Chapter 12: Family
Seth was up and about all of that night, bragging and boasting to Sam about my proposal. He was excited, happy, overjoyed...and way too hyper. In a way I kind of wished that I had never proposed to him at all. He was excited, of course he was, but the thought of what I had done remained at the pit of my stomach, threatening to push back any and all things that I had eaten. I didn't go to school the next day. I didn't want to be there with Jacob and Renesmee. Not after what happened earlier that day -which I was pretty well bruised down the right side of my face.
I sat at the Kitchen table with a large plate of food in front of me. Sam sat across from me, a newspaper in one hand, a beer in the other. I looked at the clock slightly baffled. Usually Sam never drank beer at 7:20 in the morning -yet again, I'd never seen him drinking beer at all. I took a bite of the omelet that I had whipped up and chased it down with some tea.
"Why did you do that?" Sam questioned, his voice slightly muffled by the beer bottle. I looked up at him innocently and blinked.
"Why did I do what?" I asked. I know what he meant. I knew what he was talking about. He wanted to know why I had proposed and put him through such hell. And he knew I knew.
"Why did you propose to Seth?" he asked, putting the bottle down, looking at the newspaper. I stiffened up defensively, my back perfectly straight.
"Because I love him." I replied. He slammed the bottle on the table, and glared at me.
"Bullshit you love him!" He slammed a finger in my direction, his morning beard making him look even more menacing than usual. "You're just saying that because you're afraid to be alone! You don't have Jacob so you're trying to make him jealous you Succubi!" I stared at him, my heart racing. Standing up, I slammed my fists onto the table, denting the supporting metal frame.
"You don't know anything about me!" I screamed, staring deep into his eyes, my fists covered in blood from slamming them down onto broken glass. He shook his head and laid it in his hands. "Look at you," I scoffed. "How many beers have you had?" I glowered at him. He stood up and smashed his chair away from him.
"It isn't any of our damn business how many beers I've had woman.!" He growled, turning, I made my way for the door. Grabbing my sandal off the rack I slid them on and opened the door. "Get me a beer while you're out please?" He hollered after me before I shut the door. I hesitated, then shut it. It wasn't his fault. He was stressed out, and I would have been depressed if I had sex with me then left without so much as a second thought. Walking off of the porch, I thought about taking one of the cars. Of course, there were only two in the driveway, Sam's "Normal" car and the cruiser. Seth had taken Tj's car to school to give it back to him...of course, he had to explain why the sides were a little dinged up.
I walked down the driveway and took a left towards Forks. I needed to get somewhere so I could think. I wasn't in a major hurry. Slowly, I headed down the sidewalk, recalling that day Nessie and I were talking. I had told her about Jacob and me. I told her how much I loved him, and she took him away anyway? I trudged on. The sky was fairly clear today, gray. It wasn't rainy weather although the ground was wet. The puddles on the sidewalk rippled in the strong wind that blew up in gusts, and fell still once it died away. I crossed my arms, huddling to myself. I wasn't cold, just...was chilled. Reaching up I pulled the hair out of my eyes and hooked it behind my ear. I felt like a teen aged girl, walking away from her drunk father. But that feeling wasn't entirely there. There was more to it than that. It was more than a father, daughter relationship. Much more. Why did I have to think with my passion before I consulted my head?
I cleared the houses and crossed over into no-mans-land between Forks and LA Push. I paused and looked at the woods. I knew that somewhere around here was the path. The path to that little field. The one of no worries. Looking down, I stepped over a puddle and cut through the grass. I could see the dip in the trees, but the path itself was covered up with long grasses and fallen logs. I walked in without hesitance, the cold, wet grass grazing across my skin. It was so fresh here, the scent of fresh dew, the crisp air, but there was something that wasn't supposed to be here, covered up by the smell of the remaining decaying leaves.
Stepping over logs and limbs, I broke free of the woods, the sun glistening on that one restful patch I had come to many times. I stepped out into the sun, allow the warm rays to lick at my flesh. This is what I missed. This feeling. I looked down at my arms, stricken with smeared water. I was supposed to be thirty seven, but I didn't look a day over seventeen. I felt like I was ancient, like I wasn't supposed to be alive.
You aren't supposed to be alive. I snorted. I gasped. It had been such a long time since I heard my other half. I had felt so whole.
"It's you!" I squeaked.
Pffft, nah! It's the Pillsbury Dough boy! Of course it's me dummy! I stared at the grass, my arms dangling by my side.
"I missed your guidance." I whispered.
You missed me? I nodded.
"Did I make the wrong choice?" I questioned, looking at the sparkling of the dew on the blades of the gem green grass.
"Yeah you did." A husky voice sounded behind me. I whirled around, my breath caught in my throat. Jacob stepped out from the shadows, a smile on his face. I shook my head and turned to run away, but a hot hand grabbed my wrist.
"Please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'll never do it again!" I squealed, throwing myself to the ground, taking him with me.
"Whoa! Jesus May! Calm down!" He barked, catching himself before he crushed me. I curled up into a ball, my arms cradled over my head. He grunted and pulled away so that he was sitting next to me. "May...listen, I'm sorry about yesterday." He muttered. I looked at him, my heart racing. I had never felt this much fear from anyone in my entire life. I'd never felt this afraid of him.
"Why are you talking to me?" I questioned, sitting up and pushing away from him. He looked at me confused, then sighed.
"I'm sorry," He muttered, looking off towards the woods. I glared at him, my arms still huddled around myself. He looked over at me, his eyes looking sincere. "I didn't mean to do that to you yesterday." He wheezed a bit. Grabbing my hair I ripped it out of my face, showing him the bruising. He gasped, and clasped my face in his hands. "I am so sorry! I didn't mean it to go that far!" He howled. I pulled away and snarled at him.
"Oh yeah? How far did you want it to go Jake?" I spat. He looked at me with a hurt expression on his face.
"I wanted you to get off of me, but when you finally did get away, I ended up pulling your hair and of course you not being that sturdy you ended up falling. I felt awful when you hit." He explained, looking at me. My heart pounded in my chest. It begged for me to throw myself into his arms, to love him with every ounce of my body, like I was able to do twenty years ago. But I couldn't. Not with Seth counting on us getting married. Never can I let myself fall for Jacob.
"So, now I'm weak!" I snorted, throwing my arms out as if I was egging him on. He stuttered and shook his head.
"No! T-that wasn't what I was saying!" He tried. He pushed himself to his feet and grabbed my shoulders. He looked deeply into my eyes, my heart fluttered as his eyes drew me in. My head started pounding. Wincing, I looked away from him. Being so close to him was pure torture. Pure pain. Pure agony. "May, can't you jet let me be happy?" He questioned. I looked at him, my upper lip twitching.
"Happy? And what about me Jake? Do you know what I've been through?" I whimpered. He rolled his eyes and let go, moving away.
"You see! It's always you, you, you. What about me for once?" He boomed. I snorted.
"Me? HAH! Jacob, it's always been about you!" I snarled. "Think about it!" I slapped my fingers to my temples. "I didn't want to leave cause I was afraid you'd die! I only thought about you! I only thought about how you'd do!" He rolled his eyes.
"Fine then, let's have it be about me." he smiled. "I mean, I know how irresistible I am to you," he laid his hand on my cheek. My heart thudded wildly in my chest, causing me to wince. It was painful, his very touch, the very sight of him. He was making this so hard for me. I pulled away.
"Jake," I whispered. He looked at me confused. "go curl up and die." I growled. Turning I made my way back towards the opening of the woods. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me around.
"Why are you acting like this?" He whined, the hotness of his hand causing my wrist to sweat. I turned around, my lips pressed in a hard line.
"Do you want to know why, Jake?" I snarled, ripping my hand away. "Because of a petty little, pompous, pig headed, selfish, arrogant, retarded, narcissistic mutt such as yourself!" He glared at me, his limps starting to shake with ever insult I called him. I laughed. "And you know what? You're nothing to me anymore baby! NOTHING!" I screamed, my voice being swallowed by the surrounding forest. "And for proof? I'm getting married to Seth! So eat me!" His jaw dropped as I pulled away. I felt victorious as I turned my back on him and made a dash into the woods. I didn't walk, I ran all the way to the road, ditching my sandals along the trail. I blindly ran out into the road, a curtain of rain gushing down like a bucket being poured onto my head.
I slammed to a stop, my feet skidding across the wet pavement. A black Mercedes swerved around me. Screaming I spun around, my hands hiding my face. I stood in the road, shivering. The sound of the car door opened and shut, became audible behind me.
"My goodness! Are you alright?" A man asked behind me. Lowering my hands, I looked back at him, my heart racing. He stopped just a couple inches away.
"Carlisle?" I whispered. He nodded and stepped forward.
"Mayella?" He questioned, looking oddly shocked. I nodded much like he had, worried of our encounter. Was he mad? Was he furious with my episode the last time I had seen them all? With the day I had put that rock through his window, and caught his stove on fire. He moved forward and laid his hand on my cheek, his cold touch almost soothing. "Are you alright dear?" He questioned softly. I nodded and pulled away.
"I'm sorry, Carlisle." I whimpered, looking down at the wet road. I could sense Jacob getting closer. I didn't want him anywhere near me.
"For what?" he questioned, removing his hand from my cheek.
"For destroying your house." I replied, looking at him. His beautiful blonde hair was drenched, sticking to his face in soaked streams of gold. He smiled, his face seeming flawless.
"That? Oh dear, I had forgiven you before. I admit it was wrong to do to you what we did." He explained. I looked back at the woods. Jacob's breathing was now audible. Carlisle looked as well, his face warping to a worried expression. "Jacob. I take it you were running away from him?" he questioned looking at me. I let off a small exhausted laugh and I nodded.
"Sometimes I wonder if you have the ability to read my mind." He laughed slightly and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
"Well, enough of this, I don't want you to come in contact with Jacob if that is what you desire." He informed, leading me to the car. I nodded. Opening the door for me, he pulled off to the side and waited as I climbed in. I nodded my thanks to him and swung my left leg in, plopping down on the leather seats, squishing loudly. Once settled in, he shut the door and headed off to the other side. Opening the door he climbed in and started the car. We started off down the road right when Jake emerged from the dark hedges. Thank god we got away in time. Looking at Carlisle, I cocked and eyebrow, feeling as if I should keep very proper around him.
"What did you mean by you had already forgiven me?" I asked, staring at his beautiful face as it stayed focus on the road. He sighed and looked at me, his mouth starting to pull into a more, apologetic smile.
"Well, you see, when you showed up and Jacob recognized Renesmee, we all slightly..." He trailed off, thinking for the right words.
"Got lost in time?" I questioned. He nodded, running his hand through his wet hair.
"Of course, you see, we were all very absorbed into just Renesmee that we were more bitter towards you than we should have been. After Emmett attacked you was when we realized the problem. Your mother spent hours trying to force Jacob to go find you. Renesmee told him he shouldn't." He explained. I clenched my fists tightly. I can't believe that Renesmee would actually sit there and do something like that...well, I could but, why would anyone do something like that to another person? That's just awful.
"How is dad taking things?" I questioned, not quite sure I grasped how he was handling it. Carlisle sighed.
"He's almost as devastated as your mother. He loves Renesmee, but he has stronger love for you, seeing how he was with you longer." I nodded, unclenching my fists, the scent of blood tickling my nose. I whimpered as I looked down at the cuts in my hands, my palms covered in blood. I gasped as the smell made my head spin. Carlisle looked at me worried as I gagged, then my vision went blank. I was alone in darkness.
Queen of Voltaire.
I woke up in a bed. The pillows fluffed out around my head as I stretched, the stars twinkling outside. A cluster of cheerful voices downstairs caught my attention as I heard my mother's lullaby being played on the piano. It was all a dream. Everything was a dream. The battle, my death. I would go downstairs and see that all of my family members were there. Jacob would be there with a loving smile on his face. Leah would be there, looking miserable as always. But still, she would be there.
Pushing myself out of the bed, I made my way towards the door and out into the hallway. I squeaked as I ran into Alice, bumping her off to the side a bit.
"Whoa May! Calm down." She giggled, steadying me.
"Where's Esme?" I practically barked, waiting for the answer I was hoping, hoping that Alice would say she was downstairs making dinner, or on the couch talking with Xio. Instead, her expression warped, her arms crushing me to her body.
"They're dead, remember?" She reminded me. I pulled away, my heart breaking. Of course my wishes were never granted. They never will be either. I sighed and looked down at the floor, my bottom lip trembling.
"Oh yeah, I forgot. I'm home, Jacob loves Renesmee and I proposed to Seth." I mumbled. Her eyes grew wide as she squealed.
"You're getting married to Seth!" She howled. I looked up at her shocked, surprised Jacob hadn't told her, or told Nessie and Nessie told Carlisle. I nodded slowly.
"Yeah...didn't Nessie tell you?" I questioned. Alice shook her head, a large smile on her face. Turning she darted down the stairs, practically skipping.
"Everyone! May's getting married to Seth!" She squealed. I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly as the house went up in cheers. Everyone was so…excited. Everyone except me. Maybe Jacob was right? Maybe I did only think about myself. But is that truly a bad thing? When a human is living with vampires and werewolves, is that really, truly a bad thing? Now that I was what I was, I hardly thought about myself. I mean, I risked my neck to find Mayella and Renesmee. I killed Rayne because I knew that if she were to beat me, she would have hurt one of my family members.
Walking forward, I headed down the stairs. Alice was jumping around, clapping her hands, squealing happily. My father zipped to my side, his arms wrapping around me in a tight embrace that made me gasp. I felt…alien to him. It didn't feel like I was his child, instead, I felt like we were best friends, friends who hadn't seen each other in twenty years. I hugged him back, my head resting on his shoulder.
"I am so sorry, Mayella." He whispered in my ear, the buzzing of the cheerful talk behind us almost deafening. I shook my head.
"No, I'm sorry." I pulled away and looked at him. He looked at me confused, his eyebrows furrowed in the center. His once perfect forehead was creased with worried, with sadness. I smiled. "I'm sorry for freaking out. I'm sorry for coming back to you guys, and I'm sorry for bringing Renesmee home, but it was something I had to do." I looked off towards my happy family, Alice dancing with my mother, Carlisle chatting happily with the werewolves –all of the except Seth and Sam who weren't here. Luckily Renesmee and Jacob weren't here either. "I had to come back," I looked at him again, the smile on my face feeling heavier than I was wishing. "I had to come home." He nodded.
A knock on the door caught us off guard, stopping the loud cheers and squealing of my overly excited aunt. Turning, my father reached forward and opened the door. Seth came in, drenched to the bone, licking his lips as if he were disgusted, then saw me.
"Ella! You're here!" He boomed, throwing himself at me. I laughed as he tackled me to the floor, cuddling me. "Why are you here? What happened? Do they hate you? Can I slap them?" He asked a million words per second. I rolled my eyes and pushed my finger to his lips.
"I ran into Jake. Almost got hit by Carlisle when I ran away, they don't hate me and no you can't slap them." I answered each of his questions with a giggle. He pouted and pulled off of me.
"Awww! I can't slap them? Really?" He whimpered, his eyes sparkling. He looked like a puppy, and any and all doubts that I had about marrying him disappeared. Perhaps it was because he was here, and I was truly happy with him? I giggled and lightly slapped his forehead. He fell backwards, my family and friends laughing.
"Oh, guess what?" I giggled, poking his stomach, watching him curl up like a slug.
"Huh?" He groaned more of a whine because I was poking him.
"I told them." I smiled. He looked at me confused for a second, then it hit him. His smile stretched across his face in a matter of seconds. Sitting up he threw his arms around me.
"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU DON"T EVEN KNOW!!" He howled, tears trickling down his cheeks. I grunted and fell backwards, him laying on me. Again the room filled up with laughter.
"Actually, Seth, I have an idea how much you love me." I wheezed as he cried into my chest, gently patting his head. I don't recall ever having Jake cry over me like this. Never….Well, there was that one time, but he didn't start crying over me until he found out I was pregnant. And that was probably because he realized his life was over.
Walking over, Matthias and Alex pulled him off of me, the sweet air rushing back into the lungs that Seth had constricted. I sat up as he struggled against them like a child, his arms out straight, whining. I smiled and teased him, holding my arms out, making him struggle harder until he just gave up and let his arms fall, his bottom lip puffed out. I laughed. Standing I looked around the room to see exactly who was and who wasn't there. There was Matthias and Alex, Carlisle, my mom, my dad, Alice, Emmett –who was standing in the back of the room with a nasty look on his face- Jessie, Tj –looking slightly upset, probably about his car- Jason, Ricky and Nathaniel. I didn't notice that Ryuuen was there until he stepped out, his skin still so beautiful in the swirls.
I stood up straight and looked at him, everyone falling silent at my stare down. I didn't feel welcome with him here, and he wasn't exactly giving me one of those Welcome Home looks either. He just stood there, his lips pressed in a hard line, his face stern.
"Ryuuen." I said solidly, almost monotonously. He snickered, his eyes narrowing as he uncrossed his arms and stepped forward.
"Valeria." He returned. I smiled, cocking an eyebrow.
"Two or three days in living in this house, hearing Renesmee bad talk me and you still don't know my name?" I questioned, taking a daring step forward. He smiled and looked down at how my hands were shaking. I was terrified to go to close to him, especially after he tried to attack me the day I killed his sister. He snorted.
"I know your name," He looked back up at my face." I just don't want to both with formalities, you know that." He returned. I shook my head and smiled.
"Formalities? But, my real name isn't a formality." I reminded him, the smile on my face both arrogant and yet, serene. He laughed.
"No, but in my dictionary, everything about you is a formality." He retorted. Translation; I don't want anything to do with you.
"Now now children, fight nicely." A sweet, soft voice chortled. A pale hand landed on Ryuuen's shoulder as the pallid figure stepped out from the darkness. The white hair fluttered like a sheet in the wind, and at first I thought this was all a trap. At first I thought it was one of the Volturi, but seeing the beautifully smooth visage and the blue eyes told me who it was. Xio. My heart leapt in both surprise and anger. Running to him I threw my arms around him, I squealed his name. He looked at me confused for a second –well, kind of looked at me- then smiled.
"Ah! Mayella! So you found your home?" He questioned. Pulling away I snapped my hand across his face. He pulled away in shock, slightly terrified, his hand holding his face.
"That's for trying to rape me you sicko!" I squealed. He paused for a moment, then smiled.
"I apologize, seriously, I do. But, now isn't the time to be so rude." He laughed. I glared at him.
"Just because your blind doesn't mean I'm going to excuse you from your punishment you know that right? He laughed and shook his head, walking by me to join the chattering crowd of family members. I smiled as I stared at all of them, most of them congratulating Seth on the marriage. Finally, I had the family I'd lost before. And I was going to hold onto them tightly this time…I hope.