Paper Luigi X
Chapter 13: Two Walls is All…
"Halt!" shouted the next Watch Wall at the end of the next "up" path. "You can go no further…and nice dress, by the way."
"I am a sacrifice, and I demand to be taken to Hizza at once!" Luigi ordered, though in a somewhat awkward tone. Jerry shook his head while Blooey smacked his. The wall rolled its eyes.
"Of course you are…that's why the final sacrifice is already on her way to Hizza! And what would you be?"
"Dessert!" Blooey instantly blurted out. "I'm the…crunchy part of the meal, and Jerry there is the cherry on top!"
"…I see. Well, I guess I could let you by…IF you pass an extremely hard test that you'll never pass! Oh ha la ha!"
"Oh boy…"
"Here's how it'll work: I'm going to ask you a few questions on a random subject. Get five right, and you'll be able to go by without a fight. But get three wrong, and I'll never let you pass!"
"No terrifying fight then?"
"Nope-not in the mood today."
Luigi still gulped.
"Are you up for it?"
"Yes we are!" Blooey stated confidently.
"ahha! How you'll fail…Question One- What does Bootler the Boo look like?"
Blooey and Jerry exchanged glances. "We don't even know who that is…"
"I do! He had a giant, gaping mouth, sometimes red eyes…and a mustache!" Luigi explained
"Dar…I guess I have to accept that. Correct! But the rest of these will be super hard…"
Luigi shifted uncomfortably.
"Question Two! What is the special treat that comes from Goomba Village?"
"Aw! These are all Mushroom Kingdom questions!" whined Blooey.
"It was a random category!" the Watch Wall retorted.
"A Goomnut?"
"Correct! Drat! I thought I had you…this next question will stump you for sure! Question three! What is the only way to open the path to the Crystal Palace?"
"It's a stumper!" wailed Blooey.
"Get a grip man!"
Luigi vaguely remembered thinking about that very subject… "Placing a bucket and scarf on two snowmen?"
"GARH! Correct! You'll never get Question Four! What is the animal that gives rides to Lavalava Island?"
Luigi suddenly froze from a thought as he answered, " A giant tuna…?"
"No! I can't believe you got your fourth answer right!"
"Way to go Luigi!"
"Glad you're a mushroomian!"
"That's it! These'll be near impossible! Question Five! Whose secret wish is to sleep on the top bunk?"
Luigi knew there was something odd about these questions. Though, to answer this one, he got really quiet and squeaked "Mine…"
As Blooey and Jerry belted out laughter, the Watch Wall started to shake and quiver.
"No way! There's no way possible you could have answered five questions right! Now I'm going to…crumble…wahhhh…"
The wall disintegrated, leaving behind a Shine Sprite.
"Thank you Luigi. I knew you'd be able to pass my test. Honestly, I made the questions easy on purpose so you could free me!" the Shine Sprite cheered. "But be careful! The final wall guards the way to Hizza, and his curse is far stronger than mine and the previous wall's. He is forced to let no one but Hissys pass, and you'll need to do something impressive to get him to fall."
The Shine Sprite slipped into Luigi's bag, but Luigi's eyes were still wide.
"Good thing you knew those questions, or we were screwed!" Blooey cheerfully told Luigi.
"Blooey, is "screwed" your favorite word?"
"Screw no…what the screw gave you that screwy idea?"
"…no reason…" Jerry said nervously. He then waved his fuse in front of Luigi. "Yo Scar? Are you okay?"
"I feel like that sprite read my diary…"
-----
Within moments, the two Hissys and Malon had entered the lair of Hizza. Both Hissies set Malon down on a large plate, and the second Hissy quickly left. The first one hung around and made sure Malon stayed put.
"Good…he isn't here right now!" the first Hissy sighed in relief. He glanced at Malon. "He takes a small nap before he eats his victims, so "Luigi" might be able to arrive in to save you."
Malon raised an eyebrow. "You want me to be saved?"
The Hissy scratched the back of his head. "Well, between you and me, I don't really like the fact Hizza eats all his victims…it disturbs me." He then slightly blushed. "Out of all the girls I've kidnapped, you're by far the prettiest…"
Malon hid a blush as she turned away. "Thanks. You know, that's the whole reason I put the wedding dress on it the first place…Luigi and Blooey were drooling over Strudel and I was getting j-"
"Wait did you say…Strudel? As in a female name?"
"Yeah. The girl that's supposed to be here, but instead it's me because I put on her wedding dress."
The Hissy started to come over to untie Malon, but the sound of a sharp hiss echoed throughout the lair, and both of them gasped.
"I-I'm really sorry…if Hizza catches me freeing you, then-"
"I understand. Get outta here. I'll be fine," Malon assured.
"Just…try to avoid his smoke!" the Hissy called before running off.
"His smoke?"
Malon wondered what he had meant while staring at the dark part of the room, and awaited the fate that was Hizza.
------
"I'm scared! What if this wall is really mean?" Luigi pondered.
"Luigi-you're seriously afraid of a wall? Come on." Jerry retorted.
"Yeah! It's just a possessed Shine Sprite turned into a slab of cement that can talk! No big deal!" Blooey added. Jerry sent him a look.
"You know, you're not exactly helping…"
"He scarred both of us! You emotionally, and me psychically! Look at me! I'm a blooper! Bloopers are white, not this…this BURNT SIENNA!"
"You got the burnt part right…" Luigi stated nervously. Blooey growled and jumped into his face.
"The only reason I'm still hanging around with you is because I'm Malon's Soul Partner, and for some twisted reason she's your friend. Otherwise I would have personally tossed you into some lava!" he snapped.
As they bickered, Jerry took the map from Luigi's pocket and looked it over. They were currently going right, then they needed to go down, and finally left to where the final Watch Wall was…and the last area before Hizza.
"C'mon you guys! We only have one more door, and it's so close!" Jerry urged, being the only slightly sane one in the group. Blooey and Luigi finally stopped arguing and followed the cherry Bob-omb. After a close shave with a patrolling Hissy (who believed Luigi really was a sacrifice), they found the final Watch Wall, looking firm and dark as ever.
"Who goes there?" it said stonily. Luigi curtseyed.
"I am but a humble sacrifice, waiting to be fed at the jaws of Hizza. Allow me to pass, and there shall be no problems!"
The wall chuckled. "Ha ha. Like I'm going to fall for that little gimmick?"
"Aw, how'd you know?"
"You just told me."
"Dang!"
"C'mon man! Please?" Blooey begged. "Don't make me get down and beg!"
The wall pondered this for a moment. "Hmm…no."
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"With a jerry-cherry on top?"
"NO!"
"I'm gonna cry! Wa-"
"No! Don't do that!! Um…maybe, I just might let you pass…"
All three smiled in hope.
"…or maybe not."
"Aw come on!"
"What's it going to take?"
"A puzzle…" the wall began. "No one has ever solved a puzzle this puzzling before…"
Luigi stood his ground. "Bring on this puzzle!"
The wall chanted some strange words and a small object fell from the sky and into Luigi's hand. He took one look and screamed.
"AUGH! A Rubix Cube! Have mercy! I'm not intelligent enough to solve this!"
"Isn't that the truth-"
"Shush Blooey."
The wall chuckled. "Ha! You should've seen your face when you looked at the cube! Here, wanna see the photo?"
Jerry grabbed the developing picture out of a slot coming out of the wall. With one glance, he was on the floor laughing.
"Normally, it wouldn't be that bad…but he looks so stupid in the scarring wedding dress!"
Luigi growled and tore up the picture. "All right- no more playing around! Give us the hardest challenge you can muster up-that isn't a Rubix Cube!"
"Well then. If you can win this, then I'll let you by. But no one can beat my impressive score!"
The wall's face suddenly transformed into a screen, and a small mat appeared out of the floor.
"Oh no! The ultimate challenge…DDR!" wailed Luigi. Blooey suddenly started cheering.
"Oh cool! I'm really good at this game! Now you can check out my wicked dance moves!"
Blooey started spinning on the floor, then finished with a pose. Jerry clapped.
"Well if you're so good, then get up there and start dancing!" Luigi ordered. Blooey hopped up.
"Don't need to tell me twice!"
"Mawahahahaha! My high score is too high to beat! You'll never survive this! Activate super-hard expert mode!"
Blooey punched the air. "This'll be fun!"
The music started up, and Blooey was a tan blur dancing around. The arrows were going so fast, he kept tripping over his own tentacles and the wall was cackling away.
"Oh, we're doomed…" pouted Jerry. "Not even a master with 6 legs can stand up to DDR!"
"up, right, down….no wait, left, now up…OHHH!"
Luigi stared at the screen, trying to see how much Blooey was missing. Well, it was a barrage of "BOO!" "BAD!" and "COMPLETE MISS!"
"There's no hope now mere mortal!" the wall cackled. "Da na na na nuh na na…"
Luigi suddenly noticed a pattern in the dance steps. Up, right, down, right, down, left, down, right, up, right, down, left…
"Blooey! The steps are the directions we had to go in the maze!" Luigi shouted. Jerry furiously swapped his gaze from the map to the screen.
"Luigi's right!"
"Well I can't keep track! Between the speed and trying not to trip, it just a blur to me!"
"um…up, right, down, right, down!" Jerry chanted, and Blooey simultaneously performed the steps.
"…left, down, right, up, right, down, left!" Luigi finished.
"Then it starts over!"
"I think I'm getting the feel…up, right, down, right, down, left, down, right, up, right, down, left!"
"PERFECT!", "BEAUTIFUL!", "AWESOME", and "MARVELOUS" started taking place on the screen, and Blooey's score was skyrocketing. The wall's jaw would have dropped, if it had one.
"Up, right, down, right, down, left, down, right, up, right, down, left!" sang Jerry and Luigi, dancing the steps in the background.
"Da na na na, nuh na, na na!" Blooey hummed.
"C'mon Blooey! 5,000 more points!!"
"Hurry! The song's ending!"
"No pressure!"
"Shut it Luigi!"
"I'm just saying…"
The wall started to shake with anger. "No way! There's no way you should have been able to decipher the secret!" He turned to Jerry. "You found the map, didn't you!?"
"It was conveniently placed!" Jerry shrugged.
"1,000 more!"
"20 seconds left!"
"I'm dancing as great as I can!"
"500 more!"
"10 seconds left!"
"Up, right, down, right, down, left, down, right, up, right, down, left!" wailed Blooey before collapsing as the song ended. Luigi and Jerry gawked at the screen, awaiting the results. The screen suddenly burst out in flashing colors.
"NEW HIGH SCORE- by 3 points!"
"YES!" screamed Luigi, so excited he ended up tripping over his dress.
"Impossible! I haven't been able to beat my own score!"
"You are a wall, after all…"
The wall began to shake. "This…no…I'm not supposed to crumble!"
The final Watch Wall exploded, revealing the last Shine Sprite.
"DDR? Honestly?" Jerry asked.
"Well I wanted to make it interesting!" the Shine Sprite giggled. It suddenly got serious. "Just beyond this wall is Hizza's lair. Enter with extreme caution though…"
"We will!" Luigi exclaimed, plopping the sprite into his bag. He then look toward the path before him, leading to a black area. "You two ready for this?"
"I guess…"
"Let's do it!"
Luigi nodded and struck a heroic pose. "Let's go save Malon."
"…and get the Compass Piece!"
"That too."
...I had DDR on the brain when I wrote this. :D