DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: Any guys/girls that have felt themselves like two people at the same time and at different moments, like one more than the other and vice versa will understand how Brooke is feeling. So yes, whoever said/thought she was 'see-sawing' or whatever between the two, it's true:3 Enjoy:D
Oh and you're probably going to pull your hair out from the frustration (who will she choose? That is the question ShakespeareXD) and then throw that at me because of this chapter...hehehe.
Please leave a review if you can!
The third week since Logan's departure, was everything started to get really tight during the team. I saw it be split down the middle, except unevenly all the same. Victor, Zero and Fred were for staying at first; John, Chris and I were for leaving for the most part. That's how I put it in my mind at least; John never spoke of leaving unless Chris and me were around.
The tension was worse when Wade was around. He hadn't bluntly showed where his alliance was and slower, when Monday came around, I begun to see it as a race against the clock. Wade would give the one other side an advantage.
Many times, I saw him leaning towards the other side. He talked with Zero, or least talked to Zero (rarely he got a response but he wasn't pushed away like normal), more often than he did. But he still socialized with John and I; Chris said not one word the past two weeks. Not one unless, "Yes sir" or some other small, short response to Stryker.
Though I still had bruises and had to stretch more often than usual, my body was completely healed. Maybe I healed faster than an average human; who knows, that just means I have a better chance of escaping. So after the killing of the family, Stryker sent me to train with Wade. It was Tuesday of the third week.
"So…" Wade started as we worked on hand-to-hand combat in the gym.
I gave him a blank stare, dodging his unusually slow advances with his feet and hands. I didn't encourage him to say anything; he knew and I knew that I was avoiding him. I knew the reason why but I wasn't sure if Wade fully realized it yet. I heard from John, that he was the one to dealt the blow to the children's fathers since Victor had started to fight with the other male.
"Why so quiet?"
I blocked another hand combo but barely missed his sudden strike at my arm.
"Ah, I see. Silent treatment."
I still said nothing, took a few paces back and lowered my fists. My eyes locked on his for a moment and I swear a small blush came onto his face. Why, if it did happen, I don't know but I blamed it on the lighting. Wade Wilson never feels insecure enough to blush around anyone, especially me.
"Oh come on Brooke say something!" came his sudden outburst. Stupid, inconsiderate asshole!
Immediately the sign of weakness, Wade almost frowned and started to beat the nearest punching bag. I took a thoughtful, long drink from my water bottle and finally answered: "What?"
I thought I heard Wade groan but he glanced at me.
"You know what."
"Uh… no, I don't. Besides you were having a conniption fit about me not responding to you."
He frowned again but it disappeared immediately.
"You… Chris- hell, even John! Have been quiet since we bagged those guys."
My body immediately tensed up as he struck that fragile cord inside of me.
"I wouldn't call it 'bagging' Wade," I whispered in a raspy voice.
"What?" He stopped, grabbed the bag and halted it from swinging. I looked him in the eye then mine darted to look at the ground.
"I said I wouldn't call it 'bagging' Wade."
He gave a small laugh and said with his signature goofy grin/smirk, "And what would you call it?"
I paused then proceeded not to tell him what I thought. I dropped my bottle, allowing it to clatter to the ground and brushed past him. I started to work the combo's I learned from him on a different bag. He stood there for a moment, his lips pursed slightly as he tried to figure me out. But Wade, not always a great thinker, gave up and approached me from behind.
I whipped around to face Wade; about to engage him into a small mock fight but he got my wrist. I narrowed my eyes as I realized that I wasn't struggling against his grip. He tightened it, seeing the flash of resentment in my eyes towards him.
"Come on, you were going to say something," he said, not letting my wrist go.
I stared at me and said, "I think it's…" My voice trailed off and my eyes darted around his head. I thought I saw some head or hair through the door's small window.
"What?"
"It's murder Wade!" I suddenly exploded, ripped my hand from his shocked grip and gave a kick to his side's general direction. He sidestepped me easily and I spun around, my slightly bloody knuckles curled into furious fists.
"Murder? So?" He questioned and frowned at me.
"You're so dense Wade!" I spat at him and turned away from him, but once again, Wade snatched his hand out and stopped me by grasping my wrists.
"Hey, now… let's be nice."
I wasn't sure where that came from but suddenly, I felt that it wasn't funny or 'hurt' Wade anymore. Something deeper within him and I almost shuddered. Then I realized I still felt his touch against my skin.
"Those people were family! They had done nothing wrong! And you go and kill them like they're nothing but target prac-"
"Brooke, that's what we're meant to do."
"What?!" I cried in outrage but immediately Wade pressed a finger to his lips. He dragged me to the wall, pinned me up with my arm held above me head and started to speak very quietly.
"That was practice; soon, Stryker will be wanting those mutants alive… I heard Zero and Vicky talking about it a few nights ago- Stryker's going to want to start experiments on the mutants we'll bag."
"Oh, so you're just going to let our kind become Stryker's lad rats?" I snarled at him.
"Better them than us, don't you think?" Wade leaned in closer and I saw a mischievous glint start to gleam in his eyes. I narrowed my own but didn't move an inch, something told me not to. But something else screamed against the whole idea of him touching me, of us in this enclosed space together.
"Yeah… well, it's like giving our own species up for torture. It's not right."
Wade shrugged and gave me a sly smile.
"But you still will talk to me, right?"
Desperate much? That was what I wanted to say to Wade so badly! I didn't like this sudden super smart and super secret Wade. I actually wanted the annoying, overly talkative Wade back. I wanted to tease him with ease but that slipped away when Logan left. Now it was just seriousness and tension; almost too much static tension between our friendship, the team and even Stryker's authority.
"Why should I talk to you Wade? I don't see you trying to stop this…" My voice trailed off as he leaned in even more.
"Oh, stop being so stubborn Brooke! Relax a little bit, okay? Stryker's going to let us live for a little more-"
"I don't want that old bastard leading my life! He can rot in hell for all I care! You're killing innocents, Wade! For his entertainment mainly! God knows what will happen to us when the government wants to get rid of us! Have you thought about that?"
I stopped my rant, my chest heaving up and down as I tried to regain my breath.
"Hmm… good point. But Brooke, this is what we're born to do…"
I started to shake my head rebelliously, my hair slowly becoming loose from my ponytail and I spoke:
"Don't say it, Wade. I'm not like Zero… I don't pull holes through people's heads or hearts. I don't toy with people… like-like Victor."
"Brooke," Wade whispered huskily and I looked up.
His lips were not even a centimeter away from mine. As soon as my eyes darted to them, he leaned in and pressed ours together. My old feelings for Wade were awake for a moment and I started to return it. I felt my heart start to speed up as our kiss became a bit more hot and aggressive. He pressed his chest closer to mine and I felt his hand start to slowly go up my thigh.
The man racing out of the house in a wild, frantic manner appeared in my mind. The cries and screams from inside the house, echoed in my ears and pounded in my head. Abruptly those feelings for Wade were washed away like footprints on the beach. There and then, I knew those feelings for Wade would always be like that.
No matter how many times I awoke them on purpose or by accident, they would be washed away by the images.
Then I noticed Wade was slowly pulling my left leg to around his waist. I immediately pulled away from him, taking deep breaths and trying to clear my head. I gave a shake of my head and when I felt my wrist was free, I shoved Wade away with all my might. Then slapped him so hard across the face, I knew it was going to leave a red mark for a while.
I caught him off guard (obviously he was in the moment) and he stumbled back, knocking into a punching bag. He almost fell but caught himself. He immediately looked up at me, his eyes surprised but not completely. He slowly stood up as I spoke slowly:
"I'm also not like you, Wade."
The pain was irrelevant in his eyes, if he had any at all, but I knew my own pain shown greatly in my eyes. I didn't bother to help him up or anything; I sprinted to the door and yanked it open with a giant whoosh. I had slightly confused, mostly angry tears well in my eyes as I darted to my room.
No one was in the halls. I suspected everyone was hiding in the kitchen/living room or in their own private bedrooms. I locked my door immediately, fell against it and started to cry silently. I mastered that art at a young age; I hated the hiccupping sounds I had as a young child and hated that they reminded me of why I was crying.
But the tears flowed all the same.
Some time after calming down, probably near midnight since it seemed plenty dark to be it, a light knock came on the door. I looked up from my book and glared at the door. I didn't want to move. There a small pause, mumbling and then another knock. I sighed and got up. I wish I had a little see-through hole to peek and see who was on the other side. I only could hope that Wade had the intelligence to stay away from me.
I opened it and was given a pleasant surprise. Chris gave me a weak and tired smile. A bruise was appearing on his jaw line. I frowned; an awkward silence came between us.
"Uh…are you, um, hungry? I stole again…"
He lifted up the same type of chips from before. I don't know where the laugh came from; I just started laughing. I got like when it was late. Chris smiled, his cheeks getting red and glanced around my room. A secret code for: can I come in?
"You can read minds, I think, Chris. I'm starving."
I closed the door as he walked in. I didn't decorate my room; the really only personalized thing I had was the stack of books on my desk. Beside training and missions, we were allowed to do pretty much whatever we wanted to do. I read; I enjoyed throwing myself away from the real world and diving into a new one for hours on end.
I didn't even know the title of the book I was reading at the moment.
He plopped on my bed and quietly opened the bag. I weaved around him and climbed near my pillow. I felt the tension but said nothing. I liked the silence around him. It was easy and sometimes not. It was interesting; many times with Chris, I've noticed that the air seemed to almost change with what he was feeling.
He offered the bag. I took one chip and munched on it.
"Are you…okay?"
Easy question; it made me suspicious.
"I'm fine…why the sudden concern?" I answered his question; it was fair to ask him one. But one thing I knew Chris couldn't do: lying. He got very red in the face, like he was already caught. He did that also when he was caught in a situation like this. The head in the window popped in my head immediately. I slightly rose an eyebrow and stared at him.
"I, uh… it's just that…"
I stared at him then laughed quietly. I patted his arm and pulled back; I said, "I'm fine, Chris. Just damn peachy."
He shook his head, looking down. He chewed another chip thoughtfully; his face was pulled into a cute frown and his mouth moved almost mechanically when he ate his chip. Why was I staring at him? I quickly started to count the little, almost bumps on the ceiling of my bedroom.
"I saw you with Wade in the training room. I also heard you crying."
That was a wake-up call. He turned this bright pink and slid a little away from me. I, at first, felt furious; I don't know why- I just did. That was an accident (or so I said) and it wasn't supposed to happen (or so I thought; I didn't fight back). Maybe I was lying to myself; I probably was. The crying part just made me embarrassed.
"Oh." That's all I could come up with.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled.
"I saw you, I think." He turned another shade darker.
"Why are you sorry?" I was genuinely curious.
"I-I…don't know."
I laughed quietly at the silly answer. Then said, "Well, Chris there are some things that happen for a reason. Others happen for no apparent reason at all. Some happen because unstable, hormonally imbalanced mercenaries do them. Take your pick."
He laughed; it probably wasn't too funny but it eased the uneasiness between us. It disappeared like it was never there at all. I smiled, probably looking like a complete idiot when I did it.
I hoped that Wade kissing me happened for a reason. I hoped this was the reason; it would end up that I would have some quiet time with Chris.