Chapter 14

Severus stared over the edge of the Astronomy Tower. He looked down at the ground, but saw nothing. His mind was filled with thoughts of Hermione Granger. His heart had nearly stopped when he had caught a glimpse of her in the Great Hall tonight. She had looked like an angel. Her hair had been transformed into spun silk, and her dress had accented her form perfectly. It had sparkled and shimmered in different colors as the light hit it. She had been utterly beautiful.

She had laughed when she had seen him, which had made his heart both leap to hear it and cringe to think that she did not find him attractive. Her ensuing explanation had eased his mind somewhat, but then she had continued to poke jibes at him. In truth, he loved when she was like this. Her teasing, coming from anyone else, would have sent him into a tirade, but he had known there was no malice behind her words. He had enjoyed the sparring that they did immensely.

Severus couldn't understand her. Sometimes he felt as if she cared for him as much as he cared for her, but over and over again he had been proven wrong. He had felt her respond to him when they had kissed before, but ultimately she had pushed him away. She hadn't cared for him like that and never would.

Of course, how could she? Look at what he had become. He had aligned himself with the Dark Lord and had become a symbol of evil. No one could look past that and see him for who he really was. Lily couldn't. She had balked at his choice of friends from the beginning. It had been the thing that had made her distance herself from him, that and his derogatory comment to her.

No, no one would ever care for him now that he had become something so evil. Hermione Granger could never care for him because of it. She stood for everything good and right in the world. She could never align herself with him romantically. She was probably repulsed just thinking of it.

She also knew his future self, and he had been terrible to her. Probably when he had kissed her, all she could think of was the horrid professor who berated her at every turn… the git who loved no one. He was surprised she hadn't run screaming from him.

No, there was no possibility that she would come to care for him like that. She had already made up her mind that he was not the one for her. She was incredibly stubborn. She would never change her mind. He usually found her tenacity to be meritable, but there were the times like this, when it would blind her from the truth, that frustrated him to no end.

Why was he torturing himself so? He clung to her side, even though he knew there could be nothing more than friendship between them. It was destroying him. He treasured every moment with her, but it caused him nothing but heartache. He was being foolish. He needed to stop this indulgence before he was hurt irreparably.

The only thing he could do was break off their friendship. Perhaps with distance he could somehow forget her. Somehow he could move on. She would move on. She would return to her time and live her life as before. He needed to move on too. He felt his heart freeze within him as he resolved to end his relationship with Hermione Granger. It was all for the better in the long run. His heart would mend in time. It would have no choice.

oooOOOooo

Mallory was right, Hermione thought. This had gone on too long as it was. She needed to be truthful to Severus. Before she had a chance to search for him, Horace Slughorn asked her for a dance. After him, two consecutive sixth-year students—an American cowboy, and a giant grape—caught her and danced with her. Then James Potter asked for a dance before she had a chance to retreat to the sidelines. Hermione tried to be friendly to James, but his treatment of Severus had soured her view of the young man. She was happy when that dance was over. Finally she staggered over to Dumbledore.

"Whew, that wore me out!" she cried.

Albus smiled at her.

"Did you see where Severus went to?" she asked him as she scanned the room for the young man.

"He left during the second song," Albus told her.

Hermione looked worried for a minute. Something was wrong. He wouldn't just leave without saying anything.

"Do you mind if I go look for him, Headmaster?"

Albus looked around. "I think we have plenty of policemen here, Hermione. Take your time."

She headed for the exit and went outside. He wasn't there. She turned back to the castle and reentered through the doors. She went down to the dungeons and the Slytherin common room. She asked the picture if Severus was in there, but was told no. She climbed all the stairs up to the Room of Requirement, but he wasn't there either. She stood outside the door and mulled over where she would look next. She got an idea.

I need to find Severus Snape, I need to find Severus Snape, I need to find Severus Snape, she repeated as she passed the door three times.

She opened the door and was surprised to see the roof of the Astronomy tower.

"Thank you," she said as she closed the door and headed for the tower.

She had raced up the stairs so fast, she had to stop at the top and catch her breath. She took in a few deep gulps of air and calmed her breathing. Then she quietly opened the door. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness, and she was able to make out the stone wall that served as a border for the roof.

There he was, leaning against the stone, looking over the side. She could see his profile as he looked down. Merlin, he was handsome. He seemed deep in thought. She wandered silently over to him and stood behind him for a few seconds. He didn't notice her. She came up behind him and placed her hand on his arm. He looked over at her, scowled, and looked away.

Hermione was at a loss about his reaction.

"Are you alright, Severus? You disappeared without a word."

"I'm fine," he said blandly.

She drew up beside him and looked down. She could see every detail of the grounds from here. The grass looked grey in the moonlight, and far off in the distance, the lake shimmered. The view was as breathtaking as ever.

"Do you come here a lot?"

"Only when I want to think," he snapped.

She sighed. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," he stated.

"Sounds productive," she bantered, trying to lift his mood.

Silence.

"That was four," she said, referring to the number of times she had teased him. She leaned in towards him conspiratorially. "What are you going to do about it?"

He looked at her solemnly. There was a great sadness in his eyes. Hermione's heart clenched within her chest.

"I can't do this anymore, Hermione."

"Can't do what?" she asked as she searched his face for a clue as to what he was speaking of.

He looked away again. "I can't keep pretending we're just friends. I can't keep spending time with you, but never being able to really be with you. I know you don't care for me that way, but I care for you, and I can't stop thinking about you. I need to stop seeing you in the evenings. It's hard enough seeing you in class."

Hermione stared at him for a long time. She was doing exactly what she had been afraid of. She was hurting him. But her fear had been for the future. She was hurting him in the here and now. It didn't matter that she would leave this time and return to her own, eventually leaving him alone; he was in agony now. Why had she pushed him away for so long? She was denying the both of them happiness. What a fool she had been.

Hermione took her hand and caressed Severus' cheek. He closed his eyes at her touch.

"No," she said flatly, placing her hand on his shoulder.

He turned and looked at her. "You would torture me so? I'm sorry, Hermione, I cannot do this anymore. I can't play at just being your friend any longer."

With that he turned and started for the door. Hermione rushed up behind him and tugged at his arm.

"Wait, Severus, no! I'm sorry! I've been so foolish. You're wrong about me. I do care for you that way." She hesitated for a few seconds, looking at his stiff back. "Severus, I love you," she confessed in a whisper.

He whipped around and looked at her in amazement.

"I've been afraid of what the future would bring," Hermione confided as she wrung her hands, "I thought we would just wind up hurting each other. I knew I would have to go back to my time. I couldn't see anything good coming from us being separated for so long." She looked at him worriedly. "I didn't want to hurt you in the future, but I didn't realize I was already hurting you. I'm sorry… please! It doesn't matter about the future; it will happen no matter what we do about it. I don't care anymore. I just want you. I don't want to be without you for another minute."

Severus stood silently in shock for a moment. "You mean you don't find me repulsive?" he asked tentatively.

She studied him intently. "Why would I ever think that?"

"Because of how horrid I was in your past; because I am a Death Eater."

"Severus," she whispered, putting her hand on his arm. "I know who you are now, and I love that person. You must stop berating yourself for your choice to spy for the Order. You are not a bad man; you are an incredibly brave man. You're caring and wonderful, and I find you incredibly attractive. I could never find you repulsive. I love you."

oooOOOooo

Severus searched her face, looking for deception. He found nothing but immense love in her eyes. His arms went around her, and he pulled her close. His lips descended upon hers, and he was filled with the sweetness of her loving kiss. She entwined her arms around his neck and pulled him even closer, kissing him over and over. Severus couldn't believe his fortune. He had been heartbroken at the thought of not being able to see her anymore. He had thought their friendship was at an end, but their relationship was just beginning. He fell into her kisses and lost himself completely. She was his everything.

oooOOOooo

"Don't stop," Hermione sighed in between kisses. "Don't ever stop." She couldn't get enough of him now that she had confessed her love for him. He was her everything.

He smiled and pulled her even closer. "I won't, because I love you too," he whispered as his lips once again descended on hers.

Her heart leapt at his words. She knew he cared for her, but had never dared to think that he could possibly love her already. But he did. Her heart soared as he kissed her passionately. She would never get enough of him and his all-consuming kisses. They sent shivers down her spine, filling her with a love that could not be expressed in words. His lips on hers and his loving embrace made her feel complete.

Finally they broke apart, and he held her close as they caught their breath.

"I've been so stupid," Hermione confessed, "keeping away from you. I thought it would be for the best, but it just brought us both torment."

"Foolish woman, don't you know that you are the best thing for me?"

"I do now," she murmured.

Hermione tightened her embrace, trying to bring him even closer to her than he already was. Severus looked down at her, smiling at her desire to be so close.

"Did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight?" he asked her.

"I think I was too busy making fun of your costume for you to get a word in edgewise," she murmured.

He lifted her chin so she could look into his eyes.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

She smiled up at him. "I must admit," she said, "you took my breath away when you entered the Hall tonight, you looked so gorgeous."

oooOOOooo

He smiled at her before kissing her again. How could he be so lucky as to have her love him? She was beautiful, intelligent, witty, and his equal in every way. He knew he could search the whole world over and never find someone as amazing as she was. His heart swelled with love for Hermione as his lips found hers, and he kissed her fervently. He lost himself again in her passionate kisses.

oooOOOooo

After a while they returned to the dance hand in hand. Albus looked at them and gave them a huge smile, his eyes twinkling furiously. Mallory glanced up from her current dance partner and gave Hermione a thumbs up. Hermione only smiled back at her. Severus glanced down at her quizzically.

"I'll tell you about it later," she explained.

There was a slow dance playing again, and they resumed the dance that Lucius had so rudely interrupted. Hermione laid her head on Severus chest as they swayed together. She couldn't imagine a better place to be than right here in his arms.

The students had murmured before when Professor Granger had been seen dancing with Snape, but now the chatter was constant.

Professor Granger has her head on Snape's shoulder. Do you think he Imperioused her? What's wrong with her; is she blind? Does she really like that grease ball? How could she get near him?

"It looks like Snivellus has found himself a girl," Sirius remarked to James as they stood on the sidelines. "No wonder she always gets so irate when she catches us having fun with him."

James frowned as he watched Professor Granger and Snape dance. "It's absolutely revolting that someone could get that close to him! She must be insane!" he said in disgust.

Severus and Hermione wandered too near the two gossiping Marauders, and Severus caught what they were saying. His body went rigid. Hermione pulled her head up and looked at him.

"What is it?" she asked with concern.

"Potter and Black are talking about us. They think you've lost your mind," Severus spat.

"Oh, they're right," Hermione said as she put her head down again. "I've lost my mind and heart to you."

He relaxed a little. "You don't mind that everyone's probably speaking badly about you?"

She shrugged. "I couldn't care less. They're just a bunch of jealous teenagers."

He pulled her closer to him. "Are you worried about what the faculty will say?"

She looked up at him again. "You are of age aren't you?" she asked slyly.

He nodded, "You know I am."

"Then there's nothing to worry about." She returned her head to his chest.

"I will give those students a month of detentions if I hear them speaking badly of you again," she said loudly enough for the closest gossipers to hear her.

Nat Kensington and Debra Garron had been nose to nose, exclaiming how horrid it was that Professor Granger was dancing with such a creep. Of course, they were just jealous of her. They actually wanted to dance with him themselves, but could never admit it to anyone because he was such an outcast. Their eyes went wide as they heard Hermione's threat, and they scurried away.

"Hermione, you're amazing," Severus said with a huge grin on his face.

Hermione looked up at him lovingly as he watched the gossiping girls tell the rest of the room about Hermione's detention threat. Severus didn't care who saw them or what they said anymore. He bent low and kissed her tenderly as an audible gasp came from the crowd around them.

Lucius Malfoy looked on with interest, wondering why Severus didn't earn himself a detention with that kiss the same way he had.

A/N: Next up: Lucius has another problem.

Well, Hermione almost blew it, but she came to her senses in the end. So, what do you think? Did that make up for leaving all of you hanging in the last chapter? I hope so; you're all so great I hate to make you frustrated. :) Reviews are always appreciated and answered quickly.