*As always credit goes to Stephenie Meyer for her original characters.

** This chapter is dark and could be triggering to anyone who has suffered major depression/suicidal thoughts.

"Jasper's right. I think I need to go get my ribs looked at." I tried to divert him as his face turned beat red and his hands balled up into fists. It worked for the moment and soon we were in his car, headed towards the hospital again.

Thankfully my ribs weren't re-cracked, just badly bruised. However when the attending doctor asked what happened and I gave him a brief rundown, he insisted on calling my father to let him know why I was at the hospital.

Charlie was about as happy as Edward when he heard what had happened.

Edward's POV

"So… how are you doing Son?" Carlisle's voice asked from across the room but I deliberately ignored the question and simply scowled in his direction. I had been asked the same thing nearly every day by almost everyone in the family.

"Have you given any thought as to what your plans are for next fall?" He tried again and I gave in, putting down the book I had been pretending to read and looking up at him. It would do me no good to ignore him, my father obviously had things that he wished to discuss with me and I owed him the simple courtesy of at least answering him.

"I've thought about it," I began and shook my head before continuing. "I'm not sure at this point of Bella's plans – we haven't spoken about much in relation to our future together. I would like to continue myself as planned with the pre-med program. I do want to sit down with Bella at some point though and see if and how her plans have changed at all for school." I explained slowly and Carlisle nodded his head.

I didn't explain it to Carlisle, but my future almost seemed more important to me now than it had before. I was starting to see more of the direction that I wanted to head and I knew that even though it was going to be incredibly hard, it would be worth it in the long run.

"You know that I'm proud of you, right Edward?" Carlisle's words drew me from my thoughts and I looked up at him questioningly, not quite sure how to take them. Shaking my head I wondered if he was going to elaborate as he sat thoughtfully in his chair, his endless calm and patience starting to get to me.

"I don't deserve your pride," I sighed lightly and shook my head sadly at the truth that I now accepted. The words I spoke were truth; they went much deeper when I thought of how undeserving I was of their patience and understanding, their pride and their forgiveness.

"Edward," Carlisle began ever patiently and I closed my eyes. "Your mother and I are both extremely proud of you." He continued and I tried not to interrupt him with my negative self-talk. "Despite the poor decisions that you have made in the past, you continue to grow and mature every single day, dealing with things that nobody should have to deal with. So despite the way you may feel about yourself, we just want you to know that we love you and that we will continue to support you." He stated simply and I nodded my head in thanks.

"Thank you… it means a lot to me that you and Mom have so much faith in me. I don't know where I would be if you both hadn't stepped into my life and taken me in when you did." It wasn't often that I found myself thinking about that time before I had come to live here as a Cullen, but with everything that had happened recently it was a thought that seemed to play in my mind on repeat.

"This is your home…"

"Dad… Edward?" Alice's shrill voice called from the foyer and I looked towards the door as she entered, a fair sized box in her hands, Jasper trailing quietly after her.

"What is it Alice?" Carlisle asked as she bounced further into the room, a worried look crossing her face as she set it down on the coffee table.

"An old guy in a pickup truck was leaving this on the porch as we pulled in," she said quickly, eying me closely as she gestured to the label across the top, a single name scrawled messily across in permanent marker.

Edward Masen

Seeing the same thing that I did, Carlisle held his hands up to stop me from opening the package before looking to Alice and Jasper for answers, "Did you see the man who left this? What was he driving?"

"He was wearing a black hoodie, pulled up over his head… I didn't recognize him at all but he was definitely older." Alice answered and then Jasper cut in, "He was maybe five-ten, stocky build, wearing jeans and a black hoodie. He was driving an older model – early nineties – silver Dodge pickup." Immediately seeing the man and truck as he described them, I tried to place them, to figure out if it was who I thought it was and whether or not I knew him if it wasn't.

"I'm calling Charlie… don't open it." Carlisle instructed as he grabbed his phone out of his pocket and began dialling as I stared down at the box, wondering what the hell could possibly be inside. Wondering what it was that he wanted from me.

Thankfully Charlie came right over, and handling the box like it was wired with explosives carefully opened it up. By the time the top flaps were being held open the entire family was there, watching and waiting to see what could possibly be inside.

"Edward?" Carlisle asked and I shook my head lightly, my mouth dry and unable to answer him.

"Are you alright?" he looked worriedly at my face and I jerked my head up and down in a nod. It was an obvious lie, but he didn't need to know that right now.

"I'm going to take the entire box back to the station Edward." Charlie's hand clapped my shoulder and I blinked back the angry tears that were suddenly threatening to fall.

"What the fuck does he want from me?" My voice was hoarse as I scanned the pile of documents in front of me, confused and angry at his intentions, the images from the photographs engraved in my mind. I didn't understand whatever message he was trying to send me; I didn't understand what his intentions were. The stack of photographs were one thing – images of me in various positions, mostly naked, covered in bruises and obviously terrified as a small child were disturbing enough. But the letters that he included with the pictures were far worse. Typed up and bound in a book of sorts were letters dated back from before I had been taken out of his care, directed to me and outlining the abuse in graphic detail. Other letters towards the end were dated more recently, sick and twisted descriptions of his fantasies involving me when I was a child. And even worse, were the most recent ones, the ones where he brought my own child into his fantasies, letting us know in detail that he had been paying attention to what was happening among our family. Talking about Bella's pregnancy as though he had the inside scoop, and making disgusting remarks about what would happen should he get his hands on our child and then the disappointment he felt when he learned of our loss and how his fantasies would not be coming true after all. It was sickening and took every ounce of control I had not to throw up at the thought of it.

"If he sends anything else, contacts you in any way – you make sure you call me right away." Charlie was speaking mostly to Carlisle and Esme now even though he continued to eye me carefully.

"What happens next?" I asked cautiously, snapping back to reality as he stood up and picked up the box of evidence.

"I did a bit of research back when you got the first package Edward, and we know that he is currently out of prison and on parole for a completely unrelated crime. I'm going to be giving his parole officer a call and we'll go from there." He spoke firmly and I nodded my head, suddenly exhausted emotionally. "Don't worry son, we'll get to the bottom of this and this box might even be enough to put him back where he belongs." Charlie said firmly and I nodded absently.

"Keep us updated Charlie." My father spoke up and I sat back down, tuning them all out as Charlie headed for the door with the box of documents in his hands.

"Are you sure you're alright Edward?" Alice's small voice broke the silence in the living room once Charlie was gone and I snapped back to the present moment, trying desperately to erase the images from my head.

"Uh, huh." I nodded absently and ran my hands through my hair again.

This was ridiculous. I couldn't keep sitting there with everybody knowing what had just happened, even without everyone seeing the photographs – they knew what was contained.

"I'm going for a run." I decided hastily and stood up before anyone could argue with me, disappearing upstairs and to my room to change into sweats.

Just as I was about to hit the playlist on my phone I jumped in surprise when it started to go off, Bella's ringtone immediately identifying the caller.

For the first time, I didn't answer her call, and instead I finished tying my shoes and bolted down the stairs and out the front door.

I tried not to think of the box during the next several days; focusing instead on my final days of exams and the graduation ceremony that I had absolutely no interest in attending. But as much as I tried my hardest not to think about it, it managed to keep in the back of my head, rearing up through nightmares and flashbacks, popping in at any time day or night.

But despite the thoughts and the memories, the days flew by. I was ready to be done with Forks high and move into the next stage of my life, and I hoped that Bella felt the same… despite the fact that I hadn't been able to speak to her for more than a few minutes here and there, our schedules clashing constantly as the year came to a close. The few times we had spoken it was tense, with the stress of finals and work and the general effort of our relationship, our grief keeping things short.

Before I knew it graduation night had arrived – our exams were finished and it was time to celebrate the past four years of our lives. Glancing beside me I groaned at the time, the little red numbers glaring at me and reminding me that I needed to get ready for the ceremony. Contemplating standing up, my eyes shifted to the picture on my nightstand, one of the only things I had to remind me of my mother – a picture with me sitting on her lap as a toddler, both of us smiling and happy – despite the purple bruising on the shadows covering her face.

I didn't move for several minutes, my mind conjuring up the memories of her and I before she got sick, before the untreated pneumonia that killed her when I was still small. Life wasn't perfect then. It never had been, but she loved me and I knew that she would do anything to protect me; it was often the reason that she herself took on my father's abuse, locking me in closets and sending me to friends' houses to avoid his rage against me.

"Are you almost ready Edward?" I heard Alice's voice as she knocked lightly on my door, pressing it open and peering into my room. She had been busy all morning, flitting around the house and decorating for the graduation party that she had been planning for months, since well before everything had happened with Bella and I. Pulling my face from the photograph and trying to shut down the torrent of memories that was still assaulting me I smiled at her, nodding my head at the suit that I had laid out on the end of the bed. I was nowhere near ready, but I knew it wouldn't take me long. I had no actual interest in attending the ceremony, simply appeasing my family with their request that I participate, for their sake.

"I'll be ready to leave in 10 minutes." I told her as she scowled at me, her eyes flashing angrily as she realised I wasn't even dressed yet.

As she huffed and stormed out of the room I felt my phone vibrate from the bed beside me, the light flashing green and signalling a text message. Picking up the device I scrolled to my messages, seeing Bella's name at the top of the list and reading her message immediately, sighing at her obvious distress.

"I know I said I would be there tonight, but I can't do this… I can't face all those people." Rubbing my eyes I contemplated texting her back, but I didn't know what to say. There was no way that I would force her to come to the graduation ceremony or Alice's party if she felt she wasn't ready, but I also didn't want her to be afraid to live, to see people and to stand up and be as strong as I knew she was.

"I can't keep pretending to be this strong; I can't keep celebrating life… I can't go on like this." The second text was sent before I had typed out any reply and I made my decision then, I wouldn't leave her alone tonight, it was obvious that she was not in a good place right now.

"I'm not driving to the school with you guys." I informed my sister just a few minutes later as I made my way downstairs, my suit jacket thrown over my arm. "I'm going to go over to Bella's and see if she wants to ride with me and I will meet you guys there." I clarified as Alice analysed my face, tried to understand my sudden change in plans. She must have seen my worry and my determination because she didn't argue, telling me to meet her outside her locker when I arrived at the school. Giving Esme and Carlisle each a quick hug and assuring them that I would be there, I took off in my car, my insides twisted as I felt that something was off… I needed to get to my Bella now.

Pulling into the Swan's driveway I was surprised to see that Charlie's police cruiser was not in the driveway and thought perhaps that he had managed to convince Bella to go to the ceremony after all. Crossing my fingers I opened the door of my own car and got out, not bothering to knock on their door but moving to the side of the house, below Bella's bedroom where I could see her light on, despite the brightness of the afternoon sun.

Making my decision I pulled myself up into the tree, the way I had done hundreds of times through the course of our relationship, not caring about the dirt that would inevitably wind up on my suit.

"Bella?" She didn't seem to hear me as I approached her window, balancing in a crouch on the branch and holding on tightly so I didn't fall.

"Watching her, I couldn't stop the swell of emotions that began to pool up inside me, unable to move at first as I watched her, sitting on her bed dressed in a formal outfit – dress pants and a beautiful blue blouse. Her hair was pulled back from her face and I easily saw the tears that streaked her face, the small picture that she clutched in her hand.

I was about to call out to her again when she suddenly turned, reaching over to her bedside table and picking up the small bottle of pills, unscrewing the cap and then going still. She didn't move to take a pill and I took a moment to look around the room, saw the bed, her cellphone resting beside her, the small razorblade that glinted in the sunlight, the second bottle of pills resting where she had grabbed the first and the bottle of Vodka behind that.

Pushing myself up from the branch I swung myself easily into her room, the noise startling her and causing her to jump, dropping the pills to the floor.

"Edward?" She whispered hoarsely but I didn't answer her, the anger nearly suffocating as I reached beyond her, scooping up the various items within sight – the bottles, the pills, the razorblade.

"Edward… I swear… it's not what it looks like…" She stuttered out, tears flowing down her cheeks but I was still angry, whipping around to face her.

"How could you even think about doing this again?" I yelled at her loudly, obviously scaring her as she pulled back on the bed, yanking her knees up to her chest and curling up into them.

"I… I wasn't going to…"

"What the fuck does that mean Bella? You weren't going to try and kill yourself again? You were just going to sit here with all of the tools and contemplate it? Be by yourself? What the fuck… after everything…" The anger was dwindling and I felt my panic, my fear, my desperation begin to seep in as I saw her huddled on her bed, the tears still flowing down her cheeks, her chin. She made no motion to wipe them away and I dropped everything in my hands into her garbage bin, moving to the edge of the bed and slumping down, my head in my hands.

"Please… just leave me alone Edward." She whispered out and I shook my head. That was out of the question. Not happening right now.

"We found you… before…" I whispered back, trying to scrub the image from my mind. It was a different room, different house… but the scenario was too similar.

"I know but you weren't supposed to find me this time…" She whispered in defeat and I shook my head, the anger bubbling back up again.

"So what, Charlie was supposed to find you? Your father? Bella, nobody deserves to find that… Emmett and I found it once already and it is something that I will never ever forget. It is something that will haunt me until the day I die… the image of you in our guest room, your wrists sliced wide open and the pool of blood on the bed beside you is something that is forever ingrained in my mind." I told her softly, reaching out and grabbing her wrist, tracing the vertical scar up from her hand nearly to her elbow.

"I can't keep going… I'm trying… but I can't do it…" She replied between sobs, yanking her arm back from me and burying her face against her knees.

Closing my eyes I swallowed thickly, trying to hold back my own tears as I let her cry – unable to go to her and comfort her, aware that it might only make things worse.

"I know what you feel like." I stated quietly, aware that she may lash out for my sentence but unwilling to let her change my mind. "I've had days where I contemplated ending everything as well. I've thought it over and I nearly admitted myself to the hospital… I lost you and our baby, I lost respect from my family, and I have a psychopathic father that is apparently stocking me. I wish that things had turned out differently, that I could turn back the clock and disappear. But I also know that I couldn't do that to you or my family, I know that I have to keep going, somehow find something that I can use to help me through this fucked up life. Some days it's hard as hell just to get out of bed in the mornings and there are days where I have asked God why he just doesn't take me right now. So yes… at least on some level, I can understand a bit of what you feel like right now.

"I should have died in that accident… I wish I had." She mouthed almost petulantly and I sighed, my eyes burning with the tears, with the thought of what she was saying.

"But you lived Bella… you lived for a reason, despite the odds…"

"I wish I hadn't!" She said louder this time, pulling her legs down and climbing past me, to stand up and begin pacing the room.

"You may know what it's like Edward to have the thought of a child crushed from your hopes and your dreams… but you don't know what it was like to have that child within you, growing and safe and protected – and then gone. Dead. And not just one dead child – but two. Both of my children are dead." She screamed at me and I hung my head, sitting there and waiting for her to get it all out.

"You have no idea what it was like being raped nearly every single day for almost a full year, while everyone else sat by and ignored your silent pleas for help…"

"Bella… you had better stop right now." I warned her quietly, feeling the bile in the back of my throat, the anger because yes… I did actually know what that was like.

"And then to have the one person in your life you trusted beyond a doubt betray you when you needed them the most…" She deflated and I felt my tears finally overflow my eyes, trickling down my cheek.

"I can't keep living like this… or at all…" She whispered again and then she was gone, turning and storming down the stairs, banging through the kitchen before I stood up, following her down the stairs and placing my phone to my ear, it was apparent to me that she wasn't going to seek help and I needed to make sure she was safe.

"911 Emergency; Fire, Police or Ambulance?" The operator asked as I stood frozen at the entrance to the kitchen as Bella yanked open the lock box, tossing the key on the counter before she grabbed Charlie's spare weapon, swinging it around and watching me wildly.

"Police and ambulance." I breathed out and saw the flash of anger in her eyes before she spun around hobbling out the back door and moving quicker than I thought she was capable of towards the forest.

Giving the 911 operator a quick rundown of where we were and Bella's state of mind, I went against their advice and followed her into the forest, down the familiar path that wound through the lush greenery, pressing the still active phone in my shirt pocket.

"Bella stop." I called after her as she slowed down, veering off the main trail and tromping through the thick underbrush, the gun swinging in her hands as every so often she turned to hiss at me, telling me to leave her alone.

"I'm not going to let you do this. Too many people love you Bella, and as much as it sucks right now, and life is not easy or fun or even something that seems possible, I know that you have a life worth living. You have so much to offer, despite everything that has happened.

"You don't have a choice Edward. This is my decision." She stopped suddenly, spinning around and raising the gun to the side of her head, her hand on the trigger.

"I'm sorry… I just can't keep…" her finger was putting pressure on the trigger and as I saw the look, the determination in her eyes I didn't waste a second, not even waiting for her to finish her statement as I lunged at her, yanking her arm down and towards me at the same moment that I saw her hand tense, gripping tighter and pulling the trigger. Both of us jumping from the vibration and the noise, I grabbed the gun roughly from her hand, tossing it behind me and reaching for Bella, gripping her tightly in my arms as I looked down, inspecting both of us for any sign of injury aside from the ringing in my ears.

Hearing the sirens close in on the house I held her tightly, feeling her give up the fight and slump into my chest. She was no longer crying, simply shaking in my arms, her eyes squeezed tightly shut.

"We are in the woods behind the house, I've taken control of the situation and neither of us is injured." I spoke shakily, hearing the frantic calls of the 911 operator muffled from my chest. But I didn't move, holding onto Bella, terrified that she would spring back up, ready to try again.

Seconds crawled by before I heard Charlie calling my name, running through the trees with several other sets of footsteps behind him. He wasn't in uniform as he burst into the small clearing where we sat, his eyes darting around cautiously as he called to me loudly, looking for the gun.

"I threw it over there." I assured him, nodding behind me and still not loosening my grip on Bella who was still shaking silently in my arms.

The parking lot was full as I rode to the hospital with Charlie in his cruiser, passing the high school and the crowds of people as they piled into the small gymnasium building, the ceremony nearly ready to begin. Pulling my cellphone back out of my pocket I dialed my mother's number, knowing that she would have her phone on and that she would answer as soon as she saw it was me calling.

"Edward, you promised that you would come tonight." She hissed into the phone as soon as it picked up and I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and finger. I knew that they had wanted me to be there.

"I'm with Charlie… Bella is being taken to the hospital by ambulance." I said quietly, reliving the entire afternoon in my head as I waited for her to say something.

"Is she alright? What happened?" My mother asked and I heard shuffling as she excused herself and then it was quiet again.

"Do you remember after Emily… when Emmett and I found her?" I asked and I heard her sharp intake of breath as she recalled what Bella had done. She didn't answer me right away, she didn't need to.

"I'll call you later on; let you know what's happening." I said quietly as we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, Charlie parking in the designated police parking. "I'm sorry I missed tonight… I really was planning on being there." I sighed deeply, unbuckling my seatbelt and following Charlie out of the car.

"Keep us posted Edward." She said and I nodded silently before thanking her and hanging up, moving indoors behind Charlie who still hadn't said more than a few words to me since finding us in the woods.

I didn't see Bella again that night, though I sat in the waiting room while the nurse and crisis worker came in to speak with her, waiting for updates, for the assurance of her safety. Even when the on-call psychiatrist came out to speak to Charlie, to confirm that she was being admitted to a locked unit, I remained seated in the waiting room, my head in my hands as it hit me how close it had come.

Finally I stood up, not wanting to leave her but knowing that there was nothing else I could do for now. Grabbing my tie from the back of the chair I turned, not surprised to see Esme coming towards me, her eyes knowing as she reached out to wrap her arms around me. Leading me to the car we didn't speak and I was grateful when we reached the house and I disappeared upstairs to my room as soon as I could, as soon as I had given my parents the rundown of what had happened.

It was true, what I had told Bella. I could relate to some of the things she was experiencing – the fear and the exhaustion, the grief and the inability to cope. I was tired. I wasn't sure if I could keep doing this… could continue to help her at a time when I knew that I needed almost as much help myself. All that I knew was that I loved that girl and it was killing me to know what she had tried to do… after everything we had lost… to almost lose her as well…

For now, she was safe. I didn't know what the future held or even how long Bella would be in the hospital or if she hated me for stopping her, but for tonight she was safe. That was all that mattered.