chuck and Lucifer ever been present together. If Chuck was here, then Lucifer wouldn't be.
Leaning forward in the chair, Dean started to remove his boots. "Jo and Ellen are upstairs and Bobby had to make a run. Accident on one of the county roads."
"Ahh." He nodded. "You said yesterday that we'd go over what else Darla said when you got back. You know, right before you hung up on me? So spill. What'd she say?"
"We need to talk," Dean said, though he looked like talking was the last thing he wanted to do.
"What do we need to talk about? Cas?" Sam's attention slid to Chuck.
"No. Big L."
Chuck shifted position slightly.
"No. I don't want to talk about him. Isn't it enough that I have to hear him all the time? I don't want to talk about him too. I'm tired of it, of him."
"Come on, Sam." Dean was tired, too. Sam saw it in his eyes, in his posture, and heard it in his voice. He was just as tired of it as Sam was.
"I'm not going to a doctor or hospital." He'd be committed for sure and hard telling when he'd be able to get out. He'd decided. He wasn't ready to take that sort of step. Maybe he never would be. "You know what'll happen if I do. Do you want me to be committed?"
Now Chuck moved forward. "Dean has your best interests in mind. You know that. You should listen."
"Darla had a suggestion and it sounds like it could help. We get you on meds and see what hallucinations are still standing once you're under."
"Is that all?" He snorted. "You have any idea how many different medicines there are to treat my symptoms? It could be years of looking to find one that'll even work for me."
"Will you just consider it? I won't let them commit you. If we find a doctor familiar with what we do -"
"No." To Sam's left, Gwen and Arlene appeared, a scene he recalled witnessing. Gwen's face was blotchy from tears and Sam remembered they hadn't been tears of sadness, but rather of anger. She'd busted her butt to pull off a job Samuel had discussed and Christian had gotten the credit for it running smoothly. He looked to see if Chuck was still there and found him watching Dean. Interesting. Both kinds of hallucinations showing up at once. "I'm not seeing a doctor or going to a hospital. It's not what I want to do."
Dean slumped back in the chair. "I think you should."
"I don't. End of subject."
Chuck circled Sam, then leaned down and said at his ear, "Since you won't open your eyes, Sam, maybe you should medicate yourself. Cover matters over until you're ready to see. You can't see until, deep down, you feel you can handle it and obviously you don't feel you can handle it yet." He stood and shrugged, then strolled towards the front door and disappeared.
Sam cleared his throat. "When were you ordered to take a honeymoon?"
While he half expected Dean to refuse to change the subject, Dean let that change stand. "Last night when Jo and I stopped to wait out the storm." He stretched his legs out. "He showed up, actually knocked on the door instead of popping in. He thought Jo and I were in bed."
"And he out of the blue told you to take one?"
"He'd observed it's what couples do. You get a chance to look up any places?"
"Not yet. Fell asleep. I'll work on it tonight."
"Needs to be something she'll like, something she'll think is fun." He jiggled one foot, then glanced around. "Something else. He'd been hurt. His shirt…" Dean motioned at his side, plucked at the fabric there. "It had this bloody spot. He kept rubbing at it like it hurt or itched or something. Wouldn't tell me about it, said it was nothing."
"But he was hurt, so it was something. Somehow he was injured enough that it made him bleed and still feel it later." That was a good thing. It told them he could be hurt now. He was weakening.
"Yeah."
"It's about damn time."
"No kidding."
"If he was hurt, injured, and didn't heal right away, then he's losing powers. He's starting to bleed them." It was a tiny spot of hope in the situation at large. Now if they could figure out how to make him really bleed, they'd be able to make plans to kill him.
With a paranoid look around the room, they left that topic and brainstormed honeymoon ideas until Jo and Ellen returned downstairs. The two passed through Gwen and Arlene as they came into the room and the hallucination faded away.
Within two days, Sam and Dean had found what Dean thought was perfect. He went upstairs into the bedroom while Sam made the last of the arrangements for him. Jo was on the bed playing cards.
He clapped his hands together once and rubbed them together. "Alright, pack a bag."
Jo looked up from her game of solitaire. "Wait, we're going? I thought you and Sam had a job."
"Bobby said he'll take it with him and Ellen insisted she was going, too." He looked through his own bag, making sure it wasn't all dirty clothes. "Plan for about five or six days. Maybe two travel time. That should pacify Cas and count as a honeymoon."
A slow, amused smile turned her lips. "You seem strangely excited about this."
"Just get a bag packed." Between himself and Sam, they'd come up with an idea that was probably stupid, but something Castiel couldn't complain about because it wasn't real.
They'd found an amateur ghost hunting tour. Four days of exploring a spooky Colorado mansion, grounds, local cemetery, and town. Sam had dug up two hunter testimonies that it was all smoke, mirrors, and fake, with nothing that was even remotely real. The site was dead and Dean thought Jo would enjoy mocking everything about it.
They left the house not long after Sam, Ellen, and Bobby left. He avoided telling Jo where they were going, much to what appeared to be her aggravation. She spent the drive asking questions that he ignored or gave silly answers to. When they pulled up in front of the mansion turned hotel, she whistled.
"Wow. This is unexpected."
"Come on."
Inside, she let out another low whistle. "Fancy." Jo studied the entry hall, head tipping back to look at the carved ceiling. "Don't think I've ever stayed in a place this swanky."
Dean pretended he wasn't checking it out as well, adopting a nonchalant air about the mansion. He thought he might have seen this house on America's Castles once. "Nothing but the best for you, honey."
"Uh-huh. We're really down at the Super8, right?" She jerked her thumb towards the parking lot.
"Nope." He took her hand and started towards the front desk. "Got a reservation and everything."
"Again, wow. You really are taking this mandate seriously. What one earth did Castiel say to you the other day?"
"Just wait." At the desk, he smiled. "Hi. Reservation for two." He took a credit card from his wallet and held it out. "Mahogoff. Dean J." He'd used the name before and recently pulled it back into use. Enough time had passed that he thought it'd be okay.
The clerk ran his card, then handed him their keycards. "You're on the second floor, room 206. It's to the back of the house. Take the main stairs, make a left, take a right at the second hallway and you're all the way back at the corner."
"Thanks," Jo told him, pocketing her card.
"And here's your welcome packet for the tour." He held out a large manila envelope.
"Tour?" She reached for it, but Dean beat her to it, snatching it up.
"Thanks." He started back towards the front doors.
"What tour are we going on?"
"You're gonna want to be surprised on this. Trust me."
For a minute, he thought she was going to argue and try to take the envelope, but then she shrugged. "Okay. I trust you."
They retrieved their bags from the Impala and, as they walked up the grand staircase Dean told her, "Sam and I stayed at this sort of place before."
"You two? I can't see it."
"We have. The first time we did…. Place seemed kind of nice at first, a little spooky with dolls all over and crap like that. We were the last guests. Can you believe the owner thought we were gay?"
She laughed. "People jump to conclusions and you two let them half the time I bet."
"Maybe. Place had a ghost problem. A little girl almost died." They reached their room.
"But you stopped the ghost and saved the kid, right?"
He thought back a few seconds to that case. Sam had saved the girl and the ghost had gone. He'd forgotten that. "That we did."
Their tour guide and host was a man named Rex Thornton. He was short, skinny, and talked with a British accent - when he remembered to. His real accent was all New Jersey.
The delighted grin Jo gave Dean when she realized what sort of tour he'd brought her on made him grin in return. Slowly, their group was ready. There were six of them and Rex. Ten minutes into the man's spiel, Dean discovered he was right. Jo began to ask questions designed to irritate the snot out of Rex.
"Are they any questions so far," Rex asked.
Jo's hand shot in the air and she did the 'pick me' bounce up and down on her toes until he pointed at her. "What do you do if someone gets hurt?"
"911." Rex looked at Jo like she was mentally slow.
"No." She rolled her eyes. "What do you do to the ghost?"
"What do you mean 'do' to the ghost?"
Now she looked at him like he was slow. "If it hurts someone or kills them?"
"Ghosts do that," one nervous man from Missouri asked. He looked around like he expected the house to swallow him whole.
"No, they don't," Rex said with a sigh. "Lady, you've been watching too many horror movies. House on Haunted Hill isn't real."
She smiled sweetly and cocked her head. "The original or the remake? Because in the original, the haunting was fake."
"The remake. Geez."
He could see Rex labeling her in his mind, quite rightly, as a troublemaker. Dean was feeling rather relaxed, all things considered. Turned out, pretending to be seeing things was sort of fun, especially when it scared the crap out of everyone else.
Jo couldn't believe Dean had done this for her. He'd brought her to a fake ghost hunting set-up. It was as close to being back in the game as possible except it was fake and she could mock every step the ghost hunter made.
Dean had to be the sweetest guy ever.
She smiled as she opened up the folder of local literature in their room. It was filled with brochures for restaurants and things to do. On the fourth page, her smile faded. The fourth page was a full page add for the Church of Castiel. The fifth page, dedicated to other local churches, had all but the Roman Catholic church crossed out. Rome was beginning to really fight back, going straight to the book of Revelation to battle the Church of Cas. The 'Castiel is the Antichrist' movement was being funded by them now and all of the leaders had ceased to be killed.
Either Castiel had gotten bored with killing them, or he no longer cared with his church as big as it was.
"Where we going for dinner?" Dean finished filling two containers with salt. He pocketed one and held the other out to her.
She took it and slipped it into the inner pocket of her jacket, right beside her knife. "Haven't gotten to the restaurants yet."
"Hurry up. Let's get food before the night tour begins. We've only got an hour, Jo."
"I think we have plenty of time. Not like Rex would ever find anything."
She was having the time of her life and was very glad Dean had brought her here.
According to Dean, Jo was enjoying herself and it sounded to Sam like Dean was having fun as well. Good. They both needed that. Smiling, he hung up.
Beside him, Chuck returned that smile. "This trip will change their relationship, make them closer."
It was the most Chuck had said in the three days he'd been a constant hallucinatory companion. As Sam had once said, this hallucination didn't bother him. Chuck was a soothing hallucination. He hadn't said anything cryptic, but neither had he answered Sam's questions about past messages. His 'presence' gave Sam a reprieve from Lucifer and he felt almost normal for the first time in a long time. However, Ellen and Bobby kept giving him looks that indicated they were worried about how long this calm would last. They all knew he hadn't been miraculously healed from his problems.
"So?" Ellen raised a brow. "They having a good time?"
"Jo's been harassing their guide, Rex. Dean said the first two days have been surprisingly fun. Apparently, she gave Rex so much grief that he invited her to lead them down some spooky path and show off her bravery." He laughed. "She did and didn't bat an eye at any of the gags he'd set up along the way. Even pointed out a few before they were sprung. Dean says it's now war for the next two days only it's not fair to Rex because he's unarmed."
"At least there's no bodies."
"Yet."
"Sam!" It was Ellen's turn to laugh. Probably because it was true.
He held up his hands. "Hey, I have every confidence in Dean and Jo's ability to find or cause trouble, especially Dean's."
She sobered and gestured at the iPad. "You find everything we need?"
"Sure. And then some." An ache began to form at his temples. It hadn't been until the ache was gone that he'd realized it had been with him ever since he'd put himself together after Cas broke the wall down.
The door opened and Bobby came into the motel room. He took off his good coat, hung it on a hangar, and loosened his tie.
Chuck stretched out a hand and gripped Sam's shoulder the same way Dean did. It was a comforting gesture, a way to urge him to be strong.
The ache slid away once more and he was able to concentrate until the next day when they had the cursed object they'd been after safely put away. Chuck disappeared somewhere around the time they managed to get the cursed coffee mug put in a special box. Sam stood waiting for Ellen and Bobby to finish with the owner.
A warmth began to grow at his back, the scent of sulfur and burned wood rising up. He heard a crackling, like the rush of flames engulfing a structure, and then Lucifer spoke. "How did you do that, Sam?" He stepped up next to Sam, eyes narrowed and voice accusatory. "How did you keep me away? Are you…taking something?" His gaze slid over Sam. "No, that's not it. Something else. What are you hiding from me?"
He bit his cheek and tasted blood.
Lucifer's smile was almost tender in nature. "I've missed you. Let me show you how much."
The hallucinations began.
Being God wasn't everything Castiel had thought it'd be. The daily sifting of souls was, in reality, a boring task. When he'd transformed, he'd decided to sift them himself in order to continue adding to his powers, only it wasn't working like it had before he'd been transformed. What did seem to give him a boost, however, were the numbers of voices raised in praise towards him. When he was close to one of his churches and he heard their songs of love and worship, he felt strong, invincible, and unstoppable.
He finished with the daily sifting. A few went to heaven, a few to hell, and a few to him. He'd tried to catch the souls bound for Purgatory and failed. They disappeared into that territory before he could touch them and he'd been unable to change the way that had been set up by his predecessor.
Castiel visited two of his churches, new ones, and went to find Dean and Jo. He was sorry he hadn't noticed the server had been filming that conversation he and Jo had had. He'd taken care of that the same way he had the time Ellen had been on tv. Jo shouldn't have been bothered by anyone the past few days.
Since Dean and Jo been obedient, he was of the mind to give them a gift, something to display the affection he was feeling for their submission to him. They deserved a show of love from him. It was time to give them a blessing.
He knew what Dean would ask for. He'd want the same thing he always wanted: Sam fixed. But Castiel was unable to fix Sam. Whatever ailed the man still slid from Castiel's grasp whenever he laid hands on him. He'd even become convinced that Sam's illness was mocking him somehow, which was impossible. Illness didn't mock. Illness wasn't a living thing to mock. Yet Sam's evaded him with something very much like a skill, hiding inside his mind. A continued frustration.
What would Jo ask for? He suspected she was going to want the one thing she couldn't have. She'd want her freedom to hunt and that wasn't in his plan for her.
Maybe he'd increase her fertility, make Dean's dream of a family a more real prospect. Ellen had said it was a bad idea and while he'd agreed at the time, doing so was a sort of gift to Jo and Dean. It'd give them a better chance than chance alone.
He could do that or perhaps he'd cordon off Sioux Falls, make it a no creature zone, and hide them from those things that would hurt them all.
By the time he found them, he had quite a few choices to present them with and was even excited to talk to them. He touched down, his smile fading away as he observed the scene before him.
The first thing Castiel felt upon seeing them in a cemetery digging up a grave was surprise. He thought he'd made it clear that Jo wasn't to be out hunting. She was supposed to leave that life behind and create a new, safer one. She was to give Dean a family. It was the entire purpose behind her being raised from the dead.
The second thing he felt was anger mixed with a hefty dose of disappointment. They were out on a job. They were disobeying. Jo was disobeying. He stood, rooted to the spot, watching with fists clenched at his sides. If they'd lied about her involvement in work, what else had they lied about?
Dean was doing the digging, Jo standing by ready with salt and, presumably, a lighter. She held a flashlight so Dean could see.
Castiel knew the two ghosts were coming long before they arrived. He decided not to intervene just yet. If Jo got hurt a little, it would remind her how hard this life was. He could always step in if the danger became too great for either of them. It'd be good for her to have that reminder.
But there turned out to be no need of his assistance. Jo and Dean worked well together and, vaguely, he recalled Ellen saying that Jo had cut her hunting teeth on ghosts. They were what Ellen had insisted they start with after she'd found Jo.
Still, this was a flagrant flouting of the rules he'd put forth for Jo. If she died, he'd have to raise her again and he'd promised Dean she'd be safe from harm. He was going to have to discipline her.
Closing his eyes, Castiel bowed his head.
When he was through disciplining her, he'd have to discipline Dean as well, because Dean had been there. He knew as well as Jo what her role was and this wasn't it. He didn't want to, yet like children, they apparently required having their memories refreshed on what he'd ordered.
But not now. Now, Castiel needed time to think on the sort of punishment the two would respond the best to. He slipped away to lend further consideration to the crime.
They were covered in mud and muck from digging up two graves and left their shoes and jackets by the door to take care of later.
Dean gestured at the bathroom as he pulled off his shirt. "Shower is all yours, Jo."
The hunt had been exhilarating there at the end. When the ghosts had shown up and begun terrorizing the group, killing one member and injuring another, they'd been the only ones who hadn't backed down. Rex had run away. Dean and Jo had stood their ground, gotten the group to safety, done a spot of research, and saved the day. The ghosts were gone and Jo had enjoyed the entire process.
Her joy in it had in turn given him joy. For a moment, Dean had remembered what joy in the life felt like. He'd remembered his twenties, before his dad had disappeared, and how he'd been carefree and happy with where he'd been. He'd enjoyed his work once and having this hunt with Jo reawakened that. A strong burst of nostalgia had been brought forth from somewhere deep inside him.
Taking the items from his pockets (car keys, wallet, change, and lighter), he moved to drop them on the table. Behind him came the rustling of cloth and no answer from Jo. "Jo?" Turning back to her, he found her standing naked, her clothes strewn about on the floor.
Stepping to him, she hooked her fingers in the belt loops of his jeans and tugged him against her. "I was sort of planning on you joining me. I really need help soaping my back." She worked the buckle of his belt and raised up, pressing a kiss beside his mouth. "And my front…."
He didn't resist the temptation.
The shower was foreplay, their hands moving over each other in sensual trails, washing away the sludge from the hunt. Their mouths met, over and over, and it was a miracle neither of them slipped and fell trying to get back out of the tub.
At the doorway back into their room, Dean paused, one hand on her hip, the other cupping one breast that fit perfectly into his palm. "Tell me no," he ordered her, already knowing that wouldn't happen. He could see it in her eyes. There was no stopping. Not this time. They were going to move forward no matter what it brought in the future. He knew it and so did she.
Her hands slid across his shoulders. "Yes."
There was a sudden lump in his throat and Dean swallowed hard past it. "Jo."
Raising her hands, Jo cupped his face, thumbs rubbing against his jaw. "I'm a big girl. I know what I'm getting myself into." She nodded. "Yes."
He was happy to note a short while later that she had not, in fact, been re-hymenated when Castiel had raised her from the dead.
Lucifer hadn't stopped his assault on Sam for two days. He'd been a constant presence, a flipside to those three days with Chuck.
"Stop," Sam whispered, squeezing his eyes closed. They weren't stopping. Lucifer wasn't stopping. "Please," he pleaded. Desperation rolled over him like a wave.
"You know you love me, Sammy boy."
He had to make it all go away and there was only one tried and true method of doing that that he knew of.
Reaching out, he grabbed the knife that had been on his belt. Sam drew it across his arm, hissing at the pain. Lucifer's image wavered and he drew the knife across again, making four cuts before the image disappeared entirely. In relief, he smiled, then looked down at the blood dripping from his arm. The smile faded, replaced by dread.
What have I done, Sam thought, horrified that he'd done one thing he'd swore he wouldn't do again. He'd hurt himself. Staunching the blood with a cloth, Sam cried.
For a long time, he stared at his image in the bathroom mirror. Shame that he'd given in to the urge to hurt himself welled up and he reached for the doorknob. He stepped out into the hall and made his way to where Ellen and Bobby were. Sam stood there, not saying anything until Ellen looked over at him.
"You okay, sweetie?"
He blinked, tears sliding down his face, and held out his arm. "I need help." Sam shrugged. "I can't stop him without…."
"What did you do," Bobby asked, getting up from his seat.
Slowly, he lifted the cloth, revealing the four cuts, then put the cloth back over them. "A temporary fix."
Ellen came to him, hugged him, and touched his face with gentle fingers. "We'll get this figured out. We'll take care of you."
He let her doctor the cuts and when Bobby handed him a sleeping pill and glass of water, he took both. Maybe it'd be best if he just slept until Dean and Jo got back.
"Your daughter is a magnet for weird," Dean announced to Ellen when he came through the door and saw her there in Bobby's chair.
She put down the notebook she was perusing. "I could've told you, but you never asked me. What happened?"
"Our supposedly dead site had not one, but two freakin' ghosts running around. I had assurances it was all fake, Ellen. Two hunters Bobby knows. Garth and some other guy named Bud."
"Did you have fun?"
"Did we ever. The look on her face when she realized it wasn't a prank and we had live ones…. She was happy, Ellen. My God, she was practically glowing. It was…. I haven't seen her this happy since Cas brought her back. She really likes the work."
"She does," Ellen agreed. She contemplated him with slightly narrowed eyes. "You look different."
"Different?" He went to the couch and sat.
Jo came in, dropped her bag on the floor, and grinned. "You tell her about the supposed ghost hunter screaming like a little girl and running away? Tough guy my ass. Those ghosts totally owned him."
Ellen's brows rose. "And that's what's different."
"What's she talking about," Jo asked him. "What's different?"
The soft smile that curved Ellen's lips was a bit sad. "Nothing, sweetie. Just me talking out loud."
"Uh-huh." Jo clearly didn't believe her, quirking a brow and waiting. When no further explanation was forthcoming, she dropped the subject in favor of her favorite one at present: the honeymoon. She'd been talking about the fun they'd had all the way back. "The ghost hunter's name was Rex. Pretentious much?" She flopped down onto the couch. "You could tell he'd never seen anything really spooky in his life. The guy knew nothing. He didn't even know about salt or iron." She leaned over and rested her head on Dean's shoulder. "He was pathetic."
"How'd your thing go," Dean asked, putting an arm around Jo.
Ellen got up and set the notebook on the desk, her back to him. "Coulda gone better. Bobby's got four stitches in his arm, Sam screamed like a banshee all one night and got us kicked out of two motels, and I broke Sam's iPad."
"What were you hunting?" Her voice and manner was odd, like she was holding something back.
She snorted. "Cursed object. Would have been fine except Sam saw birds again. That spooked the owner who really does suffer from the fear of birds."
"Ornithophobia," Dean supplied for her.
"Yeah, that. Funny, thing, too, and not the ha-ha sort. Sam was fine for three days. No hallucinations or seizures. Was like they were just gone. He was like his old self and then….. Man, it hit him hard when it came back around. Anyway, the owner panicked, ran into Bobby, knocking him into a sharp piece of metal jutting from the railing on his front steps, and in the process of trying to catch Bobby, I dropped the iPad and stepped on it. That made me lose my balance and I fell, too…back down onto the iPad. It was like a Three Stooges routine, Dean. The two set off down the street, Sam ducking from imaginary birds and the owner ducking too because Sam said there were birds. Took me half an hour to calm them down so we could get Bobby fixed up and then Sam had muttered arguments with Lucifer all the way back."
"But you got the object put away safely, right?"
She turned and stared at him. "Dean…."
"What?" There was something seriously wrong. The sadness in her eyes was too deep. Beside him, Jo sat up, also seeming to sense trouble. "Ellen, what's wrong?"
"There was an incident."
"What kind of incident," Jo asked.
"Incident." Cold slid over him in a rush and he got a very bad feeling about Ellen's next words. "Is Sam okay?"
"Yes and no." She came to the chair to the right of the couch and eased back into it, leaning towards him slightly as she spoke. "We got back a few hours ago, he went into the bathroom, and came out half an hour later with a towel pressed to his arm. He'd cut himself four times trying to make Lucifer go away. He's indicated he's willing to get treatment now if we can find a doctor who won't commit him and won't ask too many questions."
Dean sat stunned. Before he and Jo had left, Sam had been adamant about not seeing a doctor, but whatever had happened in the past week had made him change his mind. "Where is he?"
"Sleeping. We bandaged his arm, gave him a sleeping pill, and made him go lie down. I've been checking on him every twenty minutes or so. He should wake up in a few more hours." She sat back. "Bobby's out seeing a couple docs he knows and I'm going through my own contacts. We'll find someone who'll help him. Between all of us, there's got to be someone."
Dean hoped that Darla's suggestion would give them answers and that, when Sam was medicated, no hallucinations would remain standing.