I bring the blade down to my hand, feel the cool metal biting into my skin, and open a cut across the palm. I hiss in pain as the sting spreads, and blood seeps across my entire palm, pooling in the centre. It starts dripping over the edge, so I hold my hand out and the blood falls in a trickle onto the overturned soil in front of the headstone, turning it a dark brown, almost black.
"I'll always be here, Grace," I whisper. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what happens. I shouldn't even have to be here. I should be watching you grow up, not kneeling at your grave. I'm so sorry, Gracie. I never meant for any of this to happen, ever. I promised you that I wouldn't let anyone hurt you, but I was the one that did this. I caused all of this, and I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, and it breaks my heart every time I think of you. You'll always be with me, Gracie, and nobody else is going to hurt you now."
I wipe the blade on the grass and put it back in my coat and wrap my hand in a bandage and put my gloves back on. You can just see the bandages under the gloves, and I'm hoping Laura doesn't notice. I don't think she'd approve of what I did. I stand and adjust my hood, trying to hide my face.
"Goodbye Gracie," I whisper. "Nobody's ever going to hurt you now."
I walk back through town quickly, trying to get out of sight as soon as I can. It's too dangerous for me to be out here for too long. I could be seen by someone, and I could get reported. Mum might even get questioned over it if I'm seen. I walk a bit quicker, putting the thought out of my mind as I rush, well, as much as I can, back through the streets. I hope I'm not drawing any attention to myself, and as my house looms in front of me I smile. I've managed to get back a lot faster than it took me to get to the cemetery, but I wasn't held up this time.
As I walk through the door I can hear humming, and I know instantly that it's coming from Mum. She always used to hum, and occasionally sing, when we were around the house. 'We', the sobering thought that makes my small smile fade. Mum stops when she must hear my footsteps, and comes out from the kitchen.
"How was it?" Her hair's tied up and she's changed out of the smart clothes she was wearing before and into jeans and a shirt like she always used to wear.
"Hard," I tell her, shrugging off my coat and laying it over one of the chairs around the dining room table.
"You want to talk about it?" She takes a couple of steps forward and opens her arms as tears well in my eyes, threatening to spill. She wraps her arms around me tightly, and doesn't let me go until I pull away.
"What happened after I left?" I whisper.
"They tried to find you. Your father told them you ran into the bush and they went after you. They found all of them dead or almost dead a few days later." She's looking at me almost accusatorily, but her eyes soften as I look down. "You didn't mean to, I know. But Uncle Markus was one of the officers that went after you. He thought he could talk you into coming back."
"I know; he tried to talk me around. What happened to him?" I'm worried now. I've already killed my sister; I don't want to be held accountable for my uncle as well.
"He came out alive," she reassures me. "Carol doesn't think much of you now, but she's thankful she's alive."
"How is he?" I ask. I didn't want to kill him, and I tried my hardest not to, but I couldn't control it then.
"He has anxiety now, and he went a bit crazy there for a while, but he's a bit better now. He couldn't remember exactly what happened, but he knew it was you." Her voice grows soft at the end, and her head has dropped a little, but snaps up as we both hear tyres on the gravel outside. She steals over to the window and peers through the blinds. "I don't suppose you can make a quick getaway, can you?" she asks as the engine cuts out and a car door opens.
"Mum, who is it?" I ask, backing away from the door a little.
"Carol's come over. I don't know why she's here, but you should probably get out of here." She sounds worried, and I think I should go, but maybe this is something else I need to do.
It's too late to say anything by the time I open my mouth, because a sharp knock on the door jolts me, and I hear my aunt's voice for the first time in ages.
"Sarah, are you home?" she calls, and I can hear the slight English lilt to her smooth voice. Mum doesn't say anything, so Carol knocks on the door again. "Sarah, I know you're in there; let me in."
"Let her in," I whisper, praying that nothing bad happens between us.
Mum slowly walks over to the door and rests her hand on the knob. When she twists it open I suck in a breath and instinctively tense. Unfortunately for me, the first thing my aunt lays eyes on is me, standing forlornly in the living room.
"You have got to be kidding me, Sarah!" she almost yells. "How long have you been keeping her here?"
"Carol, this isn't what you think," she protests, trying to keep her away from me, to no avail. She marches towards me and holds me against the wall. She's only just got her fingers on my shirt, and I take a deep breath and try to relax.
"You nearly killed my husband, and you murdered your own sister," she hisses. "Why the hell are you back here? Are there a few more lives you haven't ruined yet?"
"Do you honestly think she murdered her?" Mum says. "You saw how much she loved her, and how close she was to Markus."
I know she's trying the calming technique, but it isn't working. It's time to do things my way.
"If you don't let go of me," I warn, "your name's going to end up on that list."
She almost jumps away from me, and Mum looks shocked.
"Darcy!" she exclaims.
"Oh, I wasn't going to hurt her," I say, waving it off. "Well, not deliberately, anyway." I smirk, and Carol glares at me.
"The cops are going to hear about this," she says, and makes for the door, but I'm faster, and beat her to it, locking the door.
"I can't let you leave," I say, trying as hard as I can to send Laura a mental message. I've never tried to get a telepath to hear me, and I'm hoping that it'll actually work.
"Ooh, you're in trouble now, Darcy," Carol sneers. "Murder, attempted murder, and now holding me hostage? You're going down."
I hear hurried footsteps outside and reach behind myself and unlock the door and move as Laura opens the door and steps inside, putting a hand on my shoulder as she shuts the door. Carol's eyes go wide as she sees her, and I glance up at her.
"You can wipe memories, can't you?" I ask quietly, ignoring Mum's look of horror. If we don't do anything, Carol will go to the police, and it'll ruin Mum's life, and I'll never forgive myself.
"Of course," she says, almost like I underestimate her. "Your aunt, I take it?"
I nod. "She can't remember I was here."
"Just give me a minute," she says, and takes an almost hesitant step towards her. Carol doesn't move, and it just makes it that much easier for Laura to grab her wrist and she freezes. Carol's eyes go out of focus as Laura looks into her eyes intensely. Before I can ask her exactly what she's done, she lets go of Carol, who walks straight out the door, expressionless. She looks like she's in a trance, and I hear her car starting a moment later.
"Laura, what did you do?" I ask slowly.
"Don't worry," she says, shaking her head. "She won't remember you were here. She'll wake up in bed and think she's been asleep all day. She won't even remember coming here."
"And you didn't do anything else?" Mum asks. I don't blame her for being worried; Laura did just erase part of her sister's memory.
"No, ma'am," Laura says, rapidly shaking her head. "I only did what I had to do to protect you and your daughter."
"Laura, I just need a minute," I murmur, grabbing her elbow. "Can you wait outside for a bit?"
"Sure, kid, take as long as you need."
"Thanks," I mutter as she leaves, brushing past me.
"Wiped her memories?" Mum exclaims. "She might hate you, but she is my sister!"
"Mum, she'll be fine," I say, going over to her. "Laura knows what she's doing. She wouldn't have tried if it could have gone wrong."
"Well, when you put it that way…"
"Just don't worry about it. Don't mention that I was here, and everything will be fine." I grab her shoulders and squeeze, just like she used to do when I was worried about anything. "I have to go, Mum. I have to go back."
"It's so lonely here," she says softly, and I can see tears brimming in her eyes. "It's so lonely here without you and Gracie."
"Mum, please, don't cry," I beg her. "Don't cry over me. I don't deserve it after everything I've done; all the people I've hurt."
"Darcy, I know you've got to go back, but take whatever you want with you. I didn't touch anything in your room, or Grace's for that matter. It was just too hard for me." She's shaking her head, and I put my hands on her shoulders and pull her into a hug.
"I'm so sorry, for everything I've done," I sob. "I never wanted to hurt anyone, and now I've gone and fucked everything up."
She holds me tighter, and kisses my hair. "I'll always love you, Darcy, no matter how many times it goes wrong, I'll never stop loving you. Now go upstairs and get the stuff you want. I know you have to leave." Her voice is soft, and laced with pain that I can't help but feel.
"I just want to start again, Mum. You'll look after it, I know you will." My voices fades to a whisper at the end.
"You're sure, Darc? You don't need anything?"
I shake my head as my only response.
"I think I've done it," I whisper. "I think I might have done it."
"Then you go back there and show them who you really are. Don't hide it away anymore." She pulls me in close and rests her head on top of mine. "I love you Darcy, and I will never stop."
"I love you too, Mum," I whisper, choking back a sob.
"I know you're probably never coming back, sweetie," she says softly, her voice soothing and calm. "I know that. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine back here. Just look after yourself and don't get hurt."
"I'm safe there. They'll look after me," I say, my voice still shaky, but a little stronger now.
"Then let them help you," she says, pushing me away slightly to look at me. "You never let anyone help you. Let them in."
"I will, Mum," I insist. "Why do you think I came back?" She looks a little hurt after that, but it's true.
"I knew you wouldn't come back unless you had to," she whispers. "And I know you're not coming back again."
"Mum, no," I start.
"Darcy, you have to go," she whispers shakily. She pulls me in tight, kissing my hair. "You have to go now."
I hug her back, tears threatening to spring through my lashes, but I blink them back, refusing to cry. "I love you," I whisper.
"I love you, too," Mum whispers back, letting me go.
As I leave, I turn back only for a second, just long enough to see the tear slip down her cheek before I ease out the door to find Laura standing only a few steps away on the footpath.
"Don't try and tell me you didn't hear any of that," I sigh. "I know you did."
"I'm sorry, but I just wanted to make sure you weren't making any more problems for yourself," she says, putting her arm around my shoulders. "You're ready to go?"
"Yeah," I murmur. "I can't stay here. Not anymore."
Laura leads me back to the jet, and doesn't say anything as I do up my harness. I notice the eerie silence when I'm done, and steal a glance over at Laura's seat. She looks deep in concentration, and then she glances at me.
"I think you've done it," she says softly, reassuringly. "Come on now, let's get in the air and back to the school."
"Green switch again?" I ask, barely more than a mumble.
"Yeah, thanks," she says, turning to her controls, her hands moving so fast I can barely keep up. "OK, go now."
I flip the switch in front of me and feel the rumble underneath us as the engines roar to life. It's comforting, somehow, to know I'm going back to a place where I know I'm going to be looked after, and that I'm going back different, though I don't even know how.
"Darcy, we're back."
My eyes snap open at the sound drifting through my dreams, the sound that shouldn't be at home in my dreams.
"Darcy, it's OK, it's just me, it's alright," Laura murmurs, her hand on my arm warm even through my sleeve.
"Don't worry about it, I'm always a bit jumpy," I mumble, unclipping my harness. I stand and stretch my tired, numb limbs, but my tired, numb mind, I can do nothing about.
She purses her lips, looking unconvinced. "It's almost midnight, you'd better have a shower and get to bed." She pats my shoulder and I leave, winding my way through the staircases and passages, first taking pyjamas from my room then heading straight for the bathroom. The steam only makes me feel numb and heavy, and there's this little knot in my stomach that I can't shake.
Collapsing into bed, my blankets pulled tight around me, it almost feels like somebody has their arms wrapped around me, like somebody actually gives a damn. The knot's still there, making me feel uncomfortable and edgy, but sleep will fix it.