The second part of the story would begin from the next chapter, this chapter is conclusion of this part of the story, thus short. it is a link.
Sherlock woke up to complete and utter emptiness.
There were no thoughts, no feelings and no Jim. The last one shook him out of slumber completely.
Where is he?
The answer was right in front of him, staring at him from the giant screen right across the bed. Sherlock took a deep breath and sat up slowly.
"It's good to see you looking for me in the morning." The well-known face on the screen said to him in the familiar sweet tone.
Sherlock got out of the bed and went close to the screen, looking at the screen with concern filled eyes.
"Are you okay? You should be resting."
Jim inhaled deeply tilting his head backwards, smiling, as if inhaling Sherlock's smell.
Concern. Concern for Jim. Sherlock's concern for Jim. Just after last night when Jim made him feel caged, helpless, guilty, sick. Just after a night of hating him. Just after a night Jim had caused himself some physical pain.
Whatever pains me pains Sherlock more. He can't stop loving me. No, it's not possible.
At that moment Jim felt like the most powerful man on the earth. Which obviously he was close to being.
"I'll be back soon, honey." Jim said to Sherlock with a look of serenity.
Sherlock went closer to the screen and put a hand on Jim's virtual cheek. He leaned into the virtual touch. After a moment of silently watching each other the screen turned off automatically. Sherlock stood there looking into the void for some moments before sighing and going into the bath.
Sherlock had decided to turn himself into a machine. He would adhere to it. He would be Jim's own private robot which ate, slept, walked, made love just as he wanted. An unfeeling machine, without any other thoughts than which Jim would allow him, without any choice of his own. Jim had always abided by his choices and now Sherlock would reciprocate whole heartedly. There were no other choices and it was completely futile to struggle or argue. At least this way he wouldn't cause any more deaths involuntarily and his mind wouldn't feel like it would erupt because of his feelings. Ten years, ten long years passed in such futile arguments, failed attempts to change the inevitable, feeling helpless and complete and utter defeat. It was enough now. Enough for a lifetime. It was time he should realize and accept that change was impossible and move on, take a new course of life which was more tolerable till the end. And maybe, just maybe someday Jim would succumb to his silent compliance and leave this wretched life behind. Maybe Jim would be cured.
Just maybe…