Really, really sorry, had the day from hell and as a result this is really late :( It's still the 14th, but it's late, and I'm really sorry :( But the good news is that it's my last day of college tomorrow before Christmas, and I get to go home early so tomorrow's chapter should be much earlier than this one. Sorry again :( Thank you so much, Izzy, Amy, Lizzi and Hopelesslyhalfhearted for reviewing and being generally amazing, and to my little sister Julietta, who helped me get an 8 year old perspective on this one :) And I promise to update faster tomorrow if you all review!

Love Flossie xxx

Saturday 14th December 2019

Joycelin's Diary

-8.34am

Hmm, just after 8.30, is there any point going back to sleep? Parents won't be surfacing for at least another hour due to late night at office Christmas party last night and almost certainly bad overhanger things (or whatever it's called), and don't think Nana does mornings at the weekend, so must have whole apartment to self. Perfect. No, definitely no point going back to sleep when feel wide awake and can do whatever like for at least an hour. Where to start?

-8.36am

OK, decided. Off to find something by way of breakfast, then might dig out Playmobil Egyptian pyramid and recreate archaeological dig. Or check to see if either Jasper or Anouk are on Skype. Mummy and Daddy really need to be more inventive with log-on passwords- family account really is far too easy to hack into.

-8.40am

Coco pops or pancakes? Hmm, difficult decision. Think will have to go with the coco pops, less chance of setting off the smoke alarm and waking parents. And less mess.

-8.41am

Are coco pops and strawberry milkshake together too much sugar? Probably, don't think Mummy and Daddy would approve. Oh well.

-8.49am

Jasper, Anouk and co. all apparently too busy lying in to go on Skype, will settle for Plan A: Egyptian pyramid game instead. Must be great fun to be an archaeologist, think would probably be a bit like being an anthropologist, only with ancient artefacts and mummies and cool things like that instead of bones. Although surely archaeologists must find bones sometimes? What do they do if they find the fossilized remains of an Egyptian skeleton during an a dig at a site they thought just had vases and stuff in it? Not sure. Will ask Mummy when she wakes up.

-8.58am

Were there elephants in Ancient Egypt? Not sure, Miss Frazer didn't tell us that when she taught us about them in History. Oh well, in this version of Ancient Egypt, there definitely are elephants. Elephants are cute.

-9.12am

Ohhh, movement.

"Morning Mummy!" Still looks very tired, face ever-so-slightly grey. "Are you alright?"

"Hmm? Yes, darling, I'll be fine in a minute, I just need to get some water."

Why is it grown-ups always need at least 5 glasses of water the morning after they go out to a party? Thought it might have been a party thing, but when I went to Abby's party last month, I didn't feel the need to drink lots and lots of water the next day. Adults are very strange.

"Mummy? How was the party?"

"Oh, it was great, thanks. It was great; I think your granddad took some pictures, so we'll have to get hold of them and then I can show you just how hilarious your daddy's dancing is."

"I already know how hill… hill… hilarious Daddy's dancing is! When we went to Niall's 25th birthday party last year he had lots of red wine and ended up doing the Macarena with Niall's granddad, remember?" Think that might possibly have been one of the funniest things have seen in whole life, after Uncle Pieter's chimpanzee impression and the video of the grizzly bear falling out of the tree onto the trampoline. And the Gavin and Stacey Christmas Special, of course, but Mummy and Daddy don't know that Auntie Charlie let me watch that.

"Oh, this was much better than that, Josi, so much more entertaining. I just wish I'd videotaped it."

"What was he dancing to?"

"All I want for Christmas Is You."

"The normal one or the one with Justin Bieber?"

"The Justin Bieber one; he was mouthing along and trying to do the moonwalk at one point."

"Nice. Mummy?"

"Hmm?"

"You know archaeologists? What would they do if they were digging up a great big burial site looking for vases and coins and stuff like that, and they found the remains of a human skeleton?"

-11.04am

Don't understand why we have to get the over ground train instead of the underground, is much, much longer walk to Kensington Olympia station than High Street Kensington Tube Station. Plus tube stations are so much more exciting, and exactly how I imagine Gringotts in Harry Potter, except without the vaults, the goblins and the dragons. And horribly overcrowded.

"So, Daddy? Exactly how many people do we still need to buy Christmas presents for?" Am just a little bit worried that Christmas shopping will take so long that will be stuck in shopping centre all day, and won't have time to practise à la seconde turns before dance show this evening. Very worried about à la seconde turns, am scared will trip over own foot and fall flat on face in front of everyone, Daddy's video camera included.

"I don't think you really want to know the answer to that one, Josi. Pretty much everyone we know, and your Nana's got lots of people to buy for, too."

"So how long will it take?"

"Not sure, darling. It's going to be a good few hours, I'm afraid. But I promise to take you somewhere nice for lunch, OK?"

"…OK. But only if we can go to the sweet shop on the way home."

-12.57pm

Bored of wandering around department store looking at old lady candles for Nana to give to sister Margaret and potential Christmas presents for other grandparents now, really very dull. Must have bought enough presents for everyone we know by now; just need for Nana to take Mummy looking at clothes/shoes/something like that, so Daddy and I can escape off to choose something for Mummy. Probably some form of jewellery, in which case will need loan from Daddy to pay for it. Only have £7.68, R24 and fake £50 note in piggy bank, don't think is quite enough for jewellery.

-12.59pm

Grrr, what is taking them so long? Can't we have a lunch break at nice Vietnamese restaurant on ground floor of shopping mall now? Am starving.

-1.00pm

Ohhh, children's shoes. Think will go and try some on, might make time pass a bit quicker. And can see if they make heels like Mummy's in a children's size 11, am in great need of a pair in order to gain extra height. Am sick and tired of being short.

-1.14pm

Sadly no pairs of high heels, though nice pair of pink boots with butterfly on side. Might have to try them on again just to make sure they fit…

"This is a customer announcement, could Joycelin Alexander please make her way to the customer services desk at the front of the shop where her parents and grandmother are waiting for her, that's Joycelin Alexander to the customer services desk, where her parents are waiting for her."

Oops.

-3.42pm

Phew, finally on the train home. Christmas shopping a success, have got airplanes of WWII book for Daddy and pretty necklace for Mummy. Though am still trying to understand why Nana had to take so long looking at the old lady candles in Marks and Spencers. Or why she spent 10 whole minutes deciding which Christmas pudding to buy, when is not even going to be in the country for Christmas, will be with Mummy and Daddy and me in Cape Town at Auntie Sara and Uncle Pieter's, where food is not usually lacking. Very strange. And big waste of time.

"Right, Josi: so we're literally just going to run in and dump our shopping, you're going to grab your ballet bag and then we're off, OK? You have got everything ready, haven't you?"

"Ja, Nana and I sorted it all out last night."

"OK, you sure? Hairbrush? Hair pins? Ballet shoes? Spare pair of tights?"

"Yep, all sorted." Think Mummy is more nervous about Christmas dance show than I am, and all she has to do is do my hair, then sit back and watch in the audience with Daddy and Nana.

"And you've got a book to read backstage?"

"Yep, Harry Potter. But I've only got 3 chapters left of the chamber of Secrets, so I've borrowed one of yours and Daddy's medical journals just in case I finish it. That's OK, isn't it?"

-6.23pm

Getting a bit nervous now, blame ballet teacher Michelle for making me stand in wings and watch big scary advanced girls on pointe before going on. Not sure want to go onto huge great stage all by self, looks much bigger than in rehearsals. Have borrowed Mummy's dragonfly necklace as lucky mascot, but still very nervous. And a little bit worried that if Michelle sees it she might make me take it off.

-6.25pm

Oh uh, twinkly pointe music over, must be my turn. Scared. Will try and find Mummy and Daddy and Nana in audience when first go on, might feel better. Then again, Daddy will probably be pulling silly faces to 'reassure me', which last time just made me giggle. Think will ignore parents and just smile at video camera.

Right… arabesque…run and jump…chaine turn, 1, 2… arabesque and leap… prep, à la seconde turn 1, 2, 3, 4, pirouette… down to floor and stretch… Not actually that bad now have gotten started, take it back. Might risk glance in direction of parents' seats, know Mummy wants nice photograph to frame next to picture of Grandma Celin dancing in Cape Town theatre.

Oh. My. Gosh.

Take back what I said about Uncle Pieter's chimpanzee impression being one of the funniest things have ever seen in life. Nana's 'ballerina arms' in attempt to provide encouragement are even funnier. And best part is, think she's being perfectly serious, not even trying to make me smile for the camera. Which makes it all the more hilarious. If I end up falling out of this kick spin and landing in tangled heap on the floor, am so blaming her.

Hope that was OK :) Dancing had to come into it somewhere, I'm afraid, as I spend half my life doing it :P Sorry, reading it back it does seem a bit brief, but I was badly running out of time :( More in-depth one tomorrow, promise :) Haven't completely decided what it's going to be on yet, but I think Harry, Nikki and Josi are going ice skating with Leo's lot…