Everything either belongs to Joss or it should, no infringement is intended and no profit is to be made. When you get right down to it I'm not really worth suing anyway unless you want a share of an underpaid civil servants wages and it just wouldn't be worth the hassle trust me.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Hyperion Hotel – Alternate Earth AE2005-0098-A (Pathfinder Index Code) – November 2005
'I still think we should bust Xander out of jail' Faith opined, continuing to clean off her scythe in the lobby. Apart from a few standing watch for Harbingers they had all grabbed a few hours sleep as soon as the sun came back up and were now cleaning off their equipment after the previous nights festivities. 'Should have done this before it started to congeal' she muttered to herself.
'It's pretty gloopy to start with' Kennedy remarked as she did likewise with her own scythe. 'I usually get Stephen to do this, he really brings out the shine' she said. 'I'd think it was OCD but he's only fussy about cleaning weapons' she continued. 'Buffy you know some psych stuff right? Is there such a thing as selective Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?' she asked.
Buffy had already finished her scythe and was now inspecting "Mr Pointy" the trusty stake given to her by Kendra years before, she used it sparingly these days because it was probably due for retirement but it had never let her down yet. 'No that's just being anal' she replied.
'Okay I can buy that' Kennedy responded. 'He can be a pain the ass' she joked, causing Faith to break out laughing setting off a few other slayers into the bargain. 'Seriously though you might want to try the stuff he puts on stakes too' she advised Buffy, 'I think its Linseed Oil, brings out the grain and makes them shiny as well as giving them a stronger surface.'
'Linseed oil is what they put on cricket bats' Faith told her, 'that's probably where D'artagnon got the idea' she suggested then paused. 'How the hell do I know that?' she asked rhetorically, looking confused.
Buffy grinned. 'I think you've been spending too much time with Wesley' she observed.
'Did he make you watch those games between England and Australia that bored the crap out of me for months because Stephen always had them on satellite TV?' Kennedy suggested.
A look of realisation spread across Faith's face. 'Right, they were called the Ashes or some shit' she said. 'Wes and Spike kept hijacking the plasma screen at the Hyperion' she recalled, 'Our Hyperion I mean' she added redundantly.
'You'll like tea and scones next' Buffy told her.
'Good thing I'm Boston Irish' Faith replied, 'I've got a degree of natural resistance' she said, returning to her scythe.
Two Wesley's walked into the Lobby from the direction of the basement talking animatedly about shotguns. 'No I still think that double-ought buckshot is a better bet than flechette loads' one opined, 'how often is the greater range an issue?' he asked.
'I've had a few occasions when I would have wanted more reach' the other responded.
'Then just keep a few Brenneke slugs in your pocket' the first advised.
'Easier to miss' the other pointed out.
'Oh look, Wes found his soul mate' Buffy said loudly, causing both to stop their conversation and look at her.
'I thought I was your soul-mate Wes' Faith told her one, feigning to be upset.
'So not Illyria then?' Kennedy asked.
'Hard to be a soul-mate when you don't have a soul' Faith replied. 'Are you and your new best friend going to go on a play-date?' she asked her boyfriend with a grin. 'Remember to be home before it gets dark.'
'Illyria might not have a soul in the strictest sense of the world but at least she doesn't mock me' Wesley observed sadly.
'It keeps you grounded' Faith told him.
'So is that why you do it?' Buffy asked, intrigued.
'Nah, it's just funny yanking your watchers chain' Faith replied, 'don't tell me you don't do it to Giles and Stevey-Boy?' she asked Buffy and Kennedy.
'Slight difference, we're not sleeping with ours' Kennedy noted. 'Your Slayer/Watcher dynamic is a whole lot creepier than ours' she opined, Buffy nodding her wholehearted agreement.
'They're only issues if you make an issue out of them' Faith told them. 'Right lover?' she asked her Wesley.
'Sanity, stability and appropriate behaviour are overrated concepts anyway' Wesley agreed.
Kennedy looked to Buffy. 'Well I'm happier about Stephen's possible OCD now anyway' she said. 'How are your Watcher issues going?' she asked.
Buffy thought about that one. 'I'm still trying to get over him having sex with my mother on the hood of a police car to be honest' she said. 'That's a mental image that will stick with you better than Turok-Han blood sticks to a fleece top' she declared.
Two Wesley's, Kennedy, Faith and every other slayer in the room instantly stopped what they were doing and stared at Buffy. 'B, don't even think about not telling that story' Faith told her seriously.
Buffy smiled, well Giles did advise her to develop a better rapport with the team she thought and she didn't think Mom would mind. Dawn would never look at Giles the same way again though after the story spread though.
As for Dawn herself at this time she was out walking the neighbourhood with Connor and her own alternate-universe double, they were pretty much the only people around, there weren't even many cars on the move as people hunkered down at home. 'Losing Buffy so soon after losing Mom was the worst thing that happened in my life' she said. 'I can't imagine what it was like losing her a second time.'
The other Dawn looked at the ground as they continued walking. 'I was just numb for so long' she said quietly. 'I lost everyone, one after the other' she continued, before looking up. 'Xander, can you get Xander?' she asked.
'You mean bust him out of jail?' Dawn queried, flashing a look at Connor. 'We could couldn't we?' she asked him.
'Probably better check with your sister first but I can't see it being difficult' Connor replied. 'Willow could probably teleport him out and make everyone in the jail think he was still there' he suggested. 'Or we could do it without magic, blow a hole in the wall like in that cowboy film we watched with Clint Eastwood looking like Wesley.'
'Connor likes action movies' Dawn told her double. 'Horror films not so much' she added.
'Nobody does demons right in the movies or on TV' Connor stated. 'It's hard to suspend disbelief' he said, looking round and spotting a pile of dust nearby. He walked over, bent down, poked his finger into it and tasted it.
'That's gross Connor' Dawn told him with a grimace.
'Turok-Han' Connor replied. 'It's completely sterile' he told her. 'Tastes slightly different than the ones in our universe' he said, 'unless that's the air pollution throwing off my senses' he theorised.
The power seemed to be gradually coming back on as repairs were made to the electricity grid but the sound of distant sirens indicated that order had still not been fully restored elsewhere in the city. The sudden blackout the previous night had provided the diversion the First Evil had wanted with looting and a few small riots breaking out and keeping the authorities away from the Hyperion and now in the aftermath the LAPD was trying to put a lid on the situation while the Fire Department struggled to quench a myriad of small and occasionally not so small fires.
Of course with the police otherwise occupied with more pressing concerns some of the other less than law-abiding sections of the LA population were now taking advantage and a small distance further on the trio were confronted by a mugger who pulled a switchblade on them demanding their money.
Connor looked to Dawn for advice. 'Don't kill him' she said simply, before Connor easily disarmed the mugger in one smooth move and then effortlessly broke the mans arm before knocking him unconscious with a right cross which he pulled so as to only break the muggers jaw not his neck.
Dropping the knife down the nearest drain Connor then dragged the unconscious criminal to the side of the road while Dawn grinned and taking a Sharpie permanent marker from the handbag she was carrying she wrote "Mugger" on his forehead. 'Nice touch' the other Dawn told her approvingly. 'Your boyfriend is pretty useful to have around too even if he does taste vampire dust' she said.
'I'm still working on his rough edges but he's great in the sack too' Dawn replied, Connor going a bright shade of red in response. 'Want to see if we can find a diner that's open?' she asked. 'I'm buying, our money looks just like yours' she said, leading off. 'So is your Wesley with your Fred or was I imagining that?' she asked curiously.
'Sort of, it's not been a good couple of years for romance' the local Dawn told her.
'You should always find time for romance' Dawn declared.
Connor laughed. 'She schedules at least an hour of spontaneity every day' he said.
'I do the funny lines and the irony Connor, you beat up the muggers and dust the vampires' Dawn told him as she walked ahead, now arm-in-arm with her double. 'He's very predictable, he'll be checking out our asses right now and thinking depraved thoughts' she told the other Dawn who giggled.
Connor ignored them, he had been checking them both out but he wasn't going to admit it. He turned back to the unconscious form of the criminal instead. 'I'm always getting mugged' he noted. 'I must look rich' he theorised. Maybe next time he should just pull out his morphing blade and show the mugger concerned what a real knife looks like he decided.
Restaurant – Los Angeles – November 2005
Gunn looked at Angel suspiciously after he ordered for the four of them in French. 'And that's definitely what I said I wanted?' he asked. It felt strange to be going on with their lives like this while somewhere else, well in another alternate Los Angeles to be precise, some of their people were out fighting the good fight but that was just something you needed to put to the back of your mind on occasion. Xander and Anya were on their damn honeymoon for Christ's sake so going out to eat didn't really seem so bad thinking about it. If you never allowed yourself some time for your own personal life then you would almost certainly unravel and then you'd be no use to anyone Gunn knew, or at least that's how he justified it to himself when he took a well-earned break from sticking it to evil. It was all about the mission but what was the point of succeeding in it if you had to give up too much of yourself and your happiness because of it?
'You're getting the same as Nina except that her steak is coming rare' Angel told him.
'I'd order it raw if I could but you get funny looks from the waiter if you do that' Nina told them with a smile before reaching for her glass of wine. 'This was a nice idea' she told Anne, 'It's so hard to drag Angel out sometimes.'
'I had to tell Gunn it was either dinner in a nice restaurant or we go to see Pride and Prejudice at the movies instead' Anne replied. 'Sometimes I just want to escape from the Shelter completely' she said.
'Oh I wanted to see that' Nina responded,' maybe we could all go see it next week?' she suggested enthusiastically.
Angel and Gunn looked at each other with an expression of mutual despair. 'I lived through that era, it's highly romanticised' Angel observed. 'I liked the clothing styles though and the fact it was socially acceptable to carry a sword everywhere was handy' he admitted.
'It's the romance that's the point' Nina told him. 'Usually I get dragged to action movies' she told Anne.
'You too huh' Anne replied. 'I don't think men ever grow up, Gunn collects toy robots and comics' she said in amusement.
Nina laughed. 'Have you heard Angel talk about his car?' she queried before leaning forward to whisper. 'If he loved it any more he might lose his soul' she joked.
'And this is why I said it was a bad idea to double-date' Gunn told Angel. 'They're going to spend the whole evening with the character assassination' he said.
Angel sighed. 'Looks like it' he agreed dejectedly. 'Although Connor took Dawn here once on a double date with Stephen and Emily a couple of years back and they dusted a vampire that showed up' he said.
'Think that might happen to us too?' Gunn asked optimistically.
'It's not too likely' Angel replied apologetically. 'There were more of them around back then and most couldn't afford the prices here anyway.'
'Darn' Gunn responded sadly.
'Good choice on the wine' Nina told Angel after taking a sip.
'My sense of taste for food and drink isn't fantastic but I can smell a good vintage a mile off' Angel told her. 'We walked past another table that was drinking it when we came in and I noted the label' he explained.
Anne looked awkward for a few seconds like she wanted to ask something but wasn't quite sure if she should. Eventually she decided to go ahead and say it. 'So do you have a better sense of smell too?' she asked Nina, 'What with being a werewolf I mean?' she added as a whisper.
Nina giggled. 'Yes but it's not as refined as Angel's' she replied eventually, amused at the question. 'Sometimes I can tell who was in a room before I was and when my niece bought some friends home from school once I found I really kick-ass at hide and go-seek these days' she declared.
'Okay so now I've got a question' Gunn said. 'Did you always like your steaks rare?' he asked curiously.
'Not to the same degree of freshness' Nina replied. 'I never used to look at a live cow on TV and have these cravings to take a bite out of its ass in the old days' she said then paused. 'And fetching things never gave me the same thrill either if that was going to be the next question' she joked. 'So did Angel tell you I've got an exhibition coming up?' she asked, changing the subject before the evening's conversation ended up revolving entirely around her furry alter-ego.
'No' Gunn lied, causing Nina to turn and glare at her boyfriend.
'Yes I did' Angel defended himself. 'Enough that Spike told me to stop mentioning it' he stated, himself glaring at Gunn.
Gunn chuckled. 'Yeah he's talked about it a few times' he admitted.
'Boasting about the clever girlfriend?' Nina asked Angel with a smile.
'You're very talented' Angel replied, 'and yes' he added sheepishly. Angel liked Nina a lot, she was very attractive of course which was a big plus, and blond was his type, but they had a mutual interest in art as a common ground beyond the supernatural which meant he enjoyed spending time with her generally. It wasn't all-consuming, soul-releasing passion and intensity but he was as happy as he suspected it was safe to be and besides which Nina was definitely hotter than that teacher Spike had been seeing lately.
'Well to be fair I did once drag the handsome Private Detective I'm dating to parties to show him off' Nina responded. 'He looked so out-of-place and awkward though I thought it would be cruel to ever do it again.'
'You have done it again' Angel pointed out. Nina had made him attend several social functions with her friends during all of which he had revealed his ongoing inability to socialise.
'Because I am cruel' Nina replied playfully. 'If it makes you feel better they say you work the dark and broody thing really well' she told him.
'Method acting, you've got to live the role right?' Gunn said. 'Hey if De Niro ever played a vampire do you think he'd spend a couple of months drinking blood first?' he asked. 'They say he actually drove a Taxi for real before doing Taxi Driver.'
'I am not living the role' Angel protested.
'In the sense that you're not technically alive or the sense your personality isn't a tiny bit affected' Nina asked sweetly, causing Gunn to grin.
Angel fought back the urge to pout. 'Pick on Gunn' he said. 'It's his turn' he continued. 'What about those toy robots?' he asked.
'They're collectibles' Gunn responded.
'Doesn't that guy Andrew collect Star Wars collectibles?' Anne queried, playing along.
'Don't go there woman' Gunn warned her, 'dangerous territory comparing this coolness right here to that dude' he declared pointing to himself before turning to Angel with an annoyed look. 'Thanks for re-directing the fire in my direction bro' he told him sarcastically.
'If you'd stepped up to help me I wouldn't have' Angel replied.
'Hey I've always got your back' Gunn told him. 'Unless it's funny not to' he added by way of explanation. 'Why do we take this from the girls here anyway?' he asked.
'Because we're so hot' Anne told him, Nina nodding her agreement earnestly.
Gunn thought about that. 'She's right' he conceded just as the waiter arrived with their first course. It was turning into a good, relaxing evening he decided, maybe after another few glasses of that wine and a good meal he might just start to forget what Angel really was behind the human mask.
Southern California - Alternate Earth AE2005-0098-A (Pathfinder Index Code) – November 2005
'Shouldn't have let Dawn choose the transport' Buffy stated as the bus doors opened and she got out at the side of the road. They had hired five of them providing the drivers themselves thanks to so many of the girls having their Commercial Drivers License, real not faked unlike most of their ID generally, and along with a pair of jeeps they had driven as a convoy from LA timed to arrive here shortly after daybreak maximising the time they would have to scout the area in relative safety.
'Oh this is too weird' Willow declared, exiting the bus after Buffy and looking out over the town. 'It's just like ours' she continued, 'I mean except for the whole not being a big hole' she said.
Buffy looked at the sign that indicated the city limits. 'Welcome to Sunnydale' she said wryly, reading it. Where it had said population 32,500 at one time a red line had been drawn across it in red and "Dead" added in the same paint. Someone else had then subsequently prefaced "Dead" with "Un" in a different colour. 'Cute' she said as everyone started to get out of the buses.
The Dawn's had been on one of the other buses and trotted up to join them, one looking a lot more confident and happy to be there than the other. 'Dawn asks if we can collect some things she left behind in her house' the more enthusiastic of them said.
'Don't see why not assuming the Bringers haven't blown it up or something' Buffy replied. 'Just get it checked for booby-traps first just in case' she advised. 'I think Vi's had all her maniacs trained in defusing bombs as well as using them to blow stuff up by now.'
'Can I choose which one I get to take?' her sister requested.
'No' Buffy told her. 'Who's the one with the big mouth and the punk hairstyle Will?' she asked her best friend.
'Simone I think' Willow replied.
'Take Simone with you' Buffy told the two Dawns, she remembered being told that the girl was an undisciplined pain in the ass by Vi but was good with guns and explosives.
'Can't we take Connor?' her Dawn requested.
'No he's our best scout, I want him with the team going to check out the school' Buffy replied. Connor had superior senses to a slayer and a nose for trouble which Buffy respected even if she still couldn't quite get over the fact he was screwing her little sister. 'Take a regular slayer as well as Simone' she decided, 'find one with a scythe' she said, thinking more about it, if there were Turok-Han hiding in wait to ambush one of the more experienced girls with one of the mighty signature weapons of the slayer sisterhood would make quick work of them.
Willow turned back towards the buses as the girls poured out, getting ready to move into the town on foot. The gunslayers were wearing urban warfare gear, grey and black fatigues, which made them stand out even more from the crowd than the rifles they were starting to distribute to each other, they represented about a third of the girls present but at least three quarters of the swearing and gung-ho attitude from what Willow could tell. Faith had been in one of the jeeps with Wesley, the other local Wesley being still back at the Hyperion and they were in animated conversation with Kennedy and some of the girls from Faiths crew in LA. Rebecca was with them too, strapping on that oversized handgun she carried and showing her sword to a couple of interested girls.
'We're ready to go Ma'am' one of the gunslayers reported to Buffy, one good thing about the gunslayers to Buffy's mind was that they had name tags on their uniforms although the slogan "Chosen to Kill" written on her helmet made Lucy easy to recognise and remember anyway. Vi and the majority of her girls were still back home with Lucy the ranking gunslayer on this "deployment" as she called it.
'Eager to get down there?' Buffy asked.
Lucy smiled. 'Eager to light up some uber-vamps with the uber-rifles' she replied, indicating her new weapon. 'Bucky going full-auto in .338 Lapua Magnum should get the job done' she said confidently.
'Very big bullets, going very fast and they're on fire' one Dawn explained to the other. 'Vampires don't like them' she said.
'Understatement of the century we hope' Lucy replied with a grin. 'We're afterlife takers and heart-stakers' she said. 'We shoot 'em full of holes and fill 'em up with phosphorus' she declared, her grin widening.
Buffy sighed. 'If you people start enjoy your work much more I'm going to start docking your pay' she told her semi-seriously.
'Right, so I'll be sullen and miserable over there until you give the word Slayer-Chef' Lucy replied quickly, beating a hasty retreat.
'I still like her better than Jailbait, I think Lucy is only joking while Charlotte means it when she says it' Buffy told Willow, shaking her head sadly. 'I blame you and that damn mercenary' she told Wesley sternly as he wandered up to meet them, leaving Faith with the LA based girls. 'They were so sweet until you took them to Pylea and bought me back the Dirty Dozen' she moaned.
'They shoot really well and drink Scotch with abandon' Wesley replied. 'What did you think would happen with me as a role model?' he asked rhetorically.
'Hey if Stirling hadn't replaced him on Pylea they'd all be scruffy by now too' Dawn interjected.
'And maybe in weird romantic entanglements too' Willow added.
'They should be so fortunate' Wesley replied. 'You might want to go have a word with Tara' he advised Willow. 'I spotted her still hiding at the back of one of the buses with Bethany and Gwen trying to talk her into getting off' he said.
Willow frowned. 'I told her she should stay at the Hyperion if she wasn't certain she should be here' she said.
'Sense of duty perhaps?' Wesley replied, Tara didn't seem the revenge type to him so he doubted that was her motivation. 'In any case I think you're the best candidate to talk to her' he suggested.
'But it's so awkward' Willow responded, 'so strange to talk to her' she said.
'More so for her what with both you and Kennedy back in her life' Buffy pointed out. 'Come on Will give the girl a witch-to-witch pep talk' she said. 'Tell her we need her.'
'Okay, I'll go talk with her' Willow agreed.
As Willow turned away Buffy went back to looking at Sunnydale. 'It's so peaceful' she said in mild surprise 'The Hellmouth Seal is open permanently, there could be like a gazillion Turok-Han down there but it just looks so normal' she said.
'During my brief spell living here I always found Sunnydale very pleasant by day' Wesley replied. 'It wasn't quite as salubrious after sunset however and I imagine it's even worse now' he added.
'Much worse' the Dawn from this dimension observed quietly. 'My sister is buried down there alongside my Mom' she said barely above a whisper, pointing at one of the many graveyards. 'Willow is over there' she continued, pointing to another. 'You don't know how lucky you are' she told her double seriously, now on the verge of tears.
Buffy pulled her sisters doppelganger from this world into a hug. 'It's okay Dawn, we won't let anything else happen to the people you care about I promise' she told her. 'We'll close the Hellmouth and make it a better world from now on' she vowed.
'It's not fair, why couldn't this reality be as good as yours' the Dawn being hugged asked plaintively.
'Random chance, the quantum throw of the dice' Wesley commented. 'And a couple of time-travelling gods threw our timeline into new and exciting directions too' he said. 'They certainly altered the course of my life a fair bit' he added.
Dawn broke free of the hug. 'I'm sorry' she said, taking the handkerchief Wesley offered and using it to wipe her eyes before blowing her nose on it much to his chagrin. 'Being here again made a few memories come flooding back' she said.
'No need to apologise' Buffy told her. 'Except to Wesley for what you just did to his hanky' she said.
'Keep it' Wesley told her. 'Shall we get down to business?' he asked Buffy. 'I think the girls are getting restless' he told her.
Buffy turned to her slayers. 'Alright you all know where you're going and what might be in there' she began loudly. 'You know what to do so go do it' she said.
'Is that it?' one of the girls at the back asked in surprise.
'Shut up before she thinks we want to hear more' another replied irately.
'You'll have to tell Lucy to lead her girls off' Wesley told Buffy quietly. 'She expects an order' he said.
'Lucy' Buffy said loudly. 'Lead off' she told her.
'Gunslayers, as a skirmish line, ten yards apart, ADVANCE' Lucy ordered her girls, they would lead the rest of the slayers into Sunnydale.
After a hundred yards Lucy had a thought and started to sing, others soon joining in the tune as they headed into town.
"Oh sisters be ye not dismayed
But trust in your enchanted blade
Come drink and sing and lend your aid
To help me with the chorus
Demonic Legions we'll assail
In dark dimensions we'll prevail
We'd storm the very gates of hell,
for Shadow Valley and glory!"
Gwen, Bethany and Tara had stayed back to watch them go and looked at each other as the second verse began, something about setting Tukok-Han on fire. 'Well they seem confident' Bethany said.
'Think we should follow?' Tara asked nervously, Willow had gotten her out of he bus but she was still less than happy to be back in Sunnydale.
'Well I'm not walking' Gwen declared. 'I'm taking that jeep they left over here' she said.
'I think they said they were going to use them later on' Tara said.
'Then I'll give it back then' Gwen replied.
'Did they leave the keys in it?' Bethany asked.
'If they didn't I can always hotwire it easily enough' Gwen stated with a knowing smile, pulling off one of her gloves and letting sparks arc across her fingers.
'I don't think we should take it without permission' Tara protested.
'You are such a wuss Tara' Gwen told her. 'We need to find you a depraved girlfriend to corrupt you a little bit' she said.
'My girlfriends keep dying' Tara responded, 'who would want the job?' she asked rhetorically.
'Some vampire chick that's already dead?' Bethany suggested. 'You can put their soul back in right?' she asked.
'Or leave them soulless to guarantee the depravity' Gwen responded. 'Just make sure they know that if they try to snack on me or Bethany they'll hate the result when I shock them or Beth throws them through a wall with her mind and we'll get along great' she said.
Tara laughed, he knew they were trying to take her mind off the situation because they cared about her and she loved them for it. 'If you want depraved how about I try for a threesome with Kennedy and Willow?' she said, her delivery of the line spoiled by how much she blushed saying it.
'Not a completely hopeless case after all' Gwen told her with a chuckle. 'So do we jack the jeep?' she asked Tara.
'Shotgun' Tara said, running towards it before Bethany could get the passenger seat.