Snotlout's Bride Chapter 14
The wedding guests continued to celebrate Snotlout and Sukiaqui's wedding for five more days. Berk had hosted such parties before, and they were usually uneventful. But there was something different about this inter-tribal celebration. One by one, little things began disappearing all over the island. Anyone on Berk who suddenly lost something had a good idea who was to blame; it was just a question of finding out which Bog-Burglar was responsible. If one of her people actually got caught, Bertha would order that burglar to give back what she'd taken. If the Berk Viking also wanted an apology, or punishment, or a promise not to take anything else, the female chief would give him a scornful look. "Be thankful you got your stuff back," was her usual reply. "On my island, the rule is 'finders keepers'." Tension between the two groups was rising. Five days was probably the longest time that the two tribes could live on the same island without going to war.
Snotlout and Sukiaqui spent the time doing what all newlyweds do. This surprised no one. The surprise was that they weren't at each other's throats over the vital issue of who was going to be the head of their household.
There was no problem with their indoctrination; each of them was firmly convinced that he or she ought to be the dominant partner in this deal. But when the indoctrination got in the way of passion, the indoctrination had to move over, and it did, repeatedly. That passion was purely physical; neither of them would have called it love. But it was enough of a motive for them to keep extending their truce, and to delay for another day the decision that they both thought they had to make. Considering their circumstances, they were adapting to married life quite quickly. The uncomfortable feelings that go with marrying a near-stranger fell rapidly in the face of teen-aged Viking hormones.
Spitelout had an agenda for his son. He missed no opportunity to make his point, over and over again. "So, son, how do you like married life?" he would ask him.
"It's awesome!" Snotlout would answer.
"Have you put her in her place yet?" the father would ask.
"Yeah, I guess she's in her place," the son would reply. Snotlout was being evasive; when he said "her place," he meant "our house," which was, truthfully, the place she was supposed to be. He knew that wasn't what his father meant, but being completely honest would have started a fight, and Snotlout had decided that he really wanted to make love, not war.
Bertha also had an agenda for her daughter. "Have you done any interesting burgling?" she would ask her.
"I'm waiting for the perfect opportunity," Su would answer.
"This is the perfect opportunity!" her mother would exclaim. "You've got a dozen Bog-Burglars on this island for the rest of the week. If you make off with something now, they won't know who to blame. Once we all go home, they'll know exactly who to blame if something goes missing. Quit stalling and do what Bog-Burglars do! Make me proud!"
"You'll be proud when I'm done," Sukiaqui would reply. Her big burglary plans involved finding a dragon of her own, and training and riding it daily so she'd smell like a dragon to the other dragons. As Astrid had predicted, she turned to Fishlegs for information. And as Hiccup had predicted, that made Snotlout jealous.
Snotlout watched his wife and the bigger boy step into a side room in the Mead Hall one morning, counted to twenty (he went through all his fingers twice), and burst in, shouting, "Aha! Caught you!" He had, indeed, caught them... sitting on opposite sides of a table, talking about dragons. They were quite startled at his sudden entrance, but not at all embarrassed.
"Snotlout, honestly! I'm just asking him about dragons, that's all!" she exclaimed.
"We weren't doing anything bad," Fishlegs added.
"I told you, you can ask me any questions you have about dragons!" Snotlout nearly shouted. "You don't have to go to him!"
"Last night, I asked you about Zipplebacks, and you didn't even know how many tails they have!" she retorted.
"One," he answered.
"Two," she rebutted him.
"Snotlout, you see Barf and Belch every day!" Fishlegs squeaked. "Are you telling me you never noticed they have two tails?"
"Who has time to look at dragons' tails?" Snotlout said dismissively. "Only dragon nerds, and nobody else! Su, the next time you have a question about dragons, you ask me, and nobody else! Okay?"
She nodded sadly. "I'm sorry I got you in trouble, Fishlegs," she said as she got up and left. Once she was gone, Snotlout turned to his friend with barely-controlled rage.
"If you so much as touch one scale on my wife's hide, then I swear by all my Jorgenson ancestors, I will –"
"Snotlout, she doesn't have any scales!"
"How would you know?" Lout demanded.
"Let's just call it an educated guess," Legs stammered.
"Educated, shmeducated! Just leave her alone!"
"Okay, I'll try not to talk to her," Fishlegs nodded nervously, and got up and left in haste. That left Snotlout, still angry, but with no one left to take it out on. He stormed away.
Once he was gone, Su hesitantly approached Hiccup, whom she found in the Hall, eating a late breakfast. "Hiccup, I know we didn't exactly get off to a good start, but... can I ask you something?"
"Sure," he replied. "I might not answer, but you can always ask."
"Can I borrow your Book of Dragons for a while? I wanted to go over it with Fishlegs, but just talking to him caused problems."
"Snotlout problems?" Hiccup asked sympathetically.
"Maybe it was too soon after the wedding to spend time with another guy, even if it was completely innocent," she nodded. "But I'd really like to learn more about dragons, and ... could I borrow the book? Please? It won't be a burgling; I swear by Nocha I'll give it back intact."
"Okay, no problem," he smiled. "It's in our house. Astrid should be there; go ask her for it. Tell her I said it's okay."
"Thank you, Hiccup." Either he's the most naïve, non-grudge-holding Viking who ever lived, or he's becoming a friend, she thought. She knew the way to Hiccup and Astrid's house (unfortunately). A few of her new fellow-citizens recognized her and greeted her politely as she made her way across town. She knocked on the door, hoping that the warrior woman was as forgiving as her husband was.
"Just a minute," Astrid's voice called. She opened the door after a while. "Oh, hello, Sukiaqui." Su caught a whiff of something unpleasant on her breath.
"Astrid, are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine. It's just a bit of a tummy bug. It'll go away after a few days. Can I do something for you?"
"I'd like to borrow the Book of Dragons, if I could," Su said. "Hiccup said it was okay. Are you sure it's just a tummy bug?"
"Are you always this concerned about the health of your robbery victims, Sukiaqui? I told you, I'm fine!"
"Maybe," Su shrugged, "but where I come from, when a woman gets sick in the morning, it means something."
"I don't know what... you're..." Astrid's voice trailed off as she went wide-eyed. "No. NO! I wanted to wait at least a year before we started a family! Gothi gave me a special herbal tea that was supposed to... oh, no."
"Astrid, I don't understand. You obviously love each other, and this is what's supposed to happen when you're married, right? Your parents are going to be happy when they hear about it, your husband will be happy, all the other women in town are going to be happy, so why –"
"All the other women in town aren't me!" Astrid snapped. "I'm not the motherly type! I throw axes; I don't change diapers! I wanted more time to adjust to the idea before I had to deal with it." She hung her head and sighed. "Time's up, I guess." Then her head snapped upright again. "If you breathe so much as one word about this to anyone, I promise you, I will personally break your best burgling finger!"
"Not a word from me!" Su exclaimed. "I promise. By Nocha. Besides, it's not my place to spread news like that. I'm not a gossip girl. I'm more like you – I'd rather solve my problems actively."
Astrid looked thoughtful. "I guess we do have that much in common. Well, it's rude for me to make you stand at the door like this. Come on in."
"Will the black dragon make me stay in?" Su asked.
"Only if he thinks you're a threat to me or Hiccup," Astrid replied as they stepped inside. "Besides, he's probably napping on a sunny rock somewhere. Unless he wants to fly, or unless Hiccup needs him for something, he can be as lazy as any other dragon, and that's pretty lazy."
She led them into the sleeping area and pulled a thick book out from under the bed. "This is our tribe's only copy," she said earnestly. "The information in it has been collected over five generations. I'm sure you'll take good care of it, but you need to be aware that it's one of a kind. If Fishlegs wants it for any reason, you have to give it to him immediately."
"That's fair." She took the book and eased it open. "Oh, wow. There are a lot of facts in here! I didn't think it would be this complicated."
"It's not that hard to figure out," Astrid shrugged. She had her hands on her belly, trying to determine if the baby was showing yet, even though she couldn't have been more than a month or two along. "Maybe I'm used to it because I've looked it over so many times."
"I like learning new things," Su nodded, "but I'm not much of a reader. It's too bad Fishlegs couldn't go through it with me." She had a sudden thought. "Would you go through it with me? That wouldn't make anybody jealous."
Astrid considered the possibilities. Her eyes narrowed. "If I go through it with you, will that buy me and my house some immunity from certain Bog-Burglar habits?"
"Sure! You've got a deal." Su hadn't been planning to burgle this house in the near future anyway – not until she'd figured out a way to get around the black dragon with the teeth. They clasped hands on it and sat down at the table with the Book.
"We'll start at the beginning," Astrid said. "Bewilderbeast. We don't know much about that one, except it's very, very big."
"How big is 'very, very big'?" Su asked.
"We don't know; no one on Berk has ever seen one," Astrid replied. "Bork the Bold, who compiled the Book, heard stories from some sailors. That's all we know about Bewilderbeasts. They're very, very big." The Book didn't even have a picture of one, just the dragon's name and the words "Very, very big." Astrid turned the page.
"Boneknapper. Now, those, I know something about! They're large, and they're friendly if they've completed their exo-armor, which is made out of other creatures' bones. If they haven't completed it, they can be nasty and very dangerous. One of them chased Gobber, our smith, for decades, following him to the ends of the earth, trying to get one special bone away from him. Gobber was using it as his belt buckle."
"That sounds nasty, all right," Su agreed.
"Not half as nasty as Gobber's pants falling down when the dragon finally got his bone back," Astrid said with a shiver. "You can probably train a Boneknapper if you can find one, but they're extremely rare, so there isn't much chance of you finding one, unless you've burgled a bone that he wants. Trust me – that would be a really bad idea." Su took a few moments to skim the details about this odd dragon before Astrid turned the page.
"Changewing. Those critters almost tore our village apart, looking for some of their eggs that one of us had stolen. They spit acid instead of breathing fire, they don't like having other dragons around their nest, and they can change color to blend in with their surroundings. I've watched them do it; it's amazing how they can disappear just by standing still in front of something."
"Has anyone ever trained one of those?" Su asked.
"Nope," Astrid replied with a firm shake of her head. "You can't even see them unless they want you to see them. You could be looking right at one, and not even know it. You aren't likely to bump into one, though. They keep to themselves on Changewing Island."
"Changewing Island? What a clever name," Su muttered.
"Yeah, a lot of the islands in the Archipelago are named after the things we find there," Astrid agreed. "Changewing Island, Dragon Island, Fireworm Island, Eel Island, Healer's Island, Yaks-With-Gas Island... believe me, you don't want to get downwind of that one... anyway, you're right about the not-so-clever names. On the other hand, there's Breakneck Bog, which doesn't break anyone's neck and isn't a bog, so you never know. As for the Changewings, they might be trainable, but they don't want anything to do with people, so you'd never get close enough to try training them. Let's keep looking." She turned the page. "Deadly Nadder! My favorite! I almost have this section memorized." As Astrid went on and on about the virtues of Nadders, Sukiaqui's thoughts kept going back to the Changewing.
A dragon that can disappear at will. That might be the perfect dragon for a Bog-Burglar!
Their dragon-study session ended when Hiccup walked in the door. "What's up?" he asked.
"I'm just helping Su learn about dragons," Astrid replied. She didn't say the truth – she was helping Su pick out a dragon – because she didn't want Su to think they were pushing her in any particular direction. "Su, if you don't mind, there's something I have to tell Hiccup." Su took the hint, took the Book of Dragons, and headed for the door. But she paused just outside.
She didn't hear what Astrid told her husband, but based on how her visit with Astrid had started, she could guess. Her guess was confirmed when she heard a thump, followed by Astrid crying, "Hiccup! Are you all right? Wake up!"