Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, they are owned by James Cameron and Charles Eglee, however, the idiots of FOX Network decided to let them die, but they won't!!! However, the words are mine and ya can't steal them!!…
I've sold part of my memories
to the black market, but then again
memories are not the objects;
they exist in your mind as well.
I've sold my memories to the devil
for exchange of my lower self.
I've been someone else lately,
hopefully no one notices.
Coming out of the devil's office
a ring startles me, it's my angel…
and my legs give out without notice
and I can't reach my angel's voice.
What annoys me the most
is this stupid situation
I have no connections to make me better again.
I saw her the next day,
my angel, but I brushed her off,
didn't apologize for yesterday's stood up
and left her with words still in her mouth.
I'm sorry angel, I'm sorry, but I have to be selfish.
I've never been before in my life,
but I have to be it now,
for me, for you, for the man that needs to shine out
of this miserable and pathetic piece of skin and bones
called the body that I own.
I know you're worried about me,
I thank you, and though I snap at you
I don't mean to, I'm just, why! Why me?
Is just too much to bear,
one ex girlfriend, a failed attempt at happiness,
you rob me of my heart without knowing it,
but with you, left my manhood, well what to me is manhood.
It is not necessary for you to pretend that you care,
why fool someone into thinking you actually feel something,
cause lets face it, even if you did feel something,
I'd feel half of what you feel…cause I am half of a human being.
Don't touch me, my male ego's bruised enough
without having you to remind me of how weak I am.
Yeah, it is. It has to be, other wise, why would you hang?
And I can't stop myself from pronouncing the comment:
is it easier for you if I'm in the chair?
Pity, I know she pities me, she pities me because it was her fault.
She pities me because she might be poor in the pocket, unlike me;
but I am poor in the closeness, too many accquaintenances,
only her as a friend, and I've found out that she pities me.
She has realized that I've taken my frustrations out on her,
and against her will she takes me to see one of her devils,
yeah, the doctor that will fix me is the devil that tortured her.
And as we sit there in the car, I've realized what I've done,
and she understood what I did, and for mere seconds
against my wishes, the fog I've been surrounding myself with lifted;
You've never NOT been that to me.
But the fog came back, and it didn't surround me, it swallowed me.
My angel swallowed her anger and let things run smoothly
preventing her own sister from ruining, my someday roomy's
lack of action…
And the devil rescued her own soul by saving my angel's sister
and the devil lost her soul, to the hands of the real devil,
the boss' of my angel's sister
and I lost my chance of being anything but just a friend
cause to her I'm just a half man, half a colleague,
half everything but myself.
There is nothing worth to live for now.
So I pull the gun out, load it, everything is set in place.
I pull this little comma it has and it all goes away,
I pull this little comma and my angel, I'll see you in hell.
I pull this little comma, what's that water doing in my face?
Mrs. Moreno, my neighbor
I gotta check if she's ok.
And the knowledge she drops on me
well, is as if you said a little bird told you that.
I helped her as she needed and she helped me
unknowingly… thank you, Mrs. Moreno.
I come back, I don't know if I should finish what I started;
but before I get a chance to think of finishing all or starting it all,
my angel flew to my arms, and I knew she knows.
And the way she crumbled at my feet,
the way she hugged me and the way she looked at me
I knew that what she had said, it was all true.
My angel finally let me see that she more than cares about me.
So, I face reality and put away
what would've taken my reality away.
I feel my angel's eyes in the back of my head,
burning for an explanation,
an explanation I couldn't give.
And though she asked me about my neighbor,
I knew she was asking about me
she thought I wouldn't want to talk about it,
and she was right, what was I going to say?
Except for the fact that I almost
closed my eyes forever, and my angel,
I would never ever see your face again.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
A/N:*Wipes brow with back of hand* Now this one was a difficult one to try'n write. I didn't want to go too deep in the psychological part of Logan's brain, and I didn't want to ignore the other events that related Jace… anyways, I know I could make this better, but I had to sweat this one out… flame or spray me, either way, thanks 4 the reviews…JessicaM.