Chapter 14
Beauty Mark
Miki tightened her clasped hands, fumbling a bit so that her ten fingers intertwined atop theirs. She found her lips curled up fondly as they returned the gesture, the calming safety of each other's hands. Akihiko chuckled at something that his brute counterpart said and sometimes she wished that it was her who put that laugh on his face, not the wistful tone that masked the regret each time Akihiko spoke to her.
She wanted to tell him many things, but words failed her and Akihiko would cast a sad look that he thought she'd be too innocent to see. She retreated into a muted bliss once she learned that it was easier for both of them to pretend.
"Okay, we're here," Akihiko raised his hand that linked with hers, index finger pointed to a whitewashed facility that stood proudly alongside the coast. The facility was a short trip to the outskirt of Iwatodai, boasting its calming atmosphere even within the core of of a developing city. A few blocks later, they stood outside a modest building that easily reached three floors. She craned up her neck, a sliver of scabbed skin peeked out from the uniform.
Hiiragi Therapy was a modest building compared to its main office in Mikage-cho, as shown in the gallery which was located in the lobby. The facility was busy. A tired, but smiling nurse directed them to the receptionist, a woman reaching her forties. She happily processed her schedule and handed Miki her appointment control book.
"It's good being loved, right?" she gushed. Shinjiro looked away abashedly and Akihiko accepted the jest with a quiet acknowledgement. No wonder, most people who came here were either alone or accompanied with a manic family member. In worser case, the patient would be on the verge of breaking down. She refused to call this building a mental hospital.
"Dr. Sonomura is waiting in her office, second floor, Miki-chan," the receptionist said as she waved them away. They located the staircase, Miki brushed her thin fingers over the wall that was painted in the exact shade of cherry blossom. The wall housed pictures framed in smooth ebony wood, fine craftsmanship retelling success after success of Hiiragi Therapy's excellence. She noted an old picture of a particular woman with a beauty mark near her mouth, a serene smile on her face as she stood in the left side of her client.
Shinjiro found the room and rapped the door. Two sharp knocks that announced their arrival and soon an energetic voice told them to open the door. "Good day, you three" rather than heard it, she felt the positivity within that voice rolling in waves. They bowed and the russet-haired woman stood up from her chair. She washed her hands from specks of water paints and led them into the sunlit room.
"I saw you three walked here from the balcony and my hands moved by itself," she grabbed Miki's hand into what seemed like a compartment with assortments of painting tools. A wide, clear windows that stretched from the floor to the ceiling took up the whole wall and offered them the coast side view from which they could see road.
A canvas placed in front of a wooden stool became their attention. A mesh of colours painted the sky pinkish red and three children stood side by side, clasped hands as if absorbing the center of gravitation that became the very emotion of the painting. Surprisingly, it humbled Miki. The proof that she belonged to their side, seen by the eyes of another person outside their small circle made the gratitude swell within her chest.
"It's not complete yet, though. I'll give it to you in our next session," the psychiatrist said, her eyes smiling at them.
"...Thank you, Dr. Sonomura," Akihiko said, scratching his cheek and directing a smile to his baby sister.
"Oh please, I told you to just call me Maki-san in our first session, have you three forgotten?" the woman laughed, her bowlcut hair bobbed up and down with her motions.
Dr. Maki then put a hand on Miki's shoulder, gently pushing her into a soft chair made from pure cashmere. "Well then, since recovery is important, I usually asks family members to accompany the process. To witness the changes, to encourage... After all, nothing is a better cure than knowing that there are people who wants you," she started, her eyes took a faraway look. She returned her attention to them, changing gears quickly.
"But for now, it's girls' time! Boys, please wait outside, alright?"
Akihiko looked torn between leaving or staying with Miki, although the latter was his first reaction. Shinjiro quickly anchored an arm to his neck.
"Look, dumbass, you want me to call you a siscon? The leader brat already called you like that twice. Leave the doc to do her job," he sneered and left the room with a wilted Akihiko in tow. He could hear Miki's small, quiet voice giggled at them.
It was a progress, he guess.
"... Can I see your notebook?"
They sat facing the wide windows, with the psychiatrist already returning to the canvas. Dr. Maki brushed a lighter hue of silver atop one of the children's heads, one whom Miki recognized as Akihiko. Calloused hands gripped the palette, slowly mixing the colours with the same care she treated her clients. At some point during the long course of her treatment, she told Miki when she noticed that Miki has been staring at her fingers that she practiced archery in her teenage years, in which Miki wrote that a senior of hers was one, too. Dr. Maki fixed her a knowing look.
The younger girl opened her school bag, producing a notebook worn by use and sweat. It was the psychiatrist that suggested her about using a notebook. Thinking back, it was because she was too afraid that her brother –strong, undefeatable Akihiko- would burden himself over and over again with the guilt, the regret. That he wouldn't be able to move on from the fire that should've burnt her to crisp.
Miki held out her hand to allow the woman in her twenties to take the notebook. She would read over the thin papers slowly, sometimes reading them with a smile and then delectably, almost gently, Dr. Maki would reinforce her to read her own notebook in whispers and finally saying a word or more. It was a difficult process for the first few years, but she said that being slow is better than accustoming herself to being mute.
Words poured over the small space.
"Let's go back! Oh, but I want to try the mystery ramen that Shinji-san recommended yesterday,"
"Hi, too, Minato-senpai."
"I don't really want to look good like that,"
"I'm staying behind. Someone have to tell the nurse if Shinji-san wakes up."
"There's something that SEES alone should talk about, right? I understand."
Then, sombre mood settled over some shaky handwriting. Those were the ones she wrote over the weeks of Minato-senpai's disappearance. He showed up on the dorm unscathed one day and she remembered the immediate relief it brought her.
"I'm sorry,"
"I want to see him,"
"I bet he's waiting in the dorm, maybe he skipped school because he's tired,"
"And then we'll go to the batting center together, just like before,"
As if the clouds were gone, amusement coloured the next words. For Miki, those words were more important than the rest because those were the words reserved for them alone.
"You won't get a girlfriend if you always glare at them, Shinji-san,"
"I want to save up,"
"I don't think I've ever tell you this, but your brothers are waiting for something, especially Akihiko. He's waiting for something that only you can grant it," she said as she closed the notebook, as if ending a phase that leads to an unknown path. For better or for worse.
Miki shook her head and cast her eyes to the scenery laid before them, fascination slowly seeped in as the years caught up behind her. This landscape was a typical view in Dr. Maki's office, one that Miki had gotten used to within the years she spent within her care. Miki felt nervous.
"Have you ever asked him... How can he gave everything up for you?"
No, she's not ready.
Not when Akihiko always wore that expression. The palpable emotion of someone expecting something to happen whenever he was around her. He would sat quietly in the staircase that led to the school rooftop, listening to her voice on the other side of the door that she wasn't ready to share yet. The nostalgia that Akihiko hid whenever he patted her head affectionately and his mouth moved as if he was going to say something, but refrained afterward.
What Akihiko expected her to do, Miki had no idea.
Dr. Maki glanced at the younger girl, as though to tell her she has to let go.
Both of them knew that it'd be Miki's choice to stop relying on notebooks or keep hiding herself under muted bliss. Her vocal chord has healed and her lungs were cleared by a doctor's check-up, things that were impossible years ago.
"... Isn't it enough?" Dr. Maki confirmed, as if she could read her thought. She chuckled then, and she stood up from her stool, putting the palette in place and pulled Miki up.
Dr. Maki put a finger in front of her lips, as if asking her to keep a secret, "I have a goddess on my side."*
They ran to the door, taking Miki's school bag in one sweep and in one second, they stood before the barrier between them and her brothers. "Okay, up you go! You have to tell them something, right?"
She gave no time for Miki to recuperate and suddenly pushed her, she collided directly against Akihiko's chest and she yelped. Akihiko threw the doctor a nasty glare.
Then, for the first time in the years they met, Dr. Maki's serene expression turned into a small smile, one that gave rise to a more accepting front of her facade.
"I like this city... We seem to get along, come again if you need my help."
The three of them left the facility, sundown has long since passed. Akihiko talked about crazy doctors and cryptic responses, an arm looped comfortably around Miki's shoulder.
A halt stopped them, Akihiko and Shinjiro looked at Miki's trembling fingers that gripped the ends of her skirt tightly. When two pairs of scarlet eyes met, Miki stopped thinking.
"... A-" she started. Akihiko's heart spiked up.
In the pause, Miki intertwined their fingers once again. The time they would spend from now on, with Akihiko and Shinjiro free from the regret. Even if it's only small, she thought that it'll be a gift only she can give.
"...Akihiko-niisama, Shinji-san,"
Back in the dorm, no one commented on Akihiko's misty eyes.
Author Note:
*Maki Sonomura is a cameo from Persona 1 and Persona 2, she became a psychiatrist by the start of Persona 2: Innocent Sin and she also appeared in Persona 3 in the Trish's Show, although she never appeared personally. By what she meant that she has a goddess by her side, she's talking about Verdandi, her ultimate persona which is the goddess that rules the Present. One of the three Norns. I've never played P1 or P2 so my research consists only of Megami Tensei Wikia and the game script.
And about Miki's therapy, the method Maki used is called 'shaping', one of the method used to cure selective mutism. Again, I'm no expert but I've put my damnedest best to describe the disorder. Feel free to correct me, though :)
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