Dawn of the Personality-Challenged Power Rangers
By Holly-Batali

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Bridge or SPD. Nor do I own Grumm and his various assorted nasties. See below for further details...

And I quote:

'I do not own Power Rangers, SPD, musical theatre, sitcoms, Mexico, Goths (in all forms and terms), germ phobia, Lysol (and other various cleaning products), or Puff the Magic Dragon. However, I do own Puffers the not-so-magical-as-much-as-polyester-fiber dragon.'

So THERE.

Chapter 14: How to Lose Your Mind In Just Over Three Hours by Bridge Carson

As the great Robert Benchly (don't ask me who he is) once said, 'It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.'

Now, I'm not sure about the "famous" part of it, but it sure didn't take me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing. I found out in about three hours, sixteen minutes, and fifty-three point seven two five nine seconds. What can I say, I have a good mind...and an even better stopwatch.

I groaned in frustration and threw my pen at a passing D-Squad cadet. He yelped and ran out of the rec room. I spread myself out on the couch, like butter on toast...mmmm...buttery toast.

I was somewhat aware of Z coming down to sit next to me, regarding me curiously. After a few minutes I got fed up. "What?" I asked rudely. "Do you need something 'Miss Delgado?'"

Unruffled, she replied, "I see you're not writing much...if the pile of rumpled papers by your seat is any evidence. And it is; I've taken the liberty to confiscate them and send them to forensics."

I slapped my forehead--a very familiar action these past weeks.

"I don't see you writing Judge Judy."

"I have been," she said primly, and pulled out a sleek, shiny laptop. I nearly drooled in envy. "I've discovered that perhaps Ms. Drew was right; food poisoning could be likely. With the way food is stored and prepared here the SPD Academy, it's likely that a virus could have entered the food in preparation time. It could be food poisoning, mercury intake, e-coli--"

"Anything that doesn't involve food?" I asked testily. She's as good as just shouting that I was poisoned by my own precious buttery toast! The nerve, honestly.

"Well, now that you mention it, Mr..." she glanced at her clipboard, "Lancelot; his idea--extreme boredom--might have something to do with it. Not the entire problem, certainly, but some of it, perhaps. I'll have Dr. Felix run a few medical tests on the entire B-Squad, then we'll just see, won't we?"

"OW! Geez, watch the nerves, Doc." Jack rubbed his arm as Dr. Felix finished up a blood test, extracting his needle and putting a label on the vial.

"Get over it, Jack." he mumbled.

Jack huffed and came over to sit in the plastic chair at the end of a long line that consisted of five people: Jack, Sky, Z, Syd, and me. I squirmed fearfully in my chair.

"Relax, Bridge." Syd soothed. "It'll be fine. Doc has a totally groovy karma, 'kay?"

I glanced around with crazy eyes. "Yeah, I know."

"Then what could you possibly be afraid of?"

I hesitated. "Well, see...I know this is a medical facility and all," I said in a quiet rush, "but just think, just try to fathom, all of the germs in this very room!" She sighed, and said something along the lines of 'not this again,' and I gestured impatiently. "No, listen! Tons of sick people come in here every day, and they bleed and sneeze and cough all over this place! Honestly! What if we catch pnemonia? Or the flu? Or, or, or...Yersina Pestis!" I gasped. "It's all a sick twisted trick! We're all going to die!!"

"Bridge! Calm down!" she hissed, trying to come my borderline hyperventhilation. She paused. "Ye-what?"

"Yersina Pestis," I said in a small voice, "you know; the bubonic, septicemic, and pneumocic plagues?"

She paused for a moment. "Oh." Now she sounded a little more freaked. Good. It was about time that somebody--other than than me--was seeing sense here.

"Carson, you're up." I whimpered and went over to the doctor and sat down on the crinkly-paper stuff. "Time to draw a little blood," he said lightly. My eyes widened and I gulped as he pulled out the biggest needle I have ever seen. "This won't hurt a bit," he reassured, chuckling.

"Oh crap." I gulped.

Then my eyes rolled up and I fainted.

Authors Note: Okay. I admit. I cheated. I said I wouldn't update till 6/1, but I had two or three full chapters to stories just sitting in my Documents file...and, obviously, I updated. So sue me.