"You know, we never really talked about it." Harvey's casual remark broke the silence that had existed between them ever since they began this impromptu walk twenty minutes ago.
"It?" Donna asked, purposefully stalling, trying to understand why he was initiating this conversation. She had agreed to the stroll Harvey had suggested back at the office because she appreciated a chance to get away from all the staring. Goggling associates had become quite the norm since the attack. But Donna hadn't been able to figure Harvey's reasons for asking her to join him.
He couldn't be getting at- no. Harvey wasn't one to discuss feelings, so he couldn't possibly be bringing up the moment before the paramedics arrived.
"Kalvitch." His tone was firm and he stopped walking so he could face her. "But you knew that."
"Well, I couldn't make it too easy for you." She kept her tone light, not sure she liked where this was headed. She didn't really want to talk about Kalvitch. She didn't like the memories that had surfaced when he'd slapped her. She wasn't as certain of how she felt about Harvey's words to her before the paramedics arrived, but knew that talking about it was likely to get messy. And she was certain she didn't like mess.
"I guess the whole thing is a bit of a blur." His casual tone might've fooled her if she hadn't remembered the every word he'd said to her in precise detail. It wasn't every day Harvey Specter told you he loved you.
"I remember a few things."
She knew he'd said it back then, in the midst of blood, and death, and fear. But she needed him to say it now, again. She needed him to tell her that he had been serious, and that he would always be serious when he said it. She needed him to say it so she could know that he meant it the way she wanted him to mean it.
"Um," Harvey cursed himself for starting so clumsily. He was a lawyer for Christ's sake, he knew how to talk! He just wasn't sure he could do it. He wasn't this person who got gooey and mushy and talked about their feelings. He hadn't been anything close to sentimental for a long time. People took sentiment and stabbed you in the back with it. He had to trust Donna not to do that.
"Donna, here's the thing. Do you remember after you got shot? When we were waiting for the paramedics and I was telling you to stay with me?" She nodded slowly, on tenterhooks, hoping against hope he was going where she thought he was going.
"I told you something else. I-" He stopped short and took in an agonizingly slow breath. Memories of other people he loved, the same people who'd left him ran through his mind. He let out the breath; Donna wouldn't betray him like that.
"I told you I loved you."
Fireworks exploded, angels sang, the heavens opened, music played…
Okay maybe that's my imagination, Donna admitted. But she could honestly swear that she had never been so happy. It was a moment for clichés. Every cheesy romance movie she had ever seen suddenly seemed a lot less ridiculous than they had before.
She was thinking this, and then suddenly realized it had been a full minute since he told her, and she had still not said anything, too occupied with her own happiness.
Well, that's awkward.
She looked at him. He stared back at her. She searched his brown eyes, but failed to find a single hint of emotion, Harvey had taken her silence for rejection and was shutting himself down. She knew what that was like.
He thinks I'm trying to come up with a way to let him down easy.
His next words confirmed this theory.
"Donna you don't have to be in love with me. God knows I didn't expect that." The slight edge told her that he had hoped for it. "But at least say something. I think I deserve more than silence."
You do deserve more. A lot more.
But Harvey didn't give her a chance to say anything before he spun on his heel and walked away.
Shit.
"Harvey. Harvey!" Even her most intimidating tone could not get him to turn. So she ran after him.
This is completely ludicrous. I am actually in a rom-com right now.
Only when she physically put a hand on his shoulder did he do her the favor of meeting her eyes. His gaze was sad. Hers was pissed.
"Thank you! Now that you have deigned to meet my eyes, I'll tell you what I probably should have told three months after you hired me."
"What? That we could never have a relationship outside of the office. That even if we didn't work together we could never be happy with each other. Save it Donna. Tell me something I don't know." And again she was confronted with the sight of his receding back.
"Hey! Hey! God damn it Harvey Specter, look at me!" He did. Which was good because Donna was an inch away from totally losing it. She advanced on him menacingly.
"You are insufferable, and cocky, and intolerably sure of yourself. You never know when to stop and hell will freeze over before you admit that you're wrong."
They were inches apart now. The ferocity of her onslaught had apparently shocked him into immobile silence. Donna could feel the warmth of him, and she did the only thing she could after insulting him more times in one breath than she had in the last year.
She kissed him.
And if angels sang, the heavens opened, music played, and fireworks exploded, Donna would not have noticed. She was completely immersed in Harvey. In the taste of his lips on hers. In the texture of his hair in her hands. In the way he held her close, with two arms around her, like he would never let her go. In the fact that this kiss was better than every other kiss she had ever had, combined.
Harvey had to admit that he had frozen when the lips of his beautiful secretary met his. But only for a second.
Then he was kissing her back with every thing he had. If this was a fluke, and he couldn't get rid of the niggling suspicion that it was, he was going to make damn well be sure it was the best fluke he could get. He decided that even if it wasn't going to last, it was still worth it. Even if he never saw her again, it was still worth it.
Because kissing Donna was better than sex with any other woman on the planet. Her lips were perfect, her body was perfect, she was perfect. Harvey forgot about betrayals and absent parents. He forgot about reservations and concerns and cynicism.
He was just thinking that nothing could be better than this, when it did. Donna broke away from him, and his initial disappointment was swept away when she put her lips to his ear.
The whisper stole into his brain, and he would never forget the sound of her voice when she told him.
"I love you too."
Okay, for those of you disappointed that this final scene didn't really discuss their histories, I apologize. I kinda wrote this chapter in one go and liked the way it came out. But I also felt like I should've had a lot more about how their pasts came into play. So I was thinking I would write a sequel to this fic, one that talks about Harvey and Donna's relationship and how their pasts play a part as things develop. Also a bit more about how Kalvitch's attack affected them. What do you think? Criticisms, ideas, and encouragement are all welcome.
Thank you to everyone who read this, an extra thanks to everyone who took the time to review, and best of luck to all other writers out there. It's been fun and I hope some of you try my future fics.
Thanks!
