Disclaimer: i do not own any characters or song lyrics mentioned in this story!
Important authors note at the end, please read!
Hope you like the chapter!
'Edward!' I spoke sternly down the phone. I was standing at the front of the hospital, it was pouring down but at this precise moment I didn't care. All I cared about was calming Edward down and Carlisle getting better. I had been at the hospital since 10pm last night..it was now 9am in the morning. Carlisle hadn't made much progress.
'Bella, he's my father! I'm coming to the hospital!' I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath, knowing he would have his fists clenched right now.
'Listen to me..he doesn't want you to see him how he is right now Edward and its no good on you or Alice seeing your dad how he is after losing your mother only last night..its not fair on Alice having to come back to this place either!' I sighed as I heard Edward huff and a bang in the background. 'Think of Alice..'
'Fine' he hissed before hanging up angrily. I looked up at the sky, rain pouring down onto my face, and tears falling from my eyes.
'Please let Carlisle be okay God? I'll do anything..' I whispered, when I felt somebody put their hand on my right shoulder. I turned to see a familiar face. A face I never wanted to see again for the rest of my life. I could feel my hands begin to shake, whilst I placed them on my stomach. I stepped away so there was some distance between us.
'Didn't you get the message Jacob?' I confidently spat.
'I'm sorry..I'm just trying to do my job..I've been asked to look for you..Doctor Cullen is asking for you.' I shoved past him, and began to walk back to the a&e centre where Carlisle was. I was about to walk into his room, when I heard a lot of panic nearby.
'Excuse me miss! Can you move out of the way!' I heard someone shout, I turned to see who they were talking to when I saw a pregnant lady lying on a hospital bed, being pushed by two paramedics, and a man running behind them. She was crying and screaming holding on to her stomach, and then man looked as white as a ghost.
'He's not suppose to be here yet! He's too early' the woman was crying. I stepped aside letting them through and nearly fell against Carlisle's door. My heart broke for the woman, I put my hand on my tummy and began rubbing soothing circles. I closed my eyes and said a little prayer for the lady and her baby.
I opened the wooden brown door, leading into Carlisle's private room. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, tears in my eyes and my expression blank. I never thought I'd see Carlisle in hospital..only ever thought it would always be me in the hospital and Carlisle coming to see me..not the other way round. Especially for something intentional. He looked so weak, his usual beautiful and happy face now drained and sad looking. His eyes red and puffy, staring into space. He looked lifeless, as if he'd given up on life and everyone and everything around him.
'Why?' I whispered, sitting on the chair beside him. He turned his head to look at me. His eyes full of tears, and despair. He opened his mouth to speak, before changing his mind and looking away. 'Why would you do this Carlisle?'
'I couldn't lose you both..' He mumbled looking away from me. '..I needed to see her again, make her understand what happened..apologise to her..tell her how I truly felt about you..how much I love you, but after what you said last night in the hospital..I knew how you felt' he spoke, turning to look at me.
'So you thought killing yourself was the answer?!' I gasped in anger. After everything his two children had already been through. He was trying to kill himself over me. 'I already blame myself for Esme..and now..now your telling me this and doing this?' I began to cry. Carlisle slowly reached over to take hold of my hand, but I pulled it away shaking my head.
'P..please Is..I..I know it was a stupid thing to do..I just couldn't bear to be without you. What choice did I have? I can't live without you. I love you' I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath, trying to act confident and truthful..even though my heart was breaking and I was about to tell the man I was in love with, a horrible lie.
'Well, I'm sorry Carlisle. Your going to have to learn to live without me. I'm with Edward, I love him. Not you. You need to move on, most of all you need to grieve the loss of your wife! After all I was just a bit of fun on the side..just as you were for me!' I exclaimed, walking away from him.
'Is..please?' He begged.
'No!' I shouted at him. All I wanted to do was to fall into his arms. Have him hold me. Tell him everything was okay and we'd get through it all..but I couldn't. I couldn't be with him anymore, although he hadn't meant what he said to me in our arguments, I still believed it all. I couldn't be with him. It wasn't right, not after everything that had happened. I couldn't leave Edward for him. What happened if I did leave Edward and then Carlisle left? I'd have noone. My babies would have noone. I don't understand why Carlisle would even want to be with me, let alone love me.
'They're releasing you some time today. Edward will pick you up later.' I swallowed, closing the door behind me. As soon as I left his room, the tears began to fall freely. I walked out of the front doors of the hospital, the rain still falling from the dull sky above. I sat on a soaked bench to ring a taxi. I'd gone with Carlisle in the ambulance and left dads car in the driveway.
'Taxi from Forks hospital please. Mrs Cullen' I spoke quickly.
'Its on its way' the receiver replied. I hung up, holding my phone in my hand. Staring down at it. I hated myself for what I'd said to Carlisle, but what else could I do? I couldn't let this affair go on any longer.
I climbed into the sky blue Ford Focus taxi and gave the driver my address to the cottage.
'I'm on the way home, absolutely shattered. Your dad wants to see you. xx' I texted Edward. My phone went off almost immediately.
'Will leave now, look after yourself baby. Xx' Edward replied. He'd changed his attitude again..shouting down the phone at me earlier, and now he's fine. Was he really a changed man though? He hadn't hit me for a while, but does that mean I can trust him?
'Horrible weather today, eh miss?' The taxi driver said trying to break the silence. He had a very husky Irish voice.
'I don't wanna hear about it' I muttered. His expression changed automatically, as if he didn't know what to reply. I wasn't trying to be mean but all I wanted to do was get home. He pulled up just outside the cottage and turned to look at me.
'That's $12 miss' he smiled carefully. I handed him $15, and climbed out.
'Thanks. Keep the change' I sighed. He nodded thankfully, and left without another word. I walked to the cottage door, and into the front room. Alice and Jasper sitting on the sofa, watching Titanic. Alice had a tissue in her left hand, and Jasper had his arm over her shoulder, with Alice's head on his chest and their free hands entwined. They looked so cute together. Me and Carlisle had only looked like that a few days ago when we watched The Last Song. A tear came to my eye at the thought of all the love we had for one another..the love we still have but cannot keep. I turned and began to tiptoe to mine and Edwards room.
'Bella, is that you?' I heard Alice grumble. I sighed again, and walked back the front room.
'Yeah, its me Al. Sorry, I'm just gonna go to bed for a couple of hours.' I announced apologetically for disturbing them.
'Its fine Bell, don't worry about it. How's dad?'
'He's..he's..fine' I stuttered, not wanting to talk about him. Alice looked at me, and I could tell straight away she didn't believe a word I was saying. 'Look..I'm going to bed. Wake me up in an hour or so?' She nodded in agreement and I walked to my room.
We had a massive kingsize bed in the middle of the room, and then a huge walk in closet on the left for all of our clothes, and shoes. I also had a dresser on the other side of the room, with all my perfume bottles, hair accessories and make-up on with a big mirror. Edward was adamant his aftershave and deodorant was going to stay in a drawer. On the wall opposite where our bed was facing we had a 50inch LCD tv on the wall. If it was my choice I would of just had a 26inch one or even smaller, but of course Edward was determined he wanted a massive one. At the sides were built in surround sound and underneath the television on a cabinet we had a retro cd player and inside the cabinet tons of cd albums in alphabetical order. I walked to the cabinet and picked out instantly my favourite band. Greenday. I placed the cd with care into the cd player pressing play and falling onto the bed, lying on my side. I placed my hand on my stomach, and my other hand underneath the pillow holding it close to my face. Tears began to fall down my face, because of all the horrible things I had said to Carlisle, and how I had betrayed Edward.
"Where in the world's the forgotten?
They're lost inside your memory
You're dragging on, your heart's been broken
As we all go down in history
Where in the world did the time go?
It's where your spirit seems to roam
Like losing faith to our abandon
Or an empty hallway from a broken home
Well don't look away from the arms of a bad dream
Don't look away, sometimes you're better lost than to be seen
I don't feel strange, it's more like haunted
Another moment trapped in time
I can't quite put my finger on it
But it's like a child that was left behind
So where in the world's the forgotten?
Like soldiers from a long lost war
We share the scars from our abandon
And what we remember becomes folklore
Well, don't look away from the arms of a bad dream
Don't look away, sometimes you're better lost than to be seen
Don't look away from the arms of a moment
Don't look away from the arms of tomorrow
Don't look away from the arms of a moment
Don't look away from the arms of love
Well, don't look away from the arms of a bad dream
Don't look away, sometimes you're better lost than to be seen
Don't look away from the arms of a moment
Don't look away from the arms of tomorrow
Don't look away from the arms of a moment
Don't look away from the arms of love"
I fell asleep to the sound of Greenday singing my exact feelings, as if they knew my thoughts at that precise moment.
'I can't get her to wake up. She keeps screaming and shouting for help but she won't open her eyes' I heard Alice's panicked voice. I tried to open my eyes but they felt too heavy. I tried to move my body but that too felt like I had no control over it.
'Let me check her over' I heard a familiar voice speak sadly but softly. It was Carlisle.
'Dad, you've just come out of hopsital yourself. You're in no fit state' Edwards voice lectured.
'Do not tell me what to do! I am checking her and your not going to stop me. Alice, Edward please leave.' Carlisle growled. I heard the door close violently. I suddenly felt like a was choking. As if I was suffocating or drowning. I felt my hand being taken in someone else's and the back of my hand being rubbed gently.
'Isabella, listen to me. You need to stay calm' I did what the voice said, and tried to clear all my thoughts. I suddenly felt a wash of freedom escalate around my body, and my eyes suddenly flickered around the room looking for a sign of what had happened. I saw a figure sitting on the side of my bed, looking down on me. . I sat up quickly and grabbed hold of the person, hugging him tightly to me. His arms enclosed round me and I felt him kiss my head. I didn't care who it was. I felt so scared over what had just happened.
'Your okay. You just suffered a bit of what's called Sleep Paralysis..its happens to me sometimes' he began explaining, trying to calm me down. I lifted my head slightly and looked up at him. His beautiful blue eyes, looking down at me. I recognised the eyes immediately, and his golden blond hair.
'Carlisle..' I whispered. I wanted to stay like this, but I knew we couldn't. I pushed my hands against his chest, moving him away from me. '..we can't do this anymore'. He let go of me and rose standing from the bed, and walked towards the door.
'I understand..' He whispered. I slowly followed him out of the room, and to the front room before seeing suitcases sitting in the middle of the room.
'What's going on?' I asked.
'We're all going to dads for a while till after the funeral. We need to keep a close eye on him and there's not enough room' Edward explained. I looked to Carlisle, back to Edward and then Bear and Benjii, our dogs who were now sitting at my feet. I didn't want to go back to that house, there were too many memories. I couldn't handle it.
'What about Bear and Benjii?' I asked, using them as an excuse.
'They're coming with us' Edward announced. I turned to walk back to my room.
'Well..I'm not. I'm staying here.' I muttered. I heard Edward growl behind me before feeling my hair being yanked back and then my back being slammed against the wall. I winced in pain as my back met the wall with Edward standing in front of me, with no escape out.
'I said we..that means me and you bitch!' He roared before throwing his fist into the wall right next to my face. I flinched my head away and squeezed my eyes shut waiting for the next punch.
'GET OFF HER' I heard Carlisle shout, trying to pull Edward away from me. Edward grabbed hold of neck and began to squeeze. I began to feel weak and covered my stomach protectively with my arms. I started to cough, trying to keep breathing and fighting.
'Want the house to yourself so your lover can come over?' He spat in my face. I tried to shake my head underneath his hold. 'Your a slut' he shouted, letting go of my neck and hitting my head off the wall. I felt blood begin to trickle down my head.
'I SAID GET OFF OF HER!' Carlisle shouted, dragging Edward off and punching him. I fell to the floor and began spluttering, and breathing irrationally. I heard Carlisle and Edward arguing. I grabbed hold of a tea towel near me and scrunched it up to my bleeding head. I then felt someone grab hold of my arm and pull me up.
'We're going to dads..but trust me this isn't over' Edward hissed in my ear, pulling me out of the house and shoving me in the back seats of the car. I looked out of the window and saw Carlisle appear at the car door, continuing to argue with Edward. He climbed into the back of the car sitting next to me, both Alice and Edward climbed into the front seats after putting Benjii and Bear in the car too. Luckily Alice hadn't seen what had happened. She knew something was going on but not what and I wanted it to stay that way. I didn't want her to change her views on her brother. They were so close and she thought the world of him.
Carlisle discreetly placed his hand on my knee and looked over at me. I moved my knee away from his hand and stared out of the window. Alice turned on the radio and both her and Edward began to sing along to a Kings Of Leon song. Edward's personality changed straight away, and he stopped watching me in the rear mirror.
'Are you okay?' Carlisle whispered. I turned to look at him, my eyes welling up as I shook my head. He grabbed hold of my hand and squeezed it. 'I won't let him hurt you again, if its the last thing I do' I looked back out of the window, rain steaming the window, I turned back to Carlisle and nodded.
'I love you' he mouthed silently to me.
'I love you too' I mouthed back quietly before staring ahead of me.
Authors note; Thank you for all of your reviews so far! I am taking the suggestions on board and trust me Edward and Bella do break up but not yet as its essential to my story plot when they break up. However please do make suggestions as my story plot may change :)
Please keep reviewing! I would love to hear from some of the people who have followed the story as well! So here's the deal, I'll upload again as soon as I reach 30+ reviews :)