Chapter Fourteen-Regret

'Welcome my friend.' Lucius Malfoy said as Severus stepped out of the floo in his study.

'Lucius.' Snape accepted the greeting.

'Did you find out where the old fool has hidden my traitorous son?'

'I am afraid so, and it's not good news.' Snape said. He waited for Lucius to look at him in question and then muttered 'Legillimens,' catching Lucius by surprise and as he had expected, Lucius had not put up the new spell against legilemency. Doubtless, the man was confident about his occlumency abilities, but even his shields couldn't hold against Snape's relentless prodding. The potion's master dug through the mind of his 'friend' until he came to the moment Draco was born, he remembered that because he had been the one to assist Narcissa in the birth.

Nothing untoward happened for the first three months, and then he watched with horrifying slowness as Lucius cast the cruciatus curse on a three months old Draco who had been crying. He saw it happen again when Draco would not stop crying because of a teething fever, and then it became frequent after that. Severus saw Draco learn never to cry. Saw the child who always looked at him with hope in his eyes every time he visited the manor house. He saw Draco grow up suppressed by the filial bond, and he saw what happened the previous summer, and he vomited horribly on the antique rug that covered the study.

Tears were streaming down his face by the time he removed himself from Lucius' memory, and when he finally looked up, he saw that Lucius was unconscious from having his mind invaded for such a length of time. Severus vanished his sick and obliviated Lucius to forget that this incident had happened before placing him back in his chair and enervating him.

'I will be going now old friend, but I should be back soon.' Severus said, and Lucius looked confused for a few minutes before he waved his friend off, completely oblivious to what had happened.

Instead of heading back to his house in Spinners End, he went back to Grimmauld place and took a seat in the library. He did not notice when the tears began again as a silent anguish he could not banish engrossed him. He had not known anything, and yet he had acted like he did and now he could feel it in his bones that it was too late. Until that moment, he had not understood the responsibility that came with loving someone. He had never doubted that he loved his godson and that his godson loved him, but he had not taken care of that love. He had let his responsibility to the world distract him from the responsibility he had to Draco. Draco had had no one, and yet he had abandoned him for a world that had countless saviours.

'Severus….,' someone was shaking him, and he finally returned to himself to see Bill Weasley staring at him with a concerned look in his eyes. 'Are you okay?'

'Yes, I am fine.' Severus said and hurriedly wiped the wetness from his eyes. Bill looked at the man wondering what could drive Severus to tears, but he did not ask. Instead, he took the seat opposite the man. They did not speak for a very long time until the curtain-haired man broke the silence.

'What do you do when you realise that you have failed to protect the most important thing in the world because you were too arrogant? What do you do when you are confronted with your failure, and there is no defense for your blindness? What do you do when you realise too late that you cared when you have already lost what you cared for?' He asked. Severus had never been one to talk about his problems but never in his life had he been confronted with such problems.

'What is it you are referring to Severus?' Bill asked.

'I thought Draco was going through a phase, and he would eventually come around, but I now know that he was completely serious, I have lost him, and there is no one to blame but myself.'

'How do you know this?' Bill inquired. He was curious about his employer, but he had endeavoured never to cross lines while their friendship was so new.

'Draco said some things to me this evening, and I wanted to understand, so I went to Malfoy Manor and used legilimency on Lucius.' Snape said with a hollow voice. Normally he would have never answered such a private inquiry, but he was so overwhelmed he couldn't help but want someone to help him with the situation. 'I don't think there is anything I can say to him that could make up for what has happened and even if there was, I don't think I deserve that forgiveness.' The potions master laughed bitterly. 'When it was clear that Harry's mate was Draco, I apologized to Harry that he had to marry my godson, Draco overheard us back then.' Bill gasped. 'Now I know that none of us are good enough for him, and yet he is already stuck with us. Poor boy.' Severus stood up; he needed to go home and think about everything he had found out with a calm mind.

Harry saw Severus stand up and quickly ran back to his room. He had been unable to sleep, and he had decided to go to the kitchen for a cup of milk when he noticed that there was light in the library. He had thought that some order members had come at night for some reason, only to be shocked when he heard what Severus was saying to Bill and decided to hide and listen.

His brain was working on overdrive and yet he couldn't come up with an explanation for why Severus had said what he had. Malfoy was a spoiled git, that much was true, but something big must have happened for the potions' master to be affected as he was. Although Harry was dying to know, he didn't think Snape was going to tell him, and he wasn't a master in legilimency nor did he have access to Lucius Malfoy's brain like Snape did. Deciding to think about it later, he put the entire incident at the back of his mind and went back to bed, feeling sleepy. Harry was sure everything would come to light eventually, and as Malfoy had said, he had no obligation or right to know anything about him. That thought did not sit well with him, but he ignored the little voice that nagged him to take this seriously and went back to sleep, happily ignorant of the demons that Snape had uncovered and which prevented the dour man from finding sleep that night.

To be continued…..

Author's Note: Hello everyone. Today's chapter was pretty short but I did not want to put a lot into it. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for all the reviews, favourites, and follows.

Please review some more and let me know what you think. Otherwise, expect chapter fifteen next week on Thursday. Until then, keep safe.