Impulse control had never been my strong suit. I was barely 22 when I started working for Kubra and it didn't take me long to learn stupid, careless mistakes would cost you. People came and went quickly in that line of work and there was no cover up as to what happened to someone who fucked up. Once I learned the game, I was extremely careful to play it correctly. That was made me move up so quickly in the ranks and by 25, I was Kubra's most profitable trafficker, I owned my own huge loft in the village and I had purchased a house for my mom (Diane didn't ask too many questions about what I did for a living and I offered very few details other than I worked as an art importer for a private company. I simply omitted the fact I was importing drugs instead of art but that wasn't important at the time). The only time I had screwed up was after my mom died and Piper left and my head was all over the place. He'd given me a second chance and I had considered myself lucky because Kubra Balik didn't give second chances but really, I was the unluckiest woman in the world. No, not unlucky. Stupid and naive and hurting. I was always taking dumb risks, like meeting the sperm donor who I thought would be the missing piece to my puzzle but in actuality, was a huge disappointment. Impulsively, I took a job with Kubra to make myself feel important. And again, I was impulsive when I saw Piper for the first time, initially thinking she'd make a good mule and then falling for her so hard it consumed me.

So yeah, I tended to not look before I leaped but shit, this was different. I didn't care what happened to me, not really, not anymore, but I would be damned if I was about to let Piper pay for what I'd gotten myself into, what I'd gotten us both into.

Nicky, who was not as impetuous as I was (pretty ironic, considering her past) begged me not to meet with Kubra. "So you both can get fucking killed?" She implored me, "What are you thinking, dude?"

"I'm not, actually, " I pushed air out through my bottom teeth impatiently.I had no time for this and every second I wasted with inconsequential bullshit was another second where I couldn't get to Piper. "Just doing what I have to do."

"He plays games," Nikki argued, pacing up and down the cube like a caged animal. "You fucking said so yourself. So you're gonna show your face out behind the kitchen with no gun, no plan and no fucking clue and then what? Count's in fourty five minutes, Vause. They're all fucking morons around here lately but someone's gonna realize you two are missing. What if Kubra panics and just wastes you and Piper? Then all of this is for shit."

"Calm yourself, Nicky," Red scolded, placing a finger to her lips."Do you want to draw more attention?" She looked at me. "Vause is doing the right thing. We bring anyone into this, Chapman's dead. We don't even know where he's keeping her." The older woman paused and stared pointedly at Nicky. "What would you do if it were Lorna, huh? Would you just trust these morons, as you put it, to find her?"

I could tell without even looking at Nicky that Red had struck a nerve. "Then it's a fucking good thing we aren't talking about me, isn't it?" She turned to me. "Look, I get it, I do. You love her and you want to save her. It makes total sense except for one thing." Nicky stopped her frantic pacing to grab me by the shoulders, pulling herself up to her full, 5'2 height. "Kubra is a sociopath. He blows people away without a second thought. Don't try to be a hero, Vause." She regarded me seriously. "I don't think it'll end well. For either of you."

"I have no choice, Nick. I got Pipes into this whole mess and I'm going to get her out. Or die trying anyway. He wants something from me and I'm going to see what it is because I'll do anything if it means he'll let her go."

Nicky eyes were unreadable. "You really think he's just going to let her go?"

I knew how fucked this all was. I knew that a full out shitstorm was going to go down but I couldn't think about any of that. All that mattered was Piper. If I could see with my own eyes he hadn't touched her I could breath. And if I could breath, I could come up with a plan.

I turned to Red, grateful for her strong presence and grateful that she would be the one to prevent Nicky from going off the deep end and running to Caputo, no matter how strained their relationship was. "Can you do me a favor, when they do count? Can you make up a story as to where we are? Say we're together, say anything. Just to buy me some time until they sound the alarms and lockdown. Please."

Red took my hands in hers and squeezed with unexpected gentleness. "Go find her."

I put my hand over my shirt pocket where Pipes's letter lay. "I plan on it."