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Nostalgia

1. the state of being homesick : homesickness

2. a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time

Erza pondered over everything Gray was saying…and everything he wasn't.

Erza hadn't meant to go to the river. She was actually on her way to the bakery—and craving her daily fix of strawberry cake—and the road happened to overlook the river and its banks, now white with snow. She glanced over out of habit, having a special fondness for the place, and paused when she spotted Gray lying on his back on the bank, his dark hair standing in startling contrast to the white of the snow around him.

Erza blinked at him uncomprehendingly a few times. He had been to the river before, obviously, but he usually only bothered if he was following Erza down. She wasn't sure she had ever seen him come by himself without prompting.

It was cold, the wind nipping at her nose and making her shiver in her coat, and she desperately wanted her cake. Whatever reason Gray was here for probably wasn't important. But he had always come for her when she needed him, and she felt that she owed it to him to at least check on him.

Sighing to the wind, she pulled her coat tighter against the chill and abandoned the path to tramp through the snow down to the bank.

Gray let his head fall to the side at the sound of her clomping boots, indecipherable eyes tracking her progress as she approached.

"Hi, Gray." Erza plopped into the snow beside him, wincing at the cold wetness that began seeping through her clothes. "What's up?"

Gray's lips twitched into a faint smile at her obvious discomfort, and he turned his head back to stare up at the gray winter sky. He draped his arms lightly across his stomach and sighed a cloud of mist into the air. Erza thought it rather unfair that he wasn't freezing and shivering after lying in the snow for goodness knew how long, but he was, after all, an ice mage.

"Nothing much," he said in a quiet voice. "Just thinking. It's a nice day."

Erza thought his definition of 'nice' was rather skewed, but, again, he was an ice mage.

"If you say so," she said skeptically, and he chuckled. "What are you thinking about?"

Gray's eyes were clouded and faraway. "A little bit of everything, I guess."

Erza resisted the urge to huff in frustration when he didn't elaborate, but it was hardly anything new or surprising. "I don't usually see you down here," she prodded, trying a different tack.

"I guess not. It's been a while."

"If something's wrong…"

"No, no, I'm fine. As I recall, it's always been you who has come down here when something's wrong."

Erza rubbed at her nose sheepishly with one mittened hand. "Ah…"

A wistful smile touched Gray's features, and the very corners of his eyes crinkled. "A strange friendship needs a strange start, I guess."

"Are you calling me strange?" Erza demanded, glaring down at him.

He dragged his eyes away from the clouds and chuckled, but even that sound had an oddly melancholy edge. "You? Strange? Never."

She eyed him suspiciously but relented. "I should hope not."

"Mm." His gaze drifted back to the sky, and Erza again found herself trying to place that odd mixture of melancholy and fondness that hung over him. What was it? "That was a good turning point, I suppose. A lot has happened here. I don't think I can even count how many fights you broke up here, but they were fun. Natsu and I used to spar down here all the time, as if you wouldn't find us."

"Yes?" Erza agreed uncertainly. She was still puzzling over Gray's mood, and it was starting to put her on edge. "I remember."

"You gave me sword-fighting lessons down here, remember?" Gray's lips quirked into that strange smile again, this time a little more fond than melancholy. "It drove you crazy that I'd make ice swords and not know how to use them properly. I was kind of embarrassed at first, but it was also exciting. Ugh, I admired you too much for my own good. But at least I can use a sword now."

Erza's eyebrows began slowly inching up her forehead at that very un-Gray-like admission. "Yes, I remember. You were a fast learner."

"Or what about that time you dragged me to the bakery and made me sample every flavor of cake they had? You were so determined to find one I liked to prove that I couldn't hate all cake. We got so sick after, though. We ate way too much cake."

Erza scowled and flopped back into the snow, folding her hands over her stomach and mimicking Gray as she also turned her gaze to the sky. "I still can't believe you didn't like any of them? Who hates cake?"

He chuckled again. "I did like some of them. I just wasn't going to admit it to you. It was more fun to see how frustrated you got."

"Fun…?"

"You were so cute when you got frustrated," Gray said with a snicker. "You had the most ridiculous expressions."

Erza tilted her head to gawk at him, her cheeks flushing red. "Why, you little–"

But he was still watching the sky and barely seemed to notice her attention. "Oh, how about when Natsu and Lisanna found Happy's egg?" He switched gears like it was nothing, gaze distant as if he had forgotten Erza was even there. "It's still hard to believe that there were a couple months before that cat turned into an annoying little terror. Or when Cana…?"

Erza looked up again with a faint frown, letting Gray's reminiscences wash over her. The things, big and small, that had been half-forgotten since their childhood days. Things she hadn't thought of in years, things she had almost forgotten entirely, things she hadn't realized he had squirreled away as important.

She stole frequent glances at him as he mused aloud, the cold snow seeping into her back all but forgotten. He was nostalgic, she realized. Something she wouldn't normally associate with him. But why? Had it really just come out of the blue, or was there a reason?

She pondered over everything he was saying…and everything he wasn't. As she considered the things he wasn't mentioning, things that would normally be included as a major part of such childhood nostalgia, she began putting the pieces together.

"You miss them a lot, don't you?" she blurted out.

Gray's head fell to the side, dark hair curling around pale skin and over the snow, giving him an almost innocent, childlike look despite the quizzical expression. Erza mentally kicked herself.

"Miss what?" he asked.

"…Your family. Ur. That's why you're so nostalgic today, isn't it?"

Gray blinked at her slowly, then let his eyes slide shut as he turned his face skyward again. "Ah. It's the snow. Makes me nostalgic for Isvan."

"I'm sorry," Erza mumbled awkwardly. "I didn't mean…"

"It's alright."

Gray's eyes cracked open halfway, and he watched the sky go by from beneath his lashes. He looked more tired now, more melancholy. The side of nostalgia left when the fondness was overcome by loss.

Erza chewed on her lip and debated what to do. The fact was that she knew very little about Gray's family and Ur, and she knew he wouldn't tell her much even if she pressed. That was how he was, always keeping things to himself. It was an uncomfortable feeling to realize that no one in the guild really understood Gray's life before or knew much about it at all. Erza could maybe offer some comfort, but she could only do so much when she had no place in that part of his life.

And the only person who did…

"Maybe you should visit Lyon," she said.

Gray let out his breath in a sigh. "I'm fine, Erza. It was a long time ago."

"I just think it would be good for you to–"

"No. It's fine."

"But–"

"This isn't really a good time for a visit."

"Not a good time?" Erza studied his face in bewilderment. He still wasn't looking at her, but the sudden tightening of his lips and grimness in his eyes gave her a clue. "Oh. Is it…?"

"The anniversary is coming up."

She winced. "You guys have come so far. He doesn't even blame you anymore, and–"

"No. Just…no."

Erza watched him sadly. He was always so strong, always a little bit distant. He didn't show vulnerability often, but Erza had learned to read the signs in his face over the years. She didn't like it.

He was like her annoying little brother—although Natsu might still be the more annoying of the two in that respect—and she was protective of him. She kept him and Natsu in line, but she also took care of them however she could. And like any brother, he was always quick to rise to her defense when she was threatened, quick to sit with her when she was sad, quick to shelter her under his wing when the outside world pushed a little too far.

And like any older sister, Erza wanted to hold him and shelter him and make things right when he was unhappy. She hated that there was only so much she could do. As much as she hated to turn over her responsibility, she knew that he needed someone else right now.

Lyon was, by all accounts, Gray's older brother in all but blood, and that was a sibling bond stronger than any quiet, unacknowledged bond Gray and Erza might have. It made Erza weirdly jealous in a way, seeing Lyon show up out of nowhere and usurp her place after she had held it for so many years growing up while he'd been nowhere to be found.

But she would step aside and do what was best for the little punk. If Gray needed Lyon, then she'd be damned if she didn't make it happen.

"He loves you," she said quietly. "Even I can see that. And you obviously still love him. I know there was some tension there, but I believe that he'll be there if you need him." She reached out, hesitated, and then brushed the hair away from his face with a feather-light touch. "I'd help if I could, and you know you can always come to me if you need anything. But I'm afraid that there's only so much I can do for you with this, so I'm going to give you some advice instead: go see your brother."

Gray stared at her, dark eyes big and lost with that vulnerable, melancholy quality that made him look younger than his age. Erza didn't see it often, but it always made her want to wrap him in her arms and not let go until the world was a less cruel place.

"Maybe I will," he said finally. He shifted, and nested his head against her shoulder as he turned his gaze back to the dreary sky. "But for now, my sister's doing alright on her own."

Erza blushed, and then felt a persistent smile tugging at the corners of her lips. She worked an arm underneath him, looking for a comfortable position, and then wrapped it loosely around him, reflecting that although the past was nostalgic, she was prouder of how far he—they—had come since then.

And then she turned her gaze to the clouds, and together the two friends found their future in the sky.

Note: Ugh, they're so cute it almost disgusts me.

emmahoshi: Lol I used to really like HP when I was a kid and read the whole series in like a week, but the seventh book wasn't that good imo and I didn't even watch the second of the movies made from it. As for recommendations... Erm, I haven't had as much time to read with all the writing and working and it's hard to find good friendship stories because everything is romance these days. I used to like the Ranger's Apprentice series by John Flanagan when I was younger—there are some good friendship and mentor/student relationships with the type of snarky characters I love. The Demon's Lexicon by Sarah Rees Brennan used to have me enthralled and had an interesting sibling relationship (and is one of the sources that inspired "Demon of Redemption" and "Recon", if that's a selling point). The other two books in the trilogy weren't as good, but I remember the first one being pretty badass, probably mostly because of the ending. I'd be disappointed to go back and reread it only to realize that it's not as good as I remember XD Mistwood by Leah Cypess is another old fav, although not as much with friendship themes as with a cool MC and her rather unconventional relationships. The Bartimaeus trilogy by Jonathan Stroud was also one of my old favorites. The MCs had an interesting hate-hate relationship and one is so snarky it's gold—if you can get used to the footnotes style, which I eventually found endearing. Dunno, those are just some of my childhood favorites that have withstood the test of time. They'd probably fall in the category of YA fiction. [EDIT: DON'T GROW UP, IT'S A TRAP!]