The smell of coffee cut through Kate's sleep laden brain. She breathed in deeply of the delicious smell then finally opened her eyes. Castle's grinning face was right above her own. He was holding a mug of coffee and was waving the steam in her direction.
"What time is it?" Kate mumbled as she stretched her body to its fullest extent.
"You look like a cat getting ready to purr when you stretch like that," Castle said his grin growing bigger.
Kate scooted herself up to lean against the headboard and reached for the coffee.
"It's just a little after nine. You seemed to have slept very well."
Kate took a sip of her coffee. She closed her eyes as the warm liquid made its way to her stomach. She let out a breath and opened her eyes. A small smile touched her lips. "Thank you Castle."
He reached up and touched her cheek then ran his fingers down along her jaw. "So what do you want for breakfast?"
"Pancakes," Kate answered without hesitation.
Rick stood up. "As you wish, Milady," he said bowing deeply.
When Kate made her way out to the kitchen, Rick already had his first batch of pancakes on the griddle.
"Good morning, Sunshine," Rick said.
"Good morning yourself," Kate replied. She had already drunk two thirds of her mug of coffee and was feeling human again. She sat at the breakfast bar and watched Rick flip pancakes.
Rick glanced over at her. She seemed lost in thought. "Hey, anything you want to do today?"
Kate looked up at him. "As a matter of fact, I'd really like to have lunch with Espo. I feel bad that I haven't reached out to him. He risked his life to back me up and now his world is turned upside down. I've got to try to straighten things out."
"Did you want me to come with you?" Castle asked.
"No, I need to do this alone. I'll give him a call after breakfast and see if I can set it up." Kate took another sip of coffee. "You know, Lanie says he won't even take her calls. I'm worried about him."
"Espo is kind of like you. Doesn't like to ask for help. Needs to face things by himself. If anyone can get through to him it would be you."
Kate walked into the little hole in the wall bar. She had to stop just inside the door to let her eyes adjust. She squinted as she looked around. The place was really old and dimly lit. A long bar covered one wall. A couple of old guys sat at the bar. One of them shot her a quick glance but immediately turned his attention back to his beer. Kate imagined they were permanent fixtures. There were just a few people sitting at the tables. There was no décor to speak of except for a couple of beer signs hanging on the walls. Kate looked over at the bartender and he nodded his head towards the back. She squinted her eyes a little more and could make out a figure sitting at the back table. The ancient wall sconces provided the only light, but Kate's eyes were adjusting and she made her way to the back.
"Hey, Espo," she said as she sat down across from her partner.
"Beckett," he said with a nod in greeting.
"So is it safe to eat anything here?" Kate asked only half joking.
Javi smirked, "Actually the food's not bad. The plate lunch today is meatloaf or you can get a cheeseburger from the grill."
The waitress wandered over to their table. Kate thought she was probably in her 40s, but she hadn't aged gracefully. She was slightly overweight and her hair was short and frizzy with hints of gray.
"How you doin', Javi?" she said with a genuine smile. Her eyes scanned between Kate and Javi as though she was trying to determine their relationship. "You want the usual?"
"Yeah, Sharon, that'd be great," Javi replied.
Sharon looked at Kate. "And what would you like, miss?" Her tone was warm and her smile never wavered.
"Um, I'll have whatever Javi is having," Kate said deciding that would be safest.
"Alright, just be a few minutes,"
Espo watched her walk away then turned his attention back to Kate. His eyes were searching hers. He leaned in slightly, "So how are you doing, Beckett?"
Kate suddenly realized why Esposito had answered his phone when she called and why he had agreed to meet with her. He was concerned about her! It made sense now that she thought about it. She was the one who had fallen down the rabbit hole. She cut Castle off the team and quit her job. If Espo had been out of touch with everyone he probably didn't know she and Castle were together. He might even think she was still pursuing Maddox and needed his help.
"I'm good, Espo. I'm really good. Castle and I are together now. I've given up the case because I've finally realized living my life is more important than my mother's case."
Esposito stared hard at her. Kate felt like he was dissecting her. "That may be the bullshit you've told Castle, but I know better. You've spent your entire adult life chasing after your mom's murderers. There is no way you're throwing in the towel that easy."
Kate sucked in a breath. She hadn't expected that reaction and it really caught her off guard. She shook her head, "No, you're wrong about that. I am done with the case. It's not worth my death or the death of someone else close to me. I just want to move on."
He narrowed his eyes at her and didn't look convinced. "Then why did you want to meet with me?"
"I really made a mess of things, Javi," she said brushing her hair behind her ear. "I was totally in the wrong to go after Maddox by myself. It forced you to back me up when you knew it wasn't right. It forced Castle to walk away from me and it forced Ryan to make a choice between blindly following me which he knew was wrong or to do what was right. Everyone on the team had to make a terrible choice because of me – because of my obsession. I tore the team apart and I've been trying to make amends. I'm really sorry Javi. I should never have put you in that position and I'm really sorry you got suspended."
Esposito's expression was still hard. "You don't need to apologize." He paused as Sharon showed up with 2 cheeseburgers, fries, and beers.
"I saw my union rep. I've just got one more week of suspension. What are you going to do, Beckett? You were born to be a detective. You just going to live with your sugar daddy and go to charity events? That's not who you are."
Kate clenched her teeth and could feel her cheeks heating up. She knew Espo was angry but she didn't want to get pulled into a fight. "I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet," she said evenly trying to control her anger.
Espo took a bite out of his burger. Kate grabbed a couple of fries. They ate in silence for a few minutes.
"So are you going to be good working with Ryan?"
Espo snorted, "I'm not working with that weasel any longer than I need to. I'll be requesting a new partner or a transfer if I have to."
"Javi, if Ryan hadn't gone to Gates, I'd be dead right now. Do you realize that? My hand slipped off the ledge just as Ryan grabbed my arm. He saved my life. There isn't any way I would have survived without him. He did the right thing," Kate was leaning forward being as sincere as she could be.
"He could have backed us up himself but no, he went behind our backs," Espo's eyes flashed with anger. "He violated our trust." His nostrils were flaring as he locked his intense stare on Beckett.
Beckett slammed her open palm down on the table. "That's enough!" she said loudly. Everyone in the bar looked over at them. She dialed the volume back slightly but kept the intensity in her voice. "How dare you question Ryan's motives. He was the only one of us that actually acted like a cop. He should get a commendation. He saved my life! You'd really be happier if he just went along with the plan and I had died. Is that what you wanted?"
Javi leaned back in his chair and was now staring at his beer. He was silent for a while. "It's been hard, Beckett. You're right it was all messed up. We work so well as a team, but this time we all went in different directions. I've been mad at Ryan for not having our backs from the beginning and then when he went to Gates, it was just the last straw. I know what he did saved your life, but it was still a betrayal. I can't seem to get past it." Espo couldn't meet Beckett's eyes.
"Hey," Kate said still stern but no longer angry, "it's me you should have been mad at. You know Ryan would gladly lay down his life for you. That hasn't changed. There isn't any more a partner can give you. Now if you plan to skirt the law then yeah maybe Ryan won't be behind you. You'd have to be really wrong though for him not to have your back 100%."
Esposito nodded thinking back on the times that Ryan had risked his life for him. "I know you're right. I just need a little time to process it." He took a drink of his beer.
Kate picked up her cheeseburger and started eating. "Hey, this really is good."
Espo gave a little half smile. "So you and Castle are together. What exactly does that mean?"
Kate blushed and shrugged. "I guess you could say he's my boyfriend." She took another bite. "So why won't you take Lanie's calls? She's worried about you."
He made a face. "I'm not looking for pity just because I was suspended."
"Oh, Javi, she's not calling you because she pities you. She wants to make sure you are doing OK. I think she's still interested in you. I don't think she's ready to give up hope that you might get back together. Why don't you give her a call?"
"We'll see," he said noncommittally.
They finished up their lunch and walked out the door together. Javi turned to face Beckett. "I'm glad you and Castle are together now. That was long overdue."
"Thanks, Javi. I'm glad you get to go back to work soon."
"Beckett, I meant what I said about you being born to be a detective. I bet Gates would take you back in a minute. Not because she has a soft heart. She just wants a good closure rate. If you really don't have another plan you need to think about coming back to the precinct."
"We'll see," she said echoing his response.