The Uncanny Four

Chapter 14: Goodbye Salty Badness

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- The Fantastic Four, the X-Men, Namor and all familiar characters belong to Marvel, I only own August.

Shout Outs-

Agent-G- Don't worry, Death will make her presence known soon enough.

Manhattan-

Selene was walking down the streets of Manhattan. She was starting to make plans for her upcoming wedding. Sue was with her, as were the teenaged Val, August, Amara, Rachel and Alicia Masters.

'It's nice of you to agree to come with us, Alicia.' Selene said. 'Are you sure you wouldn't rather be elsewhere? I know that Ben and you used to be together.'

'It's quite alright.' The blind sculptress replied. 'I'm happy for you and Ben and I'm thankful that you chose his ex-girlfriend to come along with you on this trip.

'Think nothing of it, Alicia.' August replied. 'Amara, Rachel and I all have history with Selene. Hopefully she'll soon decide who to choose as he maid of honour.'

'I'm sorry dear, my lips are sealed for now.' Selene said, keeping quiet about her choice. 'But any more lip and you'll be relegated to flower girl.'

'Yes mother…' August pouted.

Val snickered at the sight of the grown woman acting like an admonished child.

'Val, don't make fun, it isn't nice.' Sue told her daughter. 'That's unless you want to be the flower girl.'

'Shutting up.' Val quickly said.

Elsewhere-

Elsewhere in Manhattan, Ben was posting invitations for the wedding. He had already posted a few at Avengers Mansion. He had even travelled to Hell's Kitchen to invite Matt Murdock. Well, the guy was their lawyer. Now he only needed to find out a way to contact Nick Fury. He could always ask Cap to get hold of him. Then there were the X-Men; he had yet to travel to Westchester to invite them. Then of course there was Dr Strange.

Ben chuckled to himself slightly, here he was delivering invitations and he and Selene hadn't even decided on the service yet. Ben was Jewish and Selene was a former devil-worshipping sorceress, God knows what the service would be like.

'Well, there goes most of the Manhattan superhero community.' Ben said to himself. 'We sure as Hell don't want the Punisher at the service, unless we want our weddin' day ter turn inter a massacre or somethin'.'

Ben was about to call it a day when he saw a familiar face nearby.

'Hey Fish-Face, what brings you outta yer bowl?'

'You had best be careful how you address me, Grimm.' Namor the Sub-Mariner replied. 'I am the Monarch of Atlantis!'

'Yeha, yeah, we've all heard it before.' Ben sighed. 'Say, you heard the good news? Me an' Selene're getting' married.'

'What?'

'Are yer ears getting' clogged up with sea salt or somethin'?' Be asked. 'I said that me an' Selene're getting' married.'

'I heard what you said, Grimm.' Namor replied angrily. 'And I thought I told you that Selene was going to be my queen!'

'Yeah right, like the Black Queen's gonna lower herself ter do it with an overgrown fish.'

'Well she certainly lowered herself to be seen with you.' Namor snorted.

'Oh, that wuz below the belt.' Ben growled. 'I know I ain't said this fer ages but… It's Clobberin' Time!'

Ben slugged Namor in the face, sending him crashing through a shop window.

'Well that's the end of that chapter.' Ben snickered as he dusted off his hands.

'Treacherous wretch! You shall pay for that effrontery! Stand and face my wrath!'

Ben rolled his eyes and turned to face an irate Namor.

'Do we really have ter do this? I gotta go meet my fiancée at Bloomie's ter help pick out a dress.'

Namor just snarled and flew at Ben, sending him smashing through an idle milk truck.

'How dare you lay your filthy hand on me whelp?' Namor snarled.

'Oh great.' Ben sighed. 'I go deliver invitations fer my weddin' and end up getting' in a brawl with Sammy the Fish-Boy. At least it ain't the Hulk.'

Bloomingdale's-

Selene and the others were perusing the lingerie aisle. Val picked up a skimpy garter and brandished it above her head.

'Hey Mom, 'd'you think this'll suit me?'

'If you want to look like a streetwalker, yes.' Sue replied. 'Now put that down, no daughter of mine is going to dress like a slut.'

'It's not slutty it's…'

'Disgustingly promiscuous?' August snickered. 'Ooh, see-through bras!'

'Have you thought about the colour scheme yet?' Amara asked. 'No offence but I kind of doubt that you'll be wearing white.'

'And you'd be right.' Selene replied. 'I was kind of thinking of a nice cream coloured dress, it would set off my complexion wonderfully.'

'What about the bridesmaids' dresses?' Rachel asked. 'I hope it's not purple because it makes me look fat.'

'I was thinking of pink for the bridesmaids' dresses.' Selene replied.

August, Amara and Rachel all fixed Selene with identical stares of horror.

'Please tell me you're joking.' August said.

'Like it put any of you through the indignity of that.' Selene snickered. 'The flower girl will be wearing pink. Oh Val…'

'Not if you paid me a million dollars.' Val replied, not even looking up form her position in front of a stand of panties, testing their elastic and catapulting them about the store.

'Ah Alicia, before I almost forget.' Selene said. 'I'd like to commission you to make a statue of me. I'll pay you handsomely for it.'

'Oh I wouldn't dream of charging you for it.' Alicia replied. 'Just think of it as being your wedding present from me.'

'Not even if I pay you for the sculpting supplies?' Selene asked.

'Not a chance.' Alicia replied.

'Guys, did you feel that?' Amara asked as she tried to steady herself against a corset display.

'Feel what, 'Mara?' Rachel replied.

'There's something going on a few blocks away.' The young Nova Roman replied. 'I can sense the seismic vibrations.'

'Oh God, it's Ben!' Sue said. 'I knew I couldn't leave him alone for one second!'

'Finger crossed it's not the Hulk, huh?' Val snickered.

Sue conjured up an invisible force bubble and carried everybody out of the shop.

Back with Ben and Namor-

The brawl between Ben and Namor was in full swing as the combatants continued to trade punches and throw each other through things. The general public had long ago fled in fear of being crushed by falling debris or a misjudged car thrown by one of the combatants.

Sue landed the invisible bubble and rolled her eyes at the sight of the two super-powered adults acting like a pair of stags batting antlers.

'Okay then guys, time out!' Sue said as she separated them with an invisible wall. 'Why don't we calm down like normal rational adults?'

'He started it.' Namor said, pointing at Ben.

'Oh grow up Namor.' Sue sighed. 'You should know better than to come waltzing into Manhattan and starting a fight with Ben.'

'I merely wished to show my obvious superiority over Grimm.' Namor replied.

'Yeha, like that's ever gonna happen.' Ben snorted.

'Ben, shut up.' Sue hissed. 'Now Namor, not to sound mean or anything but… Selene wouldn't marry you if you were the last King of Atlantis in the World!'

'Umm Mom, he is the last King of Atlantis.' Val added.

'Not helping.' Sue replied. 'Now, will you to stop fighting and start acting like mature adults?'

'Yes Sue.' Ben muttered.

'At once Susan.' Namor added.

'Very well.' Sue nodded as she let down the invisible wall. 'Now, I want you two shake each other's hands and apologise.

'Aww Sue…' Ben pouted.

'Do it!' Sue commanded.

Ben and Namor both begrudgingly held out their hands and shook them.

'Sorry.' Ben muttered.

'I apologise.' Namor replied, equally nonchalant.

'Jackass.' Ben muttered.

'Whelp.' Namor hissed.

'I heard that!' Sue said. 'Don't make me come over there!'

TBC…

Next: Unwelcome Visitors

Selene gets paid a visit by one of her victims back when she was Black Queen. You can bet that he won't be happy to find out that she's back form the dead.