Chapter 14: Breaking Points
Cuddy woke up the next morning to see Rachel peacefully sleeping. There were no tears or signs of stress upon the little girl's face. It pained her though, to have to double check to make sure that Rachel was okay, to have to get in the routine of calming her down when she would wake up. The once always happy child was now going to have nightmares that would follow her.
Right now though, Cuddy chose to be happy. She was happy with the fact that Rachel had gotten home, and that she was now safe. Right now, to her, that was all there was. That was when she remembered, House. The man who had saved her daughter, and was now lying in a hospital bed.
As carefully as she could, as to not disturb Rachel, Cuddy turned over and reached for her phone on the night stand. One new message. As opened and read it, she slowly sat up, taking the very words she read. "Oh shit," Cuddy whispered as she stood up and hurried out of the room. She had to call Wilson and make sure that what she was learning was still true.
"Wilson?" Cuddy asked.
"Yeah. Cuddy?" Wilson responded as he sat up. Last night, after hearing about House's condition, he decided to just fall asleep on the couch in his office. There was no use for him to go home for a few hours and then wake up and come right back to work.
"What do you mean?" Cuddy demanded. She was close to tears, but she didn't want to let on just yet. It was silly to fall apart over something that you weren't sure of.
Wilson sighed. Last night, he had told himself that when he woke up he was going to think of a way to explain this to her. Plan out his words so that it didn't sound so bad. He however, didn't get to call her, she called him at a point where he was just waking up, still trying to remember where he was at the moment. It made no difference though. She was a doctor too. Anything he said, she was going to be able to go through and see what he meant. There was no way to candy coat what was going on. "The blood started leaking into the walls of the heart. They were trying to fix it, but something went wrong and the problem started getting worse. They're going to try and fix it again today, but it doesn't look so good."
"What are they doing right now?" Cuddy questioned.
"They stitched it up well enough to keep too much blood from getting in there while they figure something out," Wilson explained.
"Great," Cuddy remarked. She was putting on a front by being sarcastic, but really the tears were already flooding her eyes.
Wilson could sense what she was doing. The last thing he wanted her to do was to have something else to worry about. Her daughter needed her right now, and he knew that. "Look, I doubt that it will come down to needing a transplant. At most they might just take a couple of surgeries," he said, trying to give her some hope.
This was all hard for her to comprehend right now. The man that she has seen risk his life time and time again doing stupid things that should have killed him, was now helpless in a hospital bed over one good thing that he has done. There were times where he had done dangerous things to figure out cases, but then there were times where he had used experimantal drugs, over dosed on the vicodin. All those things, he lived through.
It all confused her more than anything. Jeff was going to live, he was going to be in jail, but he was going to get to live, while House was shot and now has no guarantee of seeing next week. Sure, he would be put on the transplant list, but what were the odds of him getting one in time? He was a middle aged drug abuser.
"All right. Thanks for letting me know," Cuddy flatly said as she brushed her hand through her hair.
"I'll keep you updated," Wilson stated, hoping that he could soon give her better news.
"Thanks," Cuddy responded.
Wilson said bye to her and then waited a moment until he had heard the line go dead before hanging up. He tossed his phone to the side of him on the couch and then put his elbows on his knees and rested his head in his hands. It was going to be a long next few days.
After a few minutes of sitting there in the silence, he lifted his head and looked over to House's office. "You'd better pull through," he sighed.
Cuddy just stared at the phone down in her hand. It took a few moments, but it all suddenly hit her. The phone dropped to the ground as her tears went from a few to a steady stream down her face. Her body collapsed to the floor and she let herself go.
The minute that Rachel got up, she would have to pull herself back together. This was the only time she had to allow her emotions to show themselves.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Rachel woke up and looked around. The first thing she noticed was that she was alone. "Mommy?" Rachel called out.
Not getting a response, Rachel got up and walked out of the room. She stopped in the doorway to the living room as soon as she spotted Cuddy. She saw her pacing the floor. Her eyes cold and distant. They almost made her want to turn and leave for a while until Cuddy came and got her.
Cuddy turned and noticed Rachel. "Hey. Get enough sleep?" Cuddy asked, trying to sound somewhat cheerful. Right now, Rachel did not need to be worried about House. She knew that last night she felt bad, so this was not something that she needed to hear right now.
"Yeah," Rachel replied. Perplexed, the young girl cautiously made her way further into the living room. The entire time she kept her eyes on her mother. There was something wrong, and she wanted to know what it was. "Something wrong?" she finally questioned, hoping that she would get an honest answer.
"No," Cuddy lied.
"Oh," Rachel nodded and let the lie go. She knew that she would hear the truth sooner or later.
"You want anything for breakfast?" Cuddy implored, trying to change the subject.
"Not yet," Rachel casually answered.
"Are you sure?" Cuddy asked.
Rachel nervously looked to Cuddy. "Are you sure that everything's okay?" Rachel began to beg. There were a lot of things going through her mind at the moment. It could either have something to do with Jeff or House.
Cuddy sighed. She had to tell her before Rachel had a heart attack. "I guess I'd better tell you sooner or later," Cuddy admitted. She went over to the couch and sat down. "Come here," Cuddy insisted as she pat the seat next to her.
"What is it?" Rachel asked as she went over and joined her.
Cuddy hesitated a moment. She had to find the best way to explain this to a ten year old. "When House was shot yesterday, it hit part of his heart. Last night during the surgery to try and fix it, there were some problems. The angel that it hit it at and the damage that was done just made it a hard thing to fix. They're going to have to try again a couple of times," Cuddy explained.
"Is he gonna be okay?" Rachel inquired.
"I wish I could answer that," Cuddy stated. She watched as Rachel went from nervous to sad within seconds.
"He's not gonna die is he?" Rachel reluctantly questioned.
Cuddy again took a moment to think. "There is a small chance that he will, but, I don't think," Cuddy tried to explain, but was cut off.
"But, he could?" Rachel almost demanded to know.
Cuddy was some what taken aback by Rachel's response. She had never seen her act that way before, ever. "Yes," she answered.
A stillness over took the room. Cuddy watched as Rachel sat there and went through everything that she had jsut heard. At that moment, she would have given anythign to be able to know what was going in that girl's head. The look of worry and sadness on her face mixed with the concentraction.
At that moment, she realized something. The little girl that she had lost a few days ago had grown up a bit. She was never going to be the same little girl. It didn't surprise her, any one would be a bit more mature after going through what she had. At a young age, she had learned that the world could be bad, that not everyone was nice to you.
"Can we go see him?" Rachel pleaded as she looked up to Cuddy.
"In a little bit. I don't even know if he's awake right now," Cuddy answered.
"Okay. I'll go get ready," Rachel stated as she stood up.
Cuddy just sat there and watched her go off towards her room. As soon as she was out of sight, Cuddy leaned her head back and closed her eyes.