A/N: If anyone is interested, I did rework chapter 13 slightly. Nothing has changed, but I did add a few extra lines, which I hope improve the flow of the chapter, since that was what I was having trouble with. You're welcome to go back and read, but it is not necessary since there is no new information given, really. Also, I'd just like to thank everyone for reading and a special thank you to those who take the time to review. It's always appreciated. Thank you.

Chapter 14

Cancun

The shutting of the door caused Kristin to stir. She saw Tim, Ben, and Lucas standing before her, looking somewhat sheepish.

"Sorry," Lucas whispered. "We were trying to be quiet."

Kristin waved a hand. "It's fine; I'm awake, so you don't need to whisper."

"Please don't be angry with us, Doc," Tim added. He turned and glared at Ben. "I tried to get him to come back hours ago, but he insisted on seeing the Xcaret night show."

"I thought it would be an educational experience for Lucas," Ben countered, trying to sound innocent.

"More like you were hoping to see scantily-clad, dancing women," Lucas replied. "Little did he know it was traditional Mayan dance."

Normally, Kristin might have felt the need for a lecture, but she really did not care about any of this at the moment. "Well, at least you're back now. It'll be you three who are tired in the morning, not me."

Tim, Lucas, and Ben all exchanged questioning looks.

Finally Ben expressed his confusion. "OK, who are you and what have you done with the real Kristin?"

Kristin sighed. "Really, Mr. Krieg, it's late. I have a splitting headache, and I really don't have the energy to lecture you. You and Mr. O'Neill are adults; I am not going to treat you as though you weren't." She then turned to Lucas, "And you, you're old enough to make the decision to stay up until anytime you'd like. You've always met all your responsibilities on seaQuest, and I don't see why one late night out would change anything. But, I do suggest you get some rest. Mind you, it's only a suggestion, not an order. Now, if you'll excuse me…" She pushed past the three of them and headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Her three companions watched her go, but Ben still felt something wasn't right. No matter how tired she was, the doctor always managed to say what was on her mind, and she never missed an opportunity to lecture him, that was certain.

Lucas grabbed a pair of sweatpants and T-shirt from his bag. "Mind if I use your bathroom to change?" he asked Tim. "I'm going to be a responsible person and get some rest."

Tim smiled. "Go right ahead. And, I think so too. What about you, Ben?"

But, Ben didn't hear either of them as he was still wondering what was going on with their chief medical officer.

"Ben?" Tim said again.

"What?" Ben finally asked.

"I asked if you were going to turn in."

"Oh…uh, not yet. I wanted to ask the doctor something. I'll be in soon. Goodnight."

Tim shrugged his shoulders and walked past Lucas, who had just come out of the bathroom. "Goodnight," he called.

Lucas went to his own bed and lay down, ready for sleep. He didn't even hear Kristin come out of the bathroom.

When Kristin reentered the room, she was relieved to see the others had turned in. She could still feel tears threatening to fall, and she didn't feel like giving any explanations at the moment. And, she was relieved to find that no one questioned her hasty retreat. But, she didn't see Ben sitting in the chair near the window since Lucas had turned the lights off. Except for one small lamp lit above her bed, the room was dark.

So, when Ben did finally speak, he startled her and caused her to jump and let out a small cry. "It's not like you to pass up an opportunity to give me a lecture."

"Oh, Mr. Krieg, you scared me," Kristin whispered, instinctively looking to Lucas' bed to see if her cry had woken him.

"Sorry," Ben replied, taking it upon himself to turn on the lamp next to the chair he was sitting in. Then, he added, "Don't worry, he's out like a light."

Kristin nodded. "Well, like I already told you, I just don't see the point. We are on shore leave, are we not?"

"Yes, but the admiral has already made it clear this isn't exactly for rest and relaxation. There's something going on with you," he observed.

Kristin nervously wrung her hands together. "Am I that transparent?"

Ben shrugged. "Actually, no; you're hiding it well. Tim and Lucas didn't seem concerned. It's just that after living with you for the past few months, I know how you work. This is definitely out of character for you."

Kristin sighed and went to sit in the chair opposite Ben. "Well…while you three went out, I didn't exactly stay in the room the whole time," she admitted quietly, still fumbling with her hands and refusing to look at Ben as she spoke.

"I knew it, Ben replied satisfactorily as he snapped his fingers. "You went to see Mary, didn't you? What did she say? Did you find out who the real killer was?"

She shook her head. "No, I didn't go see Mary; I went to see the captain."

"Oh…well, what's wrong with that?"

"Well, as you might guess, he's obviously discouraged, considering the UEO's decision."

Ben nodded. "Yeah, I know…so you went to cheer him up?"

"I tried," she reiterated, "but it really didn't work." Speaking of it brought back the painful memory, and although she tried to control it, a quiet sob escaped her throat.

"Doc?"

Kristin swallowed hard and cleared her throat. "Sorry," she muttered.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Ben assured her. "But I do wish you'd tell me what's wrong."

She took a deep breath. Should she risk telling Ben about their relationship? Certainly, the crew knew she and the captain were close, but did they know how close? Did they know there as a blossoming romance between the boat's CMO and her captain? Had it been Katie or another woman from the crew, Kristin most likely would not hesitate, but Ben? Well, she was certainly learning he was more sensitive than anyone gave him credit for. And, at the moment, he was as good enough a confidante as any. And, she was in desperate need of pouring her heart out to someone. "What I'm about to tell you stays between us for the moment, alright?"

"I swear it, Doc," Ben replied as sincerely as he could. "Remember, I promised to take care of you." He reached over and took her hand in his. "Look, I know I tend to court trouble, but I really can be a good guy when I want to be."

"I know it," Kristin replied. She took another deep breath. "I…I'm not sure where to start…" she admitted.

Ben gave her hand a squeeze. "How about the beginning?"

So, Kristin told him about her feelings for Nathan and how it seemed as though his feeling for her were mutual. "Really, if not for this murder investigation, I'm not sure if either of us would have acted on our feelings so soon. But, we did, and well, after hearing what the admiral had to say, he was the only thing I could think about. I had to go see him."

"And there's nothing wrong with that," Ben assured her. "Is that why you're upset? About the UEO's decision?"

She shook her head. "Well, I'm not exactly ecstatic about it, but that's not why I'm crying." She went on to tell him about what happened between her and Nathan. "I just don't know why he's trying to push me away, why he'd push Lucas away. And, what the hell am I going to tell Lucas?" she asked, her voice trembling. She paused for a few moments to compose herself, then spoke again, this time, sounding calmer, "It seems like he's already given up, and I think he wishes we would too."

Ben stood and brought his chair closer to hers so he could put an arm around her. "Do you think we should?"

"Do I think so?" Kristin questioned. "No, not at all. I know it's a long-shot, but I've seen cases with less evidence, and the defendants have walked free, even those in other countries." She lowered her voice and added, "I sat through Rubin Zellar's trial."

Ben tightened his grip around her. "Doc, I am so sorry," Ben soothed. "I'm sure, with time, the captain will change his mind."

Kristin nodded softly and laid her head on his shoulder, needing the comfort. "Perhaps, but really, it's not me I'm worried about. Oh, certainly, I'm sad now, I'm crying now, but I'm an adult. I'll get over it. There are plenty of fish in the sea, no pun intended." She sighed. "My concern is with Lucas. His own parents aren't exactly over-protective, you know…and he and Nathan have a special bond. I'm not sure I can give him that on my own. And, no matter how delicately I try to explain it, Lucas is going to feel…abandoned."

"Well," Ben replied thoughtfully, "maybe we shouldn't tell him yet. Let's see what happens in the next few days. Maybe we'll find the diary, maybe we'll get Mary to talk. Really, anything could happen."

Kristin reflected on his suggestion. "It might be a good idea," she admitted. "I just don't like the thought of lying to him. You know he appreciates when he's treated like an adult."

"It's only for a few days," Ben stated. "I don't like it either, but maybe we won't have to."

Kristin nodded, then laid her head on Ben's shoulder once again.

"You going to be OK?" Ben asked after a moment.

Kristin sighed. "Not yet, but I'm sure I'll get there. You've helped a lot."

"I really didn't do anything."

"You listened…and offered me your shoulder which I so desperately needed," she confirmed. "Thank you."

Ben wrapped her in a hug. "You're welcome…anytime."

She nodded against his shoulder. "I suppose I should let you get some sleep."

"I can stay awake if you need me," he offered as he pulled away to look at her.

But, she shook her head. "If I'm going to be any good to our Mr. Collins in the morning, I'd better try to get some more sleep myself. I'll be fine."

"Well, if you need anything, don't hesitate to wake me up. You know where to find me."

"I will," she promised.

"Goodnight, Doc."

"Goodnight," she replied as Ben walked towards the adjoining door and closed it behind him.

Kristin turned off the lights and lay back down in bed, trying to get some sleep. Her chat with Ben had helped immensely, but she was still upset. She tossed and turned for several minutes, trying to find a comfortable position, but to no avail. One thing was weighing on her mind: the letters. She had wanted to read them, but she also knew the feelings conveyed would be bittersweet. But, her curiosity got the better of her, so she threw off the covers and flicked on the small lamp over her bed once again.

She glanced towards Lucas to be sure he was still asleep. Thankfully, he was, so she quietly went through her bag and retrieved the letters. Nathan had numbered them, so naturally, she chose the first one and tucked the others away. Then, she padded back to her bed and began reading.

My dearest Kristin,

I know we've only known one another a short time, but it seems much longer, doesn't it? In the few brief months we've worked together, we've shared so much with each other. I think you know more about me than I've shared with anyone in a long time, probably not since Carol. And, up until the moment you and I met, I didn't think I'd find anyone worthy of doing so. But, I was wrong.

And, in turn, I've learned so much about you as well. Oh, on the outside, you're tough, and you want the whole crew to know it. And, they do. But, I've learned you're more than that. You're kind and so loving. I see it in how you treat Lucas…even Ben. But, you hide this side of yourself away from others. Something brought it out in you. I'd like to think I had something to do with that. And, I'm glad I did.

Had there not been this investigation, I'm not sure I would have acted so quickly on these feelings, I admit. I'm your captain, you're my CMO. As you know, there are rules, regulations, as you would say 'military protocol'. And now, I'm chuckling softly because I know your feelings about the military, and I'm sure you'll be rolling your eyes when you read this. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if this would fall under fraternization. But, given the current circumstances, I really don't give a damn. The UEO will learn to get over it.

Kristin, in case I'm not explaining it very well, I need you to know I think I've fallen in love with you. I know the current situation puts a damper on any pursuit of romance at the moment, but I am sure you feel the same way about me…and I appreciate that. You seem to be so sure I'm innocent, and that means a lot to me. We've only known each other a few months, yet you're so positive I'm innocent. The fact you have so much faith in me already shows me you care.

I know it may be a while, but I'd like to show you I care about you as well. So, when the time comes, how would you like to start seeing one another on a romantic basis? Please say yes. I love you, my darling,

Nathan

By the time Kristin had finished the letter, she had tears flowing down her cheeks. She went and tucked it back away with the others and shut off the light. It was just as she suspected: lovely thoughts that would never be pursued. Nathan had love for her, she knew, and she felt the same. And, she knew Nathan didn't want to see her or anyone else get hurt, but was this any better? She sobbed quietly as she thought. But after a few moments, she thought she heard something else. She sat up and wiped her eyes and listened for a moment. Then, she heard it again, a soft sob that wasn't her own.

"Lucas?"

She received no answer, but heard a sniffle. She went over to his bed and sat down next to him. She forgot her own troubles and worries when she saw how upset he looked, how distraught, and it broke her heart. "Oh, Lucas, what's wrong?"

"I…I…the captain," he choked out softly.

Kristin wrapped her arms around him as she came to realization that Lucas had not been asleep when she was speaking with Ben. "How much did you hear?"

"Everything," he answered as he cried into her shoulder. "I can't believe…"

"I…I know," Kristin answered. "But, I don't think the captain wants us to go away; he's simply trying to protect us."

"But doesn't he know how much it hurts?" Lucas sobbed.

"Oh, sweetie," Kristin muttered, hugging him tighter. "I didn't want you to find out this way. I don't think it's Nathan's intention…I think he was just at a loss. He told me to tell you he loves you, and he always will. You know that."

Lucas nodded. "I do, but he has a funny way of showing it."

Kristin sighed. "Do you want to go back to seaQuest? Get away from all of this?"

"What are you going to do?" Lucas asked in a small voice.

"Well," Kristin replied thoughtfully, "I guess I'm still being hopeful. I'm hoping that if I stay, I'll be able to help Mr. Collins find some shred of evidence that will free Nathan…and then, everything will go back the way it was. Really, I won't be satisfied if I go back now, and Nathan is convicted. I'm staying the full two weeks, whether the captain wants to see me or not," she decided.

"Then, I am too," Lucas agreed.

She hugged him tighter still and rocked him gently. "You're sure?"

He nodded. "You're right; maybe there's something we can do. Do you think that if he's acquitted, the UEO will reinstate him?"

"I don't know," she admitted, "but I'm sure Admiral Noyce will pull some strings," she assured him.

"Doc?"

"Yes, Lucas?"

"I…I just want you to know that I think you and the captain are perfect for each other, and I've love to see you two together."

"Thank you," she replied. "That means a lot to hear you say that."

He nodded and gently pulled away from her. "I actually didn't want you to know I was awake. I'm sorry I disturbed you."

"Oh, Lucas, you don't have to apologize. I was just…well, you heard."

He nodded. "You're upset," he noted.

"I think we all are, but we'll get through it. Now, if you ever need to talk…"

"I know, Doc, I know. The same goes for you too."

She hugged him again. "Thank you, sweetheart, but I think we both need to get some sleep." She stood and helped him lie back. She then tucked him in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight."

"Night, Doc; I love you."

"I love you too," Kristin answered as she lay in her own bed. She took several deep breaths, but felt the sting of fresh tears threatening to fall yet again. She rolled over on her back, not wanting to succumb to the sadness. Plus, she hadn't wanted to upset Lucas all over again. But, then, she heard his slow rhythmic breathing. He was asleep.

She rolled on to her side again, trying to find a comfortable position. But, her thoughts drifted to Nathan and his letter. Unable to hold back, she finally allowed her tears to fall, burying her face in her pillow. This wasn't something that was going away overnight, and she couldn't pretend it was. But, to her surprise, she felt strong arms encircle her.

"Ssh," Lucas soothed, "it's OK, Doc. It's going to be OK."