Jude's alarm shrieked at him and he could have thrown up from exhaustion. He hated the midnight to six a.m. shift for so many reasons and waking up after one of them made the top of the list. It was ten-thirty and Jude had to meet Connor in half an hour. He could have rescheduled but Jude really didn't want to. Connor would understand his sleepiness. Plus, he could get coffee at brunch and coffee sounded great to him right now.
Jude sat up and shoved his bed curtains out of the way. He flailed out of bed and then promptly tripped over the overnight bag he'd taken to Moms and which was still sitting unpacked on his floor. Jude cursed and caught himself on the couch. His body ached and when Jude got into his bathroom, he stripped his shirt off and pants off, turning his back on his mirror to inspect his tail bone. He'd slipped and fallen at work and he'd expected to see a large bruise on the small of his back. Though there wasn't anything, the skin was tender to the touch. Jude made a face and rolled his shoulders but those hurt too. He slowly dressed himself and gathered up his wallet and then he went out to Gerald. The angle of the seat bothered him, but Jude didn't bother to play with it. He didn't want to be late to meet Connor.
Jude arrived at the nano dorms at five to eleven. Even so, Connor was waiting outside for him. Jude turned Gerald off and beckoned Connor over to the driver's side window.
"Is something wrong?" Connor asked.
"Do you have a driver's license?"
"Sort of," Connor replied. "I can only drive with one person that's a fully licensed adult. Why?"
"Perfect. I'm a fully licensed adult. Step back."
Connor shuffled away from the driver's side and Jude got out, groaning as he did so. If this was what getting old was going to feel like, Jude would just stay in his twenties forever, thank you.
"Is something going on? Are you all right?"
"I mopped the floors last night and then promptly slipped in it. I hurt my back so it'd be great if you could drive. I mean, if you don't mind."
"Oh. Are you okay with me driving your car?"
"As much as I love the car, it's an old car. I'm assuming you've driven something before."
"I have," Connor said. "It's just strange you want me to drive."
"Come on. We've got a brunch date."
"Date," Jude heard Connor say.
Jude put himself in the passenger seat while Connor dawdled on the sidewalk. He leant across the console. It didn't feel totally right to be in the passenger seat of his own car. Jude didn't think anyone else had driven Gerald since Jude had bought him.
"I'm sorry I used the word 'date'. If you're really uncomfortable with driving then I'll do it."
"I can try," Connor said.
He got into the driver's side and turned the key. Jude leant the passenger seat so that he didn't feel as if he was going to die from his back pain. Connor slowly backed Gerald out of the parking space.
"Nervous?" Jude asked.
"A little. What happens if I do something to your car? I'm not that good of a driver."
"Don't worry about it too much. The roads from here to the brunch place aren't that busy. But if you do need to switch, don't feel bad about telling me, okay?"
"Okay," Connor said.
Connor was a slow driver. Jude directed Connor to the brunch place he liked. It was just a small café but it was nice and homey. Plus, it was inexpensive enough that Jude felt zero guilt over eating there as often as he did. Connor parked a space that was very far away from all of the others. Jude opened his door and glanced down at Connor's parking job. He was a little bit crooked and he hadn't pulled as far into the parking space as he could have, but it was more than good enough for Jude.
"H-h-how was I?" Connor asked, getting out of the car.
"It was good! I mean, it was kind of obvious that you haven't driven much but you can get better. You can start by driving me home."
"Maybe I'll feel better once I've eaten," Connor reasoned.
"That sounds like a hypothesis that we should definitely put to the test."
"Hypothesis?" Connor repeated.
"I am a university student," Jude replied. "I pay for the right to use pretentious language."
He held the door open for Connor who took one step inside and then waited for Jude to join him. They approached the menus and Jude knew immediately what he was going to get, although Connor picked through it a little more before deciding. They gave their order to a tall waitress who sounded like she had just taken too many hits of helium and then they found comfortable seats.
"What did you do on Saturday?" Jude asked.
"There's a flea market that happens on campus. I went to that."
"How did that go?"
"I buy weird things sometimes," Connor said. "Things that I know I don't need. My therapist says I should stop because it's just a symptom of having my own money and being able to do what I want with it. Personally, I don't think world is going to end if I have eight or nine cacti on my windowsill."
"Do you have eight or nine cacti on your windowsill?"
"I think it's ten now," Connor confessed. "I'm out of windowsill room."
"No other space?"
"The point of a nano room is lack of space," Connor reminded him.
"I guess so. I don't have plants. I kill them."
"You have windowsill room," Connor said, thinking of Jude's small window.
"Are you going to start hoarding cacti at my place?"
"Oh. I wouldn't take your space."
"It's just a plant."
"Five plants."
"What?"
"If I started hoarding, it would be at least five plants."
Jude laughed. "That's fair. It'd be nice to not be the only life form in my place."
"I'll think about it," Connor promised him.
They paused as the waitress dropped off their coffees and food and then Connor asked about Jude's Saturday.
"I miss being home sometimes, but, like, back when all of my siblings lived there. I'm happy now but being there without them is kind of strange. Moms still make the same breakfast, though. I love going back to that."
"It sounds nice."
"Mhm. I just spent Saturday at home with Callie and Moms. I had to make sure I was back here by eight though. I need at least four hours on a couch without moving before that type of shift. I usually can't sleep that early but I also can't stay up until six a.m. if I don't at least try."
"It does sound tough."
"And how's the food? Do you like this place?"
"I like wherever you want to take me."
"That's not what I asked."
"I like it," Connor finally said. "I think their bacon could use a little work."
"Bacon's hard to cook!"
"Didn't you tell me you can't cook?" Connor asked.
"Well … yes. Fine, okay, you have me there. What about everything else?"
"The coffee is good. I like this place. Thank you for bringing me here."
"Next weekend I'll take you somewhere a little more exciting, if you're up for it."
"Up for it?"
"It can just get kind of crowded and I know that you don't like crowds. We'll see if you feel up to it."
"I'm sorry I'm difficult to plan for."
"It'd be like this with anyone, you know. I'd still have to pay attention to things that made them uncomfortable." Jude played with his fork, sticking it in his crepe. "Speaking of … I'm sorry for calling this a 'date'."
Connor stared at him for a moment, then frowned. "That … that didn't bother me, actually."
"Really?"
"I can't even make it make sense in my head but … it's just one date. It's different than calling this a relationship."
"So, if this is a date, can next weekend be a date too?"
"I think you're supposed to ask before a date," Connor said.
"Then, would you like to go on a date with me next weekend?"
Connor nodded quickly. "How's your back feeling?"
"Still hurts. I think when I go home, I'm just going to die on my couch."
"Don't die," Connor whimpered.
"Then come home with me and babysit me," Jude suggested.
"We have to study today anyway," Connor said. "If you want."
"Of course I want. I'd like you to waste the whole day with me."
"It's a waste to spend a day with me?"
"No, no, no, I –"
"I was just trying to tease you," Connor interrupted. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. It's all right."
Jude felt Connor's shoe tap against his own. "Is it really?"
"Yes, really."
Connor smiled and went back to the few remains of his breakfast. Jude picked up his coffee mug and drained the last of it, slouching in the wide chair so that he could try to get his back to stop aching. That only made it worse and he forced himself to sit up, but having his back straight sucked too.
"Are you okay with being the one to drive home?" Jude asked.
"You might have to help me with directions," Connor said. "I'm not very good with knowing where to go."
"Between the two of us, we have it all figured out," Jude said. "Ready?"
"Ready."
Usually it took Jude about twelve minutes to get from the café to his apartment, depending on the traffic. It took Connor, who drove just under the speed limit, just over twenty minutes to do so. Jude didn't say a word about it. He remembered what it was like to be a new driver. He'd been cautious and careful, though he'd been tempted to be reckless a time or two, as Callie had constantly hung over his shoulder and reminded him about road safety. Jude couldn't have risked getting into any trouble with the car.
Connor parked crookedly in Jude's strip of driveway. He let out a sigh as he turned off Gerald and pulled the keys out of the ignition.
"Was it that bad?" Jude asked, suddenly feeling guilty.
"It was stressful. I didn't hate it, but …" Connor handed the keys back to Jude. "I like it better when you keep these."
"I like being in the driver's seat," Jude said, "So I'll do my best to keep them. Let's go in."
Jude led the way down the way down to his front door, unlocking it and turning on the lights. He stopped in the entry way to kick his shoes off. He would have walked further in, but he felt Connor's hand reach around to touch his hip and Jude immediately spun to face Connor. Connor was closer than Jude had thought and their chests were nearly touching until Connor took a half of a step backward. His hand still rested on Jude's hip and the heat from his palm was searing Jude through his t-shirt.
"Is everything okay?" Jude asked.
Connor nodded. "I was just thinking. I'm sorry."
"You can tell me. I want to know what you're thinking."
"I was thinking … I w-w-want to kiss you again."
"Now?"
Connor nodded.
Jude was just so relieved that he asked. He drew one arm around Connor's waist and the other around his shoulders. He worried that it would be too tight of a hold for Connor but it felt like Connor melted even further into him. Connor sucked in a deep breath and Jude hesitated, but Connor tugged at the side of his shirt, and so Jude kissed him. One of Connor's arms went around his neck and Jude felt the soft sleeve of the buttoned shirts Connor always wore against his cheek. Jude never really thought about the height difference between Connor and himself, but when they were kissing like this, it seemed far greater than it was. Connor brought one hand up to rest on Jude's chest and Jude dipped his head away from Connor's lips, thinking that Connor was trying to push him away.
"No, don't," Connor murmured.
Jude was happy to listen to that. He kissed Connor again, slowly, making sure that he memorized every moment of it, because every moment of it mattered to him. Jude wanted to pull Connor closer to him and kiss him like Jude had never kissed another before. He tightened his hand in the side of Connor's shirt, desperately shoving his hormones to the back of his mind. Soft and slow kisses were better than some far off fantasy, because Connor was really here in his arms and willing to kiss him like this. Connor tugged at Jude's shirt and for the second time, Jude ended their kiss. He kept Connor close to him and Connor made no move away. Rather, he rested his head on Jude's shoulder.
"I think I like that."
"I like you being close," Jude replied.
"I think I like this too," Connor agreed.
"As long as you're comfortable."
Jude felt Connor squeeze him gently.
"Oh, but no, I think I'm bruised," Jude squeaked.
"Oh! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you!" Connor released him in an instant and stepped backward so that he was flat against the door. "I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry! Don't be mad! Please, I –"
"I'm not mad. It's not your fault I'm sore like this."
"I'm sorry," Connor repeated.
"I know. It's not a big deal, okay?" Jude held out his hand and Connor flinched. "Oh, Connor."
Connor slid to the floor and curled into the corner by the door. Jude took a few steps backward. He really didn't know what to do as Connor tucked his head between his knees and went rigid. Jude put himself at what he thought was a good distance away and then he slowly lowered himself to the floor. He didn't know what else to do. He couldn't go sit on the couch because it would be like leaving Connor. Jude just sat there and watched Connor as the minutes ticked by. His back was screaming at him to go and lay down, but Jude didn't move. Connor started peeking at him over the top of his arm. Finally, Connor turned his head fully, resting his cheek on top of his knees, so that he and Jude were looking at one another.
"What are you doing?" he whispered.
"I'm sitting with you. I want to make sure you're okay."
Jude watched as Connor pondered this and then Connor's lips parted, as if he were about to speak, but then he closed his mouth again. His eyes drifted shut and he seemed to curl even further up on himself. Jude wanted to sigh but he held his tongue. Jude didn't like that this had happened but he would have to be dumb to think that it would never happen. He did his best but that didn't mean everything would be perfect.
"I'm waiting for it to hurt," Connor whispered.
"It's not going to."
Connor lifted his head again and the distrust in his eyes was piercing. How many times had he sat like that only for it to actually hurt? Jude wondered both how someone could live like that and how someone could do that to another person.
"Promise?"
"I promise."
Jude wondered if Connor had that promise broken to him before. He wasn't going to be another person to do it.
"I don't want to hurt you and I'm never going to do it on purpose."
"I want to trust you."
"It'll take some time. I'll earn it."
"You have some."
Connor held out his hand and Jude leant forward and took it. He winced as his shoulders stretched and he saw Connor's face transform again. Connor's grip loosened, but Jude hung on.
"It's okay, we don't have to overreact. You didn't do anything. It isn't your fault."
Connor's hand tightened again. "W-w-what now?"
"What do you want?" Jude asked.
"Is it … is it okay if I want to stay with you?"
"Of course it is. Can you help me up?"
Connor bounced to his feet quickly and then helped Jude up.
"Should you have ice on your back or something?"
"Probably. I've an ice pack in the freezer."
Connor followed Jude to the doorway of the kitchen and then lingered there as Jude dug around and found the ice pack in the back of his freezer. Jude barely remembered why he had the thing in the first place. He pulled it out from behind a bag of fries and then shut the freezer door.
"Couch?" he asked Connor. "Unless you wanted to sit somewhere else."
"Where? I hate to say it … but your stools aren't that comfortable."
"You could always take a nap on the bed," Jude joked, but his humour fell flat and Connor just gave a panicked shake of his head. "Okay, couch it is."
He and Connor settled on their sides of the couch and Jude carefully piled his thin couch pillows under his back and ice pack, resting his legs across the coffee table. Connor was in a ball at the end of the couch and he was pulling at the plaid throw blanket that Jude kept on the back of the sofa.
"Do you mind if I use this?"
"Are you cold?" Jude asked.
"I just like feeling, um, covered."
"Go ahead."
Connor pulled the blanket over him, making sure that it was tucked around his neck so that Jude couldn't see anything but his head.
"What do you want to watch?" Jude asked, picking up the remote.
"Whatever you want."
Jude decided not to press Connor for a decision this time. He flicked around through the comedians and found one that was supposed to be like John Mulaney and pressed play. He slumped back against his ice pack, feeling the patch of skin on the small of his back go numb. It felt better than the pain, though, and Jude would take it. He felt more than a little tired and he began to drowse against the back of the couch.
Before he knew it, he was fast asleep.
The chapter's title is after the song The Fight by Keith Urban ft. Carrie Underwood. If you have a song that reminds you of Barefoot And Bruised and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)
So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Barefoot And Bruised, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash barefoot dash and dash bruised dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.
~TLL~