I finally got this chapter done, wooo! For some reason this month feels like it's lasting forever even though it's the shortest month of the year lol. I feel like I'm doing a lot better but for some reason writing has still been a little tough. I will probably try and do some prompt requests going soon to try and get my creative juices pumping or something haha. Anyway, hope you enjoy!
Good Enough
Hiyori was beyond impatient as she waited for her class to be over; the clock hand seemed to never move despite how much she looked up at it. Tapping her foot against the floor and biting her lip, she tried her best to continue to take notes but she could tell her mind was just beyond hope at this point.
She'd been over eager to see Yato again ever since she had picked up something for him at the mall. It wasn't much to brag about by any means, but she was still so excited about it that she nearly told him over Twitter the few times he had managed to get online despite the fact she intended it to be a surprise. By the time her professor announced class was finally over, she practically jumped out of her seat and out the door.
This time she rushed past most of her classmates, calling out his name loudly as she made her way to the front lobby, "Yato!" Several people turned their heads to look at her, but Yato looked the most surprised of all as he lifted his head to look up from his computer. She lowered her head a bit, a little bit embarrassed from her obvious excitement, but her focus stayed on him.
Blinking, he answered, "Hey, Hiyori." After putting away his laptop and standing up, he commented in an amused tone, "You definitely seem to be doing better today."
"Ah," She nodded and smiled widely, "Yeah, I am."
"Good!" He grinned back at her before starting to move forward, Hiyori matching his stride. "So did you end up doing much other than going to see a movie?"
Hiyori nodded in response, "We did end up going to the mall as well, but other than that, I spent a lot of time relaxing."
He continued to look forward as he listened, "Oh? That's good."
"So, um," She started to reach into her bag hesitantly, "I kind of got you something while we were there."
Yato's head whipped in her direction, an eyebrow raised as he looked down at her, "Wha?"
"It's just something small." She quickly answered before she withdrew her hand from her purse and opened up her palm, holding out a plush keychain of a Capyper with a crown. Her cheeks already warming, she continued, "Since you were taking the time to thank me Friday night, I wanted to thank you for going out of your way to do so much for me, too. So…"
He took it gingerly, but by the time she looked up he was already looking away, equally embarrassed as he mumbled, "Yukine told you."
"I remember from when we were kids, too, you know." She answered, though she didn't deny his accusation. Letting her hand fall back to her side, she added, "Everyone has something like that. For me, it's Touno-sama, which you know. Another example is Yama-chan and that band she likes… I think it's The Hundred Archfiends?"
"I guess so." He blinked, his words still barely audible.
Letting out a little sigh, Hiyori gave a smile, "Besides, it's sweet. Capyper Land is all about making happy memories and dreams coming true, so it's a great thing to admire. Much better than the senseless violence that I enjoy." She finished with a grin.
Yato's eyes finally flickered over to hers, "I don't really get it, but I know you take away a lot more from it than just senseless violence. Otherwise you wouldn't admire that guy so much."
"A lot of people don't get it, but that's fine." She smoothed out her skirt, "And you're right, but I was just trying to make a joke. It's nothing you need to be embarrassed about was what I was really trying to say. At least not around me of all people; the closet martial arts fan."
"Right. Thanks." He answered quietly, slipping his backpack off of one shoulder and twisting it around so that he could put the keychain safely into one of the pockets before sliding the strap back over his shoulder.
Taking a breath, Hiyori admitted, "Sorry, I didn't mean to give it to you out of nowhere like that. I planned to thank you more formally, but since the subject came up, I just sort of blurted it out."
He quickly shook his head, "No, no. More casual is fine. I prefer that, actually."
"Well, um. Thank you again, for going out of your way to walk with me to and from your apartment and also for inviting me to go with you and Yukine-kun on Friday." She stared down at her feet this time, feeling unsure.
"You don't—" Yato went to interrupt her but she immediately looked up to correct him. Sighing and scratching the back of his head, he answered, "You're welcome."
The rest of the walk was relatively quiet minus a few more sentences of small talk and Hiyori's heart sank into her chest, thinking she had maybe overstepped her boundaries once again.
It wasn't nearly as awkward as it had been when she had told him she was hoping they could go on a date, but it was far from the easy flowing conversations that were the usual between them. As he held the door open for her, she almost felt to the point of tears. It seemed like her feelings were only making things worse as time went on.
But as soon as the front door was shut, his hands were lightly grasping her arms and her lips parted in surprise.
"Hiyori, I don't…" His head hung low and she felt him grip her a little more tightly for a split second before he eased the tension in his hands again, "I've been trying so hard to avoid this, and you…" His voice trailed off, quiet and weak.
Her throat grew unbearably tight and she squeaked, "I-I'm sorry. I'm so—" She really had crossed the line this time.
"What do you even see in someone like me?" She could feel his hands trembling and his voice quivered, "I don't understand."
"W-what?" The word barely passed her lips.
His eyes looked upward for a split second but he quickly looked back down, "Even if I'm trying my hardest to get my shit together now, we—we're still really different, you know? You've got a lot going for you and being involved with me would only bring you down. I—I really wanna be the person that you think you see in me, but—"
Everything started snapping into place as she listened to him, her voice shaking too as she asked, "You still think about what my mom said to you?"
He exhaled sharply and finally held her glance, "It wasn't just her, it was everyone; my dad, foster parents, teachers, other kids growing up. There's been plenty of times where I've been told I was worthless or that I'd never accomplish anything. Part of the reason why I try so hard is to prove all of them wrong, but—there's been plenty of times where I did believe it. And sometimes I still wonder..." His hands slipped from her shoulders and back down to his sides.
"Yato," She interjected, struggling to raise her voice, "Look at what you have accomplished, and you did a lot of it all on your own. Me—most opportunities that I've had, I've had because of my parents. I've done some things on my own, yes, but even that was a lot easier for me because of my situation." Taking a breath and pausing to collect her thoughts, she continued, "I know I only know a small part of what you went through growing up, but the fact that you managed to overcome all of that is incredible. On top of that, you took in Yukine-kun. A lot of middle aged adults aren't even willing to do such a thing and you did it at what, nineteen? I know Kofuku-san and Daikoku-san helped you, but still. You made that decision on your own and you work extremely hard for the both of you every single day. How could you not be proud of all of that?" She stepped forward, leaving little space between them as she looked up at him.
"I—" He swallowed and looked down again, "I am, but… Ugh, I don't know, Hiyori. Despite how hard I work, I still barely make ends meet. And between school and work, it's not like I'd ever be able to really take you anywhere. I just—don't think I can give you what you deserve."
She reached up to cup his cheek and his eyes lifted to look at her as she said seriously, "Don't worry about things like that. That's not what I want. I just…" She exhaled, her voice quiet and her face warming, "Want to be with you more."
Yato stared at her for a moment before he finally relaxed against her palm, questioning in disbelief, "That's it?"
She nodded and gave a tiny smile, "Yeah, that's it. That's all I want."
"Hiyori," He exhaled deeply before his lips finally curled upward as well, his eyes closing, "I don't think I have it in me to say no to you anymore."
She stayed quiet and unmoving, watching him carefully until he finally opened his eyes again.
He reached up with both of his hands to gently lower hers from his face, though he kept one of his over hers as their arms fell. His hands were still trembling and his palms were somewhat moist, but her eyes were glued to his. His hand gripped hers a little tighter as he struggled to get his question out, "Can I… kiss you?"
Hiyori's lips parted but no sound came out, so she went with a small nod. He reached up with his free hand to brush some of her hair behind her shoulder, the back of his hand skimming her cheek. At that, her eyes fell shut and she tried her hardest to remember to breathe.
"It's, uh… kind of been a while, so," She could feel his breath on her cheek, probably only a few inches away, "Sorry if this is bad…"
She gave a small laugh in response, "It's not like I can't say the same."
"Then I guess at least we're even." He joked in return and she hummed before she heard him shift.
His lips were soft and warm as he met hers and she made a small noise in surprise, causing him to pull away. "S-sorry." He mumbled.
She blinked her eyes momentarily, looking at him, "It's okay, sorry. Let's, um, try that again." She hung onto his shoulder as she initiated this kiss. She was clumsy and uncertain, but he didn't seem to mind in the slightest. Her heart fluttered as he returned her affection, slow and gentle. The kiss didn't last long but when they pulled away she felt lightheaded and breathless. As he let go of her hand, she moved forward to wrap her arms around his middle tightly, her face resting against his shoulder.
Yato tensed initially but moved his arms around her in a light embrace. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Hiyori listening to the sound of him breathing and in disbelief of how the situation had completely flipped from just a few minutes ago.
"Ah, um." He shifted and gave an awkward smile as she took a step back from him, looking up curiously, "Yukine should be home soon, so…" He nodded his head towards the hallway.
"R-right." She felt her face flush once again, immediately working to slip off her shoes. After stepping up onto the raised floor, she waited for Yato before they both walked into the living room together. Sitting down and pulling out their books to start on homework, she tried her best to make small talk, "I guess it'll be time to try out your kotatsu soon to see how well it does."
He blinked and glanced at her, humming, "Yeah, I guess so." Another moment of awkward silence passed by before he shifted uncomfortably in his seat and cleared his throat, "Want some water?"
Hiyori looked up at him and answered sheepishly, "Sure."
Once he'd returned to the table with their glasses, they both used sipping on the water as an excuse to not talk alongside being busy with their homework. When Yukine finally came in through the front door, he sounded confused as he called out, "Uhh, anyone here? I'm home!"
"Welcome back." Yato answered loudly before Yukine rounded the corner and padded softly into the living room, his backback hanging loosely from his right arm.
An eyebrow raised, he asked, "Why are you guys so quiet today?"
"Just working on stuff." The older boy answered automatically, his focus returning back to his notebook.
Trying her best to hide how lightheaded and flushed she was feeling, she asked curiously, "How was school, Yukine-kun?"
"I dunno. Fine, I guess." He sat across from her, dropping his backpack on the floor before taking a seat, "Kinda boring today, was pretty easy stuff."
"Well, that's good. It's always good to have a decent amount of material you're really confident with." She nodded along, flipping through her material for Yukine before a few papers slid out of her grasp. She made a small squeak and flailed as she tried to catch the papers from falling, though most ended up falling to the floor anyway. She looked back up to see Yukine looking at her with a raised eyebrow, though he stayed silent.
Not long into the lesson, however, his annoyance finally got the better of him, "What's going on? You're both acting really weird." He dropped his pencil to the table, staring expectantly between the two.
Her eyes darted to Yato's, searching his expression for what she should say if anything.
Noticing Hiyori's intense focus on him, Yukine also took that as a cue to stare solely at Yato as well.
With wide eyes, his only answer for Hiyori and Yukine was, "Uhhh….." He reached for his glass of water and chugged a large amount, taking his sweet time.
Everything falling into place, Yukine concluded, "Ah, okay. Soooooo, are you finally gonna date now?"
Yato nearly spit out his water and when Yukine looked at her, she answered with wide eyes and a shrug, looking again to Yato.
"Maaaaay…beeee?" He dragged out the word in an unsure fashion, looking back at Hiyori as if he almost expected her to throw something at him if he answered wrong.
Feeling both of their eyes on her, she squirmed, "Er, um." Giving up on words, she just nodded.
While Yato grinned widely, Yukine let out a loud grown and got up from the table and announced, "I'm gonna have to take a short break before we get back to work , Hiyori. That was probably the most goddamn awkward thing I've ever experienced." He brushed off the sleeves of his school uniform as he walked into the kitchen, "You're both ridiculous."
"Sorry." She answered quietly, but her smile was quickly growing as well.