*Nurse is sitting onstage in Fiyero's Carriage. Behind her is a long line of possible stand-bys*
Nurse: *is apparently the new director* OKAY WHO WANTS TO STANDBY ELPHABA?
*every single girl raises her hand*
Nurse: Okay then! *closes her eyes* EENY MEENY MINY YOU! *opens her eyes and points* YOU THERE!
Elphaba's Girl: Me?
Wickedly Hope Pancake: *throws a cookie at her* I wanna standby for Elphaba!
*Elphaba's Girl and Wickedly Hope Pancake start fighting*
Nurse: BREAK IT UP! BREAK IT UP! *throws a thermometer at them* YOU CAN BOTH STANDBY FOR ELPHABA! THERE! HAPPY?
Elphaba's Girl and Wickedly Hope Pancake: *smile* YES! *run offstage to get Greenified*
Nurse: ALRIGHT! WHO WANTS TO STANDBY GALINDA?!
NellytheActress: *shoves people out of the way* OOH! OOH! ME! MEEEEEEE!
Nurse: *is slightly scared* Okaaaaaay...You can standby for Glinda.
NellytheActress: *is extremely happy* OH MY OZ! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! *runs offstage after Elphaba's Girl and Wickedly Hope Pancake*
Nurse: *looks over her shoulder* ALRIGHT! NESSA?
Throppsister: *wheels herself onstage in full Nessa drag* I'M READYYY!
Nurse: Okay... *points backstage*
Throppsister: *wheels herself offstage* YAAAAAY!
Nurse: *is slightly freaked out* YOU WICKED FANS ARE NUTS!
*Boq, Fiyero and Morrible walk onstage*
Boq: *is still in a full-body cast* Why don't we get standbys?
Morrible: *still has her clown makeup on* YEAH!
Nurse: *looks at the Director's clipboard* Nobody volunteered to play you.
Fiyero: COME ON! BOQ'S IN A BODY CAST FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Nurse: WELL...UNLESS YOU CAN FIND SOMEBODY TO PLAY YOU: TOO BAD!
Fiyero: *is the only one who is actually fine* FINE! I'LL GO FIND US STANDBYS! TO NARNIA! *runs and jumps into the Orchestra pit*
Nurse: *looks over at Morrible and Boq* Did he just...
Boq: Yup.
*Elphaba's Girl and Wickedly Hope Pancake are in Elphaba's dressing room Greenifying each other*
Elphaba's Girl: *is skipping around in Elphaba's Act One dress, Greenifying Wickedly Hope Pancake* POPULAR!
YOU'RE GONNA BE POPULAR!
I'LL TEACH YOU THE PROPER PLOYS
WHEN YOU TALK TO BOYS
LITTLE WAYS TO FLIRT AND FLOUNCE!
Wickedly Hope Pancake: *is wearing Elphaba's Act Two dress, Greeninfying Elphaba's Girl* I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT SHOES TO WEAR!
HOW TO FIX YOUR HAIR!
EVERYTHING THAT REALLY COUNTS
TO BE POPULAR!
I'LL HELP YOU BE POPULAR!
YOU'LL HANG WITH THE RIGHT COHORTS
YOU'LL BE GOOD AT SPORTS!
KNOW THE SLANG YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW!
Both: *are now fully Greenified* SO LET'S START!
'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT AN AWFULLY LONG WAY TO GO!
Elphaba's Girl: THAT WAS SO FUN!
Wickedly Hope Pancake: I KNOW!
Elphaba's Girl: What do we do now?
Wickedly Hope Pancake: *smiles* Want a cookie?
Elphaba's Girl: Sure...*takes cookie* Thanks...
Wickedly Hope Pancake: No prob!
Intercom: *comes on* ELPHABAS ONSTAGE IN 60 SECONDS!
Elphaba's Girl: *puts on her Witch hat* COME ON! LET'S GO!
*both run out of the dressing room*
Elphaba's Girl and Wickedly Hope Pancake: *run onstage* WE'RE READY!
Nurse: *has a giant cage onstage with the Director in it* Okay! Start singing!
Director: *is flying around in her cage* Remind me why I'm here again?! *looks over at Wickedly Hope Pancake and Elphaba's Girl* Why are there TWO Elphabas?
Nurse: BECAUSE THEY BOTH WANTED TO PLAY THE PART! OKAY?! AT LEAST I DIDN'T LEAVE MY JOB AND GO ON A VACATION TO VEGAS! *glares at Director*
Director: *stops flying around in her cage and pouts*
Nurse: *looks over at Elphaba's Girl and Wickedly Hope Pancake* NOW SING!
Elphaba's Girl: Uh, excuse me? Um...yeah...where's the Wizard?
Nurse: *looks around* Shiz... I KNEW I FORGOT SOMETHING! Hang on a minute. *runs offstage and pulls some random sound guy onstage* HERE'S YOUR NEW WIZARD!
Random sound guy: *is terrified* Ummm...I-I don't sing...and...yeahh...
Nurse and Director: SING!
Random sound guy: *looks over at the Elphabas* Help!...
Elphaba's Girl: You're on your own.
Wickedly Hope Pancake: Sorry... *throws him a cookie* Here! Have a cookie!
Nurse: *chucks a chair at the Random sound guy* SING!
Random sound guy: *runs offstage*
The Wizard: *runs onstage* I'M HERE!
Director: GREAT! NOW SING!
The Wizard: *looks over at Elphaba's Girl and Wickedly Hope Pancake* Why are there...
Nurse: *looks about ready to jump into the Orchestra pit* NEVERMIND WHY THERE ARE TWO ELPHABAS JUST SING!
Wizard: Okay, Okay!
A MAN'S CALLED A TRAITOR
OR LIBERATOR
A RICH MAN'S A THIEF OR PHILANTHROPIST
IS ONE A CRUSADER
OR RUTHLESS INVADER
IT'S ALL IN WHICH LABEL
IS ABLE TO PERSIST
Fiyero: *runs onstage dragging a huge bag* HIYA PEOPLE! GUESS WHAT I HAVE?!
Wickedly Hope Pancake: *raises her hand* OOH! OOH! I KNOW! A BIG BAG!
Fiyero: *totally misses her sarcasm* NO! *pulls a bunch of Disney stars out of the bag* I GOT MORRIBLE, BOQ AND ME STANDBYS!
Director: *looks menacing & is still in her cage* THEY HAD BETTER BE GOOD...
Fiyero: *is slightly scared* Ummm... I think they are...
Elphaba's Girl: Oooh! Who's your standby?
Ross Lynch: *climbs out of the bag* I am!
Wickedly Hope Pancake: *is freaking out* OH MY OZ IT'S ROSS LYNCH! *runs over and hugs him*
Ross Lynch: Ummm Okaaayyyy...
Elphaba's Girl: *pats him on the shoulder* Yeah...She's sorta hyper. But she bakes good cookies!
Wickedly Hope Pancake: *nods* Yes, yes I am.
Fiyero: *pushes Ross Lynch offstage* Okay! Here's Boq's standby! *pulls Tony from Jessie out of the bag* TA DA!
Tony: HIYA!
Elphaba's Girl: Isn't he a little tall to be a munchkin?
Fiyero: Ummmm...well...yes...but- well...IT'S THE BEST I COULD DO, OKAY?
Wickedly Hope Pancake: But...
Fiyero: THE BEST I COULD DO! *shoves Tony offstage* OKAY! MORRIBLE'S STANDBY IS-
Amy Duncan: *pops out of the bag* HELLO, NEW YORK! *waves and bows*
Director: *facepalms* It just HAD to be her. DIDN'T IT? *glares at Fiyero*
Fiyero: HEY! AT LEAST I FOUND STANDBYS!
Nurse: CAN WE JUST FINISH THE STUPID SCENE?!
Elphaba's Girl: Oh, you did NOT just call Wicked stupid!
Nurse: *is regretting saying that*
Wickedly Hope Pancake: *chucks a barbell at her face* NEVER CALL WICKED STUPID!
NellytheActress: *skips onstage in Glinda's Bubble dress* HIYA EVERYBODY!
Director: *facepalms* YA SEE? THIS IS WHY I WENT TO VEGAS! THESE DARN ACTRESSES KEEP MESSING UP THE SCRIPT!
Throppsister: *wheels herself onstage* Is it time for me to go on?
Director: THAT'S IT! I'M MOVING TO VEGAS! *opens her cage and flies out the door*
Nurse: SOMEBODY START SINGING!
Wickedly Hope Pancake: *whispers to Elphaba's Girl* What scene were we doing again?
Elphaba's Girl: Ummmm... *looks over at NellytheActress* What scene were we doing again?
NellytheActress: Ummm...Wonderful?
Elphaba's Girl: That's it! *looks around* Where's the Wizard?
Throppsister: Umm...I saw him backstage.
NellytheActress: Well, WHAT IS HE DOING BACKSTAGE?
Throppsister: Sleeping.
NellytheActress: Oh.
Elphaba's Girl: Can't you wake him up?!
Throppsister and NellytheActress: NO.
Wickedly Hope Pancake: *is eating a cookie* Umm...shouldn't we finish the scene?
Throppsister, NellytheActress and Elphaba's Girl: Oh. Yeah...
Elphaba's Girl: How can we finish the song without the Wizard? Wonderful is, like, HIS song.
Throppsister: *nods* True.
NellytheActress: But we need to finish the scene!
Wickedly Hope Pancake: HEY, LOOK! THE DIRECTOR'S GONE!
NellytheActress: *slaps her on the arm* And you JUST realized this?
Wickedly Hope Pancake: Well, can't we just end the scene?
Throppsister, NellytheActress and Elphaba's Girl: GOOD IDEA!
Wickedly Hope Pancake: Thank you! *bows* So...wanna go get some lunch?
Elphaba's Girl: OOH! OOH! LET'S GO TO McDONALDS AND FREAK OUT THE PEOPLE!
NellytheActress: OOH! I'LL GO GET MY WAND!
Wickedly Hope Pancake: This is gonna be SO FUN!
Hey people! So...what do you think of the character standbys? Just click that magic button down there and lemme know! ;)
P.S. any ideas for how to parody any of the other scenes? :)