Rewritten Oct 12

Leon groaned a bit, turning into the warmth beside him. He felt achy all over and his chest and throat hurt. However, he was still oddly comfortable. He did not open his eyes but knew who was carefully holding him.

He smiled into Zack's chest, deciding that at least for now he was going to enjoy this. There was nothing wrong with accepting comfort from someone. He felt safe with Zack, and more complete than he had in a long time.

After talking to Riku the other morning, he had been able to admit to himself that he truly cared for the black-haired man. He wanted to be able to simply be with the man, to feel this all the time. He just could not.

A cough escaped him and Zack stirred. Without a word, the older man reached over and retrieved the water glass, handing it to Leon. Leon weakly grinned, taking it from him. "Thanks."

"No prob."

He sat up a little to sip on the water then returned it to Zack, who returned it to the nightstand. When he did, he hesitantly began moving his other arm away but Leon fell back onto it before he could. The pair lay there comfortably, not speaking for some time.

"This feels nice," Leon murmured.

"I could get used to it."

"Hmm…" Leon coughed lightly. There was no way to determine what the sable-haired man was thinking at the moment. Zack could not even see his face from the position he was in.

"Rinoa liked cuddling," He stated softly. "I never really understood the appeal until now."

"Cloud likes it, too. But don't tell him I told you that."

Leon snorted; "So long as you don't tell anyone about this."

Zack frowned, a weight settling in his chest. He forced a chuckled. "Wouldn't want it to get out that Stone-Cold likes to be held."

Silence fell between them again, thick with unspoken feelings.

"I'm sorry, Zack." Leon shifted some so that his body was not as close but his head remained in the older man's shoulder. "I didn't want to put you though this. You deserve someone who isn't…"

"Afraid?"

Leon tensed a bit but quickly relaxed. "I thought Rinoa would be the only one. She worked so hard to make me open up, to make me start letting people in. I loved her so much and I lost her… If I hadn't…"

On reflex, Zack began threading his fingers through Leon's shaggy locks of hair.

"It's an impossible choice. Even if I hadn't stopped to help those people, I still wouldn't have been able to live with myself. There are times when I think to myself that Rinoa would have hated me if she found out I hadn't helped them." The former SeeD coughed again. Zack was fairly certain it had little to do with the cold. "I know she would have. She was willing to give her life to save them and she did.

"I still get mad at her for going out there. I told her to stay in the safe house but I should have known she wouldn't. That wasn't the type of person she was."

"She sounds like a good woman," Zack whispered.

"She was amazing." Leon brought a hand up to rest on Zack's chest. "I never thought I would ever care for someone as much as I did her."

The First Class remained quiet. He had no idea where this was going. Leon was trying to say something but he was uncertain as to what.

Leon shook his head against Zack's chest. "I can't make that choice again. I have to choose now which one to keep: duty or love. I can't have both."

"Why not?" Zack finally broke, emotion coloring his words. "We have all faced that choice. ...And we will again. That's the life we live, and it's not going to change. Even if we don't stay together, it won't change our feelings. We would still have to make the same choice."

Leon raised his head and met Zack's eyes. He searched around for something and Zack knew the moment he found it. Steel colored eyes darkened with pain and he dropped his head back down. "I'm sorry… I just can't…"

Zack bit his lip but his voice was steady. "I understand. I can't make you love me."

The other man's fist tightened against Zack's chest. "That isn't right."

"What isn't?"

"That I don't love you."

They remained how they were for a full minute before Zack could not stand it anymore. In what he hoped was not an aggressive movement, he removed himself from the bed. He picked up the nearly empty glass and went for the door. "I'm getting you some juice or something."

He did not wait for a reply.

Downstairs, Sora and Riku looked at him from the kitchen table. Cloud had disappeared. The teens exchanged glances, but waited for Zack to speak. It was obvious that they had a good idea what was going on.

"Do you have any juice around here?" Zack asked as he opened the fridge. He pulled out the container and retrieved a fresh glass. "Did you find Pacifica?"

"Yeah," answered Sora, blue eyes filled with concern.

"And...?"

"And we're going out tomorrow. Or tonight… what time is it any way?" He searched for a clock.

"Good." Zack replaced the juice to the fridge. "I should have stuck with women. They're less difficult than the men I'm attracted to."

"What happened?" Riku questioned slowly.

Zack shrugged. "He can't deal with it and I'm not going to force him into something he doesn't want."

"But," Sora stuttered; "I really thought he loved you."

Zack smiled defeatedly. "He does and that's the problem."

Riku sighed. "I really wish we could do more."

"Forget it." The older man grabbed the glass and headed for the stairs. "I haven't totally given up quite yet."

He grinned at the teens and returned up stairs.

Leon had turned on his side and was hacking up fluid into the washcloth Zack had used on him the night before. When it subsided, he fell back against the pillow and there were tears in his eyes. He did not look at Zack as the man approached the bed.

"Here." The raven-haired man held out the juice. When Leon gripped it, Zack took the soiled cloth and tossed it into the laundry basket then located the tissues. He brought the box over and dropped it on the bed. "Sounds like you're getting it out of your system."

"This sucks." Leon croaked out, finishing the juice and setting the empty glass on the stand.

"Tell me about it."

Leon closed his teary eyes and took several long breaths. "Zack, I-"

"Don't want to hear it right now." The First Class folded his arms. "While you're sick is not the best time for a serious heart-to-heart."

Those grey eyes opened into slits to regard him. "I suppose not."

"Get some more sleep." Zack instructed. "I'm sure Aerith will be showing up sometime this morning to work on you."

"Probably;" The eyes slid shut again. "Thank you, Zack."

There were so many things that statement could apply to. Zack was not about to try to decipher it. He made a soft noise in the back of his throat and once he knew Leon was again sleeping, left the room.

--0—0—

When Leon opened his eyes again, they felt sticky and his vision was a bit blurry. Sensing another presence, he glanced to the side. He hazily saw a woman with dark hair and for a mere second, he thought it was Rinoa.

His heart lurched and he had began reaching out when his eyes cleared. Then he saw who it really was. His hand dropped and he blew out a shallow breath. This had to stop.

"Did you think I was someone else?" Aerith asked softly.

"For a second there, yeah;" He quietly admitted. "I've been thinking about her a lot lately."

"I'm not surprised." The woman leaned over to brush his bangs from his face. "You should be feeling much better now."

"Not really," He muttered, not realizing that she was referring to his physical health.

Aerith frowned, understanding what Leon meant. "This is a choice only you can make, Leon. You need to decide whether you want to let Squall live or leave him to die. Either way, there will be pain. You have the choice of how much and for how long."

Leon nodded numbly, actually understanding what she meant.

"Now," She continued brightly. "I think one more dose of that miracle broth of Sora's mothers and you should be able to at least get out of bed by the afternoon."

"Good." Leon sat up and Aerith automatically repositioned his pillows to keep him upright. "Thank you."

She smiled and cupped his face affectionately before moving away. At the door, she paused. "Oh! Was there anything specific that needed to be done today? Zack and Riku are running things in your absence."

"Nothing that they wouldn't already know of."

"All right;" She left the room.

Leon sighed with a cough. Leaning his head back, he thought over Zack's words from the night before. Though some of the conversation was hazy, he remembered the majority of it. Zack had loved Cloud and had been pained that Cloud had emotionally died with him. He truly was happy knowing that the blonde had moved on and began loving again.

Rinoa would want the same thing for him. He knew this in his heart and he realized that he had been using her as an excuse. He was the one afraid to move forward, to open his heart again. He did not want to risk going through the pain of loss again.

Only he could not deny how much he enjoyed Zack's company or how wonderful it felt knowing that the man would be there whenever he wanted him to be. He even found comfort in the knowledge that Zack would likely remain even during those times he was being a stoic bitch. He wanted that attention, that devotion.

In addition, he hated seeing the raven-haired man anything but his vibrant self. Every time he saw that concerned looked on his face, his heart twisted and he simply wanted to take the man in his arms and promise him anything that would make him happy. He did not want to be away from him.

And weren't all of those things worth the potential risk?

There was a single tap on the door before Sora ducked in, large mug in his hand. He did not bother shutting the door behind him. "Hey, Leon; You look a whole lot better."

Leon shrugged, still somewhat lost in his thoughts. With Sora's added presence, his mind went back to only a few months ago. When he had started forming a more physical relationship with the young man, he had accepted that he felt for him and that had not scared him nearly as much as it did with Zack.

He had quickly realized that his feelings for Sora were not as they seemed…. With Zack, however, there was no doubt. Somehow he knew that his heart was ready to love again and that was mostly to do with Sora. Maybe he could help Leon's mind realize this, too.

Sora bit his lip. He really hoped that Leon figured things out soon. He set the mug down on the nightstand and turned to leave.

"Hey, Sora?"

He stopped. "Yeah?"

"Sit for a minute."

--0—0—

"I don't know how you people do this day after day." Zack straightened his back with a groan. "I'm freakin' too old for this."

"You can't be any older than me." Kenshin smiled.

"Well maybe not physically." The SOLDIER muttered, reaching for another strip of molding.

"That depends on how you track it." The shorter redhead agreed in an odd tone; "Looks like this piece is going to be too long."

"Yeah; I'm noticing that." Zack blew out a breath. "I've officially decided I hate this as much as Spiky hates painting."

Kenshin chuckled. "I can do this on my own, go find something else."

"Naw." Zack rubbed the back of his neck. "I'd just get in the way anywhere else and I kinda don't want to work alone."

The other man gave him a sidelong look. After a moment, he spoke quietly. "It isn't my business, that I know, but from the little bit I've picked up on, you're doing the right thing with Leon. He has to make the decision of what he wants and while everyone is giving him the space to do so, none of you are letting him not make that decision."

Zack turned to look at him. The scarred man, while somewhat quiet, had proven to be quite intelligent and very wise. Zack had overheard Kenshin dispensing advice as well as words of encouragement several times and it was always sound.

He gave him a tight grin. "Thanks, Kenshin."

The other nodded.

"Hope I'm not ruining a moment." Cloud's amused voice came from the doorway.

"You are always killing the mood, Spike."

"Is that the trim Riku picked?" The blonde frowned.

"Yeah, why…? Don't like it?"

Cloud shrugged though that odd look did not leave his face. "If it's what he wants."

Kenshin laughed. "You sound exactly like I do when Kaoru gets on one of her decorating rants. Welcome to being married."

The blonde's face twisted into an awkward smile. He held out two scraps of paper to Zack. "Here."

"What's this?" The raven-haired man took them. They turned out to be paint swatches. "Oh, finally; what rooms are these for?"

"Just the kitchen," Cloud pointed to the pale yellow one. "This is the main color and the darker one is to accent the wall with the sink and all that."

"Riku pick these out also?" Kenshin stood and took the scraps.

"It's his kitchen. I'm liable to burn the place down if I so much as look at the stove." Cloud folded his arms. "I get the study, den and hall. He's doing the kitchen, bathroom and front room."

"Sharing the bedroom?" Zack smirked.

"Absolutely."

"Do you want to get started on this?" Kenshin asked. "I can mix the colors up."

"Sure. We can handle painting." Zack grinned at Cloud's sour look. "We'll start after lunch."

"You just want to check on Leon." The blonde snorted.

"And your point is?" Zack stood and headed for the door. "Come on, Spiky. I'm buying."

The walk across town was quiet but comfortably so. When they reached the marketplace, they spotted Sora sitting in the noodle shop with a blonde man. Zack glanced over, one black eyebrow raised in inquiry.

Cloud narrowed his eyes a bit. "I think that's the new guy."

"Leon's friend?"

"Yeah." The blonde confirmed. "Want to meet him?"

"Have you?"

"No."

"Sure." Zack shrugged. "Ramen sounds good."

They entered the small shop, which was rather full at this time of day. Sora immediately saw them and called them over. They picked their way through the seated crowd as Sora stood and swiped a fourth chair from a nearby table.

"Hey." Sora greeted brightly. "You guys haven't met Zell yet, have you?"

"Nope," Zack stated easily though there was a subtle tightness to his expression that Cloud figured only he noticed.

"Well, this is Zell." The teen motioned to the blonde man sitting casually across from him. His hair was short with an up shooting of bangs in the front and there was a rather elaborate tattoo along his left eye. The man had an easy smile on his face.

Sora shifted his hand toward the other two. "This is Zack and Cloud."

Zell grinned almost as easily as Zack normally did. He stood and shook Zack's hand, giving him a speculative look. "Sora doesn't know how to shut up about you."

"Hey! You asked!"

"Sora likes to talk." Zack smirked. "Never thought I'd met someone worse than me but here he is."

Zell released his hand with a faint shrug. "He's a cool kid."

"I'm still here, ya know!"

"Quiet, Sora." Zack patted Sora's arm. "The big boys are talking now."

The seventeen-year-old scowled at Zack then stood up. "I'm refilling my drink. What do you two want to eat?"

"I'll come with you." Cloud offered, turning to follow the boy.

Zack glanced over his shoulder at the two's retreating forms, a slightly nervous feeling coming to him. He sat in one of the chairs, resting his elbow on the back so that he faced the other. "So what terrible things has the kid said about me?"

"The kid seems to worship you." Zell chuckled. "Almost as much as he does Squall." The blonde frowned a bit. "Or Leon now. I am not going to get used to that."

"So call him by his real name." Zack shrugged. "It'll be good for him."

Zell studied him for a moment. He smiled broadly and popped a small dumpling in his mouth. "Squall is a hard person to love."

"I've noticed," The ex-SOLDIER commented dryly. "So he's always been removed, huh?"

"Yeah, though from what Sora's said his worse now than he ever was. Squall's always kept himself a safe distance from people." Zell took a drink from his soda. "He once said that everyone goes away in the end so why get close in the first place. He got a whole lot better after the whole Ultimicea thing."

Zack traced the table top. "Until he lost Rinoa."

"Yeah, so I hear." Zell set his glass down. "Rinoa was a great girl and she changed Squall a lot. She taught him to be open and to not fear what might happen. That life was empty without the people who love you."

The blonde man watched Zack carefully. "If you really care for Squall, don't let up on him."

Zack met his eyes easily. "Oh, I never give up."

"Neither did Rinoa." The SeeD snickered. "Even when she was with the jerk, she didn't give up on Squall."

"What jerk?" Sora asked, returning with Cloud and a tray of food. He settled into his seat as Cloud rounded the table to the only empty chair. Cloud handed over a bowl of beef ramen to Zack.

"Seifer."

"Oh." Sora sipped on his drink. "You know, I think it has something to do with the name. There was a Seifer on Twilight Town who was a total jerk. He liked to bully everyone but was really pathetic. He had these two idiots that followed him everywhere."

"So did ours." Zell laughed.

"I think Leon's gonna be really happy to see you, Zell." Sora announced, breaking up the brief pause in conversation. "A lot of his problem is that he thinks he's the only one who made it off your world. Once he sees there are others, a lot of his guilt will go away."

Zack lifted his glass in a mock salute. "Here's hoping, at least."

Zell laughed. "I like you, Zack. I can see why Squall would, too."

"Everyone likes Zack," Cloud muttered, bringing a small mess of noodles to his mouth.

"It's all part of my charm, Spiky."

Zell bit into another dumpling, glancing between them. He caught Sora's eye. "You're right about these two."

Sora grinned widely. "I told you I was a good judge of character."

"What did he say about us?" Zack demanded.

Zell finished his dumpling and took another drink. "You know what this world needs? Hot dogs."

Zack scrunched up his face, chopsticks half-way to his mouth. "Hot dogs?"

"Yeah, you know, they're like sausages only a lot smaller and way better," Zell explained then suddenly gaped. "You've seriously have never heard of them?"

Both Zack and Cloud shook their heads.

"Damn." The tattooed one lightly cursed. "We have got to introduce these people to those, Sora."

"Hey, we should go talk to Scrooge and if we can make them, we could open a hot dog stand!" Sora spoke animatedly. "That would be awesome!"

"Yeah." Zell agreed. "That would be cool."

Zack and Cloud exchanged looks but said nothing. They continued eating as Sora and Zell ran through elaborate ideas for opening their newly decided business venture. Neither really cared about what they were rambling on about.

The older of the two found his thoughts wandering to how Leon was doing. He had seemed much better this morning when he left him and he knew Aerith would have something that would speed up his recovery even further. Knowing Leon, he was probably already trying to get up and leave.

Zack blinked when he realized he had been asked a question. "Huh?"

Sora laughed once. "I said I was going to go visit Leon. Do you want to come with?"

"Sure." The raven-haired man pushed his bowl away. "Spiky and I are going to start painting his and Riku's house this afternoon."

"Really?" The teen looked at Cloud. "Great. Riku's gonna be thrilled."

"Yeah, he's starting to get anxious." The blonde gave a small smile. "I'm beginning to think he really wants to marry me."

Sora shook his head with an amused expression. He stood and addressed the other blonde. "Reno has some papers for you at Tifa's bar. Do you remember where that is?"

"Uh… I think so."

"I'll run him down there." Cloud finished off his water and stood also. "We can meet up in an hour at the house."

"Sounds good." Zack nodded.

The spiky-haired swordsman stood also and looked at the brunette. "If you think he's up to it, I suggest you start introducing the idea of Zell being here to Leon. The sooner we get that dealt with, the better I'm going to feel."

"Yeah, I'd like to see him." Zell agreed.

"Okay," Sora bit his lip. He had no idea how he was going to go about it but they really did need to tell Leon about Zell. He began to leave the table, followed by Zack. "So met up in an hour?"

"Yes."

"All right."