Chapter Fourteen

If you look hard enough an ending is just a segway to a new beginning

It had been a long few years since Thor had seen his brother in person. His exchange was only supposed to be for a year but Odin gladly extended it when Loki asked him too. Loki's time in the prestigious New England colleges had done him well. He quickly was picked up by a local school publisher then a larger one until he finally had a book in every bookstore in the nation.

Thor know not of what it was about nor could he bring himself to care, Loki had caused him so much pain and while Thor was truly happy that his brother had finally gotten what he wanted out of his life but he could not bring himself to celebrate for him. When Loki had left, he took a large part of Thor's heart with him that he just could not seem to fill again. Jane quickly fell out of it after Loki's departure, they remained friends but it would never be the same, even after graduation. Yet even after landing his dream job of helping mentally disabled children regain movement through exercise, he could not find a constant happiness in his life as he had before. He fell into himself choosing only to have communication with his parents, which too disappeared when Thor moved out and truly made a hermit of himself. Sif and his other friends reached out but the calls went unanswered, texts unread.

He could not remember how long it had been since he last talked to his mother when she showed up at his door unannounced but he did not have the energy to feel guilty over it and instead showed her to the kitchen and put the kettle on.

"I do not pretend to know the nature of yours and your brothers relationship but nor do I allow myself to be naive enough to pretend it is simply caring for your sibling." She said casually sipping and looking at her blonde son over the rim of her mug.

Thor sputtered and unable to figure out what to say sat there for a few minutes doing a wonderful impersonation of a fish taken out of water. Unable to meet his mother's eyes as he wondered just how thick the walls of their old room was and how much they both knew of Loki's and his relationship. Had that been why they had been so willing to send him off? Did Loki even want to go or was he forced? Is that why he never said good bye?

As if reading his mind Frigg grabbed his larger hand gently "Loki left of his own accord, darling." Thor felt his heart drop once again "This was a very big opportunity for him and he could not afford to let it go after he worked so hard for it. But rest assured it was not an easy one for him to make, I do not know the reason for his leaving without saying good bye but I imagine it was just because he would not have been able to leave once he saw the distraught it would surely have brought you."

Thor tried to understand but only ended up tearing up at her words rubbing gingerly at his eyes while Frigg stood and rubbed soothing circles onto his back.

"I cared for him so much mother and he just left he hasn't even called or written once since he vanished." Thor sobbed out head in hands.

"I know my son, I know" Frigg rubbed slightly harder on her sons muscular back "As good as this choice has been for him I think he's regretted it since the moment he signed that paperwork. I like to believe he has chosen not to make contact with us because of the pain it would bring him to think of what he left behind. That he is so far away from his family and loved ones. But he has not gone totally without contact…." She trailed off and Thor looked her deep in the eyes noticing that Loki's departure had not just affected him but the great toll it had had on his mother as a few more wrinkles appeared then last time and her usually perfect hair was just a little too out of place. But she looked straight back at him and continued "he called last night. He has graduated now and they are building a publishing press about 10 miles from here so he will be returning tomorrow evening. I hope you will see him."

She finished and stood; hope glowing in her eyes as she looked at Thor still sitting with his head put back into his hands. "I will try mother but I can promise nothing." He prayed that she didn't notice the slight tremor that his hands had; he wasn't ready to admit that he was terrified.

Frigg shook her head understandingly though Thor could not see it and gently patted his hair before placing something on the kitchen table and taking her leave. If Thor noticed he took no action on it and instead sat lost in thought over what his mother had said. He was sure Loki had his reasons and he knew he would forgive him the moment he saw his brother but what he did not know was if he was ready for that or not.

After what seemed like hours Thor stood to make himself dinner and bypassed the table without a thought failing to notice what was on it before eating and throwing himself into bed. He slept harder that night then he had since Loki left and woke feeling the relief of a full night only to matched by the terror of Loki sitting on his windowsill.

"You did not come to the airport" Loki tried to hide the hurt in his voice and looked out the window "Mother said it has been hard on you since I left and I apologize."

"You did not say goodbye" Was the only reply Thor could get out as he stood and dressed away from Loki's line of vision. He caught a glimpse of his brother from the corner of his eye. He looked good, maybe even a little better than before he left. His body held a healthy figure, at least which meant he was eating properly. But it was in his eyes that nearly made Thor stop what he was doing and turn to look at them. They were a brilliant green that shone brighter than any gem he'd ever seen. He had to tear his gaze away so he didn't do anything stupid.

"Thor please let me explain" Loki started but was quickly interrupted by Thor announcing that he was going to start breakfast if Loki wanted any and rushed into the kitchen. Finally noticing what Frigg had left on the table. A small box in plain brown wrapping, Thor opened it and nearly dropped it once he saw what was inside. A book, Loki's book.

The Secrets They Shared.

Thor was too distracted by the beautiful red wording and the green cover to notice Loki sneak behind him until he grabbed his waist.

"Have you read it brother?" He asked nervously reminding Thor of when he used to come to Loki to proofread his essays in school.

"No, not yet."

"Look in the cover brother…please" Loki hid his head behind Thor's shoulder and the large muscle behind it moved to open the book and a short gasp left Thor as he read the dedication.

Thor~

I am sorry for what I have done

It will not be easy to rebuild

But it will be worth it

Thor felt a tear fall loosely down his bearded cheek but could not bring himself to care as he swung around to look Loki straight in the eyes. Loki opened his mouth as to explain but had no chance as Thor took him into a bruising kiss that Loki was only too happy to return. All the angry and resentment of the last few years fell out into the kiss as the boys bruised each other's lips and lightly cried. This lasting for unknown minutes until Loki pulled away to breath and Thor embraced him into a tight hug because Loki was right.

It would not be easy to mend what has been broken, but it will be worth it.

~MoMo