The Psycho Ward: SSBM Style!
Part 14.983! Mario!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything… I don't care either… I will offend you one of these days… and when that day comes I want you to hit me over the head with a dead fish…
Reviews:
Thanks… but I like flams more…
Gold Stars:
If you read it: 83
If you ONLY read this chapter and none of the other ones: 6
If you're name is Kaylin and I can't ever seem to spell it: 0.2
If you like Pee Wee Herman as much as I do: 999
If you like Barney: 875
Kid shows pwn…
REEL BIG FISH AND MAD CADDIES AND ICP AND WHAT THE HELL WHO CARES I DON'T!
(Mario)
I HATE LIFE!
I'M SICK OF THIS CRAP!
EVERYONE'S ALWAYS POINTING AT ME AND CALLING ME A FAT LAZY PIECE OF CRAP THAT DOESN'T DO ANY WORK AND LUIGI DOES EVERYTHING AND I JUST GET THE ATTENTION!
I DO MORE WORK THAN THAT WHINEY LITTLE FAGGOT!
Luigi just sits there! And when I save the day he cries and asks why HE can't go on any adventures! SO I GO OFF AND LET HIM GO ON AN ADVENTURE AND HE STARTS BRAGGING THAT I'M NOTHING WITHOUT HIM AND GETS PWND!
I have to save the little freak. And what does he do when I save him? HE STEALS MY GIRLFRIEND!
You'd think Peach would be THANKFUL that I save her up to 20 times a week from Bowser! BUT SHE JUST SLAPS ME AND TELLS ME I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON AND I'M TOO MEAN TO LUIGI AND AW WHAT THE HELL!
I SERIOUSLY HATE THIS!
People act as if I'm just a fat lazy idiot that farts a lot and uses people.
LUIGI TRIES TO KILL ME EVERY F(censored)ING DAY! I CAN'T EAT LUNCH WITH THE OTHER SMASHERS BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL JEALOUS!
Jealous… of WHAT? IN EVERY MARIO GAME LIKE MARIO TENNIS AND MARIO KART, MARIO IS THE LEAST USED F(censored)ING CHARACTER!
MARIO'S ONE OF THE LEAST USED CHARACTERS IN SSBM TOO! EVERYONE FIGURES HE'S JUST A BORING NORMAL CHARACTER AND GOES WITH SOMEONE MORE 'interesting' LIKE SHEIK OR DK OR SOMETHING!
THE PROBLEM IS… MARIO IS ALWAYS THE ONE WITH STATS THAT ARE 'NORMAL' WHILE EVERYONE ELSE HAS AT LEAST ONE THING THAT MAKES THEM FUN!
Speaking of SSBM… I HATE EVERYONE IN THAT GOD-FORSAKEN MANSION!
Captain Falcon keeps acting as if I keep him down. I HARDLY EVEN KNOW THE LITTLE PRICK!
I CAN'T STAND THOSE CUTESY LITTLE POKEMON!
Ness… well…
Anyway…
PEACH YELLS AT ME BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO COOK DINNER!
YOU KNOW WHAT BITCH? IT ISN'T ALWAYS CONVENIENT FOR ME TO FIGHT ARMIES OF EVIL THROUGH CASTLES OF EVIL WITH LAVA AND SPIKES EVERYWHERE! BUT I DO IT ANYWAY! WHY? BECAUSE I'M WILLING TO SACRIFICE FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP!
But no… She has to go with Luigi… WHO'S HARDLY DONE ANYTHING FOR HER!
Do you think the reason Luigi isn't in some of the games is because we didn't want him there? I BEGGED FOR HIM TO COME BUT HE CHICKENED OUT OF THE FIGHT HALF OF THE TIME!
EVEN WHEN IT ISN'T NINTENDO RELATED EVERYONE HATES ME!
SONIC BLAMES ME FOR SEGA'S DEATH! IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOUR GAMES WEREN'T POPULAR YOU LOSER! IT'S YOUR GAME, SO IT'S YOUR FAULT IF IT DOESN'T SELL!
I TRY TO GO TO AN ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET AND THEY DON'T LET ME EAT THERE BECAUSE THEY THINK I'M GOING TO EAT THEM OUT OF BUSINESS! HOW THE HELL DID I GET THIS REPUTATION? I HARDLY EVER EAT IN MY GAMES!
The kids used to like me… THEY HATE ME NOW! WHENEVER A KID PASSES BY HE'S LIKE "Ooh… you're so stupid. Your game is just for little kids and pussies! I like Halo. That game's so much better than you…"
WHAT THE (censored) IS THIS LITTLE FAGGOT TELLING ME? TEN YEARS AGO EVERYONE SAID MY GAMES WERE AMAZINGLY WELL MADE! AND NOW EVERYONE WOULD RATHER PLAY A MORE 'MATURE' GAME? I HATE IT!
I just rip out their eyes and shove them down their throat… then rip their tongue out and hang them with it…
YOU WANT BLOOD AND GORE AND MATURITY? HERE IT IS YOU LITTLE BASTARD!
IF ANY OF YOU WANT MORE MATURE GAMING JUST COME TO MY HOUSE! I'LL SHOW YOU THE TRUE MEANING OF MATURE! HALO'S GOT NOTHING ON ME!
I try to show Peach what Mature means and she goes off with Roy or Marth…
WHAT THE HELL? WHEN I FIRST SAW MARTH I THOUGHT HE WAS ROY'S GIRLFRIEND! HOW DOES THAT MAKE GIRLS LIKE HIM MORE?
So Peach is a slutty little whore who goes with ANYONE as long as it isn't the person who SAVES HER LIFE!
She's even gone out with Bowser before! THAT MONSTER TRIES TO KILL YOU MORE TIMES THAN ANIME FANGIRLS HAVE ANNOYED PEOPLE AND YET YOU STILL GO OUT WITH HIM MORE THAN YOU GO OUT WITH ME?
I SAVE HER AND SHE GIVES ME A CAKE AND THEN TELLS ME TO STOP BEING SO SELF-CENTERED WHEN I ASK HER IF THAT'S ALL I'M EVER GOING TO GET!
FINE THEN PEACH! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME THEN I'M LEAVING! I'LL FIND SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES SOMEONE WHO IS WILLING TO HELP!
The problem is everyone thinks I'm a self-centered brat. SO NOBODY WILL GO OUT WITH ME!
WHAT THE (censored)? WHAT SELF-CENTERED THING HAVE I EVER DONE IN A SINGLE ONE OF MY GAMES? WHY DOES EVERYONE ACT AS IF I'M KEEPING THEM DOWN? I'M SO SICK OF THIS CRAP!
(With this, Mario screams and goes to jump down a pipe. His body goes down but his head gets stuck and ripped off.)
YAY!
I LOVE LIFE!1
Mario needs to stop complaining… oh my gosh… that's so stupid…
Honestly though… Mario is always the most pathetic character in Mario Tennis and Mario Kart… he's got every stat set to pretty much what is considered 'normal'
If you like to play as HIM in those games… then I feel sorry for you…
Foamy got a front page on newgrounds! ZOMG!
YAYZ!
LYFE IS WORTH LIVING AGAIN!
Read and review… you have my permission to review…